by Ward, H. M.
When Collin saw Ivy, he straightened and Nicole stopped dancing. She turned, looking to see what shocked him and laughed, “Oh, the nerd. Who knew, right?” Nicole leaned in, pressing her swollen lips to his ear, kissing him gently and said, “Total slut.”
Collin stared at Ivy, watching another guy do what he couldn’t do—what he wanted to do. For a moment he thought she seemed happy. There was no sadness in her eyes. She looked at the guy in a way that made his lungs feel like they’d been crushed. Collin started moving again, dancing slowly with Nicole, but he couldn’t look away from Ivy. He’d been sitting next to her less than three hours ago. She was demure, the epitome of shyness.
Collin finally asked Nicole, “Who’s the guy?”
Nicole stopped, irritated and looked up at him. She kept her arms linked around his waist. A dark gold eyebrow arched. “Does she smell like the beach, too? Awh, poor Collin.” Nicole laughed. “Little Miss Thang has been felt up by a different guy every night this week. Her standards seem a little lacking, if you ask me, but then she is kind of plain.” Nicole watched his face as Collin stared past the beautiful woman in his arms and at Ivy. Nicole’s voice darkened, as if she realized something. “Did you have sex with her? Is that why you’re staring like that?”
But Collin didn’t hear her. He stood transfixed, watching the girl he thought he knew melt away. Ivy kissed the guy so hard, it looked like she thought she’d die if she stopped. His hand remained under her shirt, grasping her under her thin top. Collin couldn’t stand it. He was about to walk out, and leave Nicole standing there without another thought when he saw something. The guy’s other hand inched higher, moving between Ivy’s legs, creeping up beneath her skirt. Collin froze. He didn’t want to see this, but part of him wanted to know if she’d let the guy do it. Her skirt was so short, there wasn’t far for his hand to go before he’d touch her there.
Ivy broke the kiss, sucking in air, seemingly shocked. Collin could heard her say, “No, don’t.” But the guy didn’t stop. He pressed his hand higher under the hem of her skirt. Ivy tried to squirm away from him, but he held her down, wrapping his other arm around her, keeping her on his lap. He whispered in her ear, kissing her neck. Collin could see Ivy’s spine straighten. She started to relax again, but when the guy’s hand moved she yelled, “STOP!” She tried to squirm out of his arms.
The music was blaring so loud that no one else noticed. Collin shoved Nicole aside, and was across the room in the blink of an eye. He moved so fast that one moment he was with Nicole, the next he had his hands around the guy’s throat. Ivy gasped when she recognized Collin and realized what he was doing. Collin took the guy by the neck, after pulling Ivy off his lap, and growled, “She said no.” He tossed him back like he was nothing. The boy’s back hit the wall, as he staggered, too drunk to stand up.
Ivy clung to Collin’s arm, trying to hold herself up. He turned and looked down at her. “You’re drunk. Shit, Ivy.” The music pulsated around them. Before Nicole could get to him, Collin dragged Ivy outside. She shivered as they moved from the warm house to the chilly evening air.
She clung to his arm, barely able to stand. She smiled at him, “What are you doing here? I’ve never seen you at one of these before.” By one of these she meant a drug, beer, and sex infested rave.
His blue eyes were dangerously dark. He stared at her face. Collin shook his head, not answering her question. These were the perfect kind of parties to feed at. There were so many drugs and alcohol that no one suspected him or Nicole of anything. It simply looked like the person overdosed and died. No one would even begin to think that the death was from having their soul extracted from their body. Collin hated places like this, but Nicole... he had to get her off his back. He had to hide his feelings for Ivy, and rushing across a crowded room and leaving Nicole in the dust wasn’t the way to do it.
“Fuck,” he growled, anger flowing thickly from his tense body. He snapped at Ivy, “How long have you been coming to these?”
She shrugged. “What’s it matter? What does anything matter anymore? One day you’re here, and the next you’re not. There’s no point.” Her pupils were wide, orbs of solid black nearly drowning out all the brown.
He pushed her hair out of her face, and held her cheeks in his hands. Ivy blinked slowly at him. “Did you take something?” When he first approached her, Collin thought she was drunk, but now he didn’t now. She seemed more doped up than anything else. “Ivy, what’d you take?”
She smiled softly at him, her fingers wrapping around his strong wrists, “Nothing. I didn’t take anything. That boy gave me a beer, that’s all. I’ve been with him all night.” Collin released her face, clutching her shoulders so she wouldn’t fall over. She could see the anger seep into his eyes. Collin fought hard to remain in control. He was seething, nearly shaking with rage, but if his eyes rimmed scarlet now... He blinked once, hard, and then looked back at Ivy.
She had started speaking in that slow, easy way that was the tell-tale sign that she was drugged. She shook her head again slowly. A lazy smile spread across her lips and she giggled. “They offered me some, but I said no. I swear, Collin. Don’t be mad.”
He arched an eyebrow at her. Collin wasn’t mad at her, but he didn’t like this. He knew he couldn’t protect her from everything, but this seemed preventable and it pissed him off. “Someone slipped you something. Ivy, never eat or drink anything at one of these parties unless you opened it yourself.” He looked down into her face. Her eyes were transfixed on his lips. His stomach clenched. Why couldn’t she look at me like that when she was sober? “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
CHAPTER SIX
Collin walked Ivy to the backdoor of her house. She fumbled in her purse looking for keys that she didn’t seem to have. Collin looked at the windows in the darkened home. “Where’s your mom?”
Ivy glanced up at him, the trace of a faint smile fading from her lips. She blinked slowly at him, and took way too long to answer such a simple question. “Not here. She works nights. It’s just me.” Ivy seemed to forget what she was doing. She stood there looking up at Collin. The moonlight rimmed his dark hair like a halo. His eyes were the color of the midnight sky, dark and dangerous.
“Keys?” Collin prompted, knowing she forgot what she was doing.
Ivy flinched, as if she were startled and started digging through her purse again. Collin surmised that she didn’t have the keys. Her bag was way too small for them to be hidden in there. But he watched her, waiting for her to discover it. When she did, Ivy looked up at him. She turned to the glass door and giggled. “I remember where my keys are.” Her finger extended toward the door. Collin moved past her and peered inside. There on the countertop was a set of silver keys.
Collin groaned. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if he wasn’t a Valefar and Ivy wasn’t wasted, but he wasn’t lucky like that. Now he’d have to shove her through a window. He looked at the upper story of the house. Ivy’s window was cracked open. He could see her curtains billowing in the light breeze.
“Come on. I’ll help hoist you up. But if you fall off the roof, I swear to God...” he stopped talking and turned back to find Ivy sitting on an oversized chaise. She had kicked off her boots and curled onto her side, sinking deeply into the cushion. The hem of her skirt showed off the curve of her smooth legs. Silky brown hair cascaded over her shoulders. He’d never seen it like that before, straight. Her hair looked like a sheet of glass.
Ivy’s eyes were like endless pits of sorrow. The darkness within her seemed to surface, reflecting softly in the moonlight. She tilted her head back, looking up at him. “I haven’t slept since she died. I stare at the ceiling all night, seeing Apryl’s face, thinking she’ll ring the bell any moment. She can’t be dead. She can’t be... but she is. They’re sure.” Her voice was bleak. While she was speaking her hands floated up, and gripped the sides of her head, “I can’t stand it Collin.”
He hesitated, knowing he should leave, but unable to. Nicole
knew without a doubt now that Collin cared about her. The way he acted spoke volumes. That was going to be difficult to fix. It put Ivy in danger, more danger because of him. Collin’s body tensed as indecision rocked him. His lips smashed together into a hard line as Ivy’s wide dark eyes watched him. Childlike hope was strewn across her face. Collin couldn’t leave.
Ivy turned, looking away from him. Moonlight touched her face softly, highlighting the curve of her cheek. Ivy sighed deeply, before turning her dark gaze on his. Their eyes locked. Collin felt like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. He stood there frozen.
She whispered, “That’s why I was there. That’s why I went. It was the only way to escape.” The last words were barely audible, but Collin was a Valefar. The demon blood that flowed through his veins made it easy to hear her.
The hollow helplessness in her voice undid him. Guilt seeped through every ounce of his body. He did this to her. He stripped away the person she was and left her in unbearable pain. Collin pressed his fingers to his eyes, rubbing them gently.
Ivy patted the small space next to her on the chaise. “Sit. Tell me what’s wrong.” Without hesitating, Collin did as she asked. He removed his dark jacket and draped it over a chair. When he walked toward Ivy, she scooted over slightly and he lowered himself next to her, laying down so he could see her face. Normally he couldn’t talk to her. He couldn’t tell her what was bothering him, or anything about his life. But like this, Ivy wouldn’t remember. Collin’s gaze lingered on her lips before returning to her dark eyes. Black was smudged around them, more than usual, with long dark lashes the color of night. He could feel her light breaths slide across his skin as she breathed.
Surprising himself, he answered, “There’s someone I care about deeply... and I hurt her.” He swallowed hard, watching her eyes. His hands were in front of his waist, between their bodies, not touching. His fingers clenched tightly as he spoke. “She has no idea it was me.”
Ivy’s gaze remained on Collin’s. “It sounds like you love her. Who would have thought, Collin Smith in love.” She rolled onto her back and stared at the sky. Taking a deep breath, she asked, “Have you told her? That you love her?” Collin propped himself up onto one arm. His dark shirt clung to his chest. Blue eyes looked down at the girl lying next to him. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to touch her, and hold her against him. He could feel his resolve slipping away as her gaze lingered, locking their eyes together.
“No,” he whispered. “She doesn’t feel like that about me. And telling her would only complicate things.” His words were the truth, and they rushed out softly. Is that what he thought? That Ivy didn’t feel like that about him? Looking at her now, he was certain that she didn’t feel like that about him. There were so many times where she could have said something, did something—but she remained were she was—only seeing him as a friend. And it killed him. It was agony to have her so close and not touch her.
Silence followed the confession, until Ivy whispered, “Anything worth having is complicated, Collin.” A shallow breath filled her lungs. Ivy was confident, saying things she wouldn’t remember when the sun spilled over the horizon. Her pink lips parted as she drew in another breath. Her heart raced inside her chest, but she didn’t know why. Collin could hear it quicken within her. She’d wanted to ease her pain with gentle kisses. He could give her that. Rational thoughts fell away, as his eyes remained locked with hers. Ivy’s lips were parted slightly, as if she were waiting for him to kiss her. The pull inside him increased, and Collin could feel his body drawing closer to hers, leaning closer. His lips lining up with hers. She was so close. The words left her lips like a sigh, “Tell her you love her.”
With every ounce of restraint, he stopped. Her words made him realize what he was doing, that he was taking something he couldn’t have. If he truly cared about her, he wouldn’t do this. If he loved her, he shouldn’t do this. His stomach sank. Collin leaned back, putting more distance between them. He drew a deep breath into his lungs and answered, knowing she would forget, “No. I can’t tell her. I won’t do that to her. I’m a monster, Ivy. She deserves so much more...”
But Ivy didn’t let him finish. She interrupted, “No, Collin, you’re not. Your eyes say you believe you are, but they also say something else...”
His breath caught in his throat. Collin couldn’t look away. He couldn’t move. His gaze was captured by hers. Desperation coursed through his body and he had to know what she meant, “What?”
Ivy reached for him, closing the gap between them by putting her small warm hands on his cheeks and pulling him to her. “That you’re hopelessly in love... with me.” Collin was lost in her dark gaze, as she spoke. Ivy’s gaze never left his, which made her words even harder to ignore. Even drugged, she could see things that seemed hazy to Collin. She knew. She knew how he felt about her. And her hands were on his face, drawing him to her. Their lips came together, brushing softly as Ivy kissed him. When his lips pressed against hers, elation and dread collided. The kiss was so soft. So perfect. He didn’t want it to end, but he couldn’t do this to her. There was no future for them, and his affection for her would only endanger her, and the scent of her soul was intoxicating, making it harder for him to pull away.
As Ivy’s lips pressed against his, she didn’t think about anything. She just saw the lost look in Collin’s eyes and wanted to make him feel better. She felt bold, more certain of herself than normal. As she pressed her lips to his, she didn’t expect the burst of butterflies that filled her stomach. She didn’t expect him to softly kiss her back. The kiss lingered with desire strong enough to ignite into something more, each of them hesitant to take it further. Warmth rushed over her body. This kiss was nothing like the others she’d had, but Ivy didn’t know why. She sensed Collin’s body stiffen, as if she shouldn’t be touching him. She waited for him to do something; wrap his arms around her, deepen the kiss—something, but he didn’t. He didn’t part his lips and kiss her deeper, tasting her the way she wanted. Cold dread pooled inside her when she realized that she might have been wrong. Maybe he hadn’t been talking about her. Ivy brushed her lips against his one last time, but Collin was like stone in her arms.
She backed away, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...” Her face turned bright red, covered in the sweetest blush he’d ever seen.
He wanted to take her up in his arms and kiss her deeply, making her blush for different reasons, but he couldn’t. Mentally, Collin cursed himself for allowing her to kiss him. Everything about her made him desire her more. His feelings for Ivy were so far beyond platonic, but she didn’t see it. The confidence that she had faded, as he did what he always did and hid his feelings for her, concealing his desire to know her better.
This was a mistake, so he steeled himself, forcing his voice to remain cold, “No, I suppose not,” he answered. It killed him to say it and watch her take in his words. It seemed cruel, but it was necessary. They pulled away from each other. Collin’s lips remained parted as he watched her rise, his eyes sliding over her narrow, bare waist and onto the curve of her hips. He sprang up and tore his gaze from her body, trying to remove the impure thoughts from his mind. He couldn’t have her. And this, whatever this was, wasn’t really Ivy. This was a drug-induced bit of passion that would be forgotten.
As soon as Ivy was on her feet, she grabbed her purse and walked slowly toward the door. She wrapped her fingers around the knob and pushed it opened. Stopping on the threshold, she looked back at him. Collin’s dark hair hung in his eyes. His beauty was hypnotic. “I didn’t lock it when I left,” she said. The effects of the drug had begun to dissipate as they laid next to each other. The mild floating sensation was much better, although Ivy still felt woozy. That was when she remembered the door. The keys were on the counter because she ran out the front door without locking up. She held the knob in her hand, refusing to meet his eye. Collin stood there, watching her, lungs constricted tightly so he could barely breathe. She disappeared into th
e house without another word.
CHAPTER SEVEN
School the next day was interesting. Ivy was absent from her locker, but he saw her moving through the hallways, going to classes. That was better than she had been doing. He felt horrible for kissing her last night, and Nicole showed him no mercy. She more than suspected that Collin was interested in Ivy after the way he acted last night. The first thing he noticed when he arrived at school that morning were large black letters scrolled across her locker VIRGIN.
He stopped, jaw slightly opened and stared at it. He expected Nicole to launch a slut campaign against the girl, not go the other way around. Before he had a chance to think about it, Nicole slipped her arm around his shoulder, and whispered into his ear, “You always had a thing for virgins, didn’t you?”
Collin’s shoulders stiffened as he turned toward her. Nicole’s golden hair was pulled high into a ponytail with the long tresses falling softly on her shoulders. A white top clung to her curves, accented by another short skirt. He wanted to growl at her, but he hid his anger. “Maybe,” he smirked, hoping it was construed as playful. He needed to get Nicole off Ivy’s back. He continued, “There’s something about them that’s alluring. The newness of it all. Ya know?” He smiled at her.
She laughed, “Are you saying I’m used goods? Because the last time we were together, that isn’t what you said at all. Or do you need a reminder?” Her words were like thorns, pointed and full of venom.
He flashed a smile at her, before pulling her to him. Nicole’s mean smile twisted into a smirk. “It’s not what you think Niki. I don’t share. That’s all it was.” Her stare remained cold, so he added, “I could go for a reminder.” His voice was deep, his eyes lingering on her low neckline before returning to her face. “You know me, Nicole. You know that I take who I want, when I want. And if you want that to be you, then you can’t lash out at every perfectly sculpted ass that turns my head.”
