“No. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Why? What’s wrong with me?” The hurt on his face made me feel guiltier.
I hated that he thought something was wrong with him. There wasn’t anything.
“Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you.”
“Right, it’s just that I’m not him, right?” Now he looked pissed. “I’m not Luc, the mobster.”
I opened my mouth to answer but couldn’t.
I had to get away, so I ran, never stopping even when he called after me.
I got to my car and sped away home. My refuge.
What was wrong with me? That was the question. Sinclaire was a good man. How many times did I have to tell myself that?
He was gorgeous, did everything by the book, and cared deeply for me.
What more did I want? What more could I want?
Luc.
Tears rolled down my cheeks at the instant defeat that gripped me.
Who the fuck was I trying to kid?
I couldn’t even fool myself.
My heart was breaking because I’d fallen so hard and fast for Luc, and it was breaking because I couldn’t be with him.
It broke in so many ways and ached. Why couldn’t things be different?
What kind of bad luck did I have to fall for the wrong guy?
I was a good person too.
I’d done so much good.
But… all I’d had was heartache. Heartache and heartbreak.
I was grateful that Gigi wasn’t home because I didn’t want to talk. I dashed upstairs into my room, where I broke down.
“Luc… my heart is broken.” I wailed at the nothingness that surrounded my room. “It’s so broken. You took the last piece of me.”
He did. He took the last piece of me. The ounce of what I’d held on to from home. Way back when, when I thought I was happy.
My dancing, my mother, my life.
A noise to the back of me made me whirl around.
I froze, heart jumping into my chest, stopping in mid-beat as my breath hitched.
Luc stood paces away from me, near my wardrobe.
Anguish and pain that mirrored my own were all over his face.
Chapter 5
Amelia
There were certain times in life when things happened and you knew the event would be not only significant but important to you.
Whatever that thing was, it was what it was, whether you liked it or not.
That was how I felt now.
Except… I knew I’d gone beyond liking Luc.
I’d gone beyond the realms of like a long time ago. The part that swayed me, the part that reality waved in front of me, was that this man was exactly the type of man I’d never wanted to end up with.
A mobster, a criminal.
Yet when he looked at me… when he looked at me, that wasn’t what I saw.
I gasped and clutched my hand to my chest, feeling my heart beating so fast I thought it would pump out of my chest, leap right out of the walls surrounding it from the impact of emotion that had gathered there.
He stepped toward me, and I stepped back. It was an instinctive response to protect myself, my heart, because I knew that if he touched me even once, I would lose what little I had left of my sanity.
“Amelia.” His voice washed over me and seeped into me, as if my whole being relished the sound.
I’d dreamed of seeing him again, both in my dreams and in my waking moments.
He was in my thoughts all the time. Sometimes I ached to see him, to hear him, be with him. And… look at me now.
“Doll.” His voice took on a tentative edge.
This time when he moved toward me, I kept still. He cupped my face with both hands, and that was it. The touch I’d feared. The touch that would take my sanity, and it did. His touch made the world fade away.
“Luc,” I breathed.
When his lips came crashing down on mine, I received them and his kiss like pure oxygen entering my lungs.
This was not like earlier when I’d kissed Sinclaire. I hated myself for that kiss, because Sinclaire deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with him, and I knew full well that no one would ever make me feel the way I felt when I was with Luc.
This kiss stole my heart and soul. It was possessive and greedy but reminded me of all the happy times I’d shared with this man. He’d reached the real me. Not the person I’d created when I left Chicago.
He reached the person I was before I found out how dark my world really was. That person who was full of life, hopes, aspirations, and dreams.
As he kissed me, I swore I heard music. Music that sounded like the powerful masterpieces that I’d danced to. The pieces that spoke to the inner part of me, sparking creativity and raw talent.
This was me and…I’d just realized something. Something that waved itself in front of me with flashing green lights. It was this… I hadn’t lost myself by knowing Luc. I’d found myself.
I’d found that lost person who I used to be, but I was only ever found when I was with him.
His touch felt like it was all over my body. We tore at each other’s clothes. He ripped mine off, tearing away my blouse and popping the clasp on my bra.
His mouth taking in my nipple into a deep suckle heightened my senses. I’d missed this.
Him indulging in every part of me and touching me with the need of consumption.
He alternated between one breast and the other, giving me a good suck until he was satisfied that I’d gotten the pleasure I needed.
I did. I couldn’t control the moans that fell from my lips, and silently I remembered that Gigi could come home at any point.
I’d have to apologize in the morning if we kept her up. There was nothing tame about us when we got together, and we couldn’t be tamed or control ourselves.
It didn’t matter where we were, even at work.
I wrapped my legs around him and continued to kiss him when he picked me up and carried me over to set me down in the middle of the bed.
With a greedy look on his handsome face, he tore my panties off and tossed what was left of them over the bed somewhere.
He slid his fingers deep inside my core, pleased that I was so wet.
“Good girl, you’re wet for me.” In the soft glow of the light in my room, he stood over me like a vengeful god, strong and powerful, gazing down at me like he owned me.
My eyes scanned over the peaks and valleys of his perfectly sculpted abs, with those tattoos that made my mouth water.
He moved his fingers in and out of my core, making me squirm, then he lowered and drank from me, his tongue stroking my clit.
I cried out his name several times as an orgasm ripped through me and I came in shuddering waves, grabbing the bed sheets.
Goddamn, what the hell? I gasped trying to take in some air to clear the sexual fog that swept over my mind.
He smiled with deep satisfaction, loving what he did to me. Loving that he made me lose control over everything. Moving back, he stepped out of his pants and boxers, unleashing his massive cock. Then he spared no time.
He pushed inside me, sliding right into my entrance that welcomed him.
“Fuck, Amelia, you feel so good.” He groaned.
I’d reached the point where I could no longer form words.
He started with a slow grind of his hips to go deeper. Once he was there, buried to the hilt, he began pumping that fast, sure rhythm I loved.
I closed my eyes, seeing flashes of stars and white lights dance beneath my lids while I enjoyed him. Faster. He pumped faster and faster still, sending me over the edge, making me groan and writhe beneath him.
“Do you want more, doll?”
“Yes,” I cried.
I could have screamed when he slipped out of me. I didn’t want him to be away from me.
It wasn’t for long though. He flipped me over, so that I was on my hands and knees, and I remembered how much he loved taking me from behind.
H
e slipped back in and resumed his thrusts. I winced and savored the powerful bursts of emotion that shook my body. He gripped my hips and held on tight, now jackhammering into me.
It was unreal, unlike anything I’d ever experienced and completely and utterly indescribable.
It was too much, and my hands gave.
He caught me and stopped pumping to lower his mouth and place a kiss on my back.
“Too much?” he asked. There was a smile in his voice.
“No.” I didn’t want him to stop. “I want more.”
“Okay, goddess, just checking. Hold on tight. I’m going to fuck you hard.”
I did as he said, loving the sound of his promise. He did.
Somehow, our already crazy frenzy turned up a notch and became something else. Madness took over, along with something primal and raw. We’d become slaves to passion, slaves to sex and our need for each other.
I didn’t know what to call this. No words could describe what we were doing. Nothing could.
When we came, it was with mutual surrender to the force that had taken over our bodies.
The strength left me, him too, and we both collapsed in a heap on the bed, bodies dripping with sweat.
Luc pulled me closer and kissed my shoulder. I turned into his embrace and rested my head against his chest. His heart was beating so fast.
Just like mine.
We didn’t do much talking.
The next few hours were spent having wild sex. I remembered slipping into a dream. Not the reoccurring nightmare I’d been having for the last few weeks, but an actual dream.
I dreamt about being in a movie where I had to brush my hair all day. It was ridiculous, but I’d take that over the previous mornings when I’d woken up in a cold sweat.
Today, I woke up to fiery kisses being placed along my neck.
My eyes fluttered open to meet Luc’s blue gaze. It wasn’t quite time to wake up yet. It was twilight, and the soft light from my night light lit him up like a dream. I had to wonder if I was still sleeping when I looked at him. The cocky, wicked grin on his face told me I wasn’t.
“Luc.” I reached up to cup his jaw and guided him down to my lips for a sweet kiss, which immediately turned needy. “More, please.”
He pulled back and smiled. “More what, goddess? Kisses?”
I shook my head and giggled when he nuzzled my neck.
I didn’t care. Reality hadn’t reared its ugly head yet, and I wasn’t in any hurry for it to come knocking on my door.
Fuck it, I was going to stay right here in Luc’s arms forever. I wasn’t leaving this room for anything.
“No more fucking, doll, you won’t be able to walk if we continue like this.”
“I don’t care.” I closed my eyes and willed the onset of the day to go away.
“Amelia…” He kissed my lips again. “Amelia.”
I opened my eyes and gazed at him. Sadness filled his eyes, and I knew he was about to say goodbye.
“No.” I shook my head.
“I have to go.”
“Don’t leave,” I whispered.
“Come with me.”
I bolted upright and gasped.
“Go with you?” I searched his blue gaze.
He nodded and sat up too, taking a lock of my hair. “I have to go to Chicago, Amelia. Things have changed a lot. I need to know what’s going on, and it seems that your father will only trust me.”
My father. Luc.
The truth...
It flooded back now. Reality.
I beheld the beautiful but dangerous man before me, who was now standing up on the other side of my bed, looking at me with expectancy.
Stupidly, I pulled the sheets up to cover myself. Ridiculous, I knew, after the night I’d spent with him and all the things we’d done. There was no part of my body this man hadn’t touched, and this was after knowing all that I knew about him.
He walked around to my side of the bed and kneeled down, resting his hands next to me, clasped.
“I know we need to talk,” he offered, probably seeing the obvious shift in my mood.
I stared deep into his bright blue gaze and wished I could take things back to weeks ago when I was ignorant and happier just being in his presence.
“Talk.” I pressed my lips together and blinked several times.
“You hate me,” he surmised.
“No,” I replied quickly. I couldn’t allow him to think that, no matter what the truth was.
“Well, that’s a good start. Let’s work with that. There isn’t much time.”
“Why isn’t there much time?” That was perhaps a stupid question. In actuality, I’d probably had more than enough time since the cat got out of the bag.
“It’s not safe for you here anymore.”
“I’ve been fine.”
“You’ve been fine because they wanted you to think that. You’ve been fine because they allowed it.”
“They? Did you find who’s after me?”
“No. But believe me, if there was any attack on you, my men would have moved in straight away.”
“You have people watching me?” I remembered him saying that he had eyes everywhere.
“I always have people watching you, particularly when I can’t. But those guys aren’t the ones you have to worry about. It’s the others, one in particular. Victor Pertrinkov. Amelia, there’s no one I can’t find. No one I can’t reach. But this guy has been a mystery to even me.”
“Demarco, was that you?” I knew we were talking about Victor, but I needed to know if Luc had anything to do with Demarco.
He nodded, confirming my thoughts. “But I didn’t kill him.”
“Who did, then?”
“One of his guys, by accident. I went to him looking for information, which I found.” He bit the inside of his lip, then pulled in a sigh. “I don’t kill unless if I have to.” There was a helplessness in in his tone that reached out to me, because he’d never sounded like that. It was different from the confident manner in which he usually spoke.
“What does that mean?”
“When someone wants to kill me. If I see a gun aimed at me, it means that person wants to kill me.”
I’d aimed a gun at him a few weeks ago, and yet I lived now to tell the tale.
“Would you kill me?”
“Jesus Christ. I can’t believe you’d ask me that. Look, we can’t really talk now, about us. I get it. I get it if you don’t want to be with me, and that’s fine. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. Right now, I need to get you to safety.”
He stood again, grabbed his pants, and put them on. He’d just been wearing his boxers. Our clothes were a mingle of his and mine everywhere. There were even things I hadn’t worn tossed in. I saw one of my bras on his biker jacket. I didn’t remember how it got like that.
If I was thinking logically and with my brain that screamed Stay away from Luc, I would have told him it wasn’t a good idea for us to be together. I couldn’t see how that would ever be a good idea.
When I left Chicago, I’d left because I couldn’t bear to live with my father knowing he was such a terrible person. And here I was with Luc.
I watched him shrug into his T-shirt and reach for his jacket. He looked hurt, understandably.
I got off the bed, wrapping the sheet around myself, securing it so it wouldn’t fall off. Then I reached for his arm. My brain screamed several things, but my heart was wailing, crying from deep within because it seemed to only beat for Luc.
“Luc.” I opened my mouth to talk, then closed it, then opened it again.
He sighed and pulled me against him and sat down on the edge of the bed, me on his lap. I slipped my arms around his neck while he held me.
“I know how I feel about you,” I told him.
“Not hate?” He smiled, revealing the dimples. I touched the one in his right cheek.
“Not hate.”
“I’m not real sure if that’s a good or bad thing, doll. Means I
’m just a little bit better than scum. Tolerable even, like a dog with mange.”
I couldn’t believe it. I started to laugh. “A dog with mange? Why would you even say that?”
“Because you love the pet but can’t stand the sight of it because of the way it looks. You may not love me like you would a pet, but I’m guessing you’ll tolerate the sight of me, even for great sex.”
That sounded horrible, and definitely not the way I felt. “It’s not true.” I had to tell him what I felt. But I was scared to accept it myself. I hadn’t even put a label on my feelings yet. “I feel more for you, and I missed you when you were away. But I shouldn’t because we come from—”
He stopped me with a kiss. I kissed him back, loving the moment and how lost I felt in him. “Leave it there. At missing me while I was away. We don’t come from different worlds.” He smiled against my lips. “You just have a different perception of me. Now’s not the time to talk about that though. You need to come with me, to Chicago. Your dad’s not talking to anyone besides me, not telling us what’s going on, and we have serious people after us.”
My hand slipped down to his shirt, and I clutched on to it.
I hadn’t been around my father in years, but I knew there was one main incident that I wasn’t supposed to speak about. How many things had happened like that since?
This could be about anything. Past or present.
“I don’t know, Luc. I don’t think I can go back to Chicago. I… don’t want to.”
“You’ll be safer there.”
“It’s too painful.”
“What happened, goddess? What happened to you to make you leave?”
I shook my head. “Terrible things I can’t talk about. My father is dying, and I don’t know if I can see him. Do you know how bad I feel about that?”
“Amelia, this is me telling you, you should go if only for that because I care, and I know you. If your father dies and you truly never see him again, it will destroy you. Please don’t let the reason you stay here be the past. Whatever happened.” Warmth filled his eyes.
He was right. I knew he was right. There was no part of what he said that was wrong. It was just me who needed to reach that point where I could bring myself to do it all.
Mafia Scars (The Accidental Mafia Queen Book 2) Page 5
