by Leaona Luxx
“What picture is that?” My eyes are wide as I lean down, getting on Silas’ level. Silas traces my eyebrows and down my nose with his finger.
“The one Momma gave me, beside my bed.” Silas’ eyes dart from mine to Sarah’s. He wraps his hand around mine, pulling me from the couch. “Come ‘mere.”
I turn to Sarah as she stands, and we follow our son through the house. She trails behind, giving us space. Silas jumps on the bed, bouncing to the head. I kneel beside the table where the picture sets.
“See, he’s got brown hair and eyes like yours.” Sarah sits on the side of the bed with Silas. I pick up the picture, gawking. I turn to her, my forehead wrinkled.
“I found it in the front zipper of my backpack. I was hoping to find my phone, but I found our Christmas pictures instead.” I ease over, sliding onto the bed on the other side of our son.
“You kept it, all these years?” Her eyes glint as she stares at it, memories flooding her mind, as they are mine.
“No duh, I kept it.” She brushes Silas’ hair out of his eyes, avoiding mine. “I had a five by seven made for him, so he would know his dad.”
Silas frowns, his mouth pulled to the side. “What’s wrong, Momma?”
She pulls Silas into her lap, looking him in the eyes. “Remember when I told you that one day your daddy would come find us?” He nods. “We talked about how much he loves you, even though he didn’t know you were here?”
“Uh-huh, I rememberw.” Silas tilts his head, listening.
My heart beats so hard, I think it may implode. “Well, he found us.”
“Why are you crwying, Momma.” He wipes her tears.
“It’s happy tears, baby boy.” She holds him close, and he glances at me. “That’s him in the picture.” She points at me, and Silas studies me.
My eyes well up. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner.” Silas twists his lip between his fingers. Sarah watches as I hold my breath, offering my hand for acceptance.
Silas cranes his neck, gauging Sarah’s reaction. She smiles at him, glancing at me. He turns to me, laying his hand in mine. “Momma said you’d come.”
I wrap his little fingers in my hand, and my eyes well with tears. “We have a lot to catch up on, you think you could show me the ropes?”
“Yeah, we can play carws and you can go to the parwk with us.” My sweet boy already owns his daddy’s heart.
“I’d like that, thank you.”
“How about we go get some grub?” Sarah says, tickling Silas.
“Pancakes!” he yells, making me laugh.
“Pancakes it is.” I stand, holding my hand out. “Wanna ride?”
“I mean, if you’re offering?” Her eyes smolder as a frenzied desire jumpstarts in my core. Yeah, my mind went there.
“Don’t even joke.” I focus on Silas. “How about a piggyback?”
Silas wraps his arms around my biceps. “Okay!”
Sarah scrambles from the bed, slipping behind me. She jumps on my back, and I reach for her thigh. “Like this, Silas.” I pick Silas up and begin walking, adjusting my hand on her ass.
“Chord, put me down. You can’t carry us both.” Luke stands in the kitchen, smirking.
“Lock those legs, sister. I think he’s got it handled.” He gestures to my hand on her ass and sips his coffee.
“Wave bye,” I say as she locks her legs around me.
They both wave with a smile. Luke lays his hand over his heart. “Y’all are killing me, bye.”
“Hold on,” I say as we start down the stairs.
Her eyes bug out. “Chord! I’m too heavy, you can’t do this.”
My hand squeezes her ass. “I got you, just keep those legs where they belong. You good, Silas?”
“Yeah, Momma’s making a funny face.” Silas giggles. Little does he know, I’m in heaven with my hand full of her ass and her grinding into my back.
“Momma’s fine.” I chuckle, giving her ass another squeeze. “Just fine.”
She presses her lips to my ear. “Still thinking your hand is permanently attached, huh?”
“No, ma’am. I’m just offering a helping hand.” My laugh tickles Silas, and he giggles with me.
“Hey, what are you laughing at?” She stretches over my shoulder to poke at Silas.
“He’s funny.” He points at me and I tighten my grip, earning me an inaudible moan.
“Yeah, he’s a riot,” she says as I release her ass to push the door open.
“For the record, my tickling skills are amazing.” I chuckle, crossing the street with them in tow.
I stop at the backdoor, allowing Sarah to slide down my body. She stands to my side as I stare at the SUV. “What?”
“Does he need a car seat?” My voice shaky, I feel like a jackass for not knowing.
Sarah’s face glows. “Oh, yeah. Let me grab it.” Her hand caresses my forearm before she bolts across the street. She pulls a seat from a car. Jogging back, she says, “Here, it’s from Luke’s car,”
“You know, I’m gonna need a shopping trip. There’s things I want to give y’all.” I avoid eye contact, unlocking the doors and standing Silas up. I set the seat in, buckling it down. I help Silas in, pulling the harness around him. I’m thankful for my nieces and nephews now, car seats are the devil.
“What’s that?” He points to the black box on the back of the seat.
“That’s a DVD player, buddy. You can watch movies on it while we ride.” I pause, do they not have one? And then I realize, I have no clue what he likes. Who he is? Feeling lightheaded, I steady myself on the car door. I stare at Silas as he smiles at me. “What do you say, after we eat, we go buy a few.”
“Can we? I want all the superhero movies.” He gives me a thumbs up.
I shut the door to find Sarah watching me. “You’re taking all of this incredibly well, you know that?”
“Isn’t this what we planned?” I shove my shaky hands in my pockets, hiding them. “Sarah, we didn’t cause this. We would’ve done it with age anyway. I know we’ve changed, but you’re still my best friend, that never has changed.”
Her mouth curves into a smile. “You’ve always been so sure about everything. How you are now, I have no clue.”
“Not everything, just us.” I wink. “May I?” I open the door for her as she climbs in.
I jump in, smiling like a loon. “Where are we going?”
“Down this street and over to Washington.” Sarah lifts the corner of her mouth when I raise my brows at her directions. “What?”
“How about you drive since you know where we’re going.” I hold the keys up.
“I can’t.” She winces. “I don’t have a license.”
“We’ll make a road trip outta it.” I wink at her, watching as she eases back into the seat.
A few wrong turns and we pull into the restaurant. I help Silas out as Sarah hangs near behind; it’s as though she’s allowing me to have time with him. I already have no clue how to leave them.
We’re seated and order when my phone rings. I glance at it. “It’s One. Hey, brother.”
“Hello. People are starting to ask questions, I wanted to check in before your phone is lit on fire.” His voice is low, Lea’s close by.
“I’m good. We’re having breakfast, catching up.” I smile at Sarah as a line forms between her brows.
“I’m assuming she’s there, since your answers are clipped. When can I tell everyone to expect you?” I watch as Sarah shifts in her seat, averting her eyes.
“Actually, I haven’t asked how long I can stay.” Sarah’s eyes snap to mine, and I shrug. “Hang on just a second.”
Muting the phone, I touch Sarah’s hand. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but I’m not ready to leave without you.”
She waves me off. “You can come and go as you want.”
What in the hell is going on? “Sarah, what’s wrong?” She lowers her head, I unmute the phone. “Can you give me a few and I’ll call you back?”
“I can do that.” He sighs. “I know something’s up, I expect a call this evening. Love you.”
“I love y’all.”
I end the call. Reaching for her hand, she pulls it from me. When our food arrives, Sarah doesn’t say much. So I talk with Silas, “Hey, buddy. Who’s your favorite superhero?”
“Thorw,” he replies with big eyes.
“Thor’s cool. What grade will you be in this year?”
“First but Momma said we might have to move.” He looks toward Sarah as I begin to trot my leg.
“Why are you moving?”
She avoids looking at me. “School district, but I haven’t decided on anything yet. We have a lot to consider.”
“Is there anything I can help with?” I push my sleeves up as it dawns on me I need a shower.
She purses her lips. “No, nothing to concern yourself with.” The fuck you say?
I sit up straight, leaning in. “What’s going on, Sarah?”
“Nothing. Are you finished, Silas?” He nods as Sarah stands. Wiping his mouth, she helps him from the seat and walks toward the door.
I toss the money on the table, following them outside. I catch up with them as they’re about to cross the street. I reach for Silas’ hand only to have Sarah pull him away. I begin to tremble as I glare at her.
She helps him into the seat, shutting his door. I wrap her wrist, pulling her to the back of the SUV. “What the fuck is happening? You tell me I have a son one minute and take him from me the next?”
“I don’t want you to think you owe us anything, you can visit whenever you want.” She folds her arms across her chest.
“Sarah.” I wait. “Sarah.” She glances at me. “Talk to me. It’s me, just us.”
“You just got here, now you have to leave. I understand you have a life, I guess I thought, maybe... I don’t know.” She rubs her palms into her eyes.
“I’m here now.”
“But for how long? Believe me, I know I sound ungrateful. Unreasonable even. I’m afraid, aren’t you?” She runs her hand through her hair, and all I can do is stand there because I get it.
“You’re damn right I am.” My pulse quickens when I take her in my arms. “We’ve always figured things out, and we can work this out.”
“I know, I’m fine. I just hate thinking of you leaving.” She pulls away, and I immediately feel cold from the separation.
“I need to run by and grab my suitcase. Let’s go grab some movies and head back to your place.” I walk with her to the door, holding it open until she’s settled in.
We stop by the Belmond long enough for me to run up and grab my things. On the way back to her place, we run in Target, getting every superhero movie and cartoon we can find.
“You’re spoiling him.” Sarah snickers.
“I plan on spoiling you both, just give me some time.” I peer at Silas in the rearview mirror watching Thor. We’re sitting in the SUV, letting him finish it while we talk.
“How long will you be gone?” Sarah picks at her nails as she stares out the side window.
“I have to check on my license and set a few things up. And I need to drop my keys off to Lea. Maybe three days.” I side-eye her.
Her head whips around. “Who’s Lea?”
“One’s wife. You’ve missed so much.” I nudge her leg. “Do you remember One divorcing Monty?”
“Oh, yeah. Thayer wanted to rip her hair out.” She grins.
“He met Lea, she’s amazing, you’ll love her. Get this, they have nine kids. Nine.” I laugh when her mouth hangs open.
“Nine?”
“Yeah, Lea was a single mom. She has three boys, two daughters-in-law, and one has a girlfriend. Then, she gets pregnant with One’s twins and they just had another daughter. They’re like their own tribe or something.” Her eyes now match her mouth. “And she’s a Sarah, Hadlea Sarah.”
“How many of each? Sarah’s a good name.”
“Umm, wait, I need to count.” We laugh. “Four boys and five girls. Nine, I’m telling you. And Thayer, wow. So she hooked up with Hardy. Do you remember him?” She nods. “Okay. They broke up, and she got engaged to Walker. On the day they were getting married, she left him and went back to Hardy. They have a son now, Holden.”
She covers her mouth, staring out the windshield. “Silas has ten cousins. He’ll be so happy.”
“He’ll definitely love playing at Mom and Dad’s.”
“How are Elise and Calder?” She shifts in her seat, facing me.
“They’re good. I think my family took losing you as hard as I did, Sarah. They’ll be thrilled to meet Silas.” I glance at him in the mirror.
“You didn’t tell them anything?” My chest tightens. I wanted to, man did I ever need someone.
“I couldn’t.” I drop my gaze. “It was our business, we always kept that between us. It took me a long time to even talk about you.”
“I’ve told Luke and Silas everything about you. I think Luke believed you were a figment of my imagination.” She giggles. “He appreciated said imagination the other night.”
“Appreciated what?”
“You.” Her nostrils flare as she gives me a once over. “Although, my memory didn’t do you justice.”
Desire floods my body when she licks her lips. “I can say the same thing. That, silver beaded thing ‘bout gave me a heart attack.”
Her eyes shimmer from the radio light. “It’s getting late, maybe we should take him in.”
I turn to Silas, and he’s fast asleep; we’ve talked for hours. “I’ll get him, let me set my bag out.” I lift our son from the seat, turning to find Sarah has my bag. “I can get it.”
“I’ve got it. Watch your step.” She points to the curb.
I follow her in, laying him in bed. “Does his clothes need changed or will he wake up?”
“Did you ever wake up easily?” She smirks, laying a t-shirt on the end of his bed.
“I can think of a few times, I rose to the occasion.” She bumps me with her hip.
“Ya know, our child is in the room.” She rolls her eyes.
“He has no clue what I said. Can I help?” I nod at the shirt.
“Sure, I’ve never tag teamed him.” We work Silas’ clothes off, replacing them with a night shirt. Once he’s tucked in, I can’t resist kissing his sweet face.
“I’m pretty sure he’s perfect.” I sweep his hair from his forehead, gazing at him. “Thank you, Sarah.”
She hurries from the room, sniffling. Closing the bedroom door, I follow her through the apartment. She’s leaning against the kitchen sink when I find her.
“I’ll never be able to make up for the time you’ve lost with him.” Her bottom lip quivers. “I hate you had to see me that way the other night, I hate doing it.”
“You were doing what it took to care for Silas. I don’t think any less of you for it.”
She huffs, “I saw you, Chord. The look of disgust on your face spoke volumes.”
“You don’t know nothing. It wasn’t what you were doing or what you had on.”
She leers at me. “Then what was it? Because from where I was standing, it was repulsion.”
I spin on her, pinning her against the sink. Her perfume invades my senses, and I lean in, running my nose over her jaw. “I hated they were looking at you. Gawking at what was mine.”
Her breath hitches as she presses into my cheek. “What was yours?”
I brush her lobe with my lips. “Is mine.” My hand is in her hair before I can stop myself, and I angle her face up. Staring into her eyes, our lips only an inch apart. A sound at the door makes us jump.
Luke walks around the corner. “Hey, folks. What’s up?” Sarah whirls around, running water in the sink for dishes. I lean against the counter.
“Nothing, we’re just doin’ dishes.” She keeps her head down, and Luke quirks his brow at me. I have nothing, so I shrug.
“How’d your day go?” He eyes me skeptically.
I nod.
“Good. We had a good time.”
Sarah turns enough to prop up on the sink. “Yeah, I’d say it was good.”
Luke’s gaze moves between us, finally, glancing at my crotch. “It looks like it was about to be real good.”
I hang my head as Sarah bolts from the room. I glance up, meeting Luke’s smirk. “By the way, this may not be the time, but I want to thank you for helping Sarah and Silas. It means more than you’ll ever know.”
He takes a seat at the table, and I follow his lead. “For the longest time, I thought the poor thing was delusional. Stories on top of memories of you two and how you’ve been friends for the longest time.”
“I know her better than anyone, although she’s been with you the last five years and there’s things I need to learn about the time I’ve missed, I love her.” I say as Luke places his elbows on the table.
“What are you thinking? Do you really believe, like she does, that you two can live happily ever after?” His face reddens as he presses me.
“Why can’t we?”
“It doesn’t happen, ever. Sarah can’t live some fairytale. She has responsibilities. Is your plan to be a part-time daddy, a weekend here and there?” He balls his hands on the table. He thinks he’s getting mad, he ain’t seen nothing yet.
“No, I don’t plan on being here like that.”
He smirks. “That’s what I thought.”
“I plan on marrying her as soon as she’s ready. That has been our plan for twelve years. Yes, even while she was gone, I made plans for us.” I lean forward. “I’m going to give her everything she deserves, everything I promised her.”
“You’re still in love with her, after all these years?” He tightens his lips.
“I never fell out of love.” I straighten my back. “It sounds insane, I can understand why people would think that, I do. But all these years, did she lose hope? Did she stop believing in us? Was there a time, she ever doubted my love?”
His face softens, relaxing his hands. “No.” He shakes his head. “You two share a rare thing, I’ve never seen anything like it. Don’t fuck it up.”
“I’m gonna do my best. I’ve dreamed of this day for six years, nothing prepared me for it. I’d be a damn fool if I said I wasn’t nervous because I damn well am. Even scared, she means everything to me.”
