by Julia Gray
“Just an unfortunate accident,” he says quietly. I shake my head. He may be a hardcore negotiator, but I can always call his bluff. He gets the same look on his face as me when he makes something up. He expects me to come clean, but he can lie to my face whenever he wants.
“Fine,” I respond. “You tell don’t me . . . I don’t tell you.” Dad clears his throat and then grins.
“So you did take a detour on your way home.” He raises an eyebrow. My hand fiddles with my cell phone. And the questions begin. From this point on it’s best to stay silent. “Listen, Dane; I know what you’re thinking. It’s none of my business.” I tilt my head. He’s right. It isn’t. “But see it actually is my business.”
“Dad-”
“Dane,” he raises his voice. “It’s time you grow up.”
“Whatever,” I mumble. “I’m leaving.” I turn towards the door, thinking of nothing but Mikki’s face and how much I want to get out of Seaside. I’ve only been back for a whole of two hours tops.
“You’re not.” Dad stands up even though the nurse told him to take it easy. He limps in my direction, a head taller and muscles just as firm. I stop still. “I’m not finished with you.”
“Dad-”
“Sir,” he corrects me. “And speaking of growing up I have a job for you.” He glances up and down the hallway, making sure we are definitely alone. “Tonight I was paid a visit by an old colleague.”
“A colleague huh,” I respond.
“Don’t interrupt.” Dad places a firm hand on my shoulder. I clear my throat, avoiding his deathly glare. “There’s an urgent matter that needs to be taken care of, and for that, I need your help.” I nod in agreement, feeling like I don’t have much of a choice.
“Yes, sir.”
“Where ever it is you’re going, stay close to home. When I contact you, you must respond immediately, understand?”
I went to a school I hate because of him, studied a subject I don’t care for, put up with a roommate that’s an absolute dick. I went through the trouble of making sure I would never be able to return once I left, and all for what?
To keep on doing what I’m told.
Not anymore.
“Actually . . .” I glance down the hallway and wait for a few hospital staff to linger near the door. Maybe if there are witnesses, Dad won’t punch my lights out for refusing him. “You’re on your own.” I watch him lift his chin and intensely study my expression.
“Sir,” I add.
He exhales.
“Just think how disappointed your Mom will be when she finds out.”
No, not him too.
“What?” My throat tightens. How did he know about Mikki and me?
Paige, you idiot.
“We went to great lengths to get you into a good school,” he continues. I shrug. Relief. This I can deal with. “Imagine how heartbroken your mother will be when she finds out you’ve been suspended.” I can’t help but laugh. He thinks I care about that?
“Go ahead.” I smile. “Tell her. See if I care.”
“It’s obvious to me you don’t care, son. But your mother will insist on severe consequences make no mistake. Maybe going as far as cutting you off.” My heart leaps back into my ribcage. My cheeks start to feel hot, and the muscles in my torso start to flex.
“Okay,” I say through my teeth. “What am I supposed to do?” Dad’s smile spreads across his face.
“For now . . . nothing.”
* * *
I see Mikki waiting under a leafy oak. The night sky hides her face, but I imagine her wide eyes staring into mine. She looks up when she sees me, and instantly I am drawn to her. I want to hold her and take care of her. I want to get the hell out of here.
“Are you okay?” Her soft voice is refreshing.
“You know what?” I grab her around the waist. “Let’s run away.”
“Dane,” she giggles.
“I mean it. Let’s go somewhere for a while. Just the two of us without annoying family members telling us what to do.”
She glances down at her shoes. Her hair blows in the wind, making her look like an innocent goddess.
“You know I can’t,” she whispers. “I can’t leave Scarlett. She needs me.”
“She can manage. She’s a big girl.”
“I wish I could.” Her voice enters my head and circles my brain. My conscience whispers in my ear. It’s hard to keep my secret from her any longer. I stare at her jewel-like eyes.
I can’t do it.
Now isn’t the right time to tell her.
Then when is the right time?
MIKKI
Chapter Six
“Let’s do it.”
Dane is holding me and asking me to run away with him. All of me wants to say yes, but in the back of my head, I know what that means. We’ll spend every waking moment together and every night too. I start to feel anxious just thinking about that moment when we finally share everything.
“Um,” I mutter. “Do you want to go the café or something? The one near the highway.” That is the only place he is willing to go with me. No one we know ever goes there. I pause, hoping he’ll go for it. He nods and then kisses me. His hands rub the side of my cheek and pull at my hair.
I close my eyes and imagine the two of us alone on a deserted beach. The sun is shining, and my skin is perfectly tan. Dane pulls me down into the sand. His lips nibble at my neck and play with my bikini strap. My heart beats faster as he presses his body into mine, pushing me further into the sand. His lips move up to my mouth. I feel a tingling that I don’t want to leave. I want to lose myself in his embrace. I want this moment to last forever.
I open my eyes and realize we’re on the ground. My jacket is pressed against the dew-covered grass. For a moment I hesitate and pull my lips away from his. Dane gazes at my bare neck and visible collar bones.
“I’m sorry I . . .”
“Right.” He stands up and grabs my hand. “The café.” The two of us start walking towards his car. I shield my eyes as a car passes. The headlights are blinding.
Should I say yes to his proposition?
Should I forget about Aunt Scar, my internship, and run away?
That’s part of my problem, and the reason I’m still a virgin. I’m not spontaneous enough. Aunt Scarlett even told me that once when I wouldn’t go to Warped Tour with Zanna.
“Dane,” I sigh. “What if . . . I mean.” I can’t do it. My heart is beating too fast.
“Don’t Mikki,” he replies. “I was just being an idiot.”
“So you don’t want to go somewhere just the two of us?”
“Of course I do.” He stops, grabbing both my hands. Another car passes and nearly blinds me again. My chest pounds even more.
“Well then . . . maybe we should.”
Dane’s eyes go wide. His mouth opens, but I think he’s speechless. I bite the side of my lip. This is it. I can’t change my mind this time. I’m eighteen. Years overdue on losing it, according to everyone else my age.
“Mikki are you-”
I can hear his phone buzzing. He stops mid-sentence and clears his throat.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “It’s my dad.” He answers the phone and says nothing. He’s nodding and listening. The look on his face stays firm. “Mikki,” he sighs. “I have to go.”
Last chance, Mikki. Be spontaneous.
“Let’s do it,” I blurt out. “Let’s go away together. Tonight.”
“Believe me I want nothing more but . . .”
My throat tightens. I’ve already screwed this up.
“Tonight I have some stuff to do,” he finishes.
“Oh.” I stare at my shoes. His hand reaches for my chin.
“But tomorrow I’m all yours.”
Chapter Seven
“Is something wrong, Officer?”
I never thought my first time would be with Dane. But I guess we came pretty close over Christmas break. I had to be sure our relationship wasn’t a
sick bet. After a semester’s worth of emails and daily texts, I’m sure that’s not. It’s real.
I have my first time all mapped out in my head. I have since I was thirteen. Candles. Rose petals. The perfect guy. Not a romp in the back of a van somewhere like Ciara Skanley during our sophomore year. She bragged about that for weeks. I want my moment to be perfect. Maybe that’s why I’m the last virgin in Seaside, but that will change soon. Very soon. And after last night, I can’t get Dane out of my head.
My chest is still racing just thinking about the conversation we had. Dane is the one. He was my first kiss and my soon to be first everything else. I stand next to my mirror, staring at my baggy pajama top. I’m not exactly the type of girl he’s used to. His ex, Paige’s friend Maggie, is a foot taller than me with liquid gold for skin. I run my fingers through my dark locks and take a long breath.
A loud knock followed by a ringing doorbell startles me.
“Aunt Scar!”
No answer.
“Are you up?” Guess not.
I roll my eyes, jogging to the front door and unbolting the lock. The coffee table is cluttered with magazines and used teacups from this past week. Today is mine and Scarlett’s cleaning day, but I’m in too much of a daze to do chores. And I have to pack. I don’t have anything sexy. Not like the lace nighties, girls wear on TV. Is it too late to get one of those?
“Mikki Copelun?” A tall police officer stares right at me when I open the front door. I bite the side of my lip.
“Yes,” I gulp.
“Are you Mikki Copelun?”
“That’s me.” My chest feels heavy. No. Please don’t say there’s been an accident. “Is something wrong, Officer?”
“Yes,” the officer responds. “If you don’t mind I have a few questions for you.”
“Um.” My eyes dart to the sofa just beyond the doorway. “Do you want to come in?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “This won’t take long.” He hasn’t smiled once. My head starts spinning.
“Okay.” This is my first conversation with an actual police officer that involves more than a ‘hello sir’. It isn’t going so well.
“Can you tell me where you were last night?”
My chest freezes and I feel a bit faint.
“Just relax Miss Copelun.” He responds by lowering his voice, so it sounds slightly more friendly. “It’s only a question. Where were you last night?”
“I was with my Aunt Scarlett at the Haskell’s place. She catered their event last night. Well, sort of. I was one of the servers.”
“What time did you leave the Haskell residence?”
“I don’t know.” My mind jumps back to Dane’s deep, entrancing eyes. The way he grabbed me and pulled me into his muscly arms. I can feel my breathing getting heavier and heavier. “Midnight maybe?” Quit lying, Mikki. He’s a police officer. “Or earlier? I can’t remember the exact time.”
“And you came straight home?”
The truth, Mikki! The truth.
“Yes,” I quickly answer. No. Dane and I went to Riptide Park.
“And at the Haskell’s last night,” he continued. “Did you speak with Dane?” More heavy breaths.
“No,” I swallow. “I didn’t even see him.”
“You’re sure?”
I raise my eyebrows and rub the side of my shoulder. “Does it matter?” I reply. “What’s with all the questions anyway? I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“It is very important that I know what was said,” the officer goes on.
“Why?” I don’t see how it’s any of his business. The things Dane said to me last night, the things we planned, those are private. There’s no way I’m discussing my sex life with the Seaside Police Department.
“Because Miss Copelun,” the officer says, raising his voice. “According to an eyewitness, you were the last person to see Dane Haskell before he was reported missing.”
Chapter Eight
“. . . lying dead somewhere.”
I don’t understand it. My chest sinks. This chair is uncomfortable, and I can feel bruises forming along my back. Scarlett drove me to the police station after I received a call to come in for more questioning. She insisted on staying with me during the interrogation. My mind is having trouble focusing. I can't believe that Dane is missing.
“Mikki?”
I sit up straight and fold my arms.
“Sorry,” I reply. “What was the question?”
“Dane,” the officer goes on. The sound of his name makes my jaw clench. Pressure builds behind my eyes. “Did he mention anyone last night? Any comments about being in trouble or trying to avoid someone?”
“Uh . . .” I swallow. “Not that I recall.”
“Is there anyone you can think of that might want to hurt him?”
What kind of question is that? Who would want to hurt Dane? He’s done nothing wrong. Nothing at all.
“No,” I answer. The officer raises his eyebrow and nods. He seems a bit annoyed by my one-word responses.
“Okay.” He jots a few things down on a piece of paper. “Moving on. Can you list any other friends in town he might have talked with yesterday?” My mind draws a blank.
“Well, he has a sister . . . Paige.”
“Yes,” the officer replies. “She already came in.”
“Of course,” I mutter. I rub my fingers together and stare at the gray floor tiles. I bet they used to be white. I lean forward slightly and push back the moisture in my eye sockets. I can’t cry here. I won’t be able to stop.
I wipe the corner of my eye and try to think. I don’t know. I don’t know who his friends are nowadays. The tears are beating at the back of my skull. I can’t answer a single question about him. A tear escapes. I instantly wipe it away.
“It’s alright. Take your time.” The officer adjusts the buttons on his uniform.
“I’m fine,” I lie. “And the answer is no. I don’t know who he might have talked to. You see, we aren’t friends. We aren’t anything. I hardly know him.”
“Well, his family did seem very surprised that you two were seen together. What were you two talking about?”
“Oh uh . . .” Think of something. Quick. The sooner I answer, the sooner I can go home and bury myself in pillows. “I was supposed to be a server at his homecoming party. I just wanted to know what happened. I was counting on that extra money.”
“Okay.” He nods his head as if satisfied with the explanation. I take a deep breath. The tears are dying down. It’s working. Pretending that there’s nothing between us is working. “I think I have everything I need.”
“Um . . .” I hesitate to stand. “Just wondering. Who reported him missing?” I tug a strand of hair. I can’t believe he’s gone. It can’t be true. I’m being messed with. But he hasn’t responded to any of my texts.
“His dad of course. He insisted we launch an investigation at once though our policy is to wait a little longer. Mr. Haskell is very persuasive.”
I pull at my hair even harder, remembering the last thing Dane did say to me. He had to leave because of his dad. Did he even make it home? My vision starts to go blurry. The tears are back.
“Mikki.” Aunt Scarlett softly takes my arm. “Can she go now?”
“I’ll be in touch.” The officer escorts us back to the lobby. Scarlett puts her arm around me, rubbing the side of my shoulder.
“Don’t worry,” she whispers. “No one blames you. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She pushes open the door and lets in a subtle breeze. The sun is shining. The street is bustling with cars and pedestrians, but for me, life seems to have slowed down. I keep my mouth shut, half expecting Scar to blow up about me being out so late without her knowing. She doesn’t.
“So you’re not mad?” I ask, opening the car door. She shrugs.
“What can I say? You’re eighteen now.”
“I’m sorry,” I respond. I close my eyes and try to force back tears. “You think . . . y
ou think he’s okay?”
“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s a Haskell.”
“Yeah but . . .” I loudly swallow. My chest feels like it’s been strapped to an enormous anchor. “You don’t think he’s . . . lying dead somewhere?”
“Of course not,” she breathes. “Don’t say stuff like that. He probably got drunk after what happened to Matt and fell asleep at the park or something.” A possible explanation that I could have believed. That wasn’t the case at all because Dane wasn't drunk when I saw him. “Anyway, why don’t we talk about something else?”
“Like what?” I glance down at my phone. Still nothing.
“How’s school going? You start that internship stuff on Monday right?”
“Yep,” I reply. This is the last thing I want to talk about. Come Monday I will be reminded of last night over and over again. Why does my internship have to be in the Banley Building of all places?
“Geez, I sound like my mom.” Scarlett shakes her head. “You probably would rather me shut up huh?”
“I want to go home and go to my room.”
“I understand,” she says quietly. Our drive home is silent minus a weather update on the radio.
This is all my fault. For once, I should have just said yes. I should have run away with Dane the moment he suggested it. I should have followed my heart. Blindly.
* * *
“Let’s go out.” Zanna is sitting at the foot of my bed like an eager puppy. I haven’t moved for hours. My muscles are all stiff. If I move now, that will be more painful than staying exactly where I am.
“Who let you in here?”
“Scarlett said you could use some cheering up,” she replies.
“Scarlett should mind her own business.”
“She’s right,” Zanna agrees. I glare at her. She never agrees with my Aunt Scarlett.
“This time,” she adds.
“My world is falling apart,” I mutter. Zanna tries to pull away my comforter. I’d buried myself in my bed with my cell phone next to my face. Maybe he will call? Text?
