Sarah laughed wildly. “Are you kidding me? Have you seen this place since you got here? Everything is working better. I mean it, Cole. Not just the play yard or the dogs or even me. Shelly is happier. Les has found his protégé. And...we need you. This will blow over eventually. Things like this always do.” Sarah reached over to take his hand. “Listen to me. You aren’t going anywhere. That trial period? It’s over. You’re permanent. Don’t you even try to wiggle out of my clever trap now.”
Her certainty was nice, but he knew what he had to do. This was what he’d expected all along. The villagers had picked up their pitchforks, and what Paws for Love did for the animals was more important than his paycheck.
And if he had any idea where the next paycheck might come from, he’d already be out the door.
Rebecca touched his shoulder and it was impossible to move. “Cole, listen.” She smiled, but her eyes didn’t brighten. He’d spent a lot of time thinking about her real smile. This one, the encouraging but false one, was dissatisfying because it was for his benefit alone. “We need you. I know you hate that, but you’ve already made us depend on you.”
Cole grunted. “That’s low.”
Rebecca wrinkled her nose. “I know. I play dirty when I have to.” She squeezed his hand. “Promise me you won’t let this derail you or the shelter.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m not making another promise, Rebecca. I’m losing faith in my ability to keep them. All I had to do was stay out of trouble, and I can’t manage that.”
“This is about me as much as you. People are disappointed with me or surprised or angry that I’m not acting like they want me to, but none of that matters here. I’ll keep my distance. You’ll keep the shelter doors open. We’ll regroup when this is over.” Rebecca straightened her shoulders. “It’ll be like this week and we all made it through.”
Disappointment crashed over Cole.
He wouldn’t see her. He wouldn’t have to anticipate her arrival in the afternoon, dawdling long enough for her to come in so that he could catch sight of her smile once before he left. They wouldn’t be alone in the play yard or in her kitchen or even on a sidewalk in the middle of town.
Which was better for her. Without the eyewitness account of their moment in front of the diner, Cole was almost certain this story would have been a blip. Maybe the parents whose kids worked at the shelter would have been worried, but this amount of coverage in the newspaper would never have happened.
Something like grief stole his breath and the jumble of his thoughts tied his tongue. His only consolation was that she didn’t seem any happier about the arrangement. If the shimmer in her eyes turned to tears, he’d... He wasn’t sure what he’d do. What did trained bears do when their emotions overwhelmed them?
Hide. That was what all wounded animals did. He used to be good at that. Then she came along and he could see how caring and trying mattered. Watching Eric at this shelter had changed him. So had EW’s help and Sarah’s support and it felt completely wrong to let this situation go down this way. There had to be something he could do to help.
Unfortunately, the person he’d look to for inspiration had wilted into the chair as if she was too tired to stand. Was she quitting? “No check or amount of money to smooth things over, huh? So you’ll stand by instead of jumping in. Or worse, you walk away? Good people don’t do that. Isn’t that what you told me? I’m not your project, but this is and you just...” He was so mad he couldn’t come up with the words.
Escape was the only answer. Breathing was easier when he stepped outside, but for once he wanted the searing heat of August, not the beauty of a cool September. He couldn’t believe he’d lost control like that. He could not contain the disappointment. It felt a little like betrayal. She couldn’t walk away the minute things got difficult.
Except she could. How nice for her.
“Eric’s not coming today,” Cole said as he slid in beside EW and slammed the door. “Too much work.”
“Well, now, that means more fish for us,” EW said calmly as he drove out of the parking lot. The silence stretched between them until Cole couldn’t stand it any longer.
“I knew this would happen. I was right. This is how it feels to dream.” At least his mouth was twisted in bitterness. That was a manly emotion. All the rest of them, they could stay stuffed down where they belonged.
A beleaguered sigh was EW’s only response.
“What?” Cole snapped. “I was right.”
“Young fella, you wear me out,” EW said. “You got to learn there ain’t nothing permanent here. Good times is good. Bad times is bad. Ain’t neither one of them forever. Just a bunch of gossip that made it into the newspaper anyhow. Happens ever’ week.”
“This time, it’s jeopardizing the shelter and my job.” And making him want to do something.
“Well, now, here’s the part you forgot.” EW tilted his head down and waited for Cole to answer.
“What?”
“You want good? You go get it. It’s on you to make the change.” EW rolled his eyes. “Kids. Always thinkin’ they so smart and forget the most important piece. Work.”
The truck was rolling. That was a good thing. Cole wanted to slide out of the seat and slam the door so hard the thing might never open again.
None of his rage bubbled over to EW, though. His friend whistled a tune and said, “Sure is a pretty day today.”
Cole leaned an elbow on the truck door and pressed his forehead against his clenched fist. Hard.
Eventually, the cool breeze and EW’s odd whistled tune eased some of the tension until he could get his brain working again. Was he going to retreat into his cave, go back to the way things were? Could he stop caring now that she’d convinced him to start? Frustration and unwilling respect warred inside him. Whatever happened with Rebecca would happen. That had no effect on what he could do himself if he tried. He was still so angry with her that he could yell, but he had to admire how well she wiggled her way through defenses to improve who a person was on the inside.
Then he realized that instead of just being mad, he could take that emotion, control it, do something with it. That was the man he was going to be, one who did something instead of ducking his head to avoid trouble.
“I need to make a stop.”
EW raised an eyebrow.
“At the newspaper.” Cole squeezed his eyes shut and then nodded. “Because you’re right. If I want good things, I’m going to have to work at them.” He tipped his chin up. “And I’m not afraid of work.”
EW tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Maybe I oughta know some more about this visit to the newspaper office. We’ve already established you don’t have the mind for any criminal activity.”
Cole couldn’t stop the surprised laugh. No matter how bad his temper got, EW rolled along. And he didn’t hold any grudges. Everybody should have a friend like him. “Since brownies have replaced beer as your favorite compensation, I’ll owe you a whole pan.”
EW tilted his head. “Still need to know what you’re planning to do at the newspaper office.”
Cole exhaled loudly. “I’m going to issue an invitation. And I’m going to put in the work to get what I want.”
“Well, all right, then. Here we go.” EW’s whistles picked up in volume and cheer even if they still didn’t make a song. Cole closed his eyes and offered his best, awkward wish that his plan worked.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“I’LL MAKE THE offer one last time. Let me stay here, help out.” Cole opened the passenger door on the van early Tuesday and waited for Sarah to answer. He didn’t want to return to Austin or Travis. He wanted to stay here where he was comfortable and knew what to expect. Sure, the place had lost a bit of its shine since he hadn’t seen Rebecca in days, but there was still the fact that he could come
and go as he liked. There were no guards, no fences, no rules that said he couldn’t leave.
“In the seat, mister,” Sarah muttered as she buckled her seat belt. “It’s too early for me to be having this conversation. I’ve had no coffee. We will fix that on the way through town and then I will be much more cheerful. Until then, sit down and hold on.” She started the van. “I need that coffee.”
Cole followed directions without another word. Whatever he’d thought about Sarah Hillman on his first visit to Paws for Love, he’d come to respect her brain and her heart. And it was easiest to keep his mouth shut. She pulled into a fast-food drive-through, ordered large black coffees for them both, even though he didn’t drink the stuff, paid and then hit the highway. About ten miles down the road, she stretched. “Okay. I will now make conversation like a normal human being. Good morning, Cole.”
Cole was surprised at how quickly she could lift his mood. He’d dreaded this day for weeks, but sitting beside her, he believed it was all going to work out. Should he warn her about his surprise visitor?
Sarah drained her cup and then reached over to snatch the one he’d been holding. “Thanks. Beautiful weather, right?” He thought about warning her that too much caffeine would stunt her growth, but with every sip, Sarah brightened. There was no way the institutional walls of Travis would be able to dim her for long.
“Looks like this is it. There’s Rebecca.” Sarah pointed as she turned the steering wheel to take the parking spot next to Rebecca’s.
There she is. The fact that his heart sped up was the worst kind of romantic cliché, but it was impossible to ignore. Then he remembered that the hurt and anger had simmered down but he was still irritated with her failure to fight.
Instead of the professional dress she chose for work, today Rebecca had gone for jeans and a Paws for Love T-shirt. It satisfied all the prison’s dress code rules for visitors. And they were a team.
If she’d seemed like her sunny self, he might have said the right thing to start a fight. Instead, she was a pale copy of herself, but the determination in her eyes was familiar. He didn’t want to fight. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and promise everything would work out.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Sarah asked as she waved a hand to indicate Rebecca’s outfit.
Rebecca studied her clothes. “Why? Everything’s covered the way it should be.”
Cole knew immediately what Sarah meant. Wearing that shirt to school after their visit to Travis would be like waving the red flag, daring the principal to charge.
“Aren’t you going into work after this?” Sarah pointed at Rebecca’s car. “That’s why you wanted to drive yourself, so you could leave early if you have to. And what about the school board meeting tonight?”
Rebecca ran a hand through her curls. “Oh, well...” She shot a quick look at Cole. “I won’t be a part of the school board meeting, not in the meeting, at least. They’ve asked any parents to air their concerns, but Art made it clear my presence was not required.” Rebecca cleared her throat. “I thought I was late. We should get inside.”
“Okay,” Sarah said, “let’s do this.” She motioned with her chin at the door, her eyebrows raised in question at Cole.
Yes, that was the way in, but his tongue was doing that thing again where it was frozen in place. All these jumbled feelings. Were they a terrible or reassuring sign that he was returning to life?
Cole yanked the door open.
They were silent through the check-in and the old tension and certainty that someone was watching him at all times settled over Cole, the tingle across the nape of his neck familiar. Breathing became something he had to think about.
Breathe in. Breathe out. No one is going to try to stop you from leaving.
Having a panic attack would kill him, so he had to get control. He tried counting. Then he pictured himself calmly working in the yard at Paws for Love. That was where he was most comfortable.
Before he had a full handle on his emotions, a guard let them into the receiving room where all the graduation ceremonies for Prison Partners were held. It was big and open with harsh fluorescent lights and gray linoleum. There were enough chairs for all the visitors on the list. The inmates and their dogs lined the wall farthest away from the entrance.
“What is she doing here?” Sarah whispered as she pointed at the newspaper reporter. Hayley Michener had chosen a seat front and center. The camera she held in one hand suggested she was prepared to get the perfect shot to illustrate her story.
She’d better. After Cole had stopped in at the newspaper, he’d had to move mountains to get her name cleared in time for the ceremony. David Thomas, the program coordinator, was probably still irritated with him.
Not that it showed in David’s wide grin as he crossed the room. “Cole Ferguson. I never thought I’d get a chance to say this again, but it’s good to see you.” He offered his hand and Cole shook it as he introduced Sarah and Rebecca. David shook hands but said in a low voice, “There’s your friend, in the front row. If I wasn’t happy to have the publicity, any publicity, you’d owe me big-time for that.”
Sarah and Rebecca stared hard at him before they took the chairs David pointed them toward. “Have a seat. We’re about to start.”
There was no stage. No podium. No officials in fancy dress, just sixteen inmates holding leashes for sixteen well-mannered dogs who either sat or lounged at their feet. There was no music. No fanfare. And when the ceremony was over, the inmates would go back inside. They would say goodbye to the dogs they’d shaped and return to their bunks.
Cole couldn’t catch his breath. Before the thing even started, he was going to pass out. Rebecca stood up, took his arm and shoved him down in her chair. Had he been gasping for air? He had to get out. Rebecca’s hand came down to clamp hard on his shoulder. To move, he’d have to shake it off.
“I want to thank you all for coming today. It’s always bittersweet to say goodbye to a class of dogs here at Travis County.” David Thomas gestured at the line of inmates and dogs. “We’ve spent a lot of time getting to know each other, so it’s like telling a friend goodbye forever.” David was solemn as he addressed the crowd. “But we know they’re headed for wonderful things. To the families who are lucky enough to be taking these dogs home today, we’d like to say thank you. Rescues most often end up here only because of bad luck. We believe each of you can turn that around for these animals. And Prison Partners depends on families like yours for support, donations and word-of-mouth publicity. We believe in what we’re doing here and rely on your help, so thank you.”
David studied the line of inmates. “Antonio. Let’s start with you.” A young man stepped to the center of the room, a Lab mix walking sedately behind him. “Antonio’s been here at Travis for three years. He’s a good trainer who gets to work with dogs who learn so fast they can handle advanced lessons, dogs like Trixie. Tell us about Trixie.”
“She’s a Lab mix. Her favorite treat is cheese. When she sleeps, she likes to have her head covered and her tail wags when she dreams.” Antonio opened the small book he carried. “We met in July, but Trixie already knew how to sit and stay. Now she can do this.”
The laughs that trickled through the crowd as Antonio gave commands and Trixie did things like roll over, shake hands and play dead in a very theatrical way made it easier for Cole to breathe. He could hear the reporter’s camera snapping away. That was something he’d done; he brought that reporter here. If she did a follow-up story on the shelter or one on the positive things happening here, everything would be worthwhile.
When Rebecca let go of him to clap wildly for Trixie and Antonio, Cole had to force himself not to reach for her hand. That would be a mistake.
“And now let’s talk to Jay and his dog Cherry.” David Thomas waited for the new inmate to step forward. “Cherry’s story is different. She
was an emergency rescue from a kill shelter. She’d been abandoned along a highway and limped pretty badly when she arrived here. But Jay and Cherry have figured out how to work around that.”
“Ch-Cherry has a leg that doesn’t bend, s-so s-sitting is too hard.” Jay bent and tapped the floor. Cherry slowly stretched out on the floor, her front paws and nose resting above the spot Jay had tapped. “Instead of s-speaking, we use hand s-signals.” Jay continued to show exactly what Cherry could do. “We make a good team.”
Whoever took her home would be dealing with medical issues for the rest of Cherry’s life, but her beautiful brown eyes only showed gratitude with every step she took.
The loud sniffle coming from behind him startled him.
“Sorry,” Rebecca whispered. “It’s so sad and happy and...” She swallowed hard.
Sarah was wiping under her eyes as she nodded. “It really is. Get out your checkbook.” Her voice broke on the last word and Cole couldn’t help the smile that tickled around the edges of his mouth.
As each family accepted the dog’s leash and the inmate’s journal and posed for a picture with the Prison Partners photographer, Sarah had to choke back sobs. As usual, there wasn’t a dry eye in the place when David Thomas thanked everyone for coming.
After the inmates filed out and all the other visitors left, only David and the reporter remained in the room with Cole, Sarah and Rebecca. Hayley Michener loudly blew her nose into a tissue David offered her, and the satisfaction Cole felt was immense. There was no way this story was going to be anything but positive for Prison Partners and, by extension, Paws for Love.
David offered tissues to both Sarah and Rebecca. “Sorry. I should have given you one earlier.”
Sarah could do nothing but wave her hand helplessly.
Rebecca was in a little better shape. “I want to know what it will take to expand this program, David.”
“I want my dogs in,” Sarah managed to add.
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