by Shari Low
He nodded slowly. ‘You’re right. It just kills me to leave you right now. To leave you,’ he said, directing the repetition at Ben.
Ben looked at Chrissie. ‘Do I have a grandfather too?’
‘You do. And I promise we’ll explain all that to you when the three of us can sit down and talk properly tomorrow. For now though, we have to let Tom, your dad…’ her heart almost exploded as she said those words, ‘… go and be with his grandad.’
Ben was pensive for a second. ‘Can we go with him?’
Chrissie shook her head. ‘No, son. It’s late, and it’s bedtime, and a palliative care ward is no place for a child.’
‘A teenager,’ Ben countered.
‘Not for another month,’ Chrissie reminded him.
‘Which palliative care ward is he in?’ Val asked.
‘Glasgow Central,’ Tom replied.
‘That’s our Liv’s ward,’ Val exclaimed.
Tom was stunned. ‘You know Liv?’
‘She’s my niece. Her mum, Ida, is my man’s sister. She’ll take good care of him. She’s always been a natural nurse, our Liv. She’s got a heart of gold.’
‘She does,’ Tom agreed. ‘I don’t know that I’d have got through the last month without her. She’s been amazing. It’s such a small world.’
‘I didn’t even put two and two together,’ Chrissie said. She’d met Liv a few times and knew she was a nurse, but it was always in a party situation and they’d never discussed her job. She knew that Ben had spent much more time with her though, because he was often in Val’s house when Liv was there. He’d mentioned many times that he liked her.
‘Mum,’ Ben spoke. ‘I’d really like to go. If it’s Tom’s… I mean, my dad’s grandad…’
Chrissie melted and she heard Tom clear his throat when Ben said that, but she didn’t interrupt him.
He went on, ‘… That means he’s my great-grandad, and I’ve never had a great-grandad. I’d like to meet him before he dies. I know it’ll be sad, but I’ll be fine.’
‘Maybe we could go tomorrow?’ Chrissie tried to placate him.
‘What if he dies before I get there?’ Ben pressed, then realised that might be a bit insensitive and immediately apologised to Tom. ‘Really sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’
Tom smiled. ‘That’s okay. I’m sorry to say that could happen. Right now though, my grandad is mostly unconscious. He doesn’t speak, it’s just like he’s in a deep sleep. So it’s not like you’d be able to talk to him.’
‘I know, but I’ll see him. Then all my life I can say I met my great-grandad.’
Chrissie had to concede that in some ways it was difficult to fault his logic.
‘Do you want me to call our Liv and see what she thinks? Whether it would be… appropriate?’
Chrissie and Tom shared a glance, then Chrissie spoke, ‘Would you, Val?’
Tom speed dialled the number. ‘Hi Liv, it’s Tom again. Have the visitors arrived? Ah, that’s good. And the first lot have gone? Even better. Listen, I have someone who knows you here and she’d like a word, can I put you on? Great, thanks.’ He handed the phone over and Val disappeared into the kitchen.
Chrissie had listened with interest to Tom’s side of the call. So Norry and Rosemary had left for the night. It was a relief that she didn’t have to explain them to Ben just yet. One step at a time…
Val came back. ‘Liv thinks it would be okay if Ben came with you now, just for a little while, though,’ she said. ‘If he doesn’t feel comfortable, he can sit with her at the nurses’ station. She’s working until midnight and then she said she’ll drop Ben, or both of you, back here. Whatever you think best. If you want to stay longer, he can just stay in our spare room.’
‘What do you think?’ Tom asked Chrissie.
‘Please, Mum,’ Ben implored.
She was torn, but Ben’s point about missing out on meeting his great-grandfather had struck home. He had a family now. Norry and Rosemary would undoubtedly be a major disappointment, but Tom and George were the good ones – it would be nice for Ben to have his own memory of his great-grandfather.
‘Okay then, but if you change your mind when we get there that’s absolutely fine,’ she assured him.
He hugged her – not too much of an occurrence since he became a pre-teen – and she savoured every second of it.
‘Thanks, Val. I’ll call you later. Can you take care of the other thing?’ Chrissie asked with a smile.
‘Oh yes,’ she replied, relishing the thought. ‘I’ll go call Josie right now and tell her what she missed.’
‘Right, Ben, let’s go.’
‘Mum?’ he asked, and her stomach flipped yet again. What now? She still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing here, but she didn’t want him to hold something so important against her when he got older. ‘Can I sit in the front with my dad?’
Thirty
Shauna
‘Are you sure you want to do this, Aunt Flora?’ Shauna asked, as they drew up outside the hospital. It had been a lot for the elderly lady today, and seeing your brother in his last breaths of life, after an estrangement of over five decades, would be more than most people could bear.
‘I’m absolutely positive, pet. Although I do wish I didn’t smell of chips.’
Shauna leaned over and hugged her aunt. It was incredible to her that they’d only met a few hours ago and she already felt an inextricable bond.
‘Hang on a minute. Here you go,’ Lulu said, pulling a bottle of perfume out of her bag and spraying it on all of them. ‘According to the advert, this makes you all powerful and men will view you as a goddess, so use that power wisely, Flora.’
‘Aye, but you might want to use that power to come to my house and restrain my missus when I go home smelling like I’ve been up to no good,’ John said. ‘I think I preferred the vinegar.’
‘We’ll write you a note of explanation,’ Lulu promised, laughing, as she climbed out of the car.
Shauna leaned down to John’s open window. ‘John, are you sure you still want to stay? You’ve been with us for so long, you must be knackered. I’m more than happy to pay you the full fare now and let you get home.’
John wasn’t having it. ‘Not at all. I’ve not felt like I’ve been at work all day today. I’ve had a smashing time.’ He lowered his voice, ‘And I won’t be leaving in case this upsets Flora and she wants to get straight home afterwards.’
Shauna smiled gratefully. ‘You’re a smasher, you know that?’
‘Aye, I get told that every day,’ he joked.
Shauna caught up with the other two at the lifts they’d been in only an hour or so before, and ascended to the second floor. This time they turned right and went through the double doors, to see three nurses sitting behind the nurses’ station, with a small white twinkling tree on the counter. Two of them went off, leaving the other to greet the new arrivals. She spoke in a quiet but friendly tone.
‘Hi, can I help you?’
Shauna spoke for them. ‘I’m Shauna, and this is Flora and Lulu. We’re here to see George Butler.’
‘Ah, yes. I’m Liv. Tom called and said you’d be coming.’
‘Thank you so much,’ Flora said. ‘I can’t tell you what this means to me.’
Shauna swallowed. Dear God, today had been an emotional roller coaster that showed no signs of stopping.
‘Tom’s father and stepmother are in the TV room at the moment, so I thought you might want to meet them first? I haven’t had a chance to tell them you were on your way, so I’m afraid they might be a bit surprised. Shall I take you through there?’
Shauna nodded, excited at the prospect of notching up two more relatives. ‘Please. That would be great.’
The TV room was over to the right of reception, across from the corridor that housed the patients’ rooms.
Liv went in first, and the couple in the chairs barely registered her presence.
‘Norry, Rosemary, these ladies are also here to
see Mr Butler.’
Only Flora and Lulu heard Shauna’s quiet gasp of recognition. Only Shauna heard Lulu’s hiss of “Holy fuck”. And only Flora handled herself with perfect decorum and class when she realised they were being introduced to the couple they’d shared a lift with earlier that evening.
She headed directly for them, her hand held out to Norry, who was now rising from his chair. Rosemary just sat, watching them approach, not so much as a smile. ‘I’m Flora McGinty,’ she said, shaking his hand.
The man was amiable enough. ‘I’m Norry Butler, and this is my wife Rosemary.’
Shauna stepped forward and added herself and Lulu to the introductions. Throughout them all, Rosemary stayed in her seat, barely concealing her irritation at the new arrivals. Shauna decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was distraught, overwrought given the circumstances.
Neither Norry nor Rosemary showed any signs that they recognised the three women from the lift earlier in the evening – not a big surprise, as they hadn’t taken any notice of them at the time.
‘You’re friends of my father?’ Norry asked.
‘Actually, I’m more than that. Do you mind if I sit?’ Flora asked, gesturing to the seat next beside him.
‘Of course,’ Norry agreed.
Flora sat down in the blue padded chair next to him while Shauna and Lulu took the next two along so that they were all sitting in a semicircle around a low coffee table.
‘I don’t know if your father ever told you about his own family…’ Flora began.
‘Only that there was some kind of rift back in the late fifties. I believe his parents died soon after.’
‘Yes. They succumbed to the flu in 1960. It was a terribly sad time. Did he mention his siblings?’
Norry shrugged. ‘Two sisters, I think.’
‘That’s right. I’m sincerely sorry if this comes as a bit of a shock to you, but I’m one of your father’s sisters. And this young lady here,’ she smiled at Shauna, ‘is the granddaughter of Annie, his other sister.’
Norry sat, mouth agape, for several seconds. ‘He never told me you were back in touch.’
‘We weren’t,’ Shauna spoke. ‘We’ve only just discovered that your father is here.’ She went on to explain the letters, and the trip north, and the meeting with Flora.
‘Not being funny,’ Rosemary said, with a distinct overtone of bitchiness, ‘but how do we know all this is true? I mean, I don’t want to be negative, but I’ve heard about people who find out about folk who are at death’s door and show up claiming all sorts.’
‘Let me…’ Lulu hissed to Shauna, who put her hand on her friend’s arm as a sign of restraint. ‘That’s okay, Lulu,’ she said in her best sing-song voice, ‘I’m happy to provide evidence.’
Shauna was seething inside. This woman was the rudest cow she’d encountered in a long time. Annie would have decimated her by now and she could see Flora’s eyes narrowing. Her aunt may be a paragon of serenity, but Shauna could also sense that she didn’t suffer fools and would only be pushed so far.
Endeavouring to keep things polite, she delved into her bag and pulled out the letters and Annie’s birth certificate. Flora produced hers, too.
‘And I can answer any question about your father’s younger days that you may wish to know,’ she said, admirably maintaining her poise.
Norry studied all the documents, then handed them back.
‘Well, this all looks very straightforward. I’m afraid my father is unconscious though, so visiting him is a waste of time.’ Shauna was so incensed she realised she was digging her fingers into Lulu’s arm. Lulu was so incensed she didn’t notice.
‘Oh, my dear,’ Flora said, her voice strong and unwavering. ‘Visiting the sick can never be a waste of time.’
Norry shrugged. ‘Well, you’re welcome to it. We’re actually just waiting for my son…’
‘Oh, sorry!’ Shauna replied, forcing herself to be civil. If Flora could do it, she could follow suit. ‘We should have led with that. We’ve already met your son and we have your luggage downstairs in a taxi.’
‘He just gave our luggage to complete strangers?’ Rosemary blurted out, clearly outraged by this.
‘Well, not complete strangers, but I can assure you we didn’t ransack it or plant cocaine. At least, not enough for sniffer dogs to notice,’ Lulu said, her tone jocular, but Shauna knew all too well that this level of sarcasm was the bit that came right before Lulu unleashed a tirade of merciless vitriol on her target. Rosemary was on her last warning, and she deserved it, especially for the way she was speaking to Flora, but this wasn’t the time or place for disagreements. It was safe to say these two wouldn’t be on any Christmas card list and they wouldn’t be meeting up for chummy family reunions. Tom had seemed so nice as well. She decided to look at it as a numbers game. She’d met three lovely relatives so far – it was probably time for one or two dodgy ones.
‘And here’s the key, he asked me to give it to you – it’s for his flat,’ Shauna said.
‘Okay, let’s get off then,’ Norry said to his wife, jumping up as if under starter’s orders.
‘You’re not staying with your father? I believe Tom’s coming back shortly,’ Flora told him and Shauna could see she was finding this to be incomprehensible.
‘No, we’ve been here all day,’ Norry said. ‘We’ll get off and come back tomorrow.’
The others knew it wasn’t their place to argue and, well, there was a silent consensus that they’d be happy to see the back of this pair.
They all walked out to the reception area together and Norry pressed the button for the lift.
‘The taxi is right downstairs and the driver is happy to take you to Tom’s home and then come back for us,’ Shauna said.
‘Right. Okay then. Well, we’ll be off,’ Norry said, as the lift pinged open and then they were gone, leaving the three women staring after them, open mouthed.
Lulu was the first to speak. ‘What a pair of crackers those two are.’
At the desk, Liv smiled. ‘I couldn’t possibly comment. Shall I take you to meet your brother now, Mrs McGinty?’
‘That would be most kind of you,’ Flora replied.
Liv chatted quietly as they walked down the corridor. ‘Tom explained the situation to me. I’m so glad you’re getting this chance to meet George again.’
Flora’s smile was layered with sadness. ‘I am, too. You must see so many people in here with regrets and my biggest one is losing touch with my brother George and my sister Annie. If I could turn back time…’
‘That’s a phrase I hear often, too,’ Liv replied kindly, as she stopped in front of a heavy wooden door with a small pane of glass above the handle. ‘It’s just in here.’
She pushed open the door and Shauna stepped in behind them to a pristine room with white walls and pale blue blinds. There was a drape of tinsel along the top of the window, and on a corner table sat some beautiful Christmas ornaments – a row of little drummers, a nest of robins, a collection of exquisite baubles – that looked like they belonged to a long gone era. George’s bed was in the centre of the room, with a dozen or so Christmas cards taped to the wall above it and bank of machines and monitors to his right.
The four of them approached the bed, Shauna and Lulu walking round to the plastic seats on the opposite side, leaving Flora to sit in the more comfortable armchair beside her brother. Shauna hadn’t known what to expect, but now, seeing George, she was so grateful that they’d come. He looked so peaceful, like an elderly man having a deep sleep after a long day. His hair was silver, but still surprisingly thick. He was slender, his face almost gaunt, as if he’d lost a lot of weight very quickly, but there was no sign that he was in pain, and for that, Shauna was grateful.
A sob interrupted her thoughts and she realised it came from Flora, who was weeping as she held George’s hand. Shauna felt the hot sting of tears running down her face. An arm came around her, Lulu’s, and the two of them wept in s
ilence for this man they had never met but whom they felt they knew.
Shauna hadn’t even realised that Liv was still there until she spoke. ‘George, Tom called and said he’ll be back soon, but there are some new visitors here to see you. I’ll let them explain. Ladies, please just press that button lying next to George’s hand if you need anything,’ she said, pointing to the orange wire with the call button at the end.
There was a silence in the room for a few moments, before Flora reached over and slowly, gently, cradled his face. ‘George, this is Flora.’
Shauna and Lulu were silent, both of them instinctively knowing that they were bystanders in one of the most heartbreaking moments of Flora’s life.
‘Oh, George, I have so much to say and I don’t know where to start. I’m so sorry. I really am. You see, I thought… Oh dear, I’ve forgotten my manners. I need to introduce you to two very special women who travelled up from London today to find us. They’re the reason I’m here now because they led me to you. One is Lulu, not the singer, and the other is Shauna. And George, you’ll never believe who Shauna is.’
Flora raised her eyes and gestured to Shauna to take over the conversation. Shauna took a second to compose herself before she spoke.
‘George, I’m your sister Annie’s granddaughter. I’m really sorry to say that Annie passed away a few years ago, but she left some letters from you and from Flora. I found Flora today, and now, together, we’ve tracked you down.’
Flora spoke again. ‘And the letters… Oh, George, one of them was from you to Annie and I know now why you told Declan and I’ve come to see that it was with good intentions. I should never have doubted you, George. I’ve realised today that we’ve wasted so much time. The years, they have just drifted past and I suppose I was too proud, too stubborn, to make the first move. I regret that more than I can say, and I’d give anything to make it different, to live my life with you, to be part of your family. I met your grandson, Tom, tonight and he is a remarkable chap. He’s a credit to you, George.’
Shauna wondered if she would mention that she’d just met Norry, but sensed she was omitting that out of diplomacy.
