by Cindy Kirk
David left July’s room, feeling more unsettled than when he’d walked through the door. Last night, while tossing and turning in bed, he’d considered his options. He could take July at her word that Adam wasn’t his son. But if she was lying, once she left Jackson Hole she’d be taking his flesh-and-blood out of his life forever. Or he could be proactive and find out for sure if that baby in the nursery was his.
He’d told himself her response to his request for a DNA test would reveal the truth. If she refused, it’d confirm his suspicions that she was lying. But she hadn’t refused. At least not directly.
“Can I help you, doctor?”
David looked into the eyes of Rachel Milligan, the emergency room nurse who’d been at July’s side during the delivery. He glanced around the nursery. “What are you doing here? This isn’t the E.R.”
“Very perceptive.” Rachel smiled. “It was slow downstairs so they sent me up here to help out.”
He didn’t know Rachel all that well—she’d only started in the E.R. several months ago—but like everyone in Jackson Hole, he knew of the tragedy that had rocked her world a couple of years earlier. Since she never mentioned the murder of her husband and death of her baby, he hadn’t felt comfortable bringing up the subject.
“What brings you to the nursery?”
David glanced around. He hadn’t consciously planned to make a detour to this part of the hospital but now that he was here he might as well assuage his curiosity. “I stopped by to check on the Greer baby.”
“Of course.” Rachel smiled and he suddenly realized with her honey-blond hair and big blue eyes she was quite pretty. But it didn’t matter. There was no sizzle. Not like there was with July….
While she was retrieving the baby, David scrubbed his hands and put on a gown, wondering why he insisted on tormenting himself. For all he knew this little boy was someone else’s son.
“Here he is.”
David held out his arms and Rachel placed the baby in them. Wrapped securely in a blue blanket and wearing a cap of the same color, the infant didn’t cry, just stared at him with serious eyes.
The rush of emotion took David by surprise as did the powerful connection he felt to this tiny baby. He tightened his arms protectively around the child he’d brought into the world barely twenty-four hours earlier. “He’s so light.”
“He’s small,” Rachel agreed, “but doing really well. Once we get his bilirubin down a bit more, he’ll be able to go home.”
Dave gazed at the tiny face, searching for a family resemblance. Other than the dark hair—now covered—the baby could belong to anyone.
“I only wish the Simpson baby was doing as well.” Although they were alone in this part of the nursery, Rachel spoke in a low tone. “It looks like she’ll have to go home with the feeding tube. Kayla started crying this morning when the doctor told her.”
David had grown up with Kayla Simpson and her husband. This long-awaited pregnancy had been trouble-free, but their little girl had been born with several congenital anomalies. “Has Lexi been up to talk with them?”
Since joining the hospital staff five years ago, the social worker had proven to be a valuable member of the hospital team.
“She’ll be here once she’s done in the ICU.” A look of sadness swept across the RN’s face. “She’s talking to the Evans family about organ donation.”
The six months David had spent at Hennepin in Minneapolis had made him appreciate just how different it was to practice emergency medicine at a large trauma center versus a community hospital like this one. Here, other than tourists, most of the people he treated were ones he knew. Tim Evans, a gregarious high school baseball coach, belonged to his church. The guy had taken a turn too fast on his cycle and had cracked his un-helmeted head on the concrete.
“A life ends.” David dropped his gaze to the baby and stroked the soft cheek with his finger. “Another begins.”
When he looked up and saw the pain in Rachel’s eyes he realized the simple observation had opened an old wound. But before he could say another word, Rachel’s expression cleared and she lifted a hand in greeting. “Here’s Lexi now.”
David shifted his gaze to the social worker. Her smile never wavered, but her eyes filled with curiosity at the sight of the blue bundle in his arms.
Resisting the urge to shove the baby back into Rachel’s care, he met the social worker’s smile with one of his own. “Rachel mentioned the Simpson baby is going home with a feeding tube,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “Sounds like Kayla is taking the news hard.”
“This has been such a shock for both of them,” Lexi said. “But Kayla is a strong woman. She and John will weather this crisis. I’ll make sure they have the support they need.”
David nodded then casually handed the baby back to Rachel. “I have to get going.”
Lexi took a step forward and peered at the baby. “Who’s this little guy?”
“This is Adam Greer,” Rachel explained. “Our emergency room baby.”
“I thought Dr. Watson was following him.”
“He is,” David said, trying not to get defensive. After all, it was a logical assumption. “I don’t get a chance to deliver many babies, so this one is sort of special.”
Lexi lifted a brow. “How’s he doing?”
“Jaundiced, but he should be able to be released in a day or so,” David said.
“I wonder where he’ll go home to,” Rachel mused.
“What do you mean?” Lexi asked.
David’s ears pricked up.
“His mother had been living in the motel across the street from the Community Playhouse before she delivered,” Rachel said. “Hardly a suitable environment for a baby.”
“I agree with you,” Lexi said. “I’ll add post-discharge housing to my discussion list. After I finish here, I’m headed to her room.”
Chapter Five
July stared at the birth certificate application the nurse had left for her to fill out. Apparently she had to complete and turn it in before she was dismissed.
The section asking for her information had been easy. The field for the baby’s name was completed without hesitation. She’d had almost five months—since she’d first learned she was carrying a boy—to decide on his name. But it was the section asking for the father’s information that had stopped her cold.
How could she put David’s name on the application before she’d told him Adam was his son? Still, she couldn’t bring herself to write the word that had been on her own birth certificate.
She’d found hers the summer she’d turned thirteen, stuffed inside a drawer. Though her mother had always maintained her father could have been any one of a number of men, July had thought she was exaggerating. But when she’d seen “unknown” on that birth certificate, her dreams of a father one day appearing on a white horse to rescue her had disappeared like a puff of smoke.
July took a deep breath then let it out slowly. She picked up the pen, still unsure. Unlike her mother, there was no doubt in July’s mind about Adam’s father. But what if David got hold of the certificate? Or some staff member noticed his name on the application and mentioned it to him?
The form was still incomplete when the door creaked open and the social worker stuck her face in the room. “Can I come in?”
“Certainly,” July said.
“I’m sorry about the delay.” The brunette’s heels clacked loudly on the shiny linoleum as she hurried across the room. “I didn’t think I’d be so long.”
“No worries.” July dropped the pen, thankful for the diversion. “I’m still waiting for Dr. Fisher to stop by and release me.”
“What are you working on?” Lexi asked.
“The birth certificate application,” July said, trying not to sigh.
Lexi’s gaze dropped to the form, taking in the part still not completed. “It can be hard to decide what to put there. At least it was for me.”
“You have a child?”
�
�Addie is seven.” Lexi’s perfectly painted lips curved up in a slight smile. “It might sound corny, but she’s the light of my life.”
It didn’t sound at all corny. Though her son was only a day old, July understood. She returned Lexi’s smile.
“Does her father live in Jackson?” From a previous comment July knew the social worker wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean the guy wasn’t in her life.
“Drew lives in Columbus, Ohio,” Lexi said matter-of-factly. “He’s not involved at all.”
“Is his name on her birth certificate?” The minute the question left her lips, July wanted to call it back. Though the social worker had been forthcoming about her personal life, the question was way too personal.
“It is.” Lexi took a seat in the chair by the bed with a gracefulness July envied. “I considered leaving it off. After all, once he found out I was pregnant he didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Yet you put his name on her birth certificate.”
“Drew is her father and him being a jerk doesn’t change that.” Lexi spoke matter-of-factly, without a hint of emotion on her face. “Putting ‘unknown’ would have been a lie. And I didn’t want Addie’s life to start off with a lie.”
July leaned back against the pillow and considered the words. She’d never thought of it that way. But that’s what she’d be doing if she left David’s name off the birth certificate.
“One of my concerns is that Adam’s dad is from Jackson,” July found herself admitting. “I don’t want anyone knowing that he’s my baby’s father.”
Lexi’s expression turned serious. “I can assure you that the hospital places a high emphasis on maintaining confidentiality. This application will immediately go into an envelope and be mailed.”
Yeah, but who puts it in the envelope?
Lexi must have sensed July still wasn’t convinced because she leaned forward and placed a hand on her arm. “If you like I can take care of it myself. No one else will see it.”
July cocked her head. “How about you? Will you look?”
“We’re required to check the form and make sure everything is correctly completed,” Lexi said. “But you can count on my discretion. I’d never betray a confidence.”
July drew a steadying breath. She’d never thought she’d be faced with this decision. Of course, she’d never imagined David would be the one delivering her baby, either.
“Okay,” July said. “Give me a second.”
Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, July quickly completed the form. She paused for a second on David’s date of birth. She knew he was thirty-two but the date escaped her. Until she remembered him saying he was born on the Fourth of July.
She finished that section then handed the paper to Lexi, her palms sweaty, her pulse pounding a rat-a-tat-tat against her temples. “Could you fill in the home address for me? It should be in the hospital records.”
“The father works here?” Surprise filled Lexi’s voice.
July nodded, resisting the urge to snatch the paper back. Dear God, she hoped trusting Lexi wasn’t a mistake.
Lexi scanned the form. July knew the instant she saw David’s name because the social worker’s eyes widened. She glanced up. “Dr. Wahl is your baby’s father?”
“He doesn’t know that Adam is his, not yet,” July said. “But he suspects.”
Lexi met her gaze. There was no condemnation in the amber eyes, not even the slightest hint of judgment. “Your reasons are your business. But if you ever want to talk—”
“I won’t,” July said with extra firmness, making it clear the subject was closed.
Lexi slipped the form into her portfolio. “I’ll get his home address then put this in the mail.”
“Thank you,” July said. “But before you leave, I’d like to get some suggestions from you on places to live.”
July quickly filled Lexi in on her new job assignment. “My ideal location would be a place with child care nearby. I don’t want to leave Adam for any longer than necessary.”
A thoughtful look crossed the social worker’s face. “I know the perfect place. I have a friend who’s divorced with kids of her own. Her house isn’t far from downtown and she’s looking to bring in some extra money. She might even be willing to watch Adam for you.”
“That would be fabulous.” July’s hopes soared. The woman sounded perfect.
Lexi opened her portfolio again and scribbled a name and phone number on the back of her business card. “Give her a call. Be sure and tell her I recommended you.”
July glanced down at the card. “Mary Karen Vaughn. Nice name.”
“You’ll love her.” Lexi’s lips curved in a slight smile. “Leaving Adam with Mary Karen will be like leaving him with…a favorite aunt.”
Once July had gotten settled into her new place, she’d been exhausted and had gone to bed early. But despite overwhelming fatigue, sleep eluded her. So at half past two, she gave up trying. She picked up the phone and called her oldest and dearest friend.
They talked about the baby for a few minutes and about his new gig. Then she told him about David and what she’d discovered. She could tell by the silence on the other end he was waiting for her to get down to the real reason she’d called. July took a deep breath and reminded herself this was A.J. There was nothing she couldn’t say to him.
“I couldn’t do it,” July whispered into the phone. “All I had to do was say, ‘Hey, I told you he wasn’t your son because I thought you were married and I’m sorry I lied.’ Super simple, right?”
“For anyone else it’d be a piece of cake,” A.J. said softly. “But they didn’t have your life.”
July had always considered herself a survivor. She and A.J. had once even officially promised each other that they would not let their past determine their future. But this latest challenge told her the past still controlled her life.
“I hate her,” July said, the words hanging in the air.
“I don’t blame you,” A.J. said. “The woman wasn’t fit to raise a dog.”
“She locked me in a closet for spilling a bottle of booze.” July’s voice rose. The hand holding the phone began to shake. Her heart pounded against her ribs. “It was an accident. I told her I was sorry. I told her over and over and over again. It only seemed to make her angrier. But even when she hit me and told me to shut up, I couldn’t stop saying it. Then she shoved me into that closet. If one of her boyfriends hadn’t gone looking for a coat the next day, I’d still be in there.”
“I know, babe. I know.”
She swiped at her tears. “I don’t know why I’m going on and on. You’ve heard it all before. And it was a long time ago anyway.”
“It may have been a long time ago, but those kind of memories stick with you.”
“I’ve tried to put them in the past. Take those horrible memories and stuff them in some sort of mental box and throw away the key. But that hasn’t worked.” July expelled a frustrated breath. “Every time I even think of telling David I’m sorry I lied to him, it’s like I’m back in that closet, hearing her scream at me to shut up.”
“July.” A.J. paused for a long moment. “You know I’m not big on shrinks….”
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you? You think—”
“I think you’re very strong. I think you wouldn’t have made it through all you’ve had to deal with if you weren’t,” A.J. said in a firm tone. “But I also think you’ve carried this baggage long enough. It’s time you moved on.”
“I’ve tried,” July whispered, feeling more like a failure than ever.
“I know you have. But this is heavy and I’m thinking you might need some help.”
July swiped her sweaty palms against her nightgown. “I want to get past it.”
“Then take the first step. Find a counselor you can trust and share your burden with them. Do it because you’re strong and because you don’t want this to affect your relationship with Adam.”
“I
don’t kn—”
“Promise me, July,” A.J. said. “Promise me you’ll at least give it a try.”
She knew what A.J. was saying made sense. But to share her deepest, darkest secrets with a stranger? Then Adam stirred and when her gaze settled on the baby, her baby, she knew she had no choice.
“Promise me, July,” he said more insistently this time.
July took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ll do it.”
“Good.”
“What about David? What should I do about him?”
“For now—nothing. Cut yourself some slack and trust that when the time is right, you’ll do what needs to be done.”
Her shoulders dropped and she felt some of the tension leave her body. “I love you, A.J.”
“What are friends for?” he said in that cavalier tone he used to hide his true feelings from the world.
He didn’t tell her he loved her back, but she hadn’t expected it. He was that favorite older brother that found it difficult to express his feelings even though you knew he cared. And July knew he cared. That was enough for her.
Chapter Six
David turned onto the highway leading into Jackson, grateful the rain had finally stopped. While he didn’t mind helping out Mary Karen by picking up the twins from a birthday party in Wilson, he couldn’t wait to drop them off and head home.
It had been a long, tiring week made more stressful by the fact that he’d temporarily lost track of July and Adam. When he’d stopped by the motel where July had been living, he’d discovered she’d moved out. Still, he was completely confident—well, fairly confident—they were in the area. After all, Adam had an appointment with the pediatrician next week and he’d heard rumors July was starting a new job. But he was annoyed she hadn’t given him her new address because now he was going to have to track her down.
“I’m cold, Uncle David,” Conner called from the back seat of the Suburban.
“More heat coming right up.” David pushed a button and the fan kicked on. Spring came late to this part of the country. While the jackets the boys wore had probably been adequate earlier in the day, they didn’t provide nearly enough warmth for the now thirty-degree temperature.
