by Debby Mayne
God, why did this have to happen? Now what?
❧
The second Kim closed the door behind her, she leaned against it and tilted her head upward. Lord, what do You want me to do? I’m angry at David, and I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why it’s so important to leave—especially now that we’re supposed to be planning our life together.
Guilt flooded her as she straightened and plodded toward her bedroom to change into her jeans. David said he’d be back in a couple of hours, so she had time to straighten up a bit and get herself mentally and emotionally ready for their talk. However, as the minutes ticked away, she felt even worse than when he’d dropped her off.
When the doorbell rang, Kimberly steeled herself and flung open the door. David handed her a grocery store bouquet.
“I’ll put these in some water, and we can go.”
Once she finished arranging the flowers, she turned to David, who quirked an eyebrow and grinned. “You okay?”
Kim shrugged. “I guess.”
He touched her arm and broadened his smile. “I won’t be gone long. You know how quickly the months fly by.”
“That’s not the point, David, and you know it.” She had to speak her mind. “I’m not as upset about you leaving as I am the fact that you never discussed it with me.”
“Do I have to discuss everything with you?”
“Not everything,” she replied. “Just the important stuff. The stuff that impacts us.”
“Kim, I love you, and I thought I knew you well enough to trust that you’d understand.” He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head as her mind swirled. When he drew back and looked into her eyes, she saw that familiar spark. “I’m just glad you’re nothing like Leila. You’re a good woman who’ll be there for me, no matter what.”
Two
Kimberly’s heart ached as she thought about the meaning of “no matter what.” If it involved David’s making decisions without consulting her, she wasn’t so sure she could live up to his expectations.
David shook his head. “Being a military wife can be rough, but it has its rewards, too.”
She stood there for a moment as her thoughts scrambled in her head. “I’m sure.” Her voice caught in her throat.
“Why don’t you get to know some other military wives and girlfriends and hang out with them?” he said. “It’ll make the time go by faster.”
“I might do that.”
“You do still want to marry me, don’t you, Kimberly?” He twirled a lock of her hair then tucked it behind her ear.
Kim swallowed hard as she frowned up at him. “Yes, of course I do, but I wonder. . .” In spite of trying to settle her shaky nerves, she couldn’t keep the accusatory tone from her voice. “I just wonder if you want the military more than you want to marry me.”
“Don’t tell me what I really want,” he said softly, “because I know. I want you.”
“But you want the military even more.”
David blinked and half smiled. “The military is a bigger calling for me, yes.” He gently rested his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her until she allowed herself to meet his gaze. “But that doesn’t negate my feelings for you in the least, Kimberly. You know how I feel about you. That hasn’t changed one iota.” He hesitated before adding, “My acceptance of this mission wasn’t done without quite a bit of prayer. I feel that this is what God wants me to do.”
How could she respond to that? They stood in silence for several minutes before Kim finally shook her head. “I don’t want to change anything right now. If you’ve been called to this mission, then go. I’ll wait for you.” She cast her glance downward and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to keep her chin from quivering.
He tilted her face toward his. “Are you sure?”
Sort of. She nodded.
“I’ll talk to Brian and get him to look after you.”
Kim bristled. “I don’t need anyone to look after me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
David leaned back and laughed. “Now there’s the girl I fell in love with. Independent and strong.”
“But I don’t mind looking after him. After all, he just got jilted.”
“Yes,” David agreed. “That’s an excellent idea. Do you want me to talk to him first?”
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Kim said. “Remember, I’ve known him practically all my life. And he introduced us.”
“True. Maybe you can return the favor and find someone to help get his mind off Leila.”
“It’s not that easy,” she said. “But I’m a good listener, so if he needs to talk, I’ll just be there for him.”
“Maybe some nice Christian girl will come into the salon, and you can talk him up.”
Kim couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I’ll hold her captive with a can of hair spray and some scissors.”
“Attagirl.” David chucked her under the chin. “Then you can give her a gorgeous haircut that he won’t be able to resist. Whatever works to bring him back to life.”
❧
As difficult as it had been to hear that David was leaving, after he’d boarded the bus, Kim wasn’t as devastated as she thought she’d be. When she turned around, she saw Brian standing by her car, watching. . .waiting. He grinned and motioned for her to join him.
“What are you doing here?” Kim shielded her eyes from the sun.
“David told me when he was leaving. I asked if it was okay for me to be here for you, and he thought that was a great idea.”
They stood and watched as the bus took off down the street. After it was out of sight, Brian patted her on the shoulder. “I sure hope everything turns out like you want it to, Kim. You certainly deserve the best.”
“Thanks.” She smiled up at him. “I just wish he’d talked to me about it earlier.”
“He really should have. I told him that when he first decided to request this assignment.”
Her head snapped around. “You did? Why didn’t you tell me then?”
“I wanted to, but David reminded me that it wasn’t my place. He said he wanted to tell you, and I agreed that would be best.” Brian shifted his weight and turned to face her. “But if I’d known then what I know now, I would have given him an ultimatum that if he didn’t tell you right away, I would have.”
“That’s what hurts.”
He gave her a brotherly hug. “Need some company for the day?”
“Not really. I have a pile of laundry and some hairstyle books I wanted to read.”
“Let me know if you need me.” After she unlocked her car, he held the door. “The least you can let me do is pick you up for church on Sunday—for old times’ sake. I’m sure David wouldn’t mind.”
David’s words about looking after Brian rang through her head. “Of course he wouldn’t. He knows we’re like brother and sister. Sounds good.” She got in her car and took off, only casting one quick glance in the rearview mirror to see Brian standing there, still watching.
Carrie called shortly after she got home. “I got it!”
“Huh?” Kim knew whatever it was had to be good by the sound of Carrie’s squeal of excitement. “What did you get?”
“You know, that job in Chicago.”
Kim racked her brain, trying to remember something about Carrie applying for a job in Chicago, but nothing came to her. “I’m sorry, Carrie. I don’t know where my mind has been, but I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
“That’s probably because I didn’t tell you where it was. All I said was that I was being considered for a promotion.”
“Oh yeah. You got it?” Kim had assumed it was in Charleston. “So you have to move to Chicago?”
“Just temporarily,” Carrie replied. “I’ll train there and eventually come back here to manage the West Virginia district.”
That was a relief. “At least you’ll be back. When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
&nb
sp; ❧
Brian recovered from the public jilting much more quickly than he thought he would. What bothered him more than the wedding falling through was the humiliation of everyone staring at him when he found out Leila wasn’t showing up. If it hadn’t been for Kim, he would have been too embarrassed to show his face in church—at least for a while.
He’d taken his time getting ready. Kim had wanted to go to the early service, and he suspected it was for him, since they wouldn’t see all the usual people.
The instant she opened the door, he gave her a once-over. “Hey, you look pretty good for a lonely woman.”
She flicked her scarf at him. “Stop it, Brian. You don’t have to go there with me.”
“I’m serious. I half expected to see red-rimmed eyes and that drab brown dress you used to wear when you didn’t feel good.”
Kim pointed to her eyes. “If you look behind the concealer, you’ll see the red. As for the dress, I sent it to Goodwill last year when David told me it was the ugliest thing he’d ever seen and I looked absolutely hideous in it.”
A burst of anger rose in Brian’s chest. “He told you that?” Kim couldn’t look hideous if she tried.
She bobbed her head. “It’s not like you don’t agree. In fact, everyone I know hated that dress.”
“The dress wasn’t attractive, but you were still pretty.”
“Oh, you.” She pulled out her keys and lightly pushed him toward the door. “Let’s drop the fake stuff. We’ve known each other too long to be dishing out anything that’s not real.”
He knew how she hated compliments. She’d always been that way—even when their senior class voted her cutest girl. In fact, she’d reminded him that puppies were cute, so she could win the award for looking like a dog.
❧
For the next three weeks, Kim and Brian went to church together, but that was it. The only other thing she knew he did was work—totally not like Brian who loved nothing more than to be right in the middle of the social action.
Finally, she couldn’t stand it anymore, and she remembered David urging her to help keep Brian’s mind off Leila, so on Tuesday she went to the back room at the Snappy Scissors and called him during her lunch break.
“Hey, Kim. Something wrong?”
“No. . .well, maybe. What’s up with you? Where do you hide all week?”
He didn’t answer right away, but Kim could hear him breathing.
“So you’re giving me the silent treatment? You acted perfectly fine on Sunday.”
“I’ve been working.” His voice sounded off. She’d known Brian long enough to realize something was up—and he wasn’t going to talk without some not-so-gentle prodding from her.
“What’re you doing after work tonight?”
“I’m behind on paperwork,” he replied. “Look, Kim, I’m really busy right now.”
“No, you look, Brian. I’ve had one man keep secrets then take off for the other side of the world. I’m not letting one of my best friends do this to me. Either tell me what’s going on, or I’m coming over tonight, whether you like it or not.”
After a brief pause, he said, “Okay, but not tonight. Why don’t you and I meet somewhere for lunch tomorrow?”
“That’s fine. How about we meet at the Blossom Deli at eleven thirty tomorrow?”
“Great. I’ll treat you to a Reuben.”
“Be still, my heart,” she said with a swoon. “You certainly know the way to get my mind off my sorrows.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, his tone lightening up a touch. “You say that to all the guys.”
“Right,” she replied. “I want to warn you, though. I need to vent.”
“You and me both.” He chuckled. “Just make sure you don’t stand me up. My fragile ego can’t handle that again.”
Kim heard between the lines, and she knew there was seriousness behind his playful tone. “You’ve always been able to trust me, Brian. When have I ever let you down?”
“Never. You’re not that kind of girl. See you tomorrow. I need to get back to these invoices, or I might not be able to pay for lunch tomorrow.”
“It’s my turn to treat anyway,” Kim said, “so don’t worry about it.”
After they hung up, she stayed in the break room, got her salad out of the fridge, and sat down at the table in the corner. Tuesdays were typically slow, so only three stylists were scheduled, and they staggered their lunch breaks. She was relieved to be alone with her thoughts.
❧
All afternoon Brian struggled to keep his thoughts on business. Kimberly Shaw’s image kept popping into his head.
“Knock, knock.”
Brian glanced up to see Jack Morrow smiling at him from the door. “Just wanted to tell you what a good job you did on the quarterly financials. Patterson was impressed.”
“For a CEO of the largest tool distributor in the world, it doesn’t take much to impress him, does it?”
“C’mon, Brian. You’re the best comptroller we’ve ever had. Everyone thinks so.”
Brian took his hand off the computer mouse and settled back in his chair. “Whaddya need, Jack?”
“Who says I need anything?” The district manager took a couple of steps into Brian’s office and closed the door behind him. “Mind if I come in?”
Brian laughed. “Of course not.” He gestured to the chair across from his desk. “Have a seat and tell me what’s on your mind.”
Jack glanced around the office, obviously stalling for time. Finally, he looked Brian in the eye. “Anything I can do?”
“Do about what? What are you talking about?” Brian asked.
“You know. Leila. I’m a good listener.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m fine.” Brian smiled. “She actually did me a favor.”
“Then what’s been on your mind the past few weeks?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. . .” Jack glanced down at his hands as he steepled his fingers and studied them before looking Brian in the eye. “You’ve done a great job here, but you haven’t been your old self since the wedding. I’m concerned.”
“I’m just fine. Leila and I would have made things work, but I don’t think we were all that great of a match.”
Jack stood up and flashed a sympathetic smile. “Good. I just wanted you to know that you can talk to me.”
“Thanks, Jack. I appreciate it.”
“See ya.”
After Jack left, Brian closed his eyes. Lord, give me the strength to get past all this. I appreciate the concern of my friends, but it’s time to move on.
The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur as he finished another report and started a new one. Brian was thankful to have such a mentally consuming job. Although his co-workers probably assumed he was immersing himself in his work because of Leila, he knew he was trying to get past thoughts of what could have been between him and Kimberly.
❧
The second Kim spotted Brian rounding the corner toward Blossom’s, her pulse quickened, and some old feelings flooded her, bringing her back to much younger days when she’d fantasized about Brian telling her he cared more about her than he was letting on. The one time she thought they might get romantic, he’d gotten all flustered and challenged her to a race, which she knew he did to change the mood. That was probably for the best.
“You look great, Kimberly.” Brian hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning toward the door of the deli.
Kim fought hard to keep her nerves intact. She chattered incessantly about work and everything else she could think of. When there was a lull between them, she told herself the only reason she felt this way was that David was gone. Brian was like a brother to her—nothing else. And that was all it could ever be.
“Have you thought about going back to the singles group?” Brian asked.
She held up her hand and pointed to the diamond. “No, how about you?”
“Yeah, but it seems weird. Wanna go sometime?” He clea
red his throat and quickly added, “Just until David comes back. I just thought maybe it would be fun to see some old friends.”
Kim smiled. She was glad Brian let her know what he needed from her. “Of course I’ll go with you, Brian. You should get back in circulation. You’re too good of a catch to be roaming around without a good woman.” She almost choked on those words.
A strange expression flickered across his face, but he quickly recovered. He laughed. “Now that’s a new one.”
“It’s true,” she insisted. “I can’t imagine why any girl would ever let you go. You’re sweet, smart, and fun—not to mention a great-looking guy who loves Jesus.”
Color crept up his cheeks as he shook his head and made a face. “Apparently, that’s not enough for some women.”
“I think Leila will look back at what she did and regret it, but you’ll be taken by then, I’m sure.”
Brian shifted in his seat before reaching across the table for her hand. “Thank you, Kim. Now let’s discuss the singles group. Wanna start tonight?”
If it weren’t for David encouraging her to do whatever it took to get Brian’s mind off Leila, she wouldn’t have considered it. She slowly nodded. “Okay.”
“Why don’t I pick you up at six?”
“Want me to fix supper?”
“Maybe next week. Tonight’s my treat. It’s my turn, remember?”
She smiled and nodded. “You’re on,” she said as she wrapped what was left of her sandwich. “I need to get back to work.”
Kim’s schedule was booked the rest of the afternoon, so she didn’t have time to ponder her situation. When closing time came, she hung up her apron and got her station ready for the next day. As she wiped down the counter and prepared her combs and brushes, the owner of the salon kept up a constant stream of chatter.
“I’m whipped,” Jasmine said. “I can’t wait to go home, take a shower, and curl up in front of the TV. What’re you doing tonight?”
“Singles group at church,” Kim replied.
