by S. B. Hayes
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
The bus driver did an about-turn. ‘Hello, girls. Thought I was seeing double for a minute.’
This was downright annoying – even strangers noticed how alike we’d grown. Close up, I could see even more similarities. We had similar coats, of course, and Genevieve had changed her hair to a side parting like mine and copied my make-up. I didn’t wear much eyeshadow and I liked dark shades of lipstick because they suited my pale complexion. I must have lost weight over the last few weeks because my jeans now rested somewhere around my hips, which made us look even more alike. Genevieve didn’t seem bothered, but I was and toyed with the idea of taking off my coat, except that it was cold and a fog had descended. It was wet, choking, and so thick that it was in my mouth, the same taste left by fireworks after they’ve fizzled out.
‘So what sort of stuff does Nat like?’ Genevieve asked when we got off the bus. People stared at her. I was conscious of that, and knew there was something that made her stand out from the crowd, just like Merlin.
I decided to make my own mischief. ‘What about a scarf and hat?’
Nat hated hats of any kind because her hair was so wild, and she always said that scarves made her think of scarecrows and old people.
Genevieve fixed me with her cool unblinking stare. ‘You think she’d like that?’
‘Love it,’ I lied.
‘Suppose I could manage that. Why isn’t she having a party?’
I grinned to myself, thinking back to last year, dancing until dawn and then jumping into the town fountain on our way home. I caught a terrible cold and was off school for a week, but it was well worth it.
‘Her mum forbade it after her sixteenth. It got a bit … er … wild, so this year’s is just a civilized lunch.’
‘Can’t imagine wild around here,’ Genevieve grunted sourly.
It was only late October and the shops were already full of Christmas things, their windows decorated with fake trees and even faker snow – boxes tied with string, cardboard cut-out roaring fires and all the tinsel and baubles you could ever want. It was cheesy, but still made me feel as excited as if I was seven years old. I followed Genevieve into a craft shop, shivering at the thought of my first Christmas with Merlin.
She chose some wool in an awful bottle-green colour, which I knew Nat would hate. She was a hippy, dippy sunshine kind of girl. I’d already made an oversized cushion embroidered with yellow and orange cats because she was mad about them. It was mean of me, but I couldn’t stop grinning to myself imagining Nat trying to look thrilled when she unwrapped Genevieve’s present and then having to wear the scarf and hat so as not to offend her.
‘OK … that’s that,’ I muttered as we left the shop. ‘There’s nothing else I want so … I’ll just make my way home.’
Genevieve spluttered with disbelief. ‘Don’t pretend like this, Katy. You really can’t tear yourself away from me.’
‘I’m only here for Nat … I don’t choose to be near you.’
Her voice was as smooth as silk. ‘Admit it. You engineered this. You might not know it, but your subconscious wants to get close to me.’
I was beginning to learn that Genevieve inverted the natural order of things; she could make out that white was black and vice versa. I had to stop a red mist from taking hold so I regulated my breathing and tried to picture Luke’s face telling me not to let her rattle me.
‘Be careful what you wish for,’ Genevieve breathed, looking up at the sky. ‘You wished for the perfect boyfriend and you got Merlin … and you wished for a special person in your life. Here I am, Katy. Someone who understands you … perfectly.’
This was way too close to the truth. I had wished for a boyfriend, and for the best friend I’d never had.
She slowed down and studied her reflection in a window. ‘Have you had enough yet?’
‘Of what?’
She didn’t answer and continued to stare in the glass, but this time at me. ‘How does it feel, Katy, to watch your life trickling away? Scarcely a ripple and you’ll be gone. Hardly anyone will notice.’
‘Merlin knows the photograph means nothing,’ I told her. ‘So that little scheme of yours failed.’
She tapped the side of her head. ‘He says he knows … but he’ll see it in his mind’s eye and never quite escape, no matter how hard he tries. Images are so powerful, we see them even when we don’t want to.’
‘He trusts me completely.’
Her voice was hypnotically assured. ‘It only takes one small seed of doubt to grow and spread until the whole thing is rotten. All trust eroded.’
I wondered if she was referring to Nat and those awful love spells. Nat, who would always suspect that I had gossiped about her. I clenched my fists, trying to block out the pain.
‘You’re growing weaker all the time, Katy.’
I extended my arm. ‘Just get away from me, Genevieve.’
‘It doesn’t matter where you go or how far you run, Katy … you’re marked.’
This girl was mad. Her pronouncements were getting more and more intense.
‘I walk this way,’ I growled, trying to shake her off.
‘I go this way too.’
She stuck to me like glue and I figured that I wouldn’t be able to dump her until we reached the bus stop, where we took different routes home. We passed a charity shop and, it was totally weird, we both stopped dead at the same spot staring at the window display. There was a sign advertising evening wear for all occasions. A male dummy had been kitted out in a black dinner suit and the female dummy in a cream backless long dress. In that split second I knew exactly what Genevieve was thinking because I was thinking exactly the same thing – the college Christmas ball. The theme was Hollywood, which was great because it meant Merlin in a tux and me looking like a film star in something gorgeous.
‘It might be worth a look in,’ Genevieve suggested, her voice suddenly normal, as if nothing unusual had just occurred.
I stared at her suspiciously, wary of her motive, and then tried to put her off because I wanted to go in alone.
‘It’s pretty lame this year,’ I complained. ‘Hollywood is a terrible idea.’
Genevieve gave a superior sniff. ‘Well, if you don’t want to…’
She swung open the glass door but, instead of taking this opportunity to escape, I kept pace with her. Her head swivelled around like an owl’s as she scanned the place but my eye was already focused on the most fabulous dress ever, which was hanging at the far end of the shop. The train caught my eye first because it was greyish green in a two-tone material that reminded me of a mermaid’s tail. I made a beeline for it and tried to grab the hanger, only to discover that someone had hold of it from the other side.
‘I saw it first,’ a familiar voice cried, but I stubbornly held on tight.
Genevieve poked her head through the rail of dresses, her face flushed and angry. ‘You’ll rip it if you don’t let go.’
‘You let go,’ I said childishly.
‘It wouldn’t fit you anyway.’
A volunteer must have heard the commotion and came running over to stand between us. She had immovable hair, pink lipstick and a chiffon scarf tied around her neck.
‘Now, girls, that’s enough.’
Reluctantly we both gave up our claim to the dress and the woman held it aloft. It was even more beautiful than I had thought and shimmered like the sea on a rough day. It was glamorous but not in a starlet way, and the £20 price tag was unbelievable.
‘This is the damaged rail,’ the voice lectured. ‘This evening gown has an obvious tear, and it isn’t on a seam. It will be almost impossible to repair so you both may wish to reconsider …’
I was sure that Genevieve could do an amazing invisible mend, better than I could, but I still wanted the dress. If she stole it from under my nose then the ball would be ruined because nothing would come close to this amazing find. The volunteer decided to act as relationship counsellor.
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‘Maybe it’s better if neither of you takes it, dears – it isn’t worth damaging a friendship over one dress.’
Friendship! I tried not to smirk and punched Genevieve playfully on the arm. ‘We wouldn’t let that happen, would we?’
Genevieve stubbornly thrust out her chin. ‘Whoever the dress fits shall go to the ball … and I’ll try it first.’ She might as well have added that Prince Charming was going to be hers and the glass slipper would be a perfect fit too.
Pitying looks were being thrown my way, and it was obvious why – Genevieve would look a million times better than me; in fact, I’d probably rip the dress even more trying to squeeze into it.
It didn’t take her long. A confidently smug figure emerged from the changing room, which was just a curtain hooked around one dark corner of the shop. The mermaid dress could have been made for her, and the familiar knife twisted in my stomach with stabbing jealousy. Genevieve sashayed up and down the shop preening in the full-length mirror. Even the other shoppers stopped to admire her. My face was set in some kind of gruesome sickly smile, watching as a woman moved forward to pick up the train.
If I’d looked away at that moment, I’d have completely missed what happened, but I was horribly mesmerized and kept on staring, almost to torture myself. A pair of hands swept Genevieve’s hair up from the nape of her neck to see the effect. I expected her to turn her face this way and that, revelling in the attention, but her reaction was completely unexpected. Angrily she pulled away, shaking her head from side to side so that her curls again covered her shoulders. Then she stomped back into the changing room and yanked the curtain shut.
But not before I’d seen the scar tissue running down her back, a distinct puckering of the skin that looked, for all the world, as if she’d been burned in a fire.
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
It was unforgivable of me, especially after all his support, but I didn’t immediately tell Luke what I’d seen because I needed to concentrate on the most momentous event of my life. In a moment of madness I had agreed to go away with Merlin on Friday. The rest of the week passed in a state of nervous frenzy. I had to tackle my coursework, as well as ensuring all the arrangements were perfect. Merlin had booked a campsite about twenty-five miles away – only an hour’s journey, but far enough not to worry about being seen by anyone. Mum had given me the green light to stay over at Hannah’s and have my tea there, which meant I wouldn’t have to go home after college. I’d already packed a small bag to take, and Merlin was responsible for the rucksack containing our tent and all the equipment. We were going to pick it up together from his house and make our way straight to the station.
It was impossible to sleep on Thursday night. Every few minutes I checked my digital clock, but time had come to a standstill and I resorted to counting to sixty waiting for the numbers to change. Eventually I must have dozed.
In the morning my nerves were shredded. A cereal bowl slipped out of my hand and I knocked a cup of coffee over, all within the space of five minutes. Mum didn’t even seem to notice. I couldn’t look her in the eye as we said goodbye, convinced she would detect some treachery, but she just straightened my collar and kissed me on the cheek. The fact that she was almost cheerful made the deceit worse. Crossly I argued with myself on the way to college.
Why should she notice anything out of the ordinary, Katy? You’re not doing anything that unusual, just staying over at a friend’s house. The whole point of all the arrangements was that she wouldn’t suspect anything. You’ve covered every eventuality. Stop feeling guilty; it’s only a small lie.
I gave the best performance of my life, outwardly cool and collected, but inside my stomach was churning, doing somersaults, cartwheels and backflips. As we left, Nat and Hannah gave me extra hugs for luck and a kind of wistful wave. When I turned around they were still watching us, and this made me feel weirdly sad. We’d reached the bottom of the college steps when my phone beeped.
Katy could you please stop off at home before you go to Hannah’s – Mum x
My face fell. We were booked on the four thirty train, with only an hour to pick up the gear and board our train.
I began babbling to Merlin. ‘I’ll rush home, find out what Mum wants and meet you at the station. It’ll be nothing.’ I kissed him hastily. ‘Wild horses won’t stop me from getting on that train, and this might be safer in case … certain people are watching.’
I did one of those speeded-up walks that are almost a run and always look completely lame, but I didn’t care. Mum was forever summoning me over trivial stuff, but if she saw me now she was less likely to hassle me later. I opened the front door and practically fell through it. There was no premonition that anything was amiss and I shouted my usual greeting as a figure stepped out from the shadows, her face oddly waxy and somehow knotted with fury. My bag slipped out of my hand and thumped on to the hall floor. Neither of us spoke for what seemed like an eternity. In the end I had to whisper, ‘Whatever’s wrong?’
‘This … arrived this morning,’ Mum croaked, and tears must have been close to the surface. ‘More lies, Katy, more deception, more … Merlin.’
The letter in her hand was so crumpled I wondered if she’d been clutching it all day. I had no choice but to take it off her. The first thing I noticed was Merlin’s name on the envelope but my address underneath. I slid one finger inside and took out a single sheet of paper with shaking hands. It was a receipt from the campsite and a confirmation of our booking. The date was today. It was weird, but shock made me freeze, unable to move a single muscle. I must have stared at it for ages, trying to keep the guilt from my features, but eventually I was forced to look at Mum. She didn’t blink once and it was like staring into an abyss. I felt physically sick as my mind fast-forwarded to the cataclysmic fallout.
‘You set up the sleepover with Hannah as a cover?’
‘N-no,’ I insisted. ‘We talked about it for … laughs, but we weren’t going to really do it.’
She stroked her chin like a villain in a pantomime. ‘Now, why would Merlin make the booking and why would you arrange a sleepover at Hannah’s on the same night, if it was all just … imaginary?’
‘It’s a mistake,’ I cried out, ‘or someone being malicious. You don’t know the horrible stuff that’s been happening to me … my coursework was deliberately ruined and that’s not the worst—’
Mum ignored this outburst. ‘So, Katy? You really were going to a sleepover at Hannah’s tonight because her parents are away?’
‘Ye-es.’
‘Don’t dig yourself in any deeper,’ she growled. ‘I’ve already phoned Hannah’s mum, who confirmed she isn’t going away and knows nothing about you sleeping there. So … what have you to say?’
‘It’s not how it looks,’ I mumbled feebly.
Mum folded her arms in a way that meant business. ‘Since you met this boy, Katy, you’ve been caught smoking, your college work is a disaster and now you’ve lied and schemed to spend the night with him. Your only defence is to blame everything on another girl. I feel like I don’t know my own daughter any more. I’m disgusted with you.’
She turned on her heel and walked away, leaving me standing in the hallway in the semi-darkness too stunned to move. But this wasn’t the end of it. She reappeared a few seconds later. ‘You’ll be grounded for the foreseeable future, and I’d like you to hand over your phone right away.’
My hand covered my mouth in horror. Merlin! He’d be waiting for me at the station. Without my phone I couldn’t get a message to him.
It was a long shot but there was nothing to lose. ‘Even prisoners are allowed one call.’
Mum pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes and said, ‘You have exactly one minute and I’m timing you.’
My hands were still shaking so much that I dropped the phone, then missed all the buttons because my fingers were useless, as if I was wearing mittens. It would have torn me apart to hear Merlin’s voice and then be cut off so I sen
t a text instead.
Mum knows everything. I’m sorry Merlin. I’m grounded and have to give up my phone right away. PS I love you X
I ran upstairs and threw myself on to my bed, wallowing in self-pity and misery. Hot tears scorched my cheeks and saturated my pillow until I had to flip it over because it was making my face even blotchier. There was a strange tortured pleasure in imagining, second by second, Merlin trudging home and every emotion he must be feeling, every expression on his face. I hoped he was just as miserable as me, thinking of what might have been. After about an hour I realized how selfish this was. It wasn’t just Merlin and I who were involved – Hannah would be in trouble for providing my alibi. I hoped she’d have the good sense to blame it all on me and say she knew nothing about my plan. I covered my face with shame at the thought of what Hannah’s mum would think of me now.
Mum never even came near me all evening or asked if I was hungry. So, drained from crying, I fell into a fitful sleep at about eight o’clock, one minute freezing, the next boiling hot and tossing aside the duvet. My dreams were feverishly fragmented. It felt as if I spent hours just running from something or someone, but there was nowhere to hide; every building, every wall, fell flat when I reached it, like a house of cards, and every corner was illuminated by a giant searchlight. I stumbled into some sort of theatre and found myself onstage. The auditorium was gradually lit up, row by row, and all the seats were occupied, but every person had the same strangely blank face and their green glass eyes threw beams of light at me. They stung like tiny swords and I curled into a ball trying to escape the cuts, but soon my whole body was a weeping bloodied mess as Genevieve’s laughter resounded in my ears.
Every awful minute detail of the previous day came rushing back the second I awoke. The morning light hurt my eyes and it was tempting to roll over and stay in bed, but I was determined to face Mum and get it over with. I tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen with swollen eyes and hamster cheeks. She was calmly buttering a piece of toast and the smell made me realize how famished I was. No food or drink had passed my lips for almost twenty-four hours. I cleared my throat. She didn’t speak or look at me so I turned dejectedly away but never made it past the kitchen door. Everywhere dimmed as if a total eclipse had struck; stars appeared in front of my eyes, multiplying until they joined together to make a fuzzy darkness, and my feet slipped from under me. I remembered nothing until my lids fluttered open to find my head cradled in Mum’s lap, her eyes wide with alarm.
