by Ravenna Tate
****
Mastema knocked on Kayla’s door shortly before dinner, but she didn’t answer. He searched for her in the dining room, but she wasn’t there, either. Finally, keeping his voice as casual as possible, he asked Zipper if she knew where Kayla was.
“Nope. We finished laundry and she left.”
If he made an issue out of it, his Brothers would tease the shit out of him. Not that he wouldn’t survive it, but he didn’t want that shit to get back to Kayla. Not until he told her about Tina, and not before he had a chance to figure out whether her feelings for him extended beyond sex.
It wasn’t as if he could simply ask her. After all these years of fucking for no reason other than to fuck, Mastema was so gun-shy it was fucking ridiculous. He’d never admit that to anyone. Not for any reason.
And each time he imagined asking Kayla whether her feelings went beyond fucking, he also imagined her laughing at him, or at least wearing an expression that suggested she’d rather have any other conversation than that one. If his Brothers knew what a complete wuss he truly was, they’d strip off his patches and escort his sorry ass to the street.
With Tina, it had been so uncomplicated. Their mutual attraction had been instant and strong. There hadn’t been any need for dancing around the issue, or working himself into a state over whether she cared for him as much as he cared for her. She’d pursued him at the same speed he’d pursued her.
But that wouldn’t happen with Kayla. Her past kept her from trusting anyone. He didn’t need a fucking shrink to figure that out. And he hadn’t felt this way about any woman in eight years, so his equilibrium was off, to say the least. He had no fucking clue how to go about navigating this, whatever it was, they had together.
He only knew two things. He wanted Kayla like he hadn’t wanted anyone in a long time, and he would cut off his own arm before he’d hurt her.
Was that enough to sustain a relationship? Even with both of them so fucked up from what they’d each gone through? He had no fucking clue.
“Hey, you still with us? Or are you on the fucking moon right now?”
The laughter, in addition to Rahab tapping Mastema on the side of the head, got Mastema’s attention. “Fuck you!”
“Man, I just asked you three fucking questions in a row, but all you did was stare off into space.”
Mastema pushed his chair back and picked up his plate. “I’m done.”
More laughter followed him out of the room. Whatever. He put his plate and silverware in the kitchen, where Rai and Honey had already begun to wash the dinner dishes. After a moment’s debate, he asked them if they’d seen Kayla lately.
“She came down for food about a half hour ago,” said Honey. “Said she wanted to eat in her room.”
“Thanks.” He left before either of the women could pry. He’d had enough of being teased today.
As he walked down the hall on the third floor toward Kayla’s room, she came out, carrying a tray with half-eaten food on it. “Hey,” he said. “Missed you at dinner. I came up to check on you.”
Fuck. He sounded like a goddamn pathetic asshole.
“Oh.”
“So were you in there and just didn’t answer the door when I knocked?” Ouch.
“I might have been in the bathroom.”
Or, you might not have wanted to talk to me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Just wasn’t in the mood for group conversation tonight.”
“Yeah. I hear you.” She didn’t know who was knocking on the door, genius. You never spoke. They stood there, awkwardly staring at each other. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
“Oh, right. Yeah. You said that earlier.” She waited for him to speak.
“Not here in the hallway. In private.”
“Oh, okay.” Was that hesitation in her eyes? He’d been right. This was a huge fucking mistake. She was only interested in sex from him, not anything else. “Let me take this down and I’ll be right back. You want to wait in my room?”
If he backed out now, he’d look more fucking ridiculous than he had all day. “Sure. Okay.”
Confusion filled her face as she made her way toward the stairs. Why the hell had he come up here a second time? He was such a fucking chump. Now he’d be forced to tell her the truth, or make up something. What the fuck was wrong with him?
Chapter Twelve
It was difficult not to hope as Kayla made her way back up to her room. On the other hand, what Mastema wanted to tell her could very well be that he had no interest in a relationship with her that wasn’t purely sexual. Either way, this was it. The moment of truth. She had no choice but to face it because he was up there, waiting.
Why was it so painful to look at him now? How could she have let this happen to her? Falling for a guy you were fucking was the worst possible scenario. It only led to heartache and disappointment.
She took a seat next to him on her bed. “What did you want to tell me?” No sense in prolonging the agony.
Those blue eyes she loved so much filled with pain. “You were kind enough to share your past with me. It’s time I shared mine with you.”
What? That sure didn’t sound like the lead-in to a “I only want to fuck you, not date you” conversation.
“Eight years ago, I lost my old lady.”
Nothing he could have said would have shocked her more than hearing that.
“Her name was Tina Caron, and she came here to work as a bartender nine years ago. I was … stricken is the best word I can use to describe it. Kind of like when I first saw you.”
Holy shit…
“And she felt the same way, right from the beginning. I was so young. Only twenty-three. But I knew she was the one. Less than a month after she came here, I asked her to be my old lady. Until Tannin asked Rai within one week, I held the record.”
Kayla smiled. He was so damn endearing when he was like this. It was impossible not to fall under his spell. She completely understood why Tina had done so.
“A year later, she was driving to Cincinnati to visit her parents, along with two of her cousins who lived in Strongsville. They were in an SUV, driving on icy roads, and her cousin Sandy lost control of the vehicle. They struck a semi, bounced off a guardrail, and rolled over a few times. None of them survived the crash.”
Tears sprang to Kayla’s eyes. She put a hand over her mouth, and wanted to move closer to him, but was frozen to the bed. She couldn’t imagine the pain he’d gone through. Was still going through.
“She was pregnant, too. About two months. Obviously, the baby didn’t survive, either.”
“Oh, Mastema. I am so sorry.” Kayla wiped away the tears that spilled over her lashes.
“Thanks. I wanted to tell you because you trusted me enough to share your past.”
“I can’t even picture how horrible that must have been for you.”
“I was supposed to go with them, but stayed here because I got the ‘flu. Everyone in the club ended up having it. Otherwise…”
“You’d be dead, too,” she whispered.
“Probably. The troopers said they weren’t speeding. It was just one of those shitty things that happen on icy roads, and SUVs roll too easily once the wind catches them just right.”
“Yeah. They do.” She had no idea what to say. All this time she’d been totally focused on her role in this relationship, when all along, he’d been waiting to share this with her.
“Did you know it was me knocking on the door before dinner?”
“No. I honestly didn’t.”
When relief flitted across his face, guilt washed over her. He wasn’t stupid. It was obvious she’d been avoiding him. Just because he’d done the same thing to her didn’t mean she had to retaliate. She’d been avoiding him because she was afraid of her own feelings, not because he’d upset her.
“Why did you stay up here to eat tonight?”
If she told him now, after what he’d just shared with her, would he think her the most immature
woman he’d ever met? But she had to tell him something, and she’d never resolve this unless they talked about it.
“This now seems like the worst possible time to bring it up, but I was thinking about us. What we’re doing. Where this is going, or if it’s going anywhere at all.” Kayla swallowed hard. Stop being such a fucking baby and just ask him! “Like I said, bad timing.”
The most horrible expression of disappointment crossed his face. He nodded a couple of times. “I had a suspicion you were avoiding me for that reason.”
“I’m sorry. I needed time to think.”
“No need to apologize. You’re entitled to your feelings.”
“After what you just told me, it seems wrong to talk about it.” Please take the out I just gave you! She didn’t want to have this conversation anymore, especially because he looked less than thrilled at what she’d just said.
“It’s not wrong. I’d rather know now than let this drag on any longer.”
What the fuck did that mean?
“Um, well, then I guess one of us has to ask it.”
Confusion filled his handsome face. “Ask what?”
Now it was her turn for bewilderment. “Ask whether what we have is just sex. Whether this is going anywhere beyond that. I mean, I know we said we wouldn’t fuck anyone but each other, but people are talking. They’re saying we’re a thing. Are we?”
He blinked a few times. “That’s what you meant? What you said before, I thought you meant … fuck.” He ran a hand over his beard. “Kayla, I suspected you had noticed things. The way people are whispering about us, and how focused I’ve been on you. The fact I obviously can’t hide my feelings, because I’m getting sideways with anyone who even looks at you wrong.”
Like the incident earlier in the club with the wrench.
“I have feelings for you. Strong feelings. Feelings I haven’t had since Tina. I thought perhaps you’d noticed, and didn’t feel the same way. That you were up here avoiding me, or figuring out a way to let me down easily.”
She let out a sigh of relief and frustration. “Well, aren’t we a pair? I was thinking the same thing about you. That you had realized my feelings for you went beyond sex, but you wanted no part of that.”
“Fuck. Nothing could be further from the truth. But given your past, I wasn’t sure you’d be able to trust anyone that much.”
“I’m not sure I can, if you want the honest truth. But I would love to try. Hell. What about you? How on earth do you get over something like that? What happened to Tina?”
“You don’t. Not really. But at some point, you need to move on and live your life. She’d want that.”
“Oh, God.” Kayla sniffed hard as more tears fell. When he pulled her close and embraced her, she let go of all the pain and frustration she’d been holding inside and cried in his arms. “I seem to do this a lot.”
“I don’t mind at all.” He stroked her hair and her back, and she reveled in his warm, hard body. It was so comforting. Everything about him was. His scent, his exterior gruffness, and the tenderness he showed only to her. He was exactly the kind of man she’d once fantasized about meeting, before reality blew those dreams to hell and back.
“So what do we now?” he asked. “What do you want from this?”
“I don’t know. Can we just keep doing what we’re doing and see where it leads?”
She didn’t need to see his smile. She sensed it. “Yeah. I can do that. That’s perfect.”
The sound of cars pulling into the parking lot was more frequent now, reminding her that he had work to do in the club. “You’d better get downstairs.”
Soft kisses teased her neck, sending shockwaves of desire racing through her. “It can wait a bit.” His voice was smoky and filled with lust. Was there a man alive who would pass up a chance to fuck, even after a heart-wrenching conversation like the one they’d just had?
“I don’t have any condoms in the room.”
He released the embrace and reached into his jeans pocket, then held up the foil wrapper. “Got it covered. But you should stock some in here, just in case.”
She laughed. “Or those handcuffs you once used on me. Those would be fun.”
“Fuck, Kayla. I’m not going to my room to get anything. We’re fucking now.” He kissed her neck again, working his way up to her mouth. She wrapped her arms around him and shoved her tongue between his lips, moaning into his open mouth.
“You want me to tie you up, we’ll use something else.” Mastema released her, and Kayla’s heart pounded as excitement coursed through her. He glanced around, finally dropping his gaze to her breasts.
“This will do.” She gasped as he pulled off her tank top. She hadn’t bothered with a bra today. The sexy grin that spread over his face as he eyed her boobs sent a gush of wetness to her pussy.
What a rollercoaster ride of emotions this day had been! But she was exactly where she wanted to be right now. With Mastema, his muscles, those incredible blue eyes, and the cock inside his pants that was surely hard as a rock. She couldn’t wait to have it inside her once more.
He grasped her breasts and teased them with his teeth and tongue. “You want to be tied up again? You want me to fuck you while you can’t get away from me?”
Kayla moaned loudly as fresh arousal assaulted her senses at those words. “Yes!”
Gasping again as he picked her up, she tried to keep breathing when he carried her toward the pole in the corner.
“I hope you’re not making that sound because you’re about to tell me again you can’t believe I carried you someplace.” He placed her on her feet, facing the pole. “Bend over.”
She had gasped for that reason, but not because of her body image. “No. It’s because you’re very strong and I find that incredibly sexy.”
“I find your body incredibly sexy.” He tied her tank top around her wrists. “Keep your hands on the pole so you don’t slide, and bend over a bit more.”
Once she did as he asked, he pulled down her shorts and helped her step out of them. She moaned again as he molded his body against hers. Even though he was still dressed, it was so damn arousing. And, she could easily get the tank top off her wrists if need be, but she loved the idea of pretending she was his prisoner once more.
“Kayla…” He reached around and grasped her breasts, kneading them until she was ready to scream in frustration. “Maybe I should go and get more condoms and the lube after all?”
One hand moved to her clit, rubbing it slowly. Her pussy was so wet that her labia made noises as he massaged her. “On the other hand, I love teasing you this way.”
Except she was so ready to come it was insane. “Please!”
He moved to the side and slid his other hand around to her ass, pushing one finger into her asshole. While he finger-fucked her ass, he continued to caress her clit with his other hand. “Please what?”
“Oh, God! Please fuck me!”
“You’re so fucking wet already.”
“How can I help that?”
“I love it.” He removed his fingers and pulled down the zipper on his jeans, taking out his dick. “But we’re going to make this last, Bedroom Eyes. You will come when I’m ready to let you come.”
Chapter Thirteen
Mastema moved next to her face and turned it toward his cock. She licked her lips at the sight of it, red and swollen, with tiny beads of pre-cum already dotting the tip. “Open your mouth.”
Kayla didn’t even hesitate. He shoved his dick inside, holding her head still as he slid it in and out, so damn slowly it drove her wild with need. She curled her lips around her teeth and relaxed her throat muscles.
“Oh, yes! That’s fucking exquisite. You can’t get away from me. God, Kayla. You should see how fucking sexy you look right now. Bent over and tied to this pole. I’m going to ask Gorgon to put a second one next to it so I can tie you up between them, spread-eagled, and fuck you until you beg me to stop.”
That image sent tiny contractions
to her clit, which throbbed now from the need for release. He fucked her mouth harder. The tip of his cock touched the back of her throat with each thrust. Kayla flexed her Kegel muscles and tried to make herself come as hot desire spread through her.
But before she could bring herself to orgasm, he withdrew from her mouth and kissed her, hard and rough. “I will never get enough of you.”
“Same here.” She could hardly breathe, let alone form a sentence. Mastema trailed his dick over her face, lightly slapping her skin with it, before moving to her breasts to do the same to her nipples.
He alternated that with grasping them, rolling her taut peaks between his thumbs and forefingers the way she loved. The effect sent tiny jolts of electricity straight to her clit, until she was poised right on the edge of a climax.
“I can’t stand it any longer. Please let me come!”
“No fucking way.” He grabbed her head and shoved his cock back inside her mouth. “I’m having too much fun teasing you.”
Kayla relaxed her throat muscles again and tightened her grip on the pole as he fucked her hard and rough. His grunts and load groans told her he was close to coming, and when he did, her mouth filled with hot, tasty cum. She did her best to swallow it, but at this angle, most of it ended up on her face.
Once he withdrew, he blinked a few times and glanced around. “Oh good.” He grabbed two bottles of water off her dresser and opened one, holding it to her mouth so she could drink from it. Then he drained it and placed the other one on the floor next to the pole.
“You still okay like this? Because we’re not done.”
“I’m fine.” It didn’t escape her attention he’d let her drink first, and had made sure she was all right. She recalled the first night she’d fucked him, thinking he was a keeper. She’d been right.
Mastema pulled the footstool over and placed it underneath her, then he lay draped across it and grinned up at her. “Perfect.” He tortured her breasts with his hands and tongue, sending her to crazy heights of desire as he licked and sucked her nipples, gently bit them, and squeezed the mounds of flesh together until Kayla was so wet, her juices ran down her thighs.
