Jenny looked at him over the rim of her glass, her expression laced with trepidation.
He decided to leap right in. “Why can’t you have a baby?”
She gave that sad half shrug. “It wouldn’t work.”
“Why?” He remembered what she’d told him about the damage from Douglas’s assault. He swallowed hard. “Is there something...uh...physical that could prevent the pregnancy from working?”
“I don’t think so. The problem has always been getting a viable embryo. The specialist said that once I get one and it’s implanted, there shouldn’t be any reason for me not to be able to carry a baby to full term.”
Thank God. “So why wouldn’t it work?”
“I’m not suitable to be a parent.” Her laugh was bitter as she sank onto a chair. “In fact, I’m the last person who should have a child.”
“That’s bull.” He flicked his hand dismissively. “There are thousands, if not millions of people who are ahead of you in line for the worst parent of the year title. Your baby will be lucky to have you as his or her mother.”
Her top lip curled. “Thanks, but no child deserves a mother who’s slept with so many players that no one knows who the father is, other than he’s in the NHL.”
“That’s ridiculous.” He brushed aside the fact that only weeks ago, he might have said something similar. “Who put that crap into your head? Who do I need to beat up?”
“If you could grind Irving’s face to dust, that’d work.”
“With pleasure. What did that jerk say?”
His anger grew as she told him. He’d grind Irving’s balls, too. “Ignore him.”
“He’s only saying what everyone will be thinking.”
Tru arched an eyebrow. “You’ve never worried what people thought before.”
“I don’t care what they say about me. It’s my child I’m worried for. There’s no way my kid will get through school without some kid making a bitchy comment about what ‘Mommy used to do.’”
He wished he could reassure her, but he’d experienced that nastiness. “There’s always someone who’ll shove the knife in and twist. But it won’t be the end of the world. My brothers and I survived it when my dad left us.”
She looked chagrined. “I’d forgotten how rough it was for you.”
He shrugged. “It was a long time ago. Anyway, you stuck up for me. I don’t think Ronnie Dershowitz’s nose was ever the same after you clocked him.”
“Serves him right for being a mean little prick.”
They exchanged grins. “Yeah, well, he’s the only one with lasting scars.”
Jenny looked dubious, as if she could tell he wasn’t being totally honest. “Cruel words always leave scars.”
“I hear worse chirping every time I step on the ice.” He walked to the table and sat next to her. “Even the best mother in the world can’t prevent her child from ever being hurt. There’ll always be a snot-nosed kid who’ll say or do something mean.”
Jenny sighed heavily. “I know, but the stigma I’ll give my child will be brutal. Hard to tell him or her to ignore what people say, when it’s the truth.”
“You can’t give up on your dream because there might be some angst down the line.”
“It’s not that simple.” Her eyes begged him for a solution.
“It’s not as difficult as you think, either.” He took her hand in his, lacing their fingers. “You just need to adjust your tactics to minimize the risk of your opponents scoring.”
“Great pep talk,” she said wryly. “But how do I apply that to real life?”
Thinking aloud, Tru continued the analogy. “You can’t settle back into a defensive position and encourage them to come at you. You have to keep pressing forward.”
“Yes, but people frown on adults driving kids into the boards.”
He shook his head at her. “I mean you have to be proactive. If you want to reduce the odds of your past coming up, you have to stop being someone people talk about. Change the way they see you. Fit into the norm.”
“How much more normal can I get? I haven’t slept with anyone in...” She broke off, blushing. “A long time.”
How long? He ground his teeth to prevent the question from shooting out.
“I can’t change the past and I’m not sure how else I can fit into the norm.”
“Don’t be a single parent.” Where had that come from?
From her startled expression, she wondered the same thing. “Excuse me?”
“The norm is for two parents.” He gave her an apologetic look. “You can have a baby, but you can’t do it alone.”
“But I am alone. What’s more, I don’t want anyone else involved in raising my child.”
“Don’t you think it’s tough to expect a kid to grow up without a father? They need a male influence.”
“Having a male ‘influence’ was far tougher for me,” Jenny snapped back.
“I meant a good male influence. Not having one around was no picnic, either.”
They glared at each other, at an impasse.
Tru tried again. “Surely a child is better off with two parents.”
“In an ideal world, maybe. But there’s nothing wrong with having only one parent. You and your brothers turned out all right.”
“My mom wouldn’t have made it through—none of us would have—without Aunt Tina and Uncle Gio.”
“I get that it was hard. I pretty much raised Lizzie by myself.” She crossed her arms. “I know what I’d be getting into. I’ll have a support network, too, and more than enough male influence.”
The huffiness in her voice made Tru feel as though he was tiptoeing through a minefield. One wrong step and boom. “I’m sure you’d do a great job.” He changed tack. “Going back to your concerns, though, the best way to reduce the chance of speculation about the kid’s father is to have the same man in your life while you’re pregnant and after the baby’s born.”
“But I’m not in a relationship, nor likely to be.”
“What if you pretended to be? Once the guy’s name is on the birth certificate, you can spin a story about how you split up. By the time your child goes to school, they won’t be any different from any other kid with divorced parents.”
“Where am I supposed to find this mythical boyfriend? You can’t pick them up at the grocery store. Besides, who’d want to pretend to be a father to a kid that isn’t his?” She smiled sadly. “No. The time’s come to give up my dream of motherhood.”
Tru hated the dejection in her eyes. “Maybe someday you’ll get married for real and have kids.”
His chest twinged sharply at the thought of the guy who could give Jenny her dream.
“Yeah. That’s not going to happen.” She cleared her throat. “It’s okay. The whole thing was a long shot. At least I tried.”
Tru searched his brain for a Hail Mary play. There had to be a solution—something he was missing. Then it came to him.
“Let me help you.”
“What?” Her eyes widened. “How?”
“I’ll be the ready-made daddy.”
She started to laugh, but stopped when he didn’t join her. “You’re serious?”
Tru waited to be rushed with the panic and dread he’d experienced whenever Melanie had raised the subject of commitment, but nothing came.
“Totally.” His gaze was steady, his voice even. “In fact, what if I was the real father?”
* * *
ANY MINUTE NOW, The Twilight Zone music would start.
Jenny shook her head in disbelief, ignoring the unexpected zing of pleasure that shot through her at Tru’s offer.
“How can you say no so quickly?” he protested.
“I’m not. I can’t believe I heard right.” From his s
teady expression, she obviously had. “You want me to use your sperm?”
“Why not?” His chin lifted defensively.
“Because,” she spluttered, “you and I are...aren’t... We have no... It’s nuts.”
Where was that Twilight Zone music?
Have Tru’s baby?
An image popped into her mind of a child with dark hair and green eyes. Her heart squeezed. A second image followed quickly; a family snapshot of her, Tru and that child.
No! “But that would make things more complicated, not less.”
“The hell it would.” He jumped up and paced. “This way, the story would be real, not an elaborate lie.” He stopped in front of her. “Would it be so bad if I was the father?”
The throb of emotion in his voice tugged at her heart. “The idea was for someone to put their name on the birth certificate, then disappear. Would you walk away from your child?”
Pain flashed in Tru’s eyes. “I’d never do what my father did to me.”
“I know. That’s why your idea creates problems. Like custody issues and parental responsibility and...” Her voice trailed off.
It was a crazy idea. Yet a small voice whispered that it was a practical solution and reminded her this was her last chance to have a baby. It was not as if there was a line of prospects beating a path to her front door.
On the other hand, she’d have to share her baby with Tru. How long would it be before he took control, because he knew better? Before he began to make decisions that opposed hers? Her stomach twisted. “The point was that the baby would be mine.”
“I can’t deny I’d want the child to know I’m his or her father, and I wouldn’t want any doubt that I’d be there for them.” His earnest gaze caught hers. “But this isn’t about me. I’m prepared to give a little to make this work.”
How much was Jenny willing to concede for the chance to have a baby? Was she prepared to have Tru become a major part of her life?
Whatever it takes. No hesitation. No doubt.
“How would this work?”
“We’d have a public relationship while you’re pregnant and after the baby’s born. Then a little while later we’ll quietly ‘split up.’ You’ll have full custody, as long as I get a say in the important decisions and generous access.”
“The final decision about what’s best for the child would be mine,” she shot back.
“As long as you’d at least listen to my thoughts.”
She wavered, uncertain whether she could give even that much to him. “Our relationship would only be for show?”
“We’d have to make it look real, so people believe we’re committed to each other.”
“Committed, how?” Jenny frowned. “You’re not proposing one of those marriages of convenience? Like in the movies, where a couple marries to get a green card.”
He shook his head. “Marriage is too serious a commitment to take lightly or to fake. Besides, for obvious reasons, I don’t believe in divorce.”
Jenny’s heart squeezed at his blunt answer. Not that she’d expected him to say yes. Marriage would definitely have been a step too far. Or would it? Although she’d long since accepted that she wouldn’t marry for love, she’d do just about anything to protect her child’s future.
“Right. Good,” she said firmly, giving no sign of her internal debate. “If we do this, we’ll draw up a legal agreement, spelling out specific terms and conditions, in case things go south or the situation changes for either of us.”
Jenny stopped, suddenly aware she was trying to convince him to agree to something she wasn’t sure she wanted.
The silence stretched out between them as they were both lost in their own thoughts.
“I can’t decide right now,” she said finally, getting to her feet. “I need to think about this carefully. I’m sure you do, too.”
Tru straightened. “It’s your decision. I’ll accept whatever direction you want to go in.”
“Okay.” Jenny nodded. “I should go.”
Tru walked her to the door. “Let me know if Irving gives you any more trouble. I’ll crack a stick over his skull.”
She smiled. “That image will sustain me all the way home.”
“Drive safely.” He reached past her to open the door.
Impulsively, she hugged him. “Thanks for everything.”
He stiffened, but before she could move away, his arms came round her, pulling her against his chest. His cheek rested against her head.
They stood in the quiet of the hallway, their breathing in sync. His heartbeat pounded steadily beneath her ear, in counterpoint to her fluttering pulse.
It felt right.
For those precious seconds, she felt secure. Cared for. She no longer felt as if she was fighting alone.
The low growl of a car going past broke the spell.
Slowly, they pulled apart. He cleared his throat. She tucked her hair behind her ear.
“You’ll...uh, keep me posted on everything?” Tru’s voice seemed deeper than normal.
“Of course.” She walked through the door, then stopped and turned back. “Whatever I decide, your debt to me is settled. This more than makes up for the past.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue, but said, “Let’s see how it works out.”
This time, Jenny didn’t stop until she reached her car. Determined not to look back, she couldn’t resist a peek in her rearview mirror.
Tru stood on the front step, arms crossed, watching, until she turned the corner.
Jenny released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
She knew the sensible solution was to play it safe. But, despite the complications that would undoubtedly result, she couldn’t resist Tru’s crazy offer. Was it worth a deal with the proverbial devil to get another chance to have the baby she yearned for?
Especially as Tru didn’t seem much of a devil anymore?
* * *
JENNY HADN’T BEEN home long when her doorbell rang.
“I have ice cream.” Maggie smiled hesitantly as she held up a bag. “Mint chocolate chip.”
Guilt hit Jenny. She hadn’t seen or spoken to Maggie since her friend’s phone call about her pregnancy. She’d sent flowers, but had ducked any other contact. As happy as she was for Maggie, Jenny hadn’t been ready to deal with the reality of her friend’s joy in person.
Seeing Maggie made Jenny realize how much she’d let her friend down.
She hugged Maggie. “Come in. We don’t want the ice cream to melt.”
“Have you been avoiding me?” Maggie asked, as Jenny got them both spoons.
“Of course not.” Her guilt amped up several notches. “I’m sorry. It’s been so crazy.”
Maggie didn’t look convinced. “I understand, but I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
Jenny longed to share what she’d been going through. To discuss Tru’s offer. Ordinarily, Maggie would have been the first person she’d turn to. But it felt wrong to share all of that when her friend sat there, happily pregnant. What made her feel worse was knowing Maggie would be hurt when she discovered how much Jenny had kept from her.
“You look great. Being pregnant clearly agrees with you,” she said brightly.
Maggie gave her a skeptical look but went with her on changing the subject. “I’ve finally stopped throwing up every hour. I didn’t suffer with Emily, but this time I’ve been blessed with all-day sickness. Of course, now I eat, sleep and pee for England.”
Jenny had no idea if that was good or bad. “But everything’s okay?”
“Oh, yes. Apparently, I’m progressing normally.”
“I bet Jake’s strutting about like a proud rooster.”
“When he’s not clucking
over me like a mother hen.” Maggie rolled her eyes. “I only managed to escape his protective eye because he had a charity thing for the Ice Cats. Emily’s as bad. They’re driving me crazy.”
“You love it.” Jenny smiled, but her mind tuned out as she imagined what Tru would be like if she got pregnant.
She couldn’t see him being any less protective than Jake. Part of her liked the idea of being looked after—that had happened so rarely in her life. But another part bristled at the thought of Tru telling her what she could and couldn’t do.
“You need to distract Jake with a project,” she said finally. “Have you decided on the nursery yet?”
“We’ve chosen a room. We won’t know the sex until the baby’s born, so the decor’s got to be unisex, but I want it to be cute, of course. That’s partly why I came round. I’d love company going around the shops for ideas.”
“Oh...uh...sure.”
Again, Jenny’s emotions were split. “I don’t know anything about babies,” she hedged.
“I don’t need a baby expert. I need your great taste.”
She could tell Maggie wouldn’t take no for an answer. With guilt still chafing inside, Jenny gave in and they agreed to fix a date.
“Enough about me.” Maggie sat back in her chair. “What’s been keeping you so busy? How’s Harry? Any leads on a job?”
“Still no change with Harry’s condition, but I have a job.” She updated Maggie on her offer from The Journal.
“That’s wonderful.” Her friend clapped delightedly. “I bet you’ll be fabulous.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but we’ll see how it goes.
“I thought we Brits were the understated ones.” Maggie shook her head. “I can’t wait for your first article. When does it come out? We’ll have to get it framed.”
Jenny laughed at her friend’s enthusiasm. “I don’t know yet. The plan is for Sam to finish covering the Cats until the finals are done. I’ll take over for the draft and free agency while he recuperates from his hip surgery.”
A Perfect Trade (Harlequin Superromance) Page 14
