by Cindy Kirk
“Your mommy doesn’t yell.”
“Sometimes she does.”
“That’s still no reason not to tell the truth. You understand?”
“Yes, sir.” Caleb hung his head.
“I’m proud of you for telling me.” David tousled the boy’s hair. “I want you to promise me that tonight, once everyone has left, you’ll tell your mom.”
“What about the en-velope?”
David held out his hand. “Give it to me. I’ll see what I can do with it.”
Caleb whipped the envelope out from behind his back and slapped it in David’s open palm.
“Thanks, Uncle David,” Caleb raced toward the back of the house. “I’m gonna go play with Connor.”
David smiled and shook his head. Raising children wasn’t easy. He didn’t know how Mary Karen managed on her own. Thankfully, if July accepted his proposal, Adam would have both a mother and a father.
He glanced down at the envelope. This wasn’t junk mail. This looked official. And from the address crossed off the front, it had already been all the way to Chicago and back.
As he studied the torn envelope a pink sheet of paper with a raised seal dropped to the floor. He bent over to pick it up and realized it was Adam’s birth certificate.
The hospital and delivery date and time were on there along with July’s information. His heart stopped beating at the sight of his name and demographic information.
“I’m Adam’s father,” he murmured. He dropped into a nearby chair, trying to wrap his brain around the paper in his hand.
“There you are,” July said. “The food is on the table—”
She stopped. “What’s wrong?”
“You tell me.” He flung the certificate on the table. “You read this and tell me what’s going on.”
The room closed in around July. Murky gray replaced the light. She reached over and snatched up the paper. The moment her gaze landed on the raised seal, she knew. She opened her mouth to explain but nothing came out. She’d seen hurt and anger and pain in David’s eyes Friday night. She saw all those emotions again now. Only this time she was the cause.
“You knew he was my son all along, didn’t you? Yet you lied to my face. And all these weeks you continued to lie. Why?”
July stood frozen. Her lack of response seemed to fuel his anger.
“And what about the DNA test? Was that another lie? What were you going to do, leave town without having it done?” His voice grew louder. “Were you going to take my son away and never let me know he was mine?”
July took a step back. First one. Then two. Her heart slammed against her ribs.
“You’re not sorry at all, are you? Just like Celeste. You played me for a fool. The funny thing is I loved you. Heck, I even wanted to marry you.”
For a second his expression crumpled and all she could see was the pain.
Reach out to him, she told herself. Tell him you’re sorry.
“Why did you—?” He stopped himself. “I have to leave. Tell Mary Karen that I, oh hell, tell her whatever you want. You’re good at making things up.”
Without another word he spun on his heel.
“David,” she finally managed to croak out. “Don’t go.”
But it was too late. He was already gone.
Chapter Eighteen
“He hates me,” July said to A.J, keeping her voice low so she wouldn’t wake Adam, asleep in his crib. She’d been surprised when he’d answered his phone on the first ring. She was tempted to say it was divine providence but after today, she didn’t believe in providence, divine or otherwise.
“Did you explain?”
July swallowed hard. She would not cry. She would.not.cry. “He didn’t give me the chance.”
“He didn’t give you the chance? Or you didn’t take the chance?”
July had called A.J. hoping he’d make her feel better. Instead she was feeling worse by the second. “I froze up,” she admitted. “But it didn’t matter. He’d already made up his mind that I was in the wrong.”
“I hate to tell you, babe, but news flash—you were in the wrong.”
“I know,” July said with a heavy sigh. “And I’ve already been tried, convicted and found guilty. There’s nothing more for me to do.”
“Ever hear of throwing yourself on the mercy of the court?”
“I don’t deserve mercy.” Her heart twisted, remembering the hurt she’d seen in David’s eyes before the anger flared.
“Everyone deserves mercy,” A.J. said softly. “You have to try, July. If not for your sake, do it for Adam.”
“What if David won’t forgive me?”
“Life will go on. But at least you two won’t be apart because of words left unsaid.”
July realized he was right. She had to at least try.
“I love you, A.J.”
There was a long silence.
“I love ya too, babe.”
The last person David wanted to see at his door the next morning was his sister. He groaned aloud. “What do you want?”
Mary Karen’s eyes narrowed. “Rude much?”
“I’m sorry. Please, come in.” David raked a hand through his hair and stepped aside to let her enter. He hadn’t slept at all last night. He didn’t just feel exhausted, he felt angry and edgy and not very hospitable. He hated not having answers. And right now all he had were questions.
Last night the incident with July had been too fresh and his emotions too raw for him to objectively analyze the situation. But even in the light of day, he still didn’t understand. Why had she done it? Why hadn’t she simply told him Adam was his son? Why wouldn’t she explain?
Mary Karen brushed past him and stopped in the foyer. Her gaze searched his face. “You look like hell.”
He twisted his lips in a semblance of a smile. There was an odd comfort in knowing he looked as crappy as he felt. “Thank you.”
“That wasn’t a compliment,” Mary Karen said with a wry smile.
“I was about to make some coffee.” He forced a conversational tone, hoping to make up for his abrupt behavior earlier. “Would you like some?”
Her expression softened. “What I’d really like is to know what’s going on between you and July.”
“Join the club.” David turned and pushed the door shut. He closed his eyes for a second and fought for control. What Mary Karen didn’t understand was there was nothing going on between him and July. Not anymore. He had questions. She refused to give him answers. Exhaling a harsh breath, he faced his sister. “It’s complicated.”
Mary Karen searched his eyes but she didn’t say a word. Instead she strolled into the living room and dropped into the closest chair. “It doesn’t appear complicated to me.” She placed her bag on the floor and crossed her legs. “Let’s recap. You pull a disappearing act. July goes to her room with a headache. Through the walls I can hear her crying.”
While David told himself that July should feel bad for what she’d done, the thought of her in tears ripped his heart open. Though she presented a strong face to the world, he knew the gentle soul that lay beneath the tough exterior.
“It’s obvious you two had an argument,” Mary Karen continued. “What I want to know is why you’re not at my house right now making up.”
“It’s complicated,” David said.
“You said that already.” Like a good sister, Mary Karen didn’t appear inclined to give him a break and drop the subject.
His sister didn’t understand that July’s lies had brought him to his knees. Especially coming on the heels of the news about Celeste….
“Did you know Celeste cheated on me?” The words burst from his lips before he could stop them. But once they were out David realized how much he needed to talk. Not only about July, but about Celeste’s infidelity.
“Oh, David.” Sympathy filled Mary Karen’s gaze. “I’m so sorry. When did you find out?”
“A couple days ago.” He sat on the sofa opposite her chair. “Yeah, it
’s been a great week. My life went from the stratosphere to the toilet practically overnight.”
He attempted a chuckle but it fell flat.
“Did you suspect anything?” Though they were the only two in the room, Mary Karen spoke in a hushed tone.
“I don’t know if I had my head in the sand or what, but no. I never thought she’d cheat.” To his horror, his voice trembled on the last word. He cleared his throat. “I thought we had a good marriage.”
“I’m sure in many ways you did,” Mary Karen said slowly as if she was carefully choosing her words. “But from the little I observed, your communication seemed pretty superficial. Of course I wasn’t there with you 24/7, so I could be totally off base.”
Granted, most of his conversations with Celeste had been about logistics—when her next trip was scheduled or what parties they wanted to attend—but they’d talked about the future and what they wanted out of life, too. “Are you saying I was a bad husband? That it’s my fault she had an affair?”
“I didn’t say that.” Mary Karen met his gaze. There was compassion in her eyes, not blame. “I’m saying if you play the victim you won’t learn from this experience. Steve made his share of mistakes but I made some, too. We had problems. Deep down I knew they were there. But instead of dealing with them, instead of talking to him, instead of listening to him, I pretended everything was fine.”
David paused for a moment. Had he done the same with Celeste? He supposed it was possible. Anything was possible. “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe I did have my head buried in the sand. But I felt like we had a good relationship.”
“Maybe you did. Maybe you kept those lines of communication open and it didn’t matter. Anyway, there’s nothing you can do about it now. Celeste is gone.”
That was one of the realizations he’d come to during the wee hours of the morning. There was nothing he could do now except forgive her, vow to do better in his next marriage.
Next marriage.
He loved July. Before finding out about her duplicity he’d wanted to marry her. To make a home for her and Adam. To build a life together. Heck, who was he kidding? It was what he still wanted.
“Did the news about Celeste have anything to do with the fight you had with July?” Mary Karen’s question broke through his thoughts.
David shook his head. “It was an entirely separate matter.”
“Are you sure there was no crossover, no fallout?” Mary Karen gently probed. “When something upsets me at work, if I’m not careful it can easily spill over into my home life.”
“The news about Celeste’s affair has been eating at me,” he admitted. “Until last night, I hadn’t taken the time to process it, to deal with her lies. When I discovered—this thing with July happened—I may have reacted more strongly than I would have otherwise.”
“Talk to July,” Mary Karen urged. “Apologize. Make things right.”
“I did try, Mary Karen. I wanted to hear her side of the story. But she clammed up.”
“You said you reacted strongly. Did you raise your voice to her?” Concern filled his sister’s blue eyes. “I don’t know why, but for some reason confrontation of any kind freaks July out, especially when yelling is involved.”
“I may have raised my voice, but she still could have told me the reason—” David paused, suddenly remembering the way July had shrank back as his voice had grown louder. The puzzle pieces clicked into place.
With Celeste he hadn’t been able to figure out where he might have shut down two-way communication. With July, it had been staring him in the face.
“I didn’t show her that I was willing to listen.” Shame warred with regret. He knew July. He knew her heart. There was a reason she hadn’t told him Adam was his son. And she would tell him that reason, in her own time and in her own way. His heart lifted and for the first time since he’d stormed out of his sister’s home, he felt hopeful about the future.
“The good news is that this is a new day.” Mary Karen smiled as if picking up on his change of mood. “The best news of all is…you get to have a second chance this time.”
July glanced at her watch. Before Mary Karen had left to run errands that morning, she’d asked July to meet her for a walk in the Elk Refuge at two.
Although Granny and David’s mother were watching Mary Karen’s boys, July had planned to bring Adam along. But when she’d gotten ready to leave, Granny had insisted she leave him with her. Without the baby to get ready, July had arrived at the refuge earlier than she’d planned. Which unfortunately only gave her more time to think.
She couldn’t believe she hadn’t responded to a single one of David’s questions. Still, she hadn’t run. That was a breakthrough for her.
After talking with A.J. last night, July had decided to give David a day or two to cool off. Then she’d contact him and explain. Even if he didn’t forgive her, hopefully at least he’d understand. He was Adam’s father. Her son might not end up with two parents in the same house but he deserved a mother and father on speaking terms.
She sighed and glanced at her watch. She’d sworn Mary Karen had said two o’clock.
Finally at ten past two she heard the crunch of gravel. She turned, her lips already tipped in welcome. “I was wondering where—” Her smile froze even as her heart skipped a beat. “David.”
“Hello, July.” He looked as uncomfortable as she felt, hunching his shoulders inside his jacket, his expression wary, as if he was uncertain of his welcome. He gestured with one hand to the open range land. “Would you go for a walk with me?”
Regret rose inside her. This would have been the perfect opportunity for them to talk. “I can’t. I’m meeting your sister.”
“Something came up.” He slid his hands into his pockets, shrugging one shoulder. “I’m her replacement.”
July paused. Had something truly come up or had she been set up? Did it even matter?
“If that’s okay with you?” he asked, his eyes anxious.
“That’s great,” she said. “I mean, that’s fine with me.”
David seemed relieved, a little of the tension leaving his shoulders. He started to walk and she fell into step beside him. July wasn’t sure what was going on but they were together and there were no raised voices or yelling. That had to be a good thing. Right?
“I wanted to talk to you.” He cleared his throat. “But after how I acted last night I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”
How he’d acted?
“I had some things I wanted to say, too.” July wasn’t sure if it was her or him but David seemed more approachable today, and for the first time July knew she could do this. Because standing next to her was her son’s father. The man she loved. “In fact, I was going to call you tomorrow.”
“You were?” He grinned, a quick flash of teeth, gone in an instant.
July nodded. For a second the familiar panic rose inside her but she took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “I owe you an explanation.”
“And I owed you the courtesy of listening.” He offered her an encouraging smile. “I’m sorry about yesterday. There was no excuse for my behavior.”
July’s heart began to pound and her mouth turned dry. She shoved her hands into her pockets, inhaled another deep breath and took a leap of faith. “My mother hit me and locked me in a closet for two days when I was nine for being clumsy and saying I was sorry and I haven’t been able to apologize to anyone since.”
Her chin quivered, and she pressed a hand to her mouth.
David had been so focused on the green eyes that had gone dark and empty it took a few moments for her words to register. When they finally did, it was like being punched in the gut. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. What kind of monster would do that to a child? To her own child? To July?
If there was some way he could wave a stethoscope and make her pain vanish, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But that wasn’t possible. And while he was a doctor, he wasn’t a therapist specially
trained in child abuse issues. He was simply her friend. And someone who loved her.
He touched her arm in a comforting gesture but she was lost in the memory and didn’t appear to notice. She kept walking, her gaze focused on the distant mountains. Finally she stopped and turned to face him. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes.
“I told you Adam wasn’t your son because I thought you were married,” she said quietly. “But even if you had been married, you had a right to know. Then I found out you were a widower. I tried to tell you so many times—I wanted to tell you—but I could never seem to get the words out.”
David smiled encouragingly, resisting the urge to pull her into his arms, sensing it was important for her to get this all out.
“I went to a shrink—a counselor—and he’s been helping me face my fears, to realize that no one is going to lock me in a closet for apologizing or admitting to making a mistake.” Though she was shaking hard she straightened her shoulders and looked him right in the eye. “I’m sorry I continued to let you think Adam wasn’t your son. I’m so…so…so…incredibly sorry.”
The trembling morphed into a shudder and several tears slipped down her face.
“Oh, honey.” David finally wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry, too. For so many things. I shouldn’t have walked out of your life last year. And when I found the birth certificate, I should have asked for—not demanded—an explanation. I blew up, and that is never acceptable. Heck, I treated my nephew better than I treated you.”
July wasn’t sure what her situation had to do with his nephew’s but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was there were no more lies between them, no more secrets. Except maybe one…
She drew back far enough to look into his eyes. “I love you, David. But I understand if you don’t feel the same about—”
Suddenly his mouth was on hers, his arms holding her tight as if he’d never let her go, and July didn’t have to think, she only had to feel. By the time his lips finally left hers, she was trembling. Not with fear, but with the realization that for the first time, she could believe it was going to be alright.
