by Tricia Barr
“Ayanna, what’s wrong?” Fire asked. “Why did you stop?”
The crippling despair threatened to crush her lungs, and for a moment she couldn’t breathe. She swallowed to relax her throat muscles and took several small breaths.
“We have to forget about Joran,” Ayanna said in an unexpectedly deep voice. “I have to erase his memory from all of us. We can’t be tempted to bring him back, and none of us should have to live with the knowledge of what we did to him.”
For a moment, no one said anything. Ayanna saw guilt plain on all their faces, but also pity, pity for Ayanna. She hated it. She hated all of it. She wanted to forget, she needed to forget, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to stand existing for one more second, let alone eternity.
“Please,” she snapped in her urgency. Then she got control of herself and said, “We have to do it soon. The village will come after us, and it’s better if we all forget about Joran so they can’t use our guilt against us to help them bring him back. We can never bring him back.”
They all nodded and came in to hug Ayanna, and her tears finally broke loose, racking her body with tremors as they rushed forth. The cries of Fire and Earth joined hers, creating a heartbreaking song of sorrow, while Air and Water tried to offer comfort and kept their own despair reined within.
When her chest stopped heaving, Ayanna wiped her eyes and pulled out of the group embrace. “I will erase Joran from each of your memories. You will remember everything else from your history, but he will be removed and your memories will just fill in the blanks, at least that’s how it has worked for others whom I have been requested to make forget a lost lover in the past. Once I’ve done all of you, I’ll make myself forget.”
“Are you even sure you can do that?” Water asked her. “Will your powers work on yourself?”
“They have to,” Ayanna said, almost begging them to.
Water nodded, the look of pity in his eyes again.
“Who’s first?” she asked.
“I can’t,” Earth said.
“What are you talking about?” Fire asked.
“I have to stay,” Earth said. “The village may have lost its way following Joran, but there are still good people here, and they will need my help now more than ever. If I forget about Joran, it will be too confusing for me to stay. I need to remember him so that I can help our people recover from his loss.”
“But if you stay…we may never see you again,” Fire said, eyes glossing over with fresh tears.
Earth’s eyes shed tears freely and lovingly, and she gave Fire a reassuring smile. “We will find each other again. Even if it takes a very long time. We’re Bound.”
They hugged each other, and Earth proceeded to hug all of them.
“Be safe, my selfless friend,” Ayanna said when they broke their embrace. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“See you in another life,” Earth said.
Taking one last look at them, Earth turned around and ran back toward the village. The rest of them gathered in a circle, preparing to let Ayanna work her magic.
“Before we do this, what if forgetting about Joran makes us forget about why we left the village,” Air said. “We don’t want to accidentally wander back and be forced into freeing him.”
“I don’t think that will happen,” Ayanna said. “We have all known for a long time now that the village has been corrupted. Even without Joran in the picture—” her voice choked up, but she swallowed and continued “—we all still know to our cores that the village is bad, and that to return after running away would be a death sentence. The village has always wanted their Bound Ones, even before the Shade King came into the picture, and they will stop at nothing to get you all back.”
The Bound Ones nodded.
“The rules will change now,” Water said. “Leaving the village means it will be harder for any of us to find each other again in out next life. We won’t have a community to look for us, it will just be you.”
An idea came to Ayanna, an idea she’d had many centuries ago but the Elders decided against it. “We’ll find the fragments of the stone from the dagger that made Joran and me immortal and we’ll use it on you. If you’re all immortal, none of us has to worry about finding each other again.” And I won’t have to be alone…
“That’s perfect!” Fire said.
“You’re right, we should have done it a long time ago,” Air agreed with her thoughts.
“I think that is definitely something we will all still want even after we forget about Joran,” Water said.
“Yes, I think so, too,” Ayanna said. “A purpose will keep us all focused, keep other important memories from getting washed away by accident.”
“I’ll volunteer to go first,” Water said. “Let me be your experiment.”
“Very well,” she said. The two of them got comfortable sitting on the ground in front of each other. “I have no idea what you will experience. Many people feel dizzy and confused after I have removed memories, but I have never removed this many at once, so I can’t say with any certainty what the outcome will be.”
“I understand,” Water said, and he closed his eyes and inclined his head toward Ayanna.
She put her hands on his temples and focused, calling on every memory containing Joran and pulling it out, much like sucking venom out of a snake bite. When it was over, Water fell into a deep sleep, unable to tell anyone what he was experiencing.
“He will be fine,” Air said, mentally probing his sleeping friend. “His mind is searching to fill the void that has been created, and he is very disoriented. The struggle is too much, which is why he fell unconscious. But his mind will recover just fine, I think. I should be the last one whose memories you erase. Otherwise I might hear Joran’s name in both of your thoughts, and the erasure will have been for nothing.”
“I agree,” Ayanna said. “Which means that you are next, sister.”
Ayanna repeated the process with Fire, and then Air, who both promptly passed out at the end, and finally it was Ayanna’s turn. She stood alone amongst her sleeping friends, her sorrow threatening to open a pit in the earth beneath her feet and suck her in as well. She couldn’t take one more second of this. She curled into a ball near Fire and pressed her hands against the sides of her head, willing her powers onto herself. Forget, forget, forget! And then all went black.
Phoenyx was getting worried about Ayanna. Ayanna had been hunched over in her seat with her head in her lap for over an hour. Phoenyx didn’t know what to expect, because her sister had never undergone this process before. Phoenyx had watched Sebastian go through it countless times before, but it was different with Ayanna because she was using her powers on herself. Phoenyx assumed that if Ayanna could use her powers to make herself forget something, bringing the memories back should work just as well, but Ayanna always said that messing with people’s minds was a dangerous undertaking. She hoped that Ayanna’s mind could handle this.
While Ayanna dealt with her returning memories, the Bound Ones had been talking about their plan for their arrival in London.
“We don’t all need to go inside the Four Corners Lodge,” Sebastian had started the conversation. “We just need one of us to go in and find out about Sam. Once we know where he is, we can regroup and think of a way to stop him.”
“I should go,” Lily said. “If I do manage to find him in there, I think I can talk to him and get him to change his mind. He’s hurting, and people in pain don’t always think clearly. I can appeal to him on an emotional level and help him see that the Four Corners is not the answer to his problems.”
“No, we just got you back from the Four Corners, there’s no way we’re sending you back to them alone,” Phoenyx refuted.
“Phoenyx, I love that you care about me, but you don’t have to be so protective of me anymore,” Lily said. “Thanks to the dagger, you no longer have to worry about my safety. I’ll be fine.”
“While that may be true, Phoenyx is right,” Skylar interje
cted. “We need to send in someone who can get in and out with minimal detection, and your element doesn’t give you the right skills for the job, Lily.”
“I think it’s obvious that Phoenyx should be the one to go,” Sebastian said. “Her compulsion can get her the information seamlessly, and get her in and out with no problems.”
“Yes, it should be me,” Phoenyx agreed, just glad that they weren’t sending sheepish Lily back into the wolves’ den. “I’ll just find out where Sam is, and once we’ve found a way to get him alone, you can try your way.”
“We already tried the talking route and that didn’t work out too well,” Sebastian argued. “We have to be prepared to use force to stop him.”
Lily frowned and shook her head, but Phoenyx and Skylar nodded in agreement.
“I don’t want to hurt him,” Lily insisted, her pretty brows pressed together in sympathy. “He’s just lost, like we all were. The Four Corners is using him as a pawn, and he has no idea what he’s doing.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Sebastian said. “If he can’t be reasoned with, then we have to use whatever measures necessary to keep him from performing that spell. You said it yourself, we can’t allow the Shade King to come back.”
Lily was still shaking her head. “Then we will try everything else first, using force only as a last resort.”
Knowing that it was useless to argue with Lily, the three of them nodded, putting the matter to rest.
In the silence that followed, Phoenyx heard soft weeping to her left. She turned to Ayanna beside her, whose head was still in her lap, but her shoulders were shuddering in time with the weeping.
Phoenyx tentatively put her hand on Ayanna’s shoulder. “Ayanna?”
The weeping grew slightly louder, and Ayanna sniffled before raising her head. When she looked at Phoenyx through her curtain of curls, her face was streaked with tears, her moist green eyes shining like glass.
“What’s wrong?” Phoenyx asked.
Ayanna looked at the back of the seat in front of her, her eyes unseeing. When she spoke, her voice was more broken than Phoenyx had ever heard it before. “I remember…everything. I loved him. I loved him so much, and I betrayed him. I doomed him to an eternity of suffering.” Her tears broke free again, and she buried her head in her lap once more.
Phoenyx didn’t know what to say. She could think of nothing that would console Ayanna right now. The fate they had doomed Joran to was an unimaginable nightmare. The thought of it made a little pang of fear stab her stomach, and she knew that once her memories of the episode returned, the pang would be much sharper and more painful. What Ayanna must be feeling would be that tenfold. All Phoenyx could do was rub Ayanna’s back.
When Phoenyx looked to her right, she saw that her other three friends were all looking at Ayanna with pity as well. No one had words of comfort. They all just wanted to be there for her. Lily, ever the epitome of empathy, was tearing up and sniffling, her hands fidgeting with the need to comfort Ayanna, who was out of her reach.
After a long few minutes of Ayanna softly crying in her lap, she sat up straight and wiped the tears from her face. She pulled her fluffy ringlets back behind her shoulders and took a deep breath, then, all business once again, said, “Alright, who’s next?”
One right after the other, Ayanna unlocked all their lost memories of Joran. The flood of memories was not quite so all-consuming as it been before, as Joran’s roll in Phoenyx’s life was small comparatively. The headache and nausea were negligible, but the guilt over what they had done to Joran hit Phoenyx like a punch in the gut, momentarily knocking the wind out of her lungs.
It all came back to her—Joran’s marriage to Ayanna, the ritual stabbing of the dagger, how Joran lost his mind and became a despotic tyrant, and the day they buried him alive. Phoenyx knew that what they had done was necessary. It was the only way to keep Joran from taking over the world. Because of the dagger, he couldn’t be killed. He did not deserve to be imprisoned forever—no one deserves that—but they had no choice. There was no other option. But that didn’t ease the crippling guilt.
Once the rush of whirling memories stopped, Phoenyx looked up at Ayanna, amazed that she was now so calm and in control. Phoenyx knew the pain that Ayanna must be feeling. Ayanna had loved Joran just as much as Phoenyx loved Sebastian, and no matter what horrible thing Sebastian could do, if Phoenyx had been forced to sentence Sebastian to that eternal tomb, she could not live with herself. Ayanna’s strength of will never failed to amaze her, and humble her. Ayanna was incredible.
No one talked about their feelings or asked Ayanna how she was doing for the rest of the flight. Ayanna was showing remarkable courage, and none of them wanted to test it and send her back into despair. So they filled her in on the current plan. Ayanna agreed with everything. She showed no wavering confidence about keeping Joran buried, which was astounding because even now, Phoenyx’s guilt was edging her to undo it, even though she knew that if Joran ever was released, he’d be unrecognizable, something truly evil.
No. They had to do whatever it took to keep him from being unearthed. The fate of the world depended on it.
The five of them disembarked the plane in London with determination. They couldn’t afford any delays. They didn’t even wait this time for the xrays at security to show the dagger hidden in Ayanna’s bag, didn’t bother with having Phoenyx compel the guard to ignore the contraband they were smuggling. Skipping that step all together, Sebastian used an illusion to make the backpack invisible to the patrons of the airport during the security check, especially when Skylar levitated it up and over the metal detector so Ayanna could walk through without an issue.
Once out of the airport, the group took a taxi straight to the Four Corners Lodge. Phoenyx couldn’t help but smirk whenever people spoke to them, because everyone here had the same accent as Sebastian, and she loved his accent. The taxi driver pointed out sites to them along the way, telling them touristy tales about the Parliament Building, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, all with a delightful British accent that made her snuggle up against Sebastian, who was smooshed beside her in the back seat.
“How does it feel to be back home?” Phoenyx asked him somewhat teasingly.
Sebastian shrugged. “This place hasn’t been home for a long time. No place is.” He looked at her and smiled. “You are my home.”
Phoenyx’s heart squeezed, but she taunted, “You know how corny that sounds, right?”
“Yep, as soon as I said it,” he laughed. “But it’s still true.” He chastely kissed her forehead. “I would like to see the sites here some time, though. Hopefully we can wrap up this whole thing with Sam and be done with the Four Corners, then we can actually enjoy our destination for once.”
“Dare to dream,” she said, hoping the same thing yet knowing it wouldn’t be that simple.
The taxi pulled up next to a building that was almost a mirror image of the lodge in Prague, just a few stories smaller. Looking out the window at it, Phoenyx wondered if this one had a secret underground dungeon as well, as that seemed to be the theme with these freaks.
Ayanna paid the driver, and they all climbed out of the cab and gathered on the sidewalk. She took stock of their surroundings, then said, “There’s a café across the street. The four of us will wait there while you go inside. Skylar will have eyes on you the whole time—”
“More or less,” Skylar added.
“—so we’ll know right away if you need help, and we’ll come after you,” Ayanna continued. “Are you ready?”
Phoenyx nodded. “I’ll be in and out as fast as possible.”
“Good luck,” Lily said, dismay clear on her face.
Phoenyx tilted her head and gave Lily a reassuring smile. “I promise I won’t hurt him if I run into him, not unless I have to. Besides, after what he did at his house, I’m more worried about what he’ll do to me.” She gave a short laugh, even though her statement was absolutely not a joke. A witch as powerful as Sam needed to be f
eared, and she’d be stupid not to be wary of him.
Without any further ado, Phoenyx turned around and headed for the lodge. She wasn’t exactly sure what her plan was, but she was hoping it would come to her as she went. Not that she had particularly good luck, but she was always pretty good at flying by the seat of her pants.
Taking a preparatory breath, Phoenyx opened the front door and walked inside. The common room was again a twin of the one in Prague. So far this building seemed to have exactly the same layout, and if that were the case, she could probably easily find the office of someone with authority.
But as she walked across the common room, she noticed something that was…off. No one was here. The armchairs and loungers were empty. There were no people going through the halls, no conversations or arguments to be heard behind any of the closed doors. Where is everyone?
Phoenyx picked up her pace as she went through the main hallway, leaping up the stairs to the second floor where there were surely administrative offices. She turned many locked knobs and knocked on several doors, but there were no answers to any of that. Something wasn’t right, this building shouldn’t be empty.
To her immediate relief, she saw someone emerge from an office at the end of the hall, the figure’s silhouette blurred by the light coming in through the tall window behind them. She drew nearer as the figure turned a key in the knob to lock the door from which he’d exited, and he turned his head in her direction.
“Can I help you? What are you still doing here?” an all too familiar voice asked, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
The figure came closer, out of the shrouding light of the window, and Phoenyx could clearly see the face of Vincent Mallick giving her a politely curious look. For an instant, her entire body was paralyzed with shock. She had not been expecting to run into him, not right here right now, especially with everyone else gone. After their last encounter, she had known she would need time to prepare herself to face him again, and she had been planning on that to come after she’d been able to find out where Sam was.
