Alpha Dragon: Alpha Bites Book 3
Page 12
It was strange, speaking of this with Garret’s younger sister, someone who hadn’t even existed when all of this happened, and Dennis was overcome with the need, the desperate urge, to make her understand, to see that he was not a monster.
“The ones who did the crime are either long dead or no longer in this pack, though I suppose that hardly matters since the ones who flocked to my father before he passed, and after, are not much better. Murderers and thieves. I don’t know that any of them have ever raped a woman, but I wouldn’t put it past them either.”
“So why do you keep taking them in if they’re so bad?”
Fair enough question. “This is their home now. Do you know what happens to a shifter who can’t control their transformation?”
Anna nodded. “Yeah, they go crazy and hurt people, and that’s how we get movies like The Wolfman.”
Dennis smiled. “Yeah, something like that. We’re not technically a pack of rogues since you can’t be a rogue and be in a pack at the same time. That’s not how it works, but we might as well be. I teach them control, and in return, they give me their loyalty.”
Or they had up until that little prick Laurence started fucking around with the status quo.
“But none of them are the ones who…hurt that girl?”
Dennis shook his head. “No.”
“Who was the girl?”
Dennis thought for a long moment. “If your brother didn’t tell you and no one else old enough to be there at the time told you, then it’s not your business.” He didn’t want Anna knowing anything Katie didn’t want her to know.
Color suddenly flooded Anna’s cheeks. She turned away, as if embarrassed to hear such a thing. She mumbled something under her breath and nodded. That was all Dennis needed to know she wouldn’t ask anymore.
Dennis sighed. “I’m sure she felt particularly betrayed by me, however.”
Anna looked at him.
He didn’t want to tell her these things. He really didn’t, but she needed to know. She needed to know the side of Dennis that existed if he ever hoped to gain an ounce of her understanding.
“We were both young, it was a puppy love sort of thing. We held hands, were each other’s first kiss, but I loved my father. When she accused him one day, hysterical, in front of the entire pack, I didn’t want to believe it. I refused to believe it. I sided with my father. Garret’s…your father, he didn’t take kindly to any of this. He sniffed out the culprits, beat the hell out of them in front of the entire pack. I tried to step in and stop him, and for my trouble, James broke my nose and fractured my wrist. Not seriously damaging for a shifter, but it still hurt. It was humiliating.” Dennis wet his lips. “I’m not trying to say anything bad about your dad either. I deserved it. Looking back, I sometimes wish James had done worse, had beaten me until I woke up and was able to see the truth for what it was, what was right in front of me.”
Anna’s voice was soft, barely there when she spoke. “And what was the truth?”
Dennis shook his head. “That my father was not a good man. He never was. I always thought he was strict, too severe, but he was my father, and I loved him. I loved him more than I loved the girl whose hand I held on the log by the stream, who was shy and sweet. I defended him, others did as well, but that was no excuse. The evidence was there. It wasn’t as if she was simply making a wild accusation, or her story wasn’t lining up, I just refused to see it. When your father opted to toss out anyone supporting the accused attackers, I couldn’t believe it. I asked for Garret’s help, and he refused to give it.” He pressed his lips together. “For years I hated him for that.”
Anna said nothing, and Dennis lost all courage to look her in the eyes.
“So…he really did it?”
Dennis clenched his fists. “My father confessed as much to me on his deathbed some years later.” He shook his head. “I still didn’t want to believe it, even when he told me what happened. He gave his excuses, that he was drunk and angry, didn’t like all the freedom the omegas had compared to the old days, and I nodded and sat there next to him while he died of sickness in the winter.” He stared down at his hands.
“A few days later, when I’d finished burning him and could think straight, I let it hit me. He hadn’t been lying. His excuses were bullshit, but otherwise, he’d been telling the truth. He and a couple of his friends got wasted and they kidnapped and gang raped an underaged omega in our pack.” He almost said more, about how it happened, how Katie used to be one of the omegas with cooking responsibilities, and that was how they’d gotten her.
Dennis had thought about this over and over again, so many times that it haunted him. He often thought about what must have happened when the door was opened and Katie was allowed into that room with all those betas to deliver the food and snacks Dennis’ father had ordered. Had she been scared right away? Or just creeped out and eager to be out of that room? What had she been thinking when she’d realized she wouldn’t be coming out? Did she call for Dennis to help her? Did she think she was going to die when they took her to the woods?
“What…what happened to the others?”
Dennis looked at Anna. Her cheeks were unnaturally pale. He didn’t need to ask who she was talking about.
“I killed them. Some confessed, some didn’t, but I murdered them with my bare hands when I realized what they’d done, and I hadn’t meant to take their side so much as my father’s, but I wanted them to die for it anyway.” He’d thought that if he’d killed the others involved, it would absolve him, and maybe, somehow, make Katie’s pain a little less. It had been a stupid thought, of course, since there was no way for Katie to know that Dennis had killed her other attackers at all.
“I tried asking forgiveness from Garret and James. Obviously, they didn’t let me back into the pack.” His hands still ached from where Dane had broken his fingers.
So much fighting, and it was all for stupid shit at this point. None of it was for the reason it had started over.
“You’re bleeding.”
Dennis hissed at the sudden pain. He glanced down at his hands. He’d been thinking so hard that he hadn’t noticed his claws coming out, or the way he’d been digging them into the palms of his hands.
Dennis raised his hands, looking at the blood that spilled into the little cracks of his palms. There had been blood on his hands for so long that this little bit shouldn’t matter.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for what I did to your father. I didn’t mean to. I was…I wanted to know if he would take someone into the pack. Not me, but someone else. He didn’t, and we fought.”
No need to tell her how that ended. With James dead, and Dennis still up royally fucked.
Anna didn’t answer him. The silence was thick, and he allowed himself to stew in it for a moment.
Dennis looked up at Anna when he could take no more. “I didn’t call for the ransom.”
Anna jerked slightly. “What?”
It was almost funny how she could have more of a reaction when he told her this than about how he’d killed her father. Dennis hardened himself. He was done feeling these things, this guilt, and this lust for someone he would never have.
“I never called your brother for the ransom. He doesn’t know where we are. Not yet.”
Anna’s nostrils flared. It was interesting to watch as she attempted to contain her anger. “Not yet. What does that mean?”
Dennis shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. Laurence is too much of an idiot. Worse than being an idiot, he’s an idiot who thinks he’s smart. That can be dangerous. He might be able to put together a plan to meet up with your brother to exchange the cash he wants for your release, but whether he decides to leave you here alive when he and the others abandon this place, I have no idea.”
Anna glared at him. “Great. Thank you so much for telling me that.”
He took in the full force of her anger and hatred. He let himself feel it, let it soak into him because he deserved it. He wanted
more of it. He needed her to despise him.
But he also needed her to live.
Dennis purposely lowered his voice. “Tonight, when everyone else is sleeping, we’re getting out of here.”
Anna continued to glare at him until she realized what had been said to her. Then she blinked those wide blue eyes, as if she couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. “Are you serious?”
Dennis nodded, holding a finger to his lips, needing her to not raise her voice too much. These walls weren’t soundproofed, and Dennis couldn’t have anyone else overhearing him and spoiling his plans.
Something changed in Anna’s eyes in that moment, the blue almost swimming as she nodded.
Determination shone there, and enough gratitude to apparently put her on the verge of tears. He needed her to save that gratitude because he didn’t want or need it. He didn’t deserve it anyway.
This girl was his mate, and Dennis had been doing this for so long that he was tired. He’d never realized how tired he was before now—tired of fighting, of living in squalor, and of being ashamed of himself for existing.
He couldn’t save Katie, hadn’t so much as defended her, so maybe he could find some redemption if he could protect this young woman right here. It had been a mistake to take her, and he could at least make this right. Maybe then he could die and finally get some peace.
“Thank you.” Anna’s voice was choked slightly as she continued to stare at Dennis with those grateful eyes.
He had to look away from them.
Chapter 14
Dane came back with Joey before Jax finished with Katie.
Jax had been in the middle of something major important when Dane’s big, stupid gorilla fist pounded on his door.
“Hey! I brought the kid back. Come on!”
What the hell? Was Dane so intent on Jax going to see Joey that he really didn’t know what Jax was doing with his mate? It wasn’t like Jax had been the one to destroy the kid’s leg.
Still, he felt some minor obligation to go and check on the kid, since Jax had been there when he was injured, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Katie’s side, and she had her hands in his hair, gripping tight. “Don’t even think about going anywhere until you finish.”
Jax was more than eager to give his mate what she wanted in that regard, and he happily did as he was told.
They had to get ready quickly to make up for lost time after that, which was a nightmare because the spell was officially broken now that Jax was no longer inside his mate.
Katie dressed swiftly, not looking at him, not smiling at him, totally closed off from him. Were they back at square one?
Jax didn’t want to leave the bedroom in that moment. Christ, how could he? How could he walk out that door and pretend as if nothing had happened between them?
“We should stay here.”
Katie finally looked at him, but only after pulling her shirt over her perfect breasts.
“No, we should go see him. Not every day an omega saves an alpha from himself, right?”
That was true, but was Jax seriously supposed to stand on ceremony for him when things felt like they were regressing with Katie?
It seemed he didn’t have much of a choice when she walked to the door, though this time, she did finally look back and smile at him. “Are you coming?”
He was, and now he felt marginally better about this whole thing. He could breathe a little easier.
Also, Katie followed him, so that helped, having her close.
Jax needed to watch himself. He was going to turn into exactly the type of clingy bastard Katie was afraid he would be.
“What’s that look for?”
Katie walked beside him through the house. Jax hadn’t realized he’d been making a face. He refused to look at her. “Nothing.”
Joey was in a good mood when they made it to his room. He was sitting up, conscious, and even eating from a takeout bag. He was definitely handling his injury just fine, and his healing appeared to finally be kicking in, though his leg was still in a cast from when Dane had mauled him. Joey didn’t seem to mind. He was like a little king as Dane waited on him, and Lois profusely thanked the omega for trying to protect her when Dane lost his marbles a little.
It was obvious who had picked up the food for him, and even a growing omega could have an alpha like appetite from time to time. That was made abundantly clear when Joey pulled out a little apple pie, stuck some of his fries on top, and stuck almost the entire thing in his mouth.
Yeah, the kid was going to enjoy himself way too damned much, and Jax couldn’t entirely blame him for it.
Dane had been having his own mating problems with Lois not too long ago. The rage and frustration an alpha could go through when that happened was known to be intense, which was why most alphas made a habit of not avoiding their mates.
Dane had wanted a fight. He’d wanted to fight with Garret, to get some of that tension out. Lois, not understanding what she was seeing, had foolishly tried to step in the way and stop the fight. It hadn’t come to that. Joey spotted her, grabbed her by the arm, and yanked her back.
Unfortunately, an alpha in that sort of raw animal state wasn’t something that could be easily reasoned with. Dane hadn’t seen that Joey had pulled Lois out of harm’s way in that moment. He’d just seen another male grabbing his mate, and he’d gone on the warpath.
Luckily, Joey was all right. He’d milk that cow for all it was worth, too, and if Jax was being honest, it was hilarious watching Dane growl as he was forced to grovel for forgiveness to the younger man.
Alphas didn’t always grovel to omegas. Not unless those omegas also happened to be their mates.
Jax glanced down at Katie very briefly before turning away. Their own relationship, if it could be called that, was so fucked up. Jax still had no idea where he stood. He didn’t know if that last round in bed had been an attempt from Katie to take control over herself and her past, or if she would change her mind about all this when everything was said and done.
He already knew what he was going to do if that was the case, however. If Katie came to him in an hour, two hours, or two days, and told him she wasn’t ready, he would back off, just like he’d always done. He would give her the space she needed, but this time, he wouldn’t tell her his plans to break off the mating. That shit would just pressure her again.
Jax tensed at the unexpected pressure he felt in his hand. Holy shit, was she…? He was almost scared to look down and see for himself.
He didn’t have to. Jax felt the soft squeeze of her fingers as Katie held his hand.
He squeezed back, probably a little harder than he needed to, but he wasn’t going to let her go again. He’d tried to stay away; he’d even offered to back off and let the mating dissolve, but she’d made her wishes clear.
“Can we go somewhere?”
Jax glanced down at Katie. She wasn’t looking back up at him. Her eyes were locked on the way Joey openly enjoyed having an alpha as his servant.
“Sure. Let’s go.”
He didn’t bother telling Lois and Dane they were leaving. There wasn’t much of a point when neither person was paying much attention to them anyway.
Jax waited until they were a fair distance away from the room before he started talking, low enough that any passing omega or beta either wouldn’t hear them, or would politely ignore.
“I hope you’re not about to tell me you’re rethinking this.”
Now Katie did look up at him. “What?”
Jax kept his eyes straight ahead, though the muscles in his jaw seemed to clench of their own volition. “What I say to you, you’re probably not going to like, but I’m going to tell you anyway.”
She waited for him to continue. He did.
“I tried to give you your space. That didn’t work. I told you I would leave you alone entirely and hope that the mating would break off, and you didn’t want that. Now you’re holding my hand and I can’t let it go. You need to know that, if
you change your mind about all this, I likely won’t be able to give you what you want.” She said nothing. Jax growled softly. “I’ve been thinking about this. I kept thinking that if you changed your mind, I would still walk away, still do the honorable thing by you, but now…that’s over now.”
“You won’t walk away?”
“I won’t be honorable,” he corrected.
He hated that about himself just then, that he wouldn’t have the strength to do right by his mate, to give her what she wanted, but he couldn’t help himself either. He wanted to be selfish. He was tired of being the good guy. He’d waited long enough and he wasn’t going to stop now.
“Good.”
Something flipped in Jax’s chest. He looked down at her. “Good? Just like that?”
Now she was summoning her own strength by not looking at him. Funny how they were so much alike. “It’s clear that if I’m left to my own devices, I’ll just hurt the both of us. What happened to me…I’ll never forget it, but I let it control me too easily. With you, it’s different.”
Jax sensed the rising heat in her body as she spoke. This always seemed to happen whenever she brought up the past, as if she couldn’t entirely bring herself to admit that it had happened, that someone, a group of someones, had violated her so badly and tossed her aside like she was trash.
Not for the first time and certainly not for the last, Jax found himself holding back his own rage even as he thought about it. He wished he’d known her back then, wished they had been kids together, unlike her and that piece of shit Dennis and his friends.
Jax sometimes fantasized about what he would have done if he’d been there. He liked to think he would have protected her, stopped it before it could have happened, but that was stupid wishful thinking. Even if he’d been part of the pack back then, it was unlikely he would have known what was going on until it was too late. Just the way Katie described those men and boys made Jax highly doubt he would have been friends with them, so how could he have picked up on what they were planning? It hadn’t even been planned, according to Katie. She’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time when a bunch of pigs got too drunk, rowdy, and full of themselves.