by Cindy Kirk
Adam deserved to have a house with a yard and a swing set out back. He deserved to grow up surrounded by aunts and cousins and grandparents. He deserved the kind of life she’d never be able to give him.
But dear God, how could she ever leave him?
David couldn’t hide his surprise when Mary Karen strolled into the living room at ten past nine and announced the first meeting of the book club had ended.
Though he and Travis had planned to take Mary Karen’s boys to the movies, he’d enjoyed this evening even more. The boys had been disappointed about the movie, until he’d convinced them they could have their own party in the living room and watch a DVD, to boot.
He settled his gaze on the petite redhead standing in the doorway saying good-bye to Lexi and Addie. She’d been okay earlier in the evening but something was definitely troubling her now. Her eyes didn’t have that familiar mischievous glint. Not to mention she hadn’t asked for Adam back.
David glanced down at the little guy in his arms. There was already a connection between them and every hour he spent with the baby only solidified that bond. The buzzing of his phone made the child stir. Though David wasn’t on call tonight he retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the number. Pressing the button to silence the noise, he let it go to voice mail.
“Nothing important?” Travis raised a brow.
“Just Celeste’s old boss,” David said. “I have nothing to say to him.”
“Why is he calling?” Travis downed the last of his soda. “It’s been over two years.”
“He left a couple messages. Says he wants to talk.” David gently stroked the baby’s back until his breathing became regular again. “Gary worked Celeste hard that last year. In fact, I think it was the fear of losing her position with the company that made her balk at taking time off for my parents’ anniversary. She was on her way to the airport for a sales meeting in Miami when she was killed.”
“I remember,” Travis said.
“He was doing his job. I understand that,” David said. “But he’s the reason she was in that car.”
“That’s the past,” Travis said in a low tone. “Over there, in the doorway, is your future.”
David glanced in the direction Travis had indicated. July now stood talking with John and Kayla.
“July?” David scoffed. “Sometimes I’m not sure she even likes me.”
“She likes you all right,” Travis said. “Now it’s time for you to decide what you’re going to do about it.”
July’s cell phone rang at 3:00 a.m. Instead of being fast asleep like everyone else in the house, she’d been standing at the bedroom window watching the rain fall. She recognized the ringtone and hurriedly slid the phone open.
“A.J.” She kept her voice low and glanced at the crib, grateful to see Adam hadn’t stirred. “What’s up?”
“Does something have to be up for me to call my baby-doll?”
His mock outrage made her smile. The slightly slurred words told her all she needed to know. “Someone has been out partying.”
“You know me too well.” He chuckled. “When I got home I remembered what day it was and I had to call.”
“Of course.” July crossed the room, her mind racing. She slipped out of the bedroom and gently closed the door behind her, trying to figure out the significance of the date.
“Don’t tell me you don’t remember?”
The hurt in his voice sounded surprisingly genuine. Unfortunately the days had run together since she’d arrived in Jackson. All she knew was this was Friday…or rather it had been. She hurried down the hall and into the living room.
“Are you kidding?” July grabbed the newspaper off the sofa and focused on the date. April 11. Since it was after midnight that made today the 12. “It’s our pact day.”
April 12, thirteen years ago, had been a low point in both their lives. The foster home where they’d been staying had been okay—as far as foster homes went—but July had gotten word she was going back to live with her mother again. Adam was being sent to detention for fighting.
“We vowed we’d show ’em,” July said. “We’d survive.”
“Not just survive,” A.J.’s voice grew loud. “Overcome.”
“Absolutely.” Despite the reason A.J. had given, July knew he wasn’t calling because of their childhood pact. Something was on his mind. “How’s Selina?”
“Missing me,” he said, his voice filled with satisfaction. “She called me earlier. We had some great phone sex.”
More information than she needed to know, but at least it seemed there was no trouble on that score. “How’s the musical? You’re in Kansas City this weekend?”
“Omaha,” he said. “The crowds have been good but I’ve heard some rumblings that we won’t continue touring after this season. I’m not worried.”
The heck you aren’t.
July knew A.J., knew his insecurities. And now she knew why he’d called. “I wouldn’t worry, either. You’re a fabulous actor and dancer. Whenever you stop this tour, you’ll get yourself another, bigger role. You’ve done so well for yourself.”
“We both have,” he said. “Especially for two kids who grew up without a home.”
“We had a home.” July kept her tone light. “A lot of different homes.”
“Houses, July, not homes. We had a lot of houses, but never a home.” A.J.’s voice grew loud again and she heard a guy in the background yell at him to keep it down. “How’s the baby boy doing?”
“He’s fine.” July didn’t even blink at the abrupt change in topics. Growing up with A.J. had taught her to expect the unexpected.
“Take good care of him.” The intensity behind his words puzzled her. “It’s not easy being a kid.”
A.J.’s voice broke and July realized he must be drunker than she’d first thought. It took a lot of beer to get A.J. emotional.
July’s heart rose to her throat, finding his emotion contagious. “I’ll do my best by him.”
“I know you will.” A.J.’s voice lowered. “I gotta go.”
July clicked off and sank into a nearby chair. She meant what she’d said to her old friend. She’d do her best by Adam. If she only knew what that was.
Chapter Eleven
July didn’t sleep much the rest of the night. A myriad of thoughts tumbled in her head. She’d be a good mother to Adam. She would.
He’d smiled at her again today, really smiled. Oh, Mary Karen had said it was a gas bubble. But when his dark blue eyes had locked on hers and his lips had turned up, there had been a connection. Adam knew her. Adam loved her.
Her head told her that her baby would be better off with his dad. David could give Adam so much more than she could, and not just materially. But how could she walk away from her child? Perhaps shared custody was the answer.
The thought buoyed her spirits for a few seconds. She would find a permanent job. Granted there weren’t many options in the area but her upbringing had taught her how to live cheap. Adam could split his time between her and David. It wouldn’t be ideal but lots of kids did it. At least he’d have his father and his mother.
We had lots of houses but no home. A.J.’s words taunted her.
An ache filled July’s heart. She remembered the feeling of never belonging anywhere. If she and David shared custody would she be dooming Adam to the same fate?
It was time to get to know, really know, the father of her child. And she still had to tell him the truth.
That meant instead of pushing David away, she was going to have to get close to him. With her days in Jackson Hole slipping away, that needed to happen sooner than later.
Despite knowing July had found a new place to exercise, David returned to the Elk Refuge on Saturday. Like many early mornings in April, the temperature hovered just below freezing. David hoped the clean, crisp air would help clear his thoughts. Last night he’d realized how attracted he was to July. Not just on a physical level, either.
He rounded a bend in the
road and skidded to a stop, unable to believe his eyes. The last person he thought he’d see stood stretching by the side of the path. “July. What are you doing here?”
She straightened, not appearing the least bit surprised to see him. “Waiting for you.”
David tilted his head, not sure he’d heard correctly. “You were waiting for me?”
She flashed a smile. “I thought it’d be fun to walk with you this morning. If you don’t mind…that is.”
“Yes. No. I mean I don’t mind.” He took a moment to compose himself. “Walking is a good break for me.”
There. At least that didn’t sound like a gawky teen in the presence of his latest crush.
“Great.” She started hiking down the road.
In several long strides he was beside her.
“I was thinking,” she said when he pulled alongside her, “that it might be fun if we did this every morning.”
“Really?” He stumbled but caught himself. Her rapid turnabouts were giving him whiplash. Must be post-pregnancy hormones.
“Yeah.” She kept her gaze focused on the road ahead. “I enjoyed the last time so much I thought it’d be fun to do it again.”
Was she talking about the exercise or the kiss? His body stirred at the memory of her sweet lips on his. Still, he didn’t want to presume too much. “Sounds good.”
“Okay, then.” Something that looked a lot like relief crossed her face. “Got big plans for tonight?”
“I’m going to a hospital fundraiser at the Country Club.” David knew he should feel more excited about the event, but he couldn’t seem to drum up much enthusiasm. Still, he was getting out and that was a first step.
“Dinner?”
“Followed by a dance,” David said. “There’s also a silent auction and a fashion show by staff.”
A mischievous glint filled July’s eyes. “Are you modeling?”
“Absolutely not.” That’s where David had drawn the line. As a member of the medical staff, he was required to attend, but parading across the stage…no way.
July picked up the pace. “Do you socialize a lot?”
“Only what’s required,” David said. “But after your remark the other day, I’m trying to change.”
July slanted him a sideways glance. “What did I say?”
“Basically you told me I needed to get a life.”
“I did not say that.”
“It’s okay.” David smiled. “You were right. I’ve been going through the motions for way too long. I’m ready to start living.”
The entrance to the Refuge was in sight. While walking with David had given July additional insight into his character, more time was needed. She had to figure out a way to get him to ask her out. Maybe as she became more comfortable with him, she’d be able to be honest about Adam’s paternity.
Unfortunately she’d spent so much time pushing David away she wasn’t sure that would happen. She slanted a sideways glance at his handsome profile.
The clock was ticking. In a couple weeks her assignment would be completed and she’d have a decision to make about Adam’s future.
“About this event tonight, can people bring dates?”
“Of course,” David said, sounding surprised. “The event is open to the community.”
Though she wasn’t much for big fancy galas, this would be the perfect opportunity for some one-on-one time with David. Seeing him in a tux would be an extra bonus. July slowed her steps and turned to face him. “I was thinking, if you aren’t already planning to go with someone, can I come and be your date?”
She braced herself for an enthusiastic yes. Maybe even a hug. She waited. And waited. And waited.
His eyes locked with hers. “I wish I’d known this last week before—”
July’s heart sank to her toes. A sick feeling took up residence in the pit of her stomach. “Before?”
“Before I asked Rachel Milligan to go with me.”
July took a sip of juice and peered over the top of the glass at Mary Karen. She’d been waiting since she’d walked into the kitchen for just the right opportunity. With the baby fed and Mary Karen’s boys still sleeping, this seemed to be it. She lowered the glass and forced a casual tone. “Did you know your brother is taking Rachel Milligan to the hospital fundraiser tonight?”
Mary Karen dropped a bagel into the toaster, pushed down the lever and turned to face July. “I’m happy to hear that.” She paused and her gaze searched July’s face. “That’s not good?”
“No, it’s great.” July shoved her bowl of Raisin Bran aside, no longer hungry. When David had told her he had a date—okay so maybe he hadn’t called it a date—it had been all July could do to keep it together.
Not because she cared who he dated, but because she felt like a fool for assuming she could beckon and he’d come running.
“July?” Mary Karen dropped into the chair next to her. “Are you interested in dating my brother?”
July resisted the urge to shush her. Granny stood outside the kitchen window mulching the rose bushes, and they both knew the woman had ears like a bat. Instead, she lowered her own voice and forced a casual tone. “I might be.”
If “dating” was the only way to resolve her dilemma, then yes, she was definitely interested.
“That’s wonderful.” Mary Karen’s lips parted in a wide smile.
“Did you somehow miss the part where I told you he’s taking Rachel to the dance?”
“They’re just friends,” Mary Karen said with a dismissive wave.
“She’s very pretty,” July said with a sigh. “And sweet.”
“Trust me,” Mary Karen said. “There’s nothing between them.”
“I was looking forward to going to the event,” July said, realizing it was true.
“It’s always fun.” A wistful expression crossed Mary Karen’s face. “I used to attend every year.”
“Even if David would have wanted to go with me, I wouldn’t have had anything to wear,” July said with a sigh.
Mary Karen brought a finger to her lips. “I think I have something that would work.”
“It doesn’t matter.” July should be in the Jeep with her camera beside her, heading for the mountains. Instead she remained in her seat, nursing a barely warm cup of coffee. “I’m certainly not going by myself.”
“I could go with you.” Mary Karen’s voice grew stronger with each word.
“A girls’ night out? You and me?” July’s heart picked up speed but she wasn’t going to get too excited. Not yet anyway. “What about a babysitter?”
Bless Granny’s heart but watching four boys under the age of five would be asking too much.
Mary Karen’s smile faltered for a minute, then brightened. “Esther Wilkins from church is recently widowed. Her grandchildren live out of state. She’s told me more than once how much she’d love to watch the boys.”
“That takes care of your sons,” July said. “What about Adam?”
“She loves babies,” Mary Karen said. “You can trust her with him.”
Though July was excited about spending the evening with Mary Karen, Adam’s welfare came first. “Are you sure she can handle four little boys?”
Mary Karen chuckled. “I should hope so…she raised five of her own.”
July smiled. “What are we waiting for? Give her a call. Then you can show me the dress.”
Chapter Twelve
July resisted the urge to bolt. The lobby of the Spring Gulch Country Club had been decorated with hundreds of fresh flowers. But it was the men in tuxedos and women in evening attire that made July want to turn tail and run.
The atmosphere was so far removed from what she’d known most of her life, she felt as if she didn’t belong.
“Everyone looks so beautiful,” July whispered to Mary Karen as they stood in the doorway surveying the scene.
“They look beautiful,” Mary Karen said. “But you look stunning.”
July flushed with pleasure at the unexp
ected compliment. The kelly green cocktail sheath fit like it had been made for her. Mary Karen admitted she’d bought the dress several years ago at a closeout sale without trying it on. Not only was it too small, the color was all wrong for her.
Mary Karen’s black dress may have been simple but it hugged her curves in all the right places. And it wasn’t just the dress. July had been used to seeing the young mother fresh-faced with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She’d never have believed the difference makeup and some hot rollers could make if she hadn’t seen the transformation with her own eyes. When Mary Karen had walked out of the bedroom earlier in the evening and whirled around, even little Logan had started clapping.
“You’re the stunning one,” July said.
Mary Karen laughed. “I’d say we both clean up pretty good.”
July smiled and felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. “Dinner isn’t for almost a half hour. Shall we check out the silent auction?”
Mary Karen waved to some friends across the foyer. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
The tables with the silent auction items filled the perimeter of a large room just off the country club’s foyer. A huge rustic stone fireplace served as the focal point for the room. Chandeliers made out of antlers hung from the angled ceiling. Though the room teemed with people, because it was so open and airy July didn’t feel crowded.
She made her way down the tables, but nothing caught her eye until she saw the ring. The large heart-shaped moonstone held by two carved silver hands immediately jumped out at her. She paused and scanned the information on the item.
“Do you know there is a whole history tied to these Claddagh rings?” she said over her shoulder to Mary Karen. “How you wear it even has significance.”
“I didn’t know that.” The deep masculine voice reached her ears just as July caught a hint of familiar cologne.
