He warred with himself. Wake her and make love to her, or let her sleep? With her working a shift at Doc’s in the morning, Cannon wouldn’t be selfish and wake her up, but he wanted her to know how important she’d become to him. So instead of leaning over and kissing those beautiful lips, burying his face in her hair, or sliding his body next to hers, he rose from the edge of the bed with the words “I love you” a breath away from being said.
After tomorrow, he’d tell her the truth. He’d let her know the depth of his feelings. How hard it was for him to trust that she wasn’t going to leave him when everyone he’d loved did. For now, he’d find a piece of paper and let her know he’d been there and he missed her.
Cannon stepped over Otis, who lay on his back with his feet pointed to the ceiling. In the kitchen, he flipped the light switch and opened what Sage called her catchall drawer. It was the place she hid the stuff she wasn’t ready to deal with. It was also the place she kept pens and paper.
On top of everything was a page with the logo of the development company he loathed. His throat tightened and his heart skipped a beat, then raced to catch up. He knew it was none of his business, but it didn’t stop him from reading the note.
Dear Ms. Nichols,
Thank you for reaching out to us about your interest in selling the property at 1 Lake Circle, Aspen Cove, Colorado. We are interested in making a deal.
We have no use for the actual structure, but we can offer a fair price for the land. Please contact us at your earliest convenience so that we may proceed.
Sincerely,
Stephen Tobler
Property Development Manager
Sterling Group
Cannon ground his teeth until he was sure the enamel would crack. All the progress he’d made tearing his barriers down was for naught. The fortress he had erected before Sage arrived slid back into place. Steel beam reinforcements resurrected around his heart.
He shoved the letter into the drawer and walked out of her house. On his way home, he screamed internally at himself. He should have known better. The heart couldn’t be trusted, and neither could Sage. Then again, she never told him she’d stay. She only made him feel it was permanent by the way she invested herself in those around her. Hers was the worst kind of betrayal, because there was no warning. Kind of like when his mom drove off the cliff. There was no way to prepare for the mess she would leave behind.
There would be so many people hurt when she left. She’d taken an interest in his father. He looked to her for support and encouragement and a kick in the pants when needed. Doc counted on her during clinic days. Hell, she helped deliver Louise’s baby that morning. Katie was her friend and confidant. Then there was him. He’d let her in. He’d fallen in love with her. He’d considered a future with her, but now there was nothing. She’d robbed him of everything. It was one thing to live in ignorance; it was another to have had a taste of heaven and then be shoved into hell.
Cannon walked into his house. He looked in on his father, who was asleep in bed. He walked to his bedroom and opened the safe to pull out a bottle of wine. Tonight, he would drink. Tomorrow, he would mourn the loss of his mother and Sage.
Chapter Thirty-One
A loud crack of thunder woke Sage from a sound sleep. Rain pelted the roof and windows. The smell of pine and dampness filled the air. At the next boom of thunder, Otis barked at the air around him.
“It’s okay, it’s just a storm. It will pass.”
She ran her hand over the smooth bedspread where Cannon normally slept. It had been weeks since that side of the bed had been empty. Having half the bed pristine didn’t feel right or natural. She liked the way Cannon wrapped his body around hers every night. The way she never got cold despite the way he kicked off the covers.
She missed not waking up to a cup of coffee next to the bed. It was his gift to her each morning. She liked that almost as much as his morning kisses—almost.
Although she knew he’d stayed with his father last night, his absence was profoundly felt. Sage had made the offer to stay at his house, but Cannon wasn’t sure what the day would bring and said it would be safer for all involved if he stayed home and she stayed at her place.
Sage understood his apprehension. Although Ben had been sober for weeks, all it took was one thing to set him back. If there was a catalyst to worry about, it would be the anniversary of the death of his wife Carly.
Sage slid out of bed and into her slippers. She walked Otis to the back door, where he made quick business of emptying his bladder. Otis wasn’t fond of the rain.
While her cup of coffee brewed, she called Cannon. The phone rang four times, then went to voice mail.
“Hey, it’s me. I miss you. Let me know if you need anything.” She almost told him she loved him, but that was something that should be said in person.
She walked to the front door and peeked outside to see if his truck was in the driveway, but it wasn’t.
Sage had no idea where Cannon had gone, but she hoped everything was okay. Thinking he’d taken Ben to work because of the heavy rain, she showered, dressed in scrubs for her shift at Doc’s, and drove to B’s Bakery. The big black truck was nowhere in sight.
She raced through the rain and into the bakery, where she took in a breath of comfort that came by way of sugar and butter and flour and fruit. It was eight o’clock. The muffins were ready. Thursday was cranberry orange day. Sage wasn’t sure what day she liked the best. It was a tie between banana-nut-muffin day and today. Then there was raspberry-muffin day. She liked those too. Who was she kidding? Sage simply liked muffins. It didn’t matter what flavor.
“Be right there,” Katie called from the back room.
“Take your time. It’s just me.” Sage walked over to the Wishing Wall. It had been up one day, and there was already a wish posted. She opened the folded page thumbtacked to the corkboard, and her heart fell into her stomach. The wish was from Ben.
Please make the pain go away. Help me have the courage to move on to the next phase of my life.
Ben
Sage had heard many people talk this way. When the pain of cancer or liver disease racked a body, people often begged for release into the next life. Was that what Ben wished for?
“Sad, huh?” Katie stood behind the counter and poured two cups of coffee. She walked to the other side of the display case and handed Sage a cup. They stared at the lone note stuck to the board.
“You don’t think he’s going to kill himself, do you?”
By Katie’s shocked expression, she obviously didn’t consider the possibility. “I never thought about it.” She touched the note with a soft touch, opening it up to expose the wish. “I assumed he was asking everyone to help him move on. As in be supportive. That kind of thing.”
Sage went to the table and sat. She put her coffee down and pulled her phone from her purse. Once again, she dialed Cannon, but he didn’t pick up. This time she didn’t leave a message, but she followed the call with a text.
Is your dad okay?
Katie left and came back with muffins. “He was sad yesterday, but he talked about today like he planned to be here. We laughed at how Louise nearly had her baby on the street because she was so intent on delivering the baking supplies.”
Sage picked up the muffin and peeled off the baking cup. “At least that mystery is solved. I wondered what all of those pink envelopes were for. It was Bea’s way of giving even after she was gone. Too bad she couldn’t fix things for Ben.”
“You don’t really think—” Katie looked up at the note and shook her head. “I’ll kill him myself for even considering it. What did Cannon say?”
Sage looked down at the blank screen of her phone. “Nothing. He isn’t answering my calls or texts.”
“That can’t be good.” Katie looked out the window.
“I’m not going to jump to conclusions just yet,” Sage replied.
“No, I mean that can’t be good.” Katie pointed to the sheriff’s car park
ed in front of Doc’s. Its lights flashed, but the siren was off. Sheriff Cooper bolted from his car and ran into the clinic. “Something’s up.”
Sage dropped her muffin, grabbed her purse and sprinted through the rain across the street. When she got to the door, Doc was on his way out—black bag in hand. A grim expression was on his face.
“Is it Ben?” Sage asked, trying to keep up with both men.
“Yes,” said the sheriff.
“I’m coming.” She opened the back of the squad car, only to have Sheriff Cooper shut it.
“Cannon doesn’t want you there,” the sheriff said.
“What?” His words were like a hammer to her heart. “What do you mean?”
He didn’t elaborate. Just climbed inside the car with Doc and drove away, leaving Sage standing in the street.
There was no way she’d be left out in the rain. She ran to her SUV and drove in the direction the sheriff had. When she reached the flashing lights, she was at the cemetery. By the time she got to the plot of land where everyone stood, she was drenched. The thin cotton of her scrubs clung to her body. Her teeth chattered, and her insides shook.
None of that mattered, because all she could see was Cannon cradling his father’s body. A trail of blood trickled from Ben’s forehead. He’d finally done it. He’d killed himself. But as soon as Doc pressed a packet of gauze to Ben’s head, he let out a torrent of foul words that could make a hooker blush.
“You’ll need stitches.” Doc looked over his shoulder to Sage. “She can help.” He touched the healing wound on his own forehead. “She’s good at them.”
Cannon looked at Sage. “Nope, she doesn’t have time for us. She’s got other stuff on her plate.”
She moved toward the man she’d come to love. “What the hell are you talking about?” The eyes that just yesterday morning had looked at her with love and affection no longer held that sparkle of life. Gone was the warmth of the green, and in its place was ice cold blue.
“Let’s get him up,” Doc said. He moved to the side while Cannon and Sheriff Cooper helped Ben to his feet. He groaned and tried to pull away, but the men wouldn’t let him loose.
“I’m not dead,” Ben grumbled. “I slipped on a wet gravestone and fell.” He looked back at Carly’s grave. “I’m pretty sure she’s done with my moping and reached out from the heavens to trip me.”
As the men walked Ben down the grassy slope, Doc and Sage followed.
“She was always a patient woman, but do you really think it took her nearly a decade to set you straight?” Doc opened the back seat door of the sheriff’s car and helped Ben inside. He looked at Sage. “Meet me at the clinic. I could use your help.”
Sage nodded. She stood in the parking lot and watched everyone but Cannon drive away. What was she supposed to think? Had the situation shaken him so much?
“Cannon,” she started to walk toward him. “What’s going on?” Her entire body shook, but she wasn’t sure if it was the cold or something else. A feeling of dread washed over her.
“Now’s not the time, Sage. I don’t have the energy or desire to deal with you right now.” He took a step toward her, then turned back to his truck.
She was certain he’d climb inside and drive away. Instead, he said, “Dammit” and rushed toward her. He removed his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.
She leaned into him. “What’s going on here, Cannon?”
He shook his head. “Apparently, nothing worth your effort.” He turned away and walked back to his truck. He jumped inside and drove off.
Sage was left in the middle of the cemetery, soaked to the bone and confused as hell.
Cannon knew he needed to gain distance from Sage. His heart would never survive the hit of her leaving if he didn’t. He was torn between begging her to stay and running away. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. Pain shot up his arm, but it was a welcome relief to the pain stabbing at his heart. One would hurt for a few seconds, the other a lifetime.
He drove into town and pulled into the parking spot in front of the clinic. He needed someone to talk to, but he had no one. For the first time in years, he wanted to cry. Instead, he pulled out his phone and called Bowie.
He wasn’t sure if his brother would pick up or not. It wasn’t only the anniversary of their mom’s death, but the anniversary of Brandy’s as well. But if their dad could work his way past it, so could Bowie.
On the fourth ring, he answered. “He alive?” It was the way Bowie answered all his calls from Cannon, which weren’t many since Bowie spent most of his time deployed.
“Yep, where are you?” Cannon never knew where his brother was. The last time he talked to him, he was in Afghanistan in a hospital bed, recovering from injuries sustained from a bombing.
“I’m close.”
That answer shocked the hell out of Cannon, because Bowie did his best not to set foot in Colorado.
“What does close mean?”
“I was gonna call you tomorrow. It’s not a good day, Cannon.”
Something inside of Cannon snapped. “Don’t talk to me about good days. I haven’t had one in years. I get that you lost your girl, but I lost, too. I lost you and Mom and Dad.” He didn’t tell him that he’d also lost his girl. What was the point? “I’ve been here picking up the pieces ever since, and I’m tired. Now, where the hell are you?”
Sage pulled her SUV next to Cannon’s. She got out and stared at him for a minute. By the way she looked at him, he thought she would come over to his truck. She pulled his jacket up to her nose and took a deep breath. Then she took it off and laid it on the hood before she turned her back and walked inside the clinic.
“I’m at Fort Carson.”
“You’re where?” He couldn’t believe his ears. Fort Carson was a few hours away. It was a military post Bowie had avoided his whole enlistment. In fact, when Bowie signed up, he drove to Oklahoma to swear in. “You need to come home.”
He might not beg Sage to stay, but he’d press his brother to return. “That’s kind of the plan for now. I’m here to process out. Not because I want to, but I’m out of options. The army decided I was no longer fit to fight.”
Cannon didn’t know what to say. Bowie had never been honest about his injuries. With all the deployments, he’d been hurt plenty. Sometimes Cannon wondered if his brother ran into the fights hoping not to make it out. Like his father, the two men had been shattered when they lost the women they loved. That’s why Cannon had to let Sage go.
“You okay?” Cannon asked.
There was a long moment of silence. “I will be.” Bowie cleared his throat. “Is Dad passed out on her grave again?”
“No, man. I have so much to tell you, but you should know Dad’s sober. He fell today. I found him and thought he was dead, but he wasn’t. He was mad but not dead. He’s getting stitches as we speak, but he’ll be okay. He’s working at B’s Bakery.”
“The old girl put him to work?” There was a hint of nostalgia in Bowie’s voice.
It had been way too long since the brothers had touched base. “Bea died over a month ago. She gave the bakery to a woman named Katie, and the bed and breakfast to a woman named Sage. Dad’s been helping Katie. Sage . . . she’s been helping Dad.” And me.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry about Bea. I had no idea.”
“It’s hard to stay informed when you don’t stay connected.” Cannon didn’t want to bust his brother’s balls, but it was time he was honest. “I’m glad you’re coming back. You’re just in time to run the bait and tackle shop. When will you be home?”
“I’m working myself up to it. Could be a week or two or three.”
Cannon knew his brother would have a tough time coming back to Aspen Cove. Memories of Brandy waited around every corner. “I’ll be here for you.”
“You always were.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Once Doc stitched up Ben’s head, he walked out with the sheriff and left Sage to bandage him up. “You had Katie
and me worried.” She peeled off the backing and lined up the jumbo Band-Aid to cover the wound.
Ben smiled. “Thought I was gonna do myself in?” He reached up and touched his forehead. “I’d choose something more effective and less painful.”
“You want something for the pain?” Sage gathered up the bloody gauze and paper and tossed it into the nearby biohazard bag.
Ben shook his head. “I’ve been numb for years. I think it’s about time I feel something; even if it’s only a headache. The way I see it, it’s payback for all the headaches I gave others. Especially Cannon. How will I ever make it up to him?”
“Just be present. All he wants is to have the people he loves around.” She offered him one of Doc’s Life Savers, but Ben declined. “Speaking of Cannon, he seems a bit off today. I know it’s the day, but he isn’t himself, and I’m worried.”
Ben laid a hand on her shoulder. “He’s lost a lot on this day already. It was a blow to him to find out you were leaving.”
Sage staggered back. “Leaving? Where did he get the idea I was leaving?” She replayed recent conversations in her mind and couldn’t come up with one where she gave Cannon the impression she was going anywhere. “I’m not leaving.”
Ben narrowed his eyes. “While we waited for Doc, he said he found a letter. Some development agent offered you a buyout for Bea’s property.”
“That’s what this is about?” She turned to walk to the door. She called over her shoulder, “Stick around, Ben, because there’s going to be another head bashing, and Cannon might need your assistance.”
Sage marched outside to where Cannon sat in his truck. She pulled on the door handle, not expecting it to actually open. Cannon had barricaded himself from her all day. Why not lock the door? When she pulled, it opened and she stumbled back and fell to her bottom onto the wet ground.
He hopped out to help her up. “Geez, Sage. What the hell is your problem?”
With his hands on her shoulders, he lifted her to a standing position. She poked him with a single finger to the chest. “You. You’re my problem.”
One Hundred Reasons Page 19
