I drove without thought or foresight for the first time in months. Oh my God, my baby is three months old. I was still young enough to stop at Planned Parenthood and take care of the situation. Nye would never have to know. But I would. And how could I live with myself if I did that?
Nye’s my husband, not some random guy I’m screwing, and a part of him is in me. Sure, our blood co-mingled, but that’s not the same as the thought of his beautiful child. Would its skin be a sweet light mocha shade or dark like him? Would it have the tight curls with blond highlights catching in the sunlight?
Would it wonder where its parents went every night?
Looking up, I realized I had gone to the mall in Coralville. The children I was envisioning had been in strollers in front of me. Or walking along the way. Their chubby hands pressed against the glass of Gymboree. A little girl with pigtails smiled brightly with her baby teeth showing in the latest ad from Baby Gap while a mixed race boy rode in a stroller that looked like a fire engine.
A mother patiently passed a few Cheerios to her baby while sipping a Frappuccino nearby. Would that be me? Could that be me? Then I hit Motherhood Maternity. The large bellies on the store dummies made me feel mine. It was firm. I thought it was just because I had been working out.
How could I train or fight with a belly like that? My mind wandered as I passed from store to store until I finally ended up at the indoor ice rink watching a group of five year olds in a class. I sat there watching as one class got off and another started in again.
“Are you going to tell me?” Schmitty scared me, again, then sat by me. I curled into his chest and finally cried. Resting his head on mine his hand gently stroked my tears away. Rocking me back and forth he let his fingers softly pet my hair. “Hey, KK, come on. It can’t be that bad. Just tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“Where your mind has been for the last three hours? You already look like a cult member on leave.”
I looked down at my meeting tunics and had to laugh. I hadn’t even noticed the cold when I was on Nye’s bike, but I’m sure it was cutting through the thin linen.
“It’s been three hours?” He nodded.
“Although at least thirty minutes was you driving at a speed of about Mach one.”
“Shut up,” I said, pushing his shoulder.
“I thought you were going to kill me.”
“Maybe next time.”
“So what’s with the zombie routine?”
“Zombie?”
“You’ve been walking around with your hands moving like you’re talking with an imaginary friend. Seriously, I had to talk mall security out of taking you in.”
“He’s invisible, not imaginary, and you’re sitting on him.”
“Oh no. Another man,” he joked.
“I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“You said him.”
“Reflex.”
“Hmmm. So who is this mysterious person that’s been upsetting my partner?”
“I don’t know yet?”
“Really, there’s a person?”
“That’s the eternal debate.”
“I’m lost, KK.”
“So am I.”
Schmitty took my hand and looked at me. His ice-blue eyes asking for the truth. His smile sweet and calming. Always calming.
“I talked to Gabriel.”
“And?”
“I’m pregnant.” Saying it out loud made it seem so real. Now I regretted telling him. Not because he shouldn’t know, but because I should have told Nye first. “I’m scared to death and I don’t know what to do.”
“Pregnant? As in with a baby?”
“I wanted a puppy, but you know how old uncle Gabe is…” That one came out wrong. I sucked in my breath and hoped Schmitty thought I was just being cute about Gabriel.
“How can you and Nye have a baby?”
“We had sex before we were sealed.”
“But doesn’t sealing freeze that stuff?”
“The baby's actively growing. It was a million to one shot. I wasn’t having sex so I wasn’t on the pill.”
“I get you, but Nye…Nye’s…”
“A man. He doesn’t ovulate. He has actively working sperm ducts obviously. Hell, even Gabriel’s thrown off. How can I tell Nye? You’re a guy…oh, never mind. I don’t know how I can go through with it.”
“How could you not? Kiriana, this is your one chance.”
“I know but…”
“KK, look at it from Nye’s perspective.”
“The one that didn’t want to pull me into this world. How am I going to bring a child into it? What the hell would you do?”
“Shit, now that I know I can get a girl pregnant I’m scared there are little Schmitty’s all over the world. Some of them may have kids. Seriously, we never thought we could get a girl pregnant.”
“And you can’t even catch crabs so…”
“Yeah. Protection is an annoyance that I’m suddenly glad Trish demands.”
“You’ve never stayed around long enough to notice if you got someone pregnant?”
“Well, I’ve lived in places long enough; I just never went back to one girl more than twice.”
“God, we are so alike it’s scary.”
“You never went back to a girl more than twice?” he joked. I punched him in the shoulder, then rolled my eyes.
“What makes Trisha so special?”
“She’s not special.” He leaned on me and pushed like a little kid would.
“And I’m not pregnant. If we both say it enough times it’ll be true.”
“Stop it. I don’t know. She’s not clingy. Doesn’t want me for anything more than nocturnal vetting purposes.”
“Quit watching chick flicks.”
“I’m not tacking on years for anyone. Ever.”
“What’s so bad about being with someone you love?”
“Nothing. If I loved her. But we’re not that way. Not like you and Nye. The way the two of you look at each other…” Schmitty shook his head. “What’s the scariest part of having this child?”
“You’re so avoiding the subject.”
“Blah, blah, blah.”
“Fine, I just never saw myself as a mother.”
Schmitty’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me close. I turned into his chest and started to cry. His hand stroked my back and he calmed me again.
“Kiriana, you’re being given a gift. Do not fear it.”
“Are you channeling Gabriel or something?”
“Shut up, I’m almost eighty. I’m allowed to be deep on Tuesday’s.”
My whole body shook when I giggled. “It’s Saturday.”
“Damn it. One of these days I’ll get it right.”
* * * *
PFC James Schmitt
Kiriana had finally calmed down by the time she got out of my car. I had watched her the whole ride back. Her reflection shone perfectly in my side mirror. Tears had been running down her cheeks the whole ride. I parked Nye’s bike and she looked like a little kid as she waited for me.
“It’ll be all right, KK. I promise. I think he’ll freak, then get over it quickly. Trust me, you’re gonna be the most hated and loved girl here.”
“I ’spose. I just don’t know if I’m ready for it. But it’s my only chance.”
“Yeah. That I’ve seen.”
My hand slid on the panel opening the foyer. KK stepped through, then I heard a scream followed by the feeling of a sledgehammer hitting my face. I flew into the wall. Warm blood gushed from my nose as I tried to open my eyes just in time to see Nye’s fist blacken them.
I could hear KK in the distance as my body continued to be pummeled. Nye’s knee was pressing hard into my gut, making me want to vomit. I swear his knee is pressing down so hard I think he’s going to go straight through my spine.
“Nye. Please. Stop. You’re hurting him. Nye.�
��
“How dare you touch my Other?” Nye screamed at me as another barrage of fists came my way.
“KK, don’t,” I warned, knowing that Nye’s fists were out of control. That was the last thing either of them needed right now. To have KK get hurt by an errant fist.
“Nye. Stop. Lars. Kiyoshi. Pull him off. Please, you’re hurting him.”
I could no longer feel Nye’s knee in my gut. KK was now cradling my head.
“Zarmina, get me some ice and towels please.” Her fingers petted what little hair I had on my head.
“How could you?” Nye screamed at KK. “How could you?”
I could hear the pain and anguish in his voice. I understood that, but he had it all wrong. If my throat wasn’t filling with blood I could try to explain. I coughed to clear my throat. KK leaned me over so I could spit.
“How could you?” KK screamed back. “He’s my partner. He’s the one who keeps me safe out there.”
I tried in vain to open my eyes, but couldn’t; they had completely swollen shut.
“You harlot.”
Oh shit! I’m glad I am not going to see what happens next.
KK was too slow in placing my head on the ground. I’m sure she was just trying to be gentle. At least that’s what the peanut gallery would think. I had seen her lose it before. She was going to attack and attack hard. My hand reached for her only to catch air.
“Did you feel it? His hand as it glided up my thigh.” What the hell is she doing? “Or his lips? As they worked their way down my throat.”
“Stop it!” Nye roared. “Stop it now!”
“Or wait…could you taste him? You could, couldn’t you?”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Nye moaned.
I didn’t need to see him to know that his hand was on his gut. I had seen KK’s there for the past month.
“Do you want to know what that feeling is?”
She’s gonna beat the living shit out of him. Her voice was like the silent muggy air before a tornado. I felt some ice being applied and I knew that Zarmina had returned. The soft wiping of the cloth was almost enough to make me think I’d have a chance to see the storm.
“Disgust,” Nye spat.
Slap! That had to sting.
“You called me a slut!”
This was followed by another loud smacking sound that was not an open hand—it was a fist. The ohs and oooohs that sounded around the room verified that. The fact that I heard Nye fall into a table and shatter a vase confirmed it.
“I’m your Other. You’re with me for eternity and for all of eternity you’ll have to live with the fact that you called the mother of your child a slut.”
The whole room got cold.
“Knocked? You…you…you…can’t be knocked,” Nye stuttered.
“Haven’t you noticed the only thing you’ve been feelin’ is nausea? Not my partner fuckin’ me in his car. Or didn’t you notice two vehicles were gone. He chased me down.”
“You can’t be knocked.”
“’Member the rule about active viruses. Actively growing things.”
“You can’t be knocked.”
Yeah, she’s gonna hit him again. Each time he repeated his voice was more and more distant. Maybe he was trying to make it be untrue.
And there’s the contact. I’d say lower jaw by the snapping sound that followed.
“Fuck, that hurt.” Nye hit KK? No way. “Only in your fucked up world could I punch myself.”
That makes more sense. He may just live.
“It does cut back on domestic assaults,” Lars said.
Now I knew, from the year we fought together, Lars was trying to cut the tension, but the few months I’ve fought with Kiriana I knew the response would be…
“I don’t need a fucking peanut gallery.”
“You can’t be knocked up.”
“Look, rerun, I am. First Frozen on record. The baby didn’t freeze because it was actively growing. So if I freaked out and hopped on your bike trying to get away I think I have that right. And if my goddamn partner decided he didn’t want to fight alone tonight and went after me—well, he’s got the fucking right to. I love you. That’s the only thing saving you from becoming a pile of dust. Cuz right now you need to stay as far away from me as possible.”
I could hear her footsteps storming off, then Zarmina whispered in my ear. “Schmitty, I need to go calm her down.”
I nodded then braced myself again on the floor as I swooned from a head rush.
“Schmitty…” This is the first time Nye’s voice isn’t tempered with anger when he spoke to me.
I held my hand up.
“Just get me to the chamber,” I garbled. I spat what felt like a gallon of blood on the floor. Two hands came under my arms, helping me.
“James…I just want to apologize…I know—”
“Too soon, man. Way too soon.”
* * * *
Kiriana Kladshon George
It was worse than I could have ever imagined. How could he think I would cheat on him? How? What had I ever done to make him think that? I could feel a pressure and tightening in my chest as I went to our tree. The one I had put in special for the two of us. His damn magnolia tree. Did I ever ask him if it reminded him of the good things about Louise? No, because it’s just supposed to be about the two of us.
My back leaned against the thin trunk. This tree was barely six feet tall, but it still bloomed. It was beautiful to look at, but I suppose it wouldn’t be able to weather a storm. That’s what years take. Packing on layers of strength. We just didn’t have that. We hadn’t even gotten the chance to try that.
Pulling my legs up, I rested my arms on top of my knees and let my head lay to the side. My tears muddled up the field to the right of me.
“Kiriana?” Zarmina’s sweet voice spoke softly to me. “Kiriana, you must not allow yourself to get upset at this time.”
“Zarmina, what am I supposed to do? I’m pregnant by a man who right now thinks so little of me that he called me a slut.”
All I could envision was me crying on Maury. I never understood why those women were so stupid to go on that show, but in this instance it made sense.
“He didn’t mean it. And right now is about forgiveness.” Her arms cradled me from behind as she sat down. “Words said in anger are not to be taken seriously.”
“Why? They are the rawest emotions. The ones on the surface begging to get out. He meant it, Z. In that instance he truly believed that I could be that person.”
“Not in his heart. He couldn’t.”
“Why not? He said the past was behind us, but it obviously isn’t.”
“Kiriana, you share nothing from your past with me so I do not understand why he would think of you that way. Although I am greatly confused on how you have come to be with child.”
“Sex, Z.”
“I understand that, but then Lars and I should have had a hundred children by now.”
“Oh…we were together before we were sealed.”
“Oh.” The tone in her voice made me realize that she did not approve. In fact I think I just lost what little respect I had previously. “I guess I never thought of that scenario.”
“Maybe you and I just come from too different of worlds.”
“The only world that matters now is the world you have created with your Other.”
Zarmina turned suddenly and Nye’s voice softly flowed from behind me.
“Kiri…may I apologize…?”
“Go away.”
“I deserve that…”
“Go. Away.” I could feel the sting of my tears forming again in my eyes.
“I don’t know what came over…”
“You called me a whore.”
Zarmina stood up, kissing me on top of my head. A scowl crossed her face as she turned to leave.
“Technically, I called you a harlot. Seeing as that other word h
as been stricken from the vocab—”
“You do realize that we made love less than twelve hours ago. We didn’t screw. We didn’t fuck. We made love!”
“I didn’t note the time.”
“Well, I do. Because I count the seconds between each kiss. You’re my whole life. You’re everything to me.”
I still couldn’t look at him. I don’t care what Z said. This cannot be forgiven.
“Can I claim the hormonal imbalance?”
“No!”
“Can I have you look at me?”
“No!”
“Okay. Both are fair. But, Kiri—”
“Don’t call me Kiri.”
“Kiriana, I—”
“Nye, there is nothing you can say to me. How could you even think that I would cheat on you?” I finally looked at him. “Why did you seal with me if you thought I’d do that to you?”
He knelt beside me. “I don’t feel like I’m enough for you.”
“I thought the past was gone. I can’t undo what I’ve done or who I was.”
“I know.”
He sat on the ground and pulled me to him. His arms were cold against my skin. It’s amazing that we can’t hide our emotions here. Annoying and amazing. I wished that I could have hid my fear and anxiety over this situation.
“It’s just sometimes I think you want more.”
“You give me everything I need and more. Hell, you even gave me a child. How many Others can claim that? You need to make other accommodations for a few days at least.”
“Kiriana, please…”
“Nye, I was afraid. The only reason Schmitty came after me was because he saw me take off. He didn’t know why I left, but he was scared because of how I looked. When I took your Chief and was driving worse than you, he really got scared. He held back and watched me for a while before he came to talk to me. He was just in the right place at the right time.”
“I don’t want to sleep alone.”
“Think about that next time. No. There better not be a next time.” I pulled myself up and started to walk away. Nye’s hand landed between my hips, stopping me.
“There’s really a sucker in there?”
I placed my hand on his. “Yes. Yours. Just in case you were worried about that.” I then turned and walked away.
“I wasn’t,” he yelled, but I still couldn’t turn around.
Redemption of Blood Page 10
