She drew back. “I have good reason to misjudge you when it comes to kids. As far as Teal is concerned, she was adamant you talked about us publicly. It would be easy to check.”
“The only thing I've ever said about you was when you first came to town I mistakenly bragged how easy it would be to get a contract with a woman on the opposite side of the table. I did overdo it, I guess, and Teal was present a couple of times. Hell, Dana, that was just shop talk. I didn't even know you. Since we've become friends, I haven't mentioned your name once.”
He ran his fingers through her hair, lifted her chin, and kissed her softly on the mouth, running his moist tongue under her lips. His sweet breath and natural scent made her body ache for him. The attraction was perilous, but she didn’t care. She wanted to feel his body touching hers, his lips exploring every inch of her.
When the kiss ended, dazed, she drew back. When she focused, she studied him, his thick blond eyebrows, the slight bump on his nose, the devilish twinkle in his eyes.
“I'm going. I want you to sleep on this. I'll call you tomorrow.” For a brief moment, after he'd gone, she felt bereft, empty. How could he let her go the moment she needed him most? Again, thoughts of his leaving permanently crossed her mind. When would she put two and two together and realize their relationship was temporary. She had to stop thinking he might stay and all would end well. She allowed the tears to flow down her cheeks. Oh God, she loved him and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
Saturday morning Dana dressed, straightened her apartment, and made four telephone calls. First, she called her neighbor to take care of Michael for a few hours, and then she called Teal to tell her that she’d like to come over and discuss her activities in Templeton. Then she told her mother she’d come by and fill her in about her trip to San Jose. Last, but not least, she called Patrick to tell him that she'd like to see him later that afternoon.
The temperature in Ashton soared, as it always did just before the coastal cold front moved in, bringing the onslaught of bone chilling cold and tulle fog. Dana pulled up in front of Teal's condominium and cut the ignition. Following a few moments of organizing her thoughts, she got out into the heat.
On her stroll up the winding cobblestone walkway, she planned her meeting with Teal. Taking a few moments to marshal her courage, Dana observed her friend's extravagant digs. No wonder she was so desperate to keep her job. The roof had rust-colored tiles like Dana's old home in Palo Alto and an off-white stucco exterior framed in dark bucolic wood. Lush red and pink bougainvillea clung to the walls over two-thirds of the building.
The wrought-iron gate creaked open. She strolled through the courtyard, in awe of the array of roses in full bloom, painted ladies feeding on blossoms. An agitated blue jay screeched from a dogwood next to her porch.
Teal waited in the open doorway with a cup of coffee in her hand. After four months, Dana still hadn’t gotten used to Teal’s new look. She remembered a girl with mousy black hair, pale skin, no makeup, and clothes from the thrift shop. Not this artfully made-up, knockout of a blonde, with her hair curled and piled loosely on her head, wearing vermilion silk lounging pajamas that clung to her tall, slim figure.
“Good morning, cookie,” Teal warbled as if nothing were wrong. “Coffee?”
“No thanks.” The beauty and coolness struck her immediately as she entered the dark, elegant apartment.
“No hug?” Teal acknowledged the snub with a slight toss of her head.
Dana let out a long exasperated breath, reached out and with a light embrace gave Teal an air kiss. Compared to her place, Teal had ensconced herself in the lap of luxury.
“Like it?”
“I see why you don't want to leave.”
“I've worked damn hard for this.” She set her cup on the heavy wood coffee table.
“I did it all myself.” She puffed up her chest as a gesture of pride. “Neither of my loser ex-husbands had anything to do with it. I have no intentions of giving any of it up.”
Dana turned to face Teal. “I can see why you love it so much.”
“I'd do anything…anything to keep it.”
Dana guarded her tone, not wanting to sound accusatory. “Even come into the hospital and hold meetings on the units?”
“You've heard?”
“The minute I got home. Why? Don't you know what this means to us? To our friendship?” Her anger rose. Her resolve to handle Teal diplomatically washed away like the ocean in an estuary at low tide.
“You're coming on strong over such a little thing.”
“Little thing? You've turned the whole hospital upside down. Patrick and I are starting mediation Monday, and now this is hanging over our heads.”
“This'll bring your mediation to a head.” Teal grabbed Dana's hand and led her to the couch. “Sit! Listen to me.”
Dana pulled herself free and defiantly folded her arms across her chest.
“You would have been so proud of Annie, your little assistant. She hustled right up to the Operating Room with a guard in tow and trucked me right outta there with not so much as a thank you, how are you, or kiss my ass.” Teal roared and slapped her thigh as if this whole mess were a big joke.
Dana broke into a smile, picturing Ann and the guard hauling the fiery DeLuca out of a meeting with the nurses gaping.
“You’ve trained Ann well. From what Patrick used to tell me, she practically hid from him
when he went to the units without permission.”
Teal got up and prowled her spacious living room without a trace of guilt or a need for recompense. She made light of going where she didn’t belong, as if she believed that what she did was funnier than outright wrong.
“You know if Gil or Patrick presses me, it could ruin your chance for an election. You could even put your career on hold for a while.” She unfolded her arms, glancing around. “Then what would you do about all this and your job? I said you could use the cafeteria. That was all. The units are off limits and you know it.”
“How do you know I wasn't just visiting a patient? Maybe I should explain a few things before you pop anymore blood vessels.”
“You know, I thought we were friends. I trusted you. You're taking advantage of our friendship and you don't even give a damn.”
“Oh, give me a break. You're as much a survivor as I am. If you were in my shoes, you'd have done the same damn thing.” Teal came to Dana’s side, taking her hands. “Look, girlfriend. I’m desperate.” She glanced around her apartment. “This is my life. I can't lose it. Don't you understand?” Tears rose in her eyes. “I'm so damned scared I’d do just about anything to hang onto what I've got.”
“Including lying about Patrick spreading rumors about us? Or playing on my fear of losing a man again? Honestly, you disgust me. ” She pulled her hands from Teal’s.
“I couldn’t help myself. I thought you two were in cahoots, going to settle things outside the hospital. Happens, you know.” She wiped under her eyes with her fingers. “I knew I was wrong going up on the floors, but I took the chance. I thought you understood how desperate I was, that you'd forgive me for one little indiscretion.” She leaned closer to Dana. “I must get PNA out and two eighty-one in. If I pull it off, I keep my job and my home. Don't you see? If I were in Templeton, negotiations would be a breeze for both of us. We could work together.”
“No, we couldn't.” She felt betrayed. Teal, so consumed with fear over material things, had lost all perspective. She had put Dana’s job in jeopardy and probably all likelihood Teal’s chances of ever getting into Templeton. The pain she experienced watching her friend act so desperately rattled her nerves. So many times in the past she’d reached out to Teal and tried to save her from doing things that she knew were only going to hurt her. Now Teal was hell-bent on doing everything her own way and Dana could do nothing to help her. Teal had used her and Dana had to reconcile that fact. Their friendship as they knew it was over.
“The one chance I had of making any
headway was to get to the night shift. I did it. I know I shouldn't have, but it's done now. Why don't you let it go?” She went to her breakfront and pulled open the drawer. “See.” She waved a thick stack of three by five cards in the air. “These are employees signed up for an election. They like me. I can get the rest in a week. Legitimately. Don't block me,” she said with a tortured expression on her face. “I won't break another rule.” She raised her hand in the air. “Promise. Everything will be on the up and up right down to the wire. You know you can handle Gil. Hell, he'll do anything for you. And Patrick? I guess I don't have to paint a picture.”
“What exactly do you mean by that remark?”
“Oh, hell, I know how he feels about you. You've got him eating out of your hand. I don't have to remind you how you feel about him.”
Dana grabbed her purse and headed for the door. “This little get-together is over. We'll let the chips fall where they may regarding an election at Templeton.”
“Does that mean you'll back off and let me finish what I've started?”
“That'll be up to the other players.”
“You won't defend me in this?”
“I can't. Don't you understand? If Patrick pushes, I have to do follow-up.”
“One word from you, and I promise your little trysts with his nibs will be bigger news than you can handle. You'll have a helluva time proving you didn't give me permission.”
The tone in Teal's voice sent a chill down Dana's spine. Teal acted differently now - brash, and with less fear than she expressed previously. “What has happened to you?”
“Nada, honey. I've grown up while you were away. Been knocked around too many times.” Her hands were on her hips. “Don't act like I'm the only one who's ever taken advantage of you. What about that fancy ex-old man of yours? Seems to me his only interest is in Number One, doesn't give a damn what he does to you.”
“Leave Joel out of this.”
“Gladly, just don't get in my way. Your career depends on it.”
Ranting, Teal was like a stranger standing before her. “I hope I never have to stoop to your level to save my job. It wouldn't be worth it.” On the way out, she slammed the door behind her.
Hands shaking, heart pounding, tears stinging her eyes, she slid into her Toyota and drove off to her mother's. The hateful expression distorting Teal's face lingered in Dana’s mind.
Not wanting to be a glutton for more punishment, she pulled over to the curb, picked up her cell phone, and called her mother to cancel their meeting. Enough! Her mother didn’t answer, and the machine wasn’t turned-on to take a message. Dana drove home, promising to call her later and apologize.
Dana and Michael waited for Patrick to come by and take them for ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. Patrick had called and wanted to talk more about their problems and see Michael again. She sat at the kitchen table with Michael while he built an intricate army tank with Tinker Toys. She dreamed about the day when all her troubles were resolved, and she could live a normal life again. What had she done to cause her myriad of problems? Was it unfair for Joel to take responsibility of his debts and pay more child support? Had she been unreasonable for not helping an old friend, even if it were a conflict of interest? Why in God's name did her mother have to be so remote and selfish since Dana's father died? Daddy had left her mother financially comfortable. She could have remarried. But she couldn't redo anything.
Patrick's knock at the door rescued her from her negative thoughts. Michael charged ahead of her. He hadn’t seen Patrick since the night Teal unexpectedly came by. He yanked the door open and leapt into Patrick's arms. Seeing Michael so happy tugged at Dana. In the short time he and Patrick had spent together, they’d developed a strong bond. Perhaps, too strong.
“No ice cream.”
Michael's chin dropped.
“I've changed our plans.” He put Michael down and took Dana's hand. “Since you finished your business earlier than expected, I thought it’d be more fun to go on a picnic at Shaver Lake.”
Michael broke into a smile
“It's a mere hour away. I've picked up chicken, salad and the works. I've got a cooler full of cold drinks. What do you say?”
“Sounds wonderful.” A glorious feeling of happiness swept through her. Her negative thoughts melted away in the presence of this warm, caring man. She might have to change her life for him, if all the stars were in the right places. The stars weren't and she mustn't.
A picnic by the lake. How could he have known she needed a day like this day? She hadn’t been to Shaver since she was fourteen, on a picnic since she was eight. Michael experienced the same joy and excitement she felt. His grin matched hers.
Michael jumped up and down. “Boy, oh, boy. Lake.” He clapped his hands and shut his eyes. She reveled in his happiness. Dana's heart contracted at the sight.
She watched Patrick, pondering their future. Forever is as long as it lasts.
“How about it?” A question he didn’t have to ask with all the excitement radiating throughout the cozy little room.
“Wonderful. Can I bring anything?”
“You and Michael are all I need.”
Those seven little words clanged in her head. Say what? Change the subject. Quick!
He’d slipped. She could tell by the surprised expression on his face. Rescue him, dummy.
“Let's get on our way before we lose the afternoon.”
The ride through the winding, narrow roads through the pines, dogwoods and thick, lush green ferns gave Dana a second wind. For an entire afternoon, she could pack up all her worries and let herself go. Nothing could spoil her fun. She felt young again, out on a date with a guy, who, with a smile or a wink, made her feel she as though she were nine feet off the ground.
At the entrance to Edison Campgrounds, past the small village of Shaver, Patrick paid the day fee, and they drove down next to the lake. Dana spread a blanket out on a bed of dried pine needles under a lofty redwood. She placed a red and white checked tablecloth on the picnic table. Then, after letting out a deep, relaxed breath, she sat watching while Patrick and Michael went to the water's edge, drawing lines in the sand with driftwood sticks.
The bright sun dappled the water. Having a man taking an interest in her son made her feel the three of them were a family. Watching them caper on the beach brought her happiness. If only a man like Patrick had been Michael's father, her life would have been perfect. Too bad their friendship had to remain a secret, and they could only share a few stolen moments such as this. As soon as negotiations ended, Patrick would be leaving for New York. Dana returned from her musing when she realized he’d spoken to her. “I'm sorry.” He stood tall, broad shouldered, a new contentment on his ruddy face. The breeze ruffled his blond hair. “I didn't hear what you said.”
Patrick squatted down next to her, his knee joint cracked. “I said, Miss Daydreamer, why don't we go over to the pier and rent a boat. Do a little fishing. Come on.” He pulled her up from her comfortable position on the blanket, drawing her to his chest.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Michael admiring the fishing poles leaning against the car. She gazed into Patrick's eyes. The very air around her seemed electrified. He moved his face within a few inches of hers.
“You wouldn't."
His eyes gleamed with a devilish sparkle. “Dare me?”
“No…yes.”
He tightened his grip around her waist and brushed her lips with a kiss.
“Come on. Let's go before I throw you down on this blanket and do something, yada yada, yada…” He released her.
She grinned. “Dirty old man!”
Michael laughed, squealed and jumped around for the entire twenty minutes it took to get to the dock and rent a boat and for Patrick to secure him into the little aluminum seat at the bow. Michael had never been so happy and excited. Reacting to everything she or Patrick did lifted her spirits to heights she hadn’t experienced in years.
“Teach…fish,” Michael d
emanded.
“As soon as we get out on the water, we're going over the basics. You'll be a pro in no time, lad.” Patrick talked to Michael the same as any normal boy his age.
Dana folded a blanket behind her, and laid back to catch a few rays while Patrick taught Michael to fish. The motor sputtered, the water lapped the side of the boat, and Dana sank into a blissful moment of peace with her eyes closed.
“Ouch!” Michael stuck his finger with a hook. Dana cracked open an eye.
“Let me see that.” Patrick took Michael's little hand in his. “Just a scratch.” He ruffled the boy's hair, then took a clean rag from his tackle box and dabbed antiseptic on the punctured finger.
Michael looked up at Patrick, his eyes filled with admiration. A smile returned to Michael's face when Patrick scooped up a piece of orange Power Bait with his index finger and showed Michael how to wrap a neat little fish ball around the shiny hook.
“Now just sit quiet,” Patrick whispered. “We'll troll until we catch something.”
“Twoll?”
“Barely moving, so we don't disturb the fish. Trout take the bait better when it's moving.”
“Oh,” Michael whispered back, staring down into the deep green water.
* * *
Later, Patrick's gaze roamed over to Dana, lying back against her blanket, her eyes closed behind her oversized sunglasses. How beautiful. Her hair tousled from the breeze, her skin lightly tanned and shiny from suntan oil. Life’s a bitch and then you die.
They shared a mutual attraction but didn’t have time on their side.Her strength across the
table accentuated her vulnerability and warmth away from work. She had all of the qualities he always wanted in a woman. Even Michael's autism wasn’t a problem for him. If anything, it increased the love he had for the boy. He believed with the right guidance and love, Michael could eventually lead a near-normal life. He'd seen autistic children before, and Michael wasn’t nearly as bad as some he’d seen. That Michael responded to him with such open affection and trust touched his heart to the depths.
Conflicts of the Heart Page 17
