by WEST, T. J.
Getting sucked off was exactly what I needed, but it didn’t take my thoughts away from Peta. I just want to look out for her and make sure she doesn’t get fucked over– mentally. I may want to touch her, kiss her, screw her brains out every which way, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Not again it won’t. Protecting her from assholes is the best I can do.
Sitting on my lap is the chick from the dance floor. She gave me some pretty good head, so I invited her back over at my table. The gang is still doing their own thing; dancing, or mingling with other people. I, on the other hand, choose to stay at the table and continue drinking my tequila while sucking face with the chick whose name I haven’t even asked for. No need to when I won’t see her tomorrow, or ever again for that matter. My mind is clouded as I ram my tongue inside the chick’s mouth and slide my fingers up her dress and inside her pussy. My dick is on the verge of needing release again, but it all comes to a screeching halt when I’m splashed on with a thing of red wine.
The chick squeals, “Holy fuck!” and jumps off my lap. I look behind me to see Peta with a tray of turned over wine glasses.
Peta gasps. “I’m terribly sorry.”
Wiping her dress down with a cloth napkin, the chick angrily says, “You ruined my dress, bitch!”
Oh, hell no. I quickly get to my feet and stand between her and Peta. Her tone and language are not attractive, nor classy. “Watch your language, sweetheart. No reason to be rude.”
“Excuse me?” Her eyes bug out. Christ, she’s fucking ugly. “Did you not just see what happened here?” She extends her finger at Peta. “The bitch purposely spilled that shit all over me!”
Yeah, I’m done with her. It’s one thing insulting Peta, it’s another acting like a spoiled bitch with no filter, and an ugly ass personality to follow. “I think my lap is finished with you. Take your ass elsewhere.”
The chick flattens her lips, throws down the napkin, and picks up her handbag. “Whatever, asshole.” She storms off. Thank fuck. She sucked at blowing my dick anyway.
Peta places the tray on the table and starts wiping up the mess. She won’t look at me, yet she has a slight grin on her full lips. What the fuck? Did she spill that drink on purpose? I lightly grab her arm to make her stop cleaning. She needs to look me in the eye. “What the fuck is goin’ on here?” I ask curiously.
She puts a fist to her hip. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Jason.”
The hell? She’s playin’ games with me. “Did you deliberately spill that drink on her?”
“Seriously?” She laughs. “You really think I’d stoop to a level like that?”
Looking deep into those forest windows, it’s frustrating…I can’t tell if she’s speaking the truth or not. “Have no idea. You tell me.”
“No. I did not, and I’m offended you think I would have.”
“Just curious.” I shrug.
She dismisses my reply and goes back to cleaning up the mess, but then says something under her breath that catches me off guard. I swear I heard the word skank in her sentence. Again, I grab her by the arm, turning her to face me. “Whoa…what?”
She doesn’t say anything for a couple seconds, but since I have all night…well…she’ll tell me. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then opens them back up to say, “She’s a skank.”
This here is probably my answer as to why she’s been so bitter toward me all night. I drop my hand from her arm, cupping her face instead. “Ah, baby…you’re pissed about our night together all those months ago. I warned you there were going to be regrets.” Fuck…why do women get so attached?
She pushes her hands at my chest. “I don’t regret it. But it seems as if you do.” I see pain in her eyes, and it’s killing me.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Peta was supposed to let this all go, to move on. I slide my hands inside my dress pants. “Shouldn’t have happened,” I tell her.
She crosses her arms, obviously pissed off at my answer. “Why?”
“Because you called the woman who was on my lap a skank.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” she retorts.
“I think it does and it’s called jealousy.”
She gasps. “Get over yourself. Jealousy my ass.” She picks up the tray of glasses. “I’ve gotta get back over to the bar.”
I’m left with a whiff from her exotic perfume and a stiff dick. Her sassy temper turns me the hell on. Damn…I’m fucked.
As the night wore on, I continued with my bottle of tequila, ate some food, and kept my eye on Peta. Brock hung around her most of the evening, touching her, whispering in her ear, and at one point kissed her on the cheek. I was ready to go over there and knock his teeth out, but Lucky came over instead and took my attention away from the scene. It was a good thing, because my heart was in overdrive, pounding up against my chest. We took a walk and had a smoke. I hadn’t smoked all night. It felt good to clear my head of all these thoughts of Peta. Lucky didn’t ask me any questions. He’s good about keeping things to himself until we’re ready to spill our guts. He’s one of the most big hearted guys I’ve ever met. He and I have a lot in common. We both came from a bad childhood and instead put our hearts and soul into music to help our demons. Lucky’s the lead singer of JINKS. He and Faith were together before the band was founded. They had a falling out, but found one another again a few years ago and now engaged to be married. Even though Lucky’s someone I can go to about anything, I’m just not ready to have a heart to heart with him. I just needed a smoke with a good friend.
I thought by stepping away for a few minutes would help, but apparently, it hadn’t. The second Lucky and I walk back to our table, I find Peta on the dance floor grinding her leather ass against Brock’s junk. Smoke must be coming out of my ears. This is fucked up! What the hell is she doing? I lean my knuckles on the table and stare at my fireball princess making me jealous on purpose. How do I know she’s deliberately doing this to piss me off? Because her eyes are focused on mine and giving me the impression she’s having a good time doing it. Enough of this shit. Time to find out what’s up her butt crack– the real reason with her bitter attitude.
Leaving Lucky in my dust, I quickly march my way over to the spectacle I’m witnessing. Without so much as a glance to dick-face Brock, I grab Peta by the hand, dragging her away and inside Gary’s house. Not one word comes out of her mouth while I search for a place we can be alone. I find an empty guest bathroom. Once inside, I close the door, lock it, and drive her against it. I can’t take it anymore. I need those smart-mouth lips on mine before I get my answers. So I take her face into my hands and give her the best God damn kiss of her entire life. She won’t know what hit her. Not allowing her to touch me, I remove one of my hands from her face, and then force her arms above her head while my tongue continues to assault her mouth. My other hand lands on the side of her ass, giving it a good squeeze. I push my hardened cock against her pelvis, showing her exactly what she’s doing to me. Thereafter, I hear a moan coming from deep within. That’s right, Fireball…you want me. This whole situation is fucked up. What the hell am I doing? I shouldn’t be reacting this way. It’s wrong. But…fuck…she feels so good and tastes amazing. If I wasn’t so angry right now, I’d fuck her up against this door and have my way with her. It can’t happen though. She’s too good of a woman. In the end, I’d just leave her wanting more– or did I want more? Christ.
Slowly, I release her arms and raise my lips from hers. We’re both breathing heavily when I say against her lips, “What’s your problem? Told you it was bad news to get involved with me that night. Tried so fucking hard to stay away.” I drag my thumb across her plump and swollen bottom lip. “You’re too good, baby.”
“Apparently I’m not good enough for you or anyone,” she responds. Her voice comes out shaky and breathy.
I shake my head. She has no idea what she’s talking about. “Not true. I’m not good enough for you.” Leaning in for another kiss, she accepts it right
back allowing our tongues to reunite, but I still need some answers. “Tell me why you’re so bitter toward me and trying to make me jealous with that asshole, Brock.”
She closes her eyes and then quietly answers me, “You left me alone.”
Huh? She’s confusing me. “I don’t get it.”
She pushes my arms away, causing me to step back. “You left me alone. How hard is it to comprehend,” she shouts.
I’m trying to read into her anger and accusation. What is she…then it hits me. “Left you after I fucked you?”
Her eyes begin to well up. Fuck…she’s going to cry. “Yes. I felt like trash.” Her eyes shift downward.
Now I feel like shit. I close in our contact again, cupping the side of her face. “No. No, Fireball, no,” I whisper.
She looks me in the eyes. A tear escapes. Fuck no. “No note. No text. Nothing. You were just gone.” She shrugs. “How could you have done that to me? I asked for one night of your time, and you left without a trace. You’re so high and mighty about treating women with respect…well…that’s not what I call respect. You might as well have left me money.” I suck back a breath. That response alone cuts me…deep. “Now leave me the hell alone.” She pushes me out of the way, opens the door and leaves…leaving me standing in the bathroom…stunned.
I don’t even know what to think after what just happened. I’m so confused over her feelings and how I supposedly made her feel like a whore. That was never my intention. It was a one night fuck. Leaving without a trace is usually how I do things. I never think about how the woman feels afterward. It’s not how my mind works. Shit. I’m a total dick.
I COME FROM A DIVORCED family. When I was three, my dad split from a household of four teenage sons and one baby daughter. So that left my mom with five kids to raise and no job to back her up. I never knew the difference. My brothers took the place of my dad, but deep down I always had abandonment issues when it came to him. I saw him every other weekend, but even those times weren’t enough. He remarried, had another couple of kids and pretty much forgot about me. I haven’t seen him in almost ten years. It’s just the way it is. He was caught up in his new family and slowly stopped calling or wanting to visit me. It hurts, yes, but I’ve had to tough it out. I have my brothers. They’re the closest thing I have to a father…and I have four of them. But the real issue I have today are the men I have fallen in and out of love with. Even with four fathers, I still manage to pick the wrong men.
I really believed Travis was the one. Three years ago, I met him while I was working behind the bar at Reds. Reds is owned by my best friend Sandy and her husband Quinn Baker. The second Travis ordered a beer from me, fireworks ignited. I fell head over heels for him. He was in the Military. Things started to get serious for us and he asked me to marry him right before he was drafted to the Middle East. Unfortunately, after a year when he came back to San Diego, he broke off our engagement and went back home to Oklahoma. This was over seven months ago. I’m still devastated over it, but deep down, I really think he was hiding his secrecy of being gay. So maybe it’s a good thing he dumped me. But shit! How come I couldn’t dump him instead? It’s always me being stepped on. I don’t understand it, I really don’t. I’m not ugly, I have a great sense of humor and get along great with men, but for some odd reason, I can’t hold one down to save my own life. Maybe I’m meant to be alone forever. This means: I’ll never have kids, celebrate wedding anniversaries or grow old with the man of my dreams. My uterus is on a time clock. I’m now thirty-five, so before you know it, my river will be dried up and I won’t have to worry about being on the pill anymore.
Fuck…my love life sucks.
The night I met Jason from JINKS…Holy Shit-balls! I was engaged at the time, but it sure as hell didn’t mean my lady parts weren’t aware of the goodness that was, and is, Jason Chamber of JINKS. To say I was attracted to him was putting it mildly. His dark brown hooded eyes melted my insides when he looked at me for the first time. It was hard to not stare, but every time I did, I saw so much more of what I liked. I could tell by the scruff on his face that he hadn’t shaved in a few days, which to me was really hot. His brown spiky hair was cut short around his ears and neck, and a few piercings in each ear, yet there weren’t any earrings. I stand at five-eight, but Jason towered over me, which is a huge plus. What was even more attractive was his body. It was built like a machine– meaning you could see he worked out. It’s surprises me all the guys in the band have the time to do such a thing. I love a man who takes care of his body. Jason’s arms are out of this world amazing. Lumps of goodness covered in sleeve tattoos. I could also see them trailing a little above his neck. There was one behind his ear, a star. At the time that’s all I noticed. His perfect, rich ridged lips never rose in a smile at me, nor did he try to pick me up, and I never let on I was interested…not until the night of Wayne and Melody’s wedding reception.
I was still upset over my break-up and drank myself to oblivion. Getting married was something I dreamed about since I was a little girl and it was finally happening. But my dream came crashing down on me the moment Travis dumped my ass. I was sucked into a hole of sadness. Going to the wedding stirred all those unwanted feelings I tried so hard to forget. I did my best to move on, yet at the same time I felt stuck. I couldn’t get Travis out of my mind. He was everything I wanted in a husband– handsome, kind, caring, sexy, funny, and thoughtful. You see? Everything! So not having him in my life anymore crushed me. I wanted to feel numb, and the Fireball Whiskey became my BFF that night. Then Jason happened.
Every time I’ve interacted with Jason he’s been nothing other than generous and a complete gentleman. It’s not often you meet a guy in a rock band who behaves this way. They’re usually assholes who want nothing but sex. Not with Jason. Nope…not once had he ever tried to get inside my panties. Most guys I meet only want that one thing. But with Jason, he has always treated me with respect and never hit on me. Even being engaged never stopped the men from trying.
Drinking and crying my guts out to Jason made me feel like a total idiot, but at the same time he listened to me and said all the right things. The first time in a long while I wanted something I couldn’t have. I desperately wanted and needed Jason. I needed his body to rock my world. One night of his time was all I asked for. I didn’t care about the next day or the next month. Having his cock pressed inside my pussy was all that mattered. It took a few minutes to finally convince him to give in…to give himself to me. To allow my body to rock his world. I have to admit, it was the best night of my life. He was a wonderful lover and did everything right. My body loved his body…His dick. His moves. His groans. His licks. His sucks. His kisses. I could go on and on about that one night. It was a fantastic, sexy evening. Sadly, what made the morning-after the worst kind of wakeup ever imaginable? Jason leaving without a simple goodbye. I never expected us to be a couple or anything, I just wanted to feel like I mattered. Yet he did the complete opposite. He made me feel like a whore.
Six months later I still think of our night together. Not once did I regret it, but it seemed Jason had. Seeing him after so many months brought back the bitter feelings I had toward him. Being at Gary Sams Grammy party was a total blast. When I was asked to bartend I couldn’t say no. Who would turn down Gary Sams of all people. Plus, one of my best friends, June, works with him. To be associated with June and her celebrity team has been a dream. Because of her, I’ve had many bartending jobs at various celebrity parties and clubs. It’s been so much fun.
As the night wore on, Brock Crow, Lyric’s older brother hit on me. To say I blushed is an understatement. Boy did I get all the feels down below when he started talking to me. I’ve been hit on by a lot of celebs and hot men, but Brock– wooo! His arousing blue eyes, crazy out of control short dark blond hair and dazzling smile with the straightest whitest teeth ever and a hot body…need I say more? He’s just a sexy man through and through. Though, I knew I was playing with fire when I agreed to dance with hi
m and allowed my eyes to wander over to Jason. He was all kinds of pissed, something I haven’t ever seen from him before. But being the bitch I know I can be, I played with it. I grinded my ass against Brock’s cock and rode him wild. It was fun, but not the best idea, because Jason yanked me away and took me to the bathroom and laid those sexy lips upon mine and literally took my breath away. His kiss was a kiss to remember for eternity, but the feelings from six months ago hit me. I told him exactly what I felt and he couldn’t believe I thought such a thing. There’s something about Jason that’s odd. He’s not like any other man I’ve ever met or fucked before. I’m drawn to him, but it’s like he doesn’t get the attraction. He’s confused or unaware. Something tells me he’s not sure how to express himself verbally or can justify what the other person is feeling. I’m not making any sense, but when it comes to Jason nothing does.
A couple nights later I went over to Sandy’s house. It’s my home away from my one bedroom apartment. I hate being alone. Even if it is my own place, I’d rather be surrounded by the people I love. I guess growing up with so many siblings in one house, I’m not comfortable living without anyone. Maybe it also has something to do with wanting to find the perfect man. I want to fill my home with someone besides me and Mr. Shaft– in other words my vibrator. To be able to wake up with that one special person…I want it so badly it stings. God damn Travis. Why did you have to be secretly gay?
After arriving at Sandy’s house, I plop myself down onto her couch. Sandy has three boys: Joey, Ryder and Jett. Joey– sixteen, is fathered by Blaine Sullivan, but Ryder– two years old and Jett– four months old are Sandy and Quinn’s boys. My best friend is beautiful. She has long brown hair, green eyes and the cutest curvy body ever. I’m tall and all legs, but Sandy has the entire package.
