by Leigh Lee
While running every possible scenario through her mind, Eugenia pulled on her trousers and boots. She stood at the mouth of the supply tent for a moment and then made her decision. She would do this. Heading for the officers’ quarters, she tiptoed across the quiet hospital compound, keeping to the dark shadows between the rows of tents whenever possible.
When she arrived in front of Captain Bradford’s tent, she heard boots scuffing on the ground. The path made a sharp bend some distance away, and whoever approached was just about to make the turn. There was no time to ponder her best course of action. She scooted underneath the closed flap of his tent.
Still on her hands and knees, she froze and listened. Silence met her ears, and as her eyes became accustomed to the darkness within, she realized with great relief she was alone.
Invading the captain’s privacy made her apprehensive. Her heart pounded in her ears as she stood up and looked around in the dark. The military accouterments and medical books, arranged in the most organized fashion in a battered bookcase, bespoke of his achievements and interests. This was not the time to peruse the captain’s possessions; he might return at any moment.
Eugenia withdrew the envelope from her pocket. She placed it on his desk and was turning to leave when she heard the sound of footsteps right outside. The fragrant cherry tobacco of the Captain’s pipe wafted in.
Oh God in heaven—No!
Why had it never occurred to her that the approaching feet might be his? A panicky, choking fear washed over her. There was no credible reason for her to be here at this hour of the night, and there would be harsh repercussions for skulking about in an officer’s quarters. Trembling, she darted around in search of a hiding place. Her only option was to crawl under his desk. Even as the flap of the tent flew open to admit the captain, Eugenia was tucking her legs in with only seconds to spare.
Captain Bradford entered, humming a tune that she had heard him hum many times before. The pleasant aroma of his pipe filled the tent as he lit a lamp and turned it low. In the dim light, Eugenia was well hidden in the shadows. However, nothing obstructed her view of the man. He was not wearing his uniform jacket, and as he grabbed a towel and began to dry his hair, she realized that he must have gone back to the pond to bathe.
Next, he took off his shirt, exposing a tanned, lightly furred chest. Turning his back to her, he stretched his arms upward. Despite the impending danger, Eugenia could not help but admire the rippling of muscles across his broad back. Yawning, he scratched his backside, sat down on a wooden stool by his bed, and removed his boots and trousers. With the exception of the pipe dangling from his lips, all that remained on his person were his under drawers.
Overcome by an odd mixture of horror and fascination, she scarcely managed to suppress a most inappropriate urge to giggle. As much as she knew it was an invasion of privacy, her eyes remained riveted on his body.
In the line of duty as a hospital steward, she had seen many men without clothing. She had even had to bathe a few who were incapable of doing so for themselves. Yet those experiences were clinical and mechanical compared to the blazing, heart-thumping sight of Jeffery Bradford peeling off his under britches not three feet from her.
The glow of the lantern lit the most magnificent male form Eugenia had ever seen, as the captain faced her nude. Eugenia’s gaze slid down his superb body, and the arresting sight of his well-endowed manhood forced a barely audible gasp from her lips.
Nevertheless, audible it must have been, especially to the man who until a moment ago thought he was alone. He went still, peering into the gloom, trying to locate from where the sound had come. He reached for the pistol he kept by his bed and called out in a hoarse whisper, “Who is there? Come out and show yourself or prepare to be shot!”
Frozen in fear, Eugenia stopped breathing. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed that the captain would not put a bullet in her before he realized who she was.
If he did not kill her beforehand, surely he would be sorely tempted to do so once he discovered her hiding in his quarters in the middle of the night. Paralyzing fear made her incapable of speech, and she drew back, deep within the shadows of his large desk.
The captain put his pipe down and crept naked, with pistol in hand, checking every nook large enough to hide a man. He hurled objects about in his search as he stalked the tent. Nausea rose in Eugenia’s throat as he came near her hiding place, but then he turned and moved away. He stood rigid for a few more minutes, listening, coiled like a snake ready to strike at any sound. Then shrugging his shoulders, he relaxed and replaced the firearm in the holster, turned down the lamp, and lowered his tall frame to the bed.
Eugenia’s heart slammed so hard in her chest she felt sure the captain could hear it. Her lungs burned for air, but she dared not take too deep a breath for fear of making another sound. As he continued to lie quietly, she slowly released her breath. Relief flooded her. Despite her stupidity, it now appeared that she might escape this folly unscathed. She would wait until he fell asleep and tiptoe out. He would never know she had been there.
Before she could even complete the thought, the captain shot up to a sitting position. It startled her so badly that she almost bumped her head on the underside of the desk.
What the devil is he up to now?
He swung his long legs out of bed and stood, yawning. Then he went to a shelf where he kept his pipe and relit it. The match gave an eerie glow to his face for a moment before he turned and lit the lamp again. Humming the same tune as earlier and puffing on the pipe, he came toward the desk. Then abruptly he stopped—his eyes riveted to the surface of the desk, just above her head.
Eugenia fought another gasp. The letter! He had noticed it.
Setting down his pipe, the captain inched closer, his movements stilted and stealth-like. When he was close enough to pick up the envelope, he instead dove low. Reaching beneath the desk, he latched on to Eugenia’s shirt.
Eugenia gave a strangled cry, as the captain hauled her from beneath the desk and yanked her to her feet. There was the sound of cloth rending, and suddenly the captain held the remnants of her shirt in his fist. Now the linen binding her breasts was all that hid the truth of her gender, and because she had loosened it earlier, her breasts were about to pop free of their confinement.
Fear for her modesty was nil compared to the horror of the captain discovering her ruse. She grabbed the torn shirt from where it still dangled in his fingers and clasped it to her chest. As she raised her eyes to meet those of Captain Bradford’s, she prayed he had not noticed what she sought to hide.
Too late. He had seen. It was evident by the utter confusion on his face.
~*~*~
For a space of time, they stood frozen with their eyes transfixed and staring at each other. Then Jeff lowered his eyes from her face to her cleavage. Comprehension was slow to arrive as he adjusted his gaze up and down in an effort to process the contradictions in front of him.
As full understanding dawned that he was standing in the presence of a woman—and himself without a stitch of clothing, he gasped in dismay and snatched the shirt back from Eugenia. Holding the cloth to his nakedness, he pointed a shaky finger. “Sergeant—uh, Adams? You are? What manner of insanity is this?” he croaked, aiming at the breasts that were ready to spill from their binding. “Explain. At once!”
“What—er—what?” she stammered as she averted her eyes from his state of undress while clutching at her own body. Her gaze darted frantically around the room and then fell once more on the part of his anatomy covered by the shirt. Having a conversation with him naked was making it impossible for her to string words together.
Practically wilting, she closed her eyes and began sucking in deep breaths of air. Heavens above—was she going to have a breakdown right in front of him?
Jeff growled, and swinging away from her, he pounded on furious feet to the peg that held his trousers. “Enough is enough!” he yelled. “What have I done in my life to deserve such t
orment?” Turning his back, he yanked on his pants with jerky movements, muttering irately as he fastened the fly. He then swept the lamp from its resting place and returned with it to where she stood.
In the yellow light, Eugenia shrank back from his stare. Violent trembling overtook her and all the color drained from her face. Her gaze flicked toward the tent door.
“You’re not going anywhere anytime soon,” he growled.
Chapter 12
Jeff towered over her, staring, confounded to the very edge of his wits.
Dear God! What was he to do?
The torrent of thoughts rushing through his mind added to his agony. Here in front of him was the familiar head of Sergeant Eugene Adams, which had the audacity to be attached to the luscious body of a young woman. How the two came to be one and the same was something his jarred mind just would not supply.
He was hallucinating. Or perhaps this was a horrid night. Yes, that must be it.
His questioning eyes bore into the wide, terrified green ones, seeking answers. “How?”
“How?” she whispered back. Her mouth moved, but no further sound came out. She seemed struck dumb, frozen by his stare as he searched her face for answers. Then an expression of awareness washed over her features and she took a step back.
Fearing she might bolt, Jeff seized her upper arms and held her in place. She trembled as he drew her closer for a better look at the delicate features that had plagued him for so long. He gripped her pert chin and lifted her face to the lamplight. The revelation was like coming out of a fog.
As he began to grasp the full impact of what he was seeing, the young woman attempted to jerk away. Despite her ferocious struggle, he drew her closer. His bewilderment turned to rage, and he imprisoned her with one arm wrapped around her waist and tightened his viselike grip on her face. The way in which he held her offered little chance for escape, but still, she fought him.
She shoved against his chest with her small hands, determination plain on her face. “I demand that you let me go!”
“Hold still!” Jeff shouted back. Feeling the softness of a woman’s form helped to validate what he saw as he studied what he now realized was a feminine face. As certainty sunk in, Jeff’s anger soared higher, and he longed to cuff the sergeant for lying to him. Yet that would be highly inappropriate now that the sergeant had turned out to be a lady. Well, so far there was no proof that she was a lady. Yet the body he held within his arms was most definitely female. For that reason, he bit back words too sizzling for the ears of a woman, ones he certainly would have spat them if she were a lad. Still, even he had a limit to his endurance, and the pest was forcing a test of his chivalry as her struggles caused her hips to grind against his.
Giving her a self-satisfied smirk, he bore into her eyes, searching for the truth in her very soul. “I believe I have at last solved the mystery which has pestered my mind since I met you,” Jeff whispered to himself.
“Let me go at once, or I shall scream!” she threatened.
“Be my guest, if you feel so inclined. Bring down the watch upon us. Whom do you think they will arrest? The officer in charge or the sergeant who dares to wear a disguise and presents herself as something she’s not?”
He paused only a moment longer before exploding. “Madam! Who are you, and what game do you play?”
“I have nothing to tell you.” She pushed again at his chest. “Unhand me at once!”
“You are not in a position to be doling out orders. I have had enough of your foolishness. Quit this farce and tell me who you are and why you disguise yourself thus.” His fingers curled inside the binder brushing against her breasts. “I have only to tug here.” He allowed his eyes to linger on the portion of her soft breasts visible above the binder. “Yes. You are most definitely female.”
“I told you to let me go!” She stomped her boot down sharply across his bare toes and pushed at his chest surprising him with her strength.
Red-hot rage shot through Jeff as pain sliced through his toes. He stumbled backward, losing his hold on her. As soon as she was free, the woman sprang forward, but she did not get more than a few paces before he reached out and caught her. He spun her around and hauled her up to within inches of his face.
“Listen to me, you little hellion,” he gritted out. “Over the last two months, I have endured enough from you to drive a sane man mad. You are not in the midst of some childish game. This is war. So start talking, as I am determined to find out the truth. Do not think that I am beyond taking you over my knee and warming your britches at the next intolerable word or act, so be forewarned.”
“You wouldn’t! I know you. You would not dare strike a lady,” she cried. “Do not your own “rules of decorum” restrict you—as a gentleman—from hurting a woman?”
He gave a humorless laugh releasing her. “And I thought I knew you.” Circling her, he went on. “You claim to be a lady when it suits your needs. While you are correct, madam, I would never lay a hand on a woman, neither would a proper lady masquerade as a man. Moreover, a lady would never be caught creeping about in a man’s bedchamber in the middle of the night. Trust me, I shall take great delight in using whatever means I see fit to discover your true identity and your purpose for being here.” He paused, struggling to rein in his mounting anger and hurt, trying to give her every opportunity for a confession; if for no other reason than he longed to believe that somewhere inside this imposter there still lay the goodness of the lad. However, his tolerance was wearing thin. How dare she evade his questions? His fingers sank into the tender flesh of her forearms, and giving her a violent shake he demanded, “Talk!”
~*~*~
The captain’s eyes held Eugenia’s for a space of time that seemed an eternity. His face remained a cold stony mask, devoid of even the kinder way he had come to look at her lately. That he felt betrayed was evident. Her heart sank as she realized that he was already condemning her—that he saw her as a stranger, a fraud.
She owed him the truth, but why and how she had managed to fool everyone and lie her way into the army was unbelievable. He was correct. No woman in her right mind would attempt such a stunt—unless she had a terrible secret to hide.
Fear of discovery paled beneath the glower of disdain and betrayal she saw on his face. If only she could make him understand her reasons for doing this, the vengeance that had driven her and had kept her strong these past years. Oh and how could she ever tell him that for the first time in her life, she had found a healing balm in him?
Eugenia searched for a hint of understanding and found nothing but contempt as he continued to glare at her as if she were the vilest of enemies. No, this man valued honesty and honor above all else. She had ventured so far beyond what he could accept that she would find no understanding here. The disgust and disappointment she saw in his eyes were a scourge of shame, far more unbearable than anything Eugenia could have imagined.
In despair, she had to look away. “What are you going to do with me?” she whispered.
He whirled away from her, his face a mixture of frustration and hurt. She could hardly blame him. Less than a quarter of an hour ago, he had discovered that his sergeant, the orphaned lad whom he had trusted as his closest aide, taken under his wing, and mentored, was a female. No doubt, he now believed every word, every moment, every deed was a falsehood, a lie.
“By damned, girl! I have no more patience for your games. I will know what you are doing here. Cooperation at this point would greatly aid your dire situation. If spying is what you have been up to, you should know that the penalty for espionage is death by hanging, firing squad, or at the very least imprisonment.”
Eugenia shook her head as cold terror seized her. “Spying? No, Captain!” She reached for him, but he stepped back. “So help me, I have always been loyal to the Union and to you! Victoria Winfred is the spy!”
He gave a cruel snort. “How do you know that?” His shoulders slumped. “Did I order a spy to help me catch a spy?” The coldne
ss with which he now looked at her created a fierce ache in her chest. “Loyalty? Is that what you call this? You have done nothing but to make a mockery of me and of my position here. Do not call me captain. You do not have the right. You are nothing but a liar and an imposter.”
His hatred cut deeper than Eugenia could have imagined possible. It was not as he thought. She admired him and never set out to betray or make a fool of him. She had never meant to love him, either. That had just happened. He was her captain, and he would forever remain so in her heart.
Fear of being shot or hung for Sheriff Dunlap’s murder had forced her to this end. There was no way she could explain what had prompted her to start this masquerade. In her heart and soul, she believed she had done the right thing by killing the sheriff. She had been a mere child back then, a child threatened by the very man who had murdered her father. Now, years later, she realized it had been a mistake to run and hide afterward. She had been too frightened and too naïve to know what else to do. As she was wanted for murder, she would now also be charged with espionage, and it was too late to change any of it.
Eugenia knew that the captain’s duty required he turn her into the military authorities, and as she stared at the devastation and frank determination on his face, she knew all too well that was his intention. Once arrested, spying would be the most obvious assumption in her case.
Realization of what she had lost—his companionship, his trust—and the horror that lay ahead became too much. Her heart broke. At that moment, life became too unbearable. Nauseating weakness gripped her body. On wobbly legs, and she grasped at his arm, begging his forgiveness. The sound of her pleading voice sounded alien and far away. Her head pounded as if it might split in half and her ears ached from a deafening roar that drowned out all else. As her head rolled back on her shoulders, her knees gave out. A darkness blacker than any she had ever known enveloped her, and she fell in a heap to the ground, unconscious.
