“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
Cindy made a valiant effort to recover. “I—I’m okay,” she stammered. “I just didn’t expect to see you. Here. In my office.”
Kyle obviously couldn’t stop the soft chuckle that slipped through his sexy lips.
“That is where we are,” he observed lightly. “In your office.”
After a moment of awkward silence, Cindy said, “I, um, I took some papers to Legal. I, um, didn’t expect to see you. Here.”
Darn it, she was repeating herself. This awful anxiety she was feeling had her thoughts and her tongue all tied up in knots. Again he chuckled, a sensuous sound that only tightened the coils of her already-tense nerves.
But he quickly subdued his humor. “I know you didn’t,” he told her. “But you left so abruptly before. I thought I’d hang around so we could talk when you got back. I thought if I explained a few things to you, you might feel a bit differently about what happened in the break room.” He paused a moment, then asked, “Do you have time? To talk, I mean?”
His deep chocolate eyes darted around the room and then lit on her face. His shoulders were rigid, his fingers slowly curled and then straightened, curled and then straightened. Cindy realized at that moment that Kyle was apparently just as uptight as she. What in the world did he have to be upset about? she wondered.
She really couldn’t concern herself with whatever it was that had him feeling disturbed. She needed to focus on all the things she needed to tell him. Once she was finally free of the lie, she’d feel better. Her relationship with Kyle would most likely be ruined beyond repair, but at least her mind would no long be encumbered with the gray shadows of guilt.
“I do need to talk to you,” she told him. Then she steeled herself with an huge inhalation. “I have some things I need to tell you. Some things I should have told you long ago.”
“Me, too,” he said. “I have some things I need to tell you. Things I should have told you long ago.”
The fact that he repeated her words, verbatim, took her aback.
“Long ago...?” Her brows furrowed, her own admissions fading to the back of her mind. “B-but what things should you have said...?”
He came to her and took her by the arm. Cindy allowed herself to be led, so flabbergasted was she by what he’d said. He guided her to her desk, then turned her around and gave her a gentle push so she’d relax her rear against the rounded oak edge.
Kyle moistened his lips, paced away from her the length of two steps, then he paced back. He looked momentarily distracted, like he was mentally rehearsing his lines. Cindy had the fleeting thought that she wished she’d had that luxury.
Finally his handsome chin tilted up, his gaze focused on her, extremely intense, making her feel like she was the only living being on the earth.
“I want to tell you,” he slowly began, “that I think you’re a beautiful woman.”
The profound quality she heard in his declaration made her feel terribly self-conscious, and she fought back the panic that gathered in her chest.
“Well,” she quipped, “with fifty bucks’ worth of makeup and a monthly trip to the hair salon, you, too, can be a beautiful woman.”
Kyle didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smile. And the fact that her joke took a complete and utter nosedive only inflated the thick awkwardness that threatened to drown her.
He sighed, his dark eyes seeming to tinge with what looked like sadness.
“The beauty I see,” he said, “has nothing to do with makeup and hairstyles.”
The fact that she’d made light of him had hurt him; that was clear and she murmured an apology.
“What I want you to know,” he continued, “is that I’ve been...attracted to you for some time.”
Cindy’s cheeks warmed. She knew that ever since she’d coerced him into taking her out on that first date that their attraction for one another had blossomed like a snowy white cactus flower in spring.
Then he added, “Longer than you imagine, I’m sure.”
If he was going to continue to surprise her like this, she was going to have to sit down. She was desperate to ask him what he meant, but the plea for him to elaborate simply refused to form on her tongue. Luckily he didn’t wait for her appeal.
“Long before your birthday,” he continued. “Long before your friends took you out for a—a complete...”
“Overhaul?” she supplied, her voice a mere whisper. His words so astounded her that she was amazed that she’d been able to come up with a description of the birthday present her friends gave her.
The tiny crease in his brow disturbed her, and she wanted to reach out and smooth her fingertip across it. But she didn’t. She was too afraid to act. Too afraid she’d make another wrong move. Too afraid that she was in the middle of some wonderful dream and she didn’t want to wake up.
“I’m going to say it again,” he told her. “You’re a beautiful woman. On the outside. But especially on the inside.”
He reached up and caressed a lock of her hair. “It wouldn’t matter if every single one of these glorious curls fell out. It wouldn’t matter if you were to wear a burlap sack. I’m still going to love you.”
Cindy couldn’t stop the grin that split her mouth. “A burlap sack. I doubt Mr. Barrington would approve of—”
The realization of what he’d actually said hacked off her words like a razor-sharp saber. He was so close to her that she could smell the wonderful scent of his cologne, but still he seemed much too far away.
“You’re still going to...?”
“Love you,” he softly provided.
As if he knew his declaration was a shock to her, he reached out and placed steadying hands on her shoulders.
“I’ve cared for you for months and months,” he said. “But my fear, my distrust, kept me from acting on my feelings. And then you came into work looking absolutely ravishing.”
His mouth curled into a sexy half grin and his eyes clouded over, almost as if he was reliving the memory in his head.
“Yes, you showed up at that meeting looking like a goddess,” he continued. “More beautiful than words can describe.” His gaze focused on her once again as he added, “And I was lost.”
He gave a small sigh. “But I was in deep trouble. How could I tell you how I was feeling..how I had been feeling about you? I couldn’t. Not without looking like some kind of lecherous Casanova. Not without looking as if your makeover made all the difference.”
The look on his face seemed to beg for her understanding. “The change in your appearance didn’t cause my feelings for you. But your makeover did force me to act.”
Kyle gave her an ironic smile. “When your friends told me you were interested in going out with Mike, I nearly panicked. I was saved when they asked me to take you on that pretend date.” He chuckled. “I don’t know if you noticed back then, but I’ve never agreed to anything so fast in my life. I saw the opportunity as my only chance to somehow show you how much I cared for you.” His tone softened. “And then after spending so much time with you, I realized that I not only care for you very much, I love you with every ounce of my being.”
Cindy’s heart twisted painfully in her chest. She should be happy. She should be ecstatic. This fiercely intense man had just confessed his love for her. She should be filled with overwhelming joy.
So why wasn’t she?
Because she had some confessing of her own to do. There was a secret that needed to be revealed. A secret that would surely destroy everything.
Confusion lit his brown eyes, his brow wrinkling with obvious worry.
“You don’t seem happy about what I’ve said.”
When she finally found her voice she said, “Oh, but I...I...”
She let the sentence go unspoken. She wanted so badly to lean against him. To kiss his mouth. To let him know in no uncertain terms just how deeply she loved him. Just how joyous she felt to hear him verbalize his emotions. But s
he couldn’t. Not until she told him everything. Every last ugly truth.
“I have some things I need to tell you,” she said, averting her gaze from his. “Some things that aren’t going to be very pleasant for me to say. But I’m going to say them because they need to be said.”
For the span of two heartbeats—and two heartbeats only—Cindy considered not telling him about the lie at all. What would it hurt? Her friends would never divulge the secret. Not if she asked for their confidence. And not telling him would surely save him—it would save them both—a great deal of anguish and heartache.
But it wouldn’t be right. Even if she didn’t love him, the immense respect she felt for him was enough all by itself to have her confessing the truth. A friendship couldn’t be based on lies, half-truths and manipulations. She’d tell him. Because she loved him so very much.
After a moment, she emphatically murmured, “They simply must be said.”
He tipped up her chin with his crooked index finger and gazed into her eyes.
“You seem afraid,” he observed.
“I am,” she told him. “I’m very afraid.”
The love and concern expressed in his gaze nearly stole away her breath.
“Honey, there’s nothing you can say that will change how I feel about you.”
She bit her lip, fighting back the tears that prickled the backs of her eyelids. “You’d better not say that,” she warned. “Not until you’ve heard me out.”
After a long, soul-searching moment, he said, “I’m listening.”
She closed her eyes, swallowing nervously. Hurting him was going to be awful. But disappointing him would be worse. His trust was about to be betrayed. And she was the betrayer. There was no getting around it. There was no softening the blow.
Her thoughts churned frantically, latching on to the perfect means of putting off the inevitable.
“First,” she said, her voice a grating whisper, “I want to thank you.”
Kyle’s curiosity creased his already-worried brow even further.
“I’ve spent my whole life thinking that my mother liked living the way she does. And I’ve resented it bitterly. And that bitterness has colored my views of loving relationships. It never dawned on me that my mother may feel trapped and unhappy.”
Absently Cindy reached up and smoothed her bangs out of her eyes. “You made me see that there might be another explanation.” She gave a small shrug. “And that alone is enough of an incentive for me to reach out to her. To talk to her about my feelings. To offer her the chance to talk about hers.”
She touched his warm hand with the very tips of her fingers. “I want you to be the first to know. I’m going to call my mom. And no matter what our conversation brings, I’m going to tell her that I love her. Because I do love her. No matter what may have happened in the past. I think she did the best for me that she could.” Her head tilted, her gaze softening. “And I only have you to thank for that. You made me stop. You made me think.”
“I’m glad to hear you’re going to call your mother,” he said.
But his whole body was stiff and waiting. And she knew she could put off the bad news no longer.
Suddenly her chest was filled with a terrible sadness, a sadness as vast and desolate as the Sonoran Desert. Hot tears welled up and spilled slowly down her cheeks.
“Oh, Kyle,” she said around the hot lump of regret that had formed in her throat. “I’m so sorry you fell in love with me.”
She got the distinct feeling that she couldn’t have shocked him more even if she’d smacked him across the face.
“I don’t deserve your love. And when you find out what I’ve done, I’m afraid you won’t even like me anymore, let alone love me.”
His grip on her grew suddenly desperate. “Honey, you’re killing me. Please tell me what this is about. What is this horrible thing you think you’ve done?”
She tried to look away—she didn’t want to see the hurt and pain her confession was about to cause him—but he cradled her jaw in his palm, forcing her gaze to lift to his.
Her tears felt like liquid fire as they scalded their way down her face.
“I lied to you,” she whispered. “I manipulated you. I’m no better than that woman from your past. Monica. And just as she didn’t deserve the love you have to give, neither do I.”
Cindy became aware of how quiet the room was, and Kyle grew utterly still as he awaited further explanation.
“The whole idea of my going out with Mike, the guy from the mail room, was a farce,” she said, her voice unsteady with soft sobs. “It was a lie. A lie I concocted to make you jealous. A lie that led you to offer to take me out under false pretenses. I never dreamed that that one night would lead to so many others.” She paused, sighed. “That’s not true,” she amended. “That’s exactly what I’d dreamed would happen. But I feel just awful that I was dishonest I feel terrible knowing that this beautiful relationship that has grown between us has ugly roots. Roots tangled with lies and manipulation.”
She felt like she couldn’t catch her breath, like she was drowning in her own misery.
“All I can say is—” she took an instant to drag oxygen into her lungs “—I’m sorry. I fully understand your aversion of being manipulated and lied to, and I’ll also fully understand if you never want to see me—”
The sound that erupted from Kyle cut her words to the quick. Her heart pinched when she first heard what she thought was a groan of sheer agony. But then her eyes flew open wide when she realized that Kyle was laughing. He was laughing.
Confusion turned her thoughts to chaos. Had her admission hurt him so much that he’d lost his senses?
The next thing she knew, he was kissing her soundly on the mouth.
It wasn’t a long kiss, or terribly romantic, but it was enough to send Cindy’s head swimming. She’d never been kissed by someone whose laughter made it difficult for him to pucker.
What is going on? she couldn’t help wondering.
“You went to those lengths just to make me jealous?”
His dark eyes twinkled gaily.
She gave a mute nod. She didn’t understand. Why wasn’t he angry? Why wasn’t he insulted? Why didn’t he take offense at her deceptive, conniving behavior?
“I don’t understand,” she began, but he chuckled again and she grew still.
“Honey,” he said, his voice gentle, “how can you possibly compare what you’ve done to what Monica did? It’s not the same at all. Not at all.”
She truly felt foggy with bewilderment.
“The difference,” he continued, “is all in the motivation. Monica’s incentive for manipulation was completely selfish.”
“B-but so was mine.” The words sounded weak and far-off to Cindy’s ears.
He shook his head. “No. Not really. Monica cared only for herself. She cared only for her career. She didn’t care about me at all.” His fingers smoothed over her tearstained cheek and his tone lowered as he commented, “I get the feeling from what you’ve told me, though, that you do care.”
She leaned against his touch. “More than I can ever express,” she whispered. “I love you, Kyle.”
“And I love you.”
He kissed her then, a kiss that was soft and warm and full of promise.
Suddenly he smiled against her mouth, and the thought fighting to get out was what evidently made him pull back.
“Although, if I remember correctly, it was Molly and Rachel and Olivia and the rest of your friends who told me about Mike. They were the ones who suggested I take you out on that first pretend date. They’re the ones who conjured the lie.”
Her heart swelled with remorse. “But I went along with it. And I went on allowing you to believe it. And for that I’m very sor—”
He stopped her with another feathery kiss.
“All I can say is thank you,” he said. “If you hadn’t forced me into action...if you hadn’t pushed me into taking you out and facing my past, we may ne
ver have gotten together.” His dark gaze glittered. “I intend to thank all your friends, as well.” He shrugged good-naturedly. “Heck, and Mike, too.”
At last Cindy was able to smile. She reached up and pulled him into her arms.
He whispered against her ear, “How soon will you marry me?”
She gasped and leaned back to look at him. “What did you say?”
He studied her for a long, languorous moment and then quietly said, “I asked you if you’d become my wife.”
“Oh, my.” The tears that blurred her vision and spilled down her cheeks were filled with a joy the likes of which Cindy had never known. Her birthday wish was coming true. Suddenly every single empty space inside her seemed filled with warm, wonderful emotion. She felt whole. Finally.
I’m marrying my boss. The mere thought was enough to have her floating among the clouds.
“Well?” he asked, obviously impatient for her answer.
“Oh” was all she could murmur. She was going to have to do something to cope with the wonderful chaos the man of her dreams caused her thoughts to fall into.
Since she couldn’t get her tongue to form an affirmative response, she planted on his lips a heated kiss that was sure to convey her answer perfectly.
Yes!
Don’t miss Olivia’s story,
THE NIGHT BEFORE BABY
by Karen Rose Smith,
next month’s LOVING THE BOSS title,
available only in Silhouette Romance.
ISBN : 978-1-4592-5923-2
THE BOSS AND THE BEAUTY
Copyright © 1999 by Harlequin Books S.A.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review. the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office. Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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