A Hundred Thoughts Volume 1

by Tehreem Ali

(1)

  It’s a brand new day,

  So do what you could never say.

  It’s a new rhythm in that air,

  So look at life like it’s a dare.

  It’s a new dawn on the horizon,

  So wait for the dark to lighten.

  And it’s a new sun that has set,

  So search for what you could never get.

  (2)

  They don’t know & they don’t care

  If we listen of if we stare.

  They can’t hear & they can’t see

  If we are slaves or if we are free.

  And they don’t come & stop by

  To check if we live or die.

  (3)

  I was floating on a cloud of Dream

  Upon a land where nothing is what it seems.

  People down below look at my Dreamcloud,

  Their minds filling with questions & doubts.

  And because they had never travelled like this before,

  I gave them my Dreamcloud & fell below on the seashore.

  (4)

  The floorboards creak beneath my feet

  As I walk in the cellar where we’ll meet.

  A flickering bulb hangs from the ceiling

  So in the dark we won’t know with what we’re dealing.

  And just when I thought it was a lovely day,

  I saw your ghost standing in the doorway.

  (5)

  Words are the broken swords

  That can’t help us win Love’s war.

  When we neither loose nor gain,

  Hope is the bird that flies to our window-pane.

  Yet when one of us gets up to turn the dice,

  Love appears through beauty & sacrifice.

  (6)

  The walls are filled with tapestry,

  Created with skill & mastery.

  Sounds of music echo from one room

  While in the garden flowers bloom.

  But in the basement under this beauty of chaos,

  A room if filled with blood & moss.

  (7)

  I picked up a magic wand from the shelf

  And started to chant all by myself.

  Dusty books chatted around me,

  Telling me all I could be.

  Strange symbols & signs

  Fly in the air all by themselves.

  I asked them where magic can be found in space

  And they told me I was looking in the wrong place.

  Because it’s nothing but life

  Which every law of logic defies.

  (8)

  You can’t change the colour of the blue ocean

  Or stop the wheels of Time set in motion.

  You can’t change Reality into Fiction

  Or control someone’s drug-addiction.

  But if you work it right,

  You might see the light.

  (9)

  An old man died in the night

  For he couldn’t carry the burden of life.

  People put flowers on his graves

  And continued living on the money they had saved.

  But years have passed & upon those people Death feeds,

  Not with their money but with their deeds.

  (10)

  I write these words in black and blue,

  Hoping they find their way to you.

  I sing this song with the voice of my soul,

  Hoping it will echo to you my goal.

  I cherish this smile in your memory,

  Hoping it will shine on you when you’re blurry.

  And I leave this world today,

  Hoping it will show you all I couldn’t say.

  (11)

  I opened a little door

  And fell on a seashore.

  The waves drifted me till I could fly

  Among stars in a salty sky.

  But from there I fell upon the earth

  For they said I was only a mortal by birth.

  (12)

  They give us books to learn

  And chemicals to burn.

  Frogs to dissect,

  Equations never to forget.

  And though they tell us to learn Nature’s diversity,

  How are we supposed to travel there if we’re stuck

  In school, college and then university?

  (13)

  If life is an ocean & you’re on its surface,

  I’ll take you to its depths of grace.

  If you want to get wasted on love,

  I’ll bring you all its doses that you never even thought of.

  If you’re a picture frame & not its painter,

  I’ll build you an art gallery & make you its curator.

  If you want but don’t wish to be found.

  I’ll send you my love that will echo in your sound.

  And if you’re a ghost on a highway of fallen kings,

  I’ll teach you to fly & mend your broken wings.

  (14)

  I heard your song at the end of a show

  And my heart travelled with your voice to places it would never go.

  I gazed into the beauty your eyes stole

  For they offered me a glimpse into your soul.

  And I couldn’t stop loving you even though I tried

  When I heard you sing ‘Letters from the Sky’.

  (15)

  The winds cough out smoke.

  Raindrops from acids choke.

  Tress in forests cry when they’re cut.

  Lands fall ill from toxins swimming in their gut.

  But when Nature closes its door after it has waited,

  We will vanish in the horror we’ve created.

  (16)

  Angels question the dead in graves.

  Unknown creatures reside in jungles and caves.

  Remains of lost cities wait to be found.

  Million treasures sit untouched under the ground.

  But no one cares & no one bothers

  For everyone chokes on Ignorance that smothers.

  (17)

  I crash and break

  Through my broken heartache.

  I stumble & fall

  While climbing Love’s wall.

  I shatter & disappear

  So no one could come near.

  I live & I die

  But you never came to say goodbye.

  (18)

  Stars sticking on the sky are resilient.

  Sun spreads its rays, gold & brilliant.

  Evening sings a peaceful song.

  Night seems quiet and long.

  Stories are told by the rainfall

  But people don’t listen for they are busy

  In their jobs & attending phone calls.

  (19)

  The choices we make,

  The consequences we face,

  The beauty we disgrace,

  The time we waste,

  The history we trace,

  Are all little matters

  In love’s case.

  (20)

  We swim in a sea with no end,

  Healing after we break & bend.

  We cross the boundaries dividing life from death,

  Loosing our hopes & dreams in a single breath.

  We stand on empires of our fallen ashes,

  Ruling over conscious before it crashes.

  And we think we know all that we perceive,

  Without knowing what to think or believe.

  (21)

  I lost my love in the shadows of your mercy

  And inhaled you soul but it was dusty.

  But when I was dying alone in the gloom,

  You found me with your life’s bloom.

  (22)

  Open the windows of that idle mind

  And you’ll see what you couldn’t find.

  Say hello to the lonely gray clouds

  And you’ll find answers for your doubts.

  Try to count the stars in the sky

  And you’ll know if it’s easy to fly.


  Walk on a path lost & unknown

  And you’ll find a whole new different zone.

  In the end, loose a bit of reality

  And you’ll understand your mortality.

  (23)

  Seconds tick silently.

  Moons glow gallantly.

  The demons of silence rejoice

  To destroy the throne of noise

  And when I smile, all this will run a-mile.

  (24)

  In my kingdom is a golden room

  Which always glows & blooms.

  People try to steal it from me

  But I’ve hid it beneath an iron sea.

  When the world is a glass that doesn’t gleam,

  I go to my golden room where I live & dream.

  (25)

  Rest your aching bones

  In this castle made of stones.

  When the morning sun comes,

  You will be served with peaches & plums.

  People will gift you with jewels & crowns

  And echo your name in streets & towns.

  But when Worm of Death conquers your kingdom,

  Only the sands in your grave will be your freedom.

  (26)

  I fell, I stumbled

  Bu it didn’t make me any humble

  I was lost & running in the night

  And that’s when I found you sitting in the moonlight.

  (27)

  For all the lives lost in a day,

  No one can find words to say.

  For every empire risen & fallen,

  No one can take back what is given.

  For all the genius gone wasted,

  No one can gather the isolated.

  For the greatest of emotions,

  No one can stop the bombs & explosions.

  But for some of those who still hope & dream,

  No one can make life more supreme.

  (28)

  In this cave a lonely ghost sleeps

  Who silently in the night weeps.

  He once had a heart & mind

  But he lost everything to a world unkind.

  His story was one no one ever heard

  So he sought out the company of jungles & birds.

  Everyone called him a loner & an outcast

  Because he was a shadow with an empty past.

  But when he evaporated into a thin winter frost,

  People realized he was a reflection of memories they lost.

  (29)

  Slip into a melting sea of dreams

  For in this world nothing is what it seems.

  Jump off cliffs of glory

  For then everyone will tell your story.

  Crash into a tumult of insanity

  For it will make you forget deceit & vanity.

  Ride on wild horses of Time

  For it will make you feel sublime.

  Follow the soul & the mind

  For then you’ll see love even if you’re blind.

  (30)

  We crave to be glorious

  But all we becomes is notorious

  Money, corruption & blood is all we know

  While what we reap, is what we sow.

  (31)

  Will you go where the dawn breaks

  And bring me the light no one takes?

  Will you fly to the edges of mountains

  And bring me water from Love’s fountain?

  Will you swim in the oceans and lakes

  And show me the beauty that only God makes?

  But when I’m gone, will you rule my kingdom

  And fight for my memory’s freedom?

  (32)

  Hearts collapse from the burden of Love.

  Minds don’t know anymore what to think of.

  But in this darkness which makes no one see,

  A lighted soul flies by free.

  (33)

  The rhythm of your soul died

  So I couldn’t sleep even after I tried.

  The light of your smile faded

  So I couldn’t love all those I hated.

  The warmth from your hands left at bay

  So I couldn’t help but drift away.

  (34)

  Where do you go when you are lonely?

  Do you scream or sit calmly?

  What do you do when you are lost?

  Do you let your soul die in the frost?

  What do you say when you are broken?

  Do you search for words that can’t be spoken?

  And when do you know how to love

  When you forget what to think of?

  (35)

  Some door opens & some closes

  While everyone runs to get their drug doses

  Where they go, how they die,

  Is something that will never be known

  By you and I.

  (36)

  Come to the fields that sing

  And meet the armored kind.

  Together we will conquer lands

  And die in each other’s hands.

  Our names will echo through these streets

  While our hearts rest in graves where they beat.

  (37)

  Sinking beneath the light of love,

  I saw your halo up above.

  Waves of our memories hit me fast

  Because I couldn’t let go of our past.

  And just before I breathed my last,

  I saw you reach out for me through a broken glass.

  (38)

  Dreams fall out of trees like leaves

  While somewhere a lonely soul greaves.

  Hate eats all it can swallow

  But gravity fails to pull it below.

  And when the love is broken,

  No one will hear what is spoken.

  (39)

  Actors behind the curtain are all dead.

  So who will listen if nothing is said?

  Scientists have forgotten to dream.

  So who will the future now redeem?

  Politicians took off their masks.

  So who will smuggle corruption in flasks?

  Philosophers have lost their sense of wrong & right.

  So who will erase the ignorance in the night?

  Believers have drowned in the flood.

  So who will nip the evil in the bud?

  (40)

  Crash, fall & then rise.

  That is how Fear dies.

  Flow, drown & then swim.

  That is how Strength fills every limb.

  Burn, bleed & then heal.

  That is how Pride can feel.

  Sacrifice, suffer & then astound

  That is how Love is found.

  Try, loose & then win.

  That is how Life will begin.

  (41)

  Certain things you cannot change, they say,

  But who knows what might happen today?

  Not every answer can be found, they believe,

  But who know what others can perceive?

  There is an existence of reality, they think,

  But who knows it changes to a dream in a blink?

  Most of us are crazy, they complain,

  But know knows if sanity isn’t insane?

  A friend in need’s a friend indeed, they theorize,

  But who knows if a friend doesn’t compromise?

  (42)

  O, Crystal Ball!

  Who among us will rise & who will fall?

  O, Magic of the Mind!

  Who will dream on & who will stop behind?

  O, Kingdom of Life!

  Who will surrender & who will strike?

  O, Power of Thought!

  Who will fly freely & who will be caught?

  O, Siren of Misery!

  Who will break & who will show bravery?

  O, Doors of Heaven!

  Who will be a determined soul & who will be shaken?

  O, Pits of Hell!

  Wo will burn & who will repel?

  O, Bringer of Mercy!

  Who
will listen & who will see?

  And O, Angel of Death!

  Who will take opium & who will take meth?

  (43)

  Somewhere along these lines

  I search for symbols and signs.

  Hate, hope, love and loss

  Is all that I come across.

  But why this all comes through pain

  Is what I can never explain.

  (44)

  When your eyes burn with heat,

  Go to the horizon where we’ll meet.

  When your mind breaks from confusion,

  Jump in the midst of my illusion.

  And when your world starts to fall,

  Build it from my love’s wall.

  (45)

  I followed the sun on the bleak horizon

  And came across a witch and her lion.

  She gave me a book made of leaves

  That contained a list of blessings that man receives.

  A scent of lemon dripped from every page

  Which made the lion trapped in a cage.

  The sun came up & burned the witch to ashes

  And from the book sprouted flowers & grasses.

  I bent low & observed a flower.

  It told me no one can ever count God’s blessings or His power.

  (46)

  Run & scream till you go mad

  Because everyone thinks your story is sad.

  Eat & sleep till you no longer feel

  Because everyone thinks you can’t heal.

  Bend & break till you shatter

  Because everyone thinks you don’t matter.

  (47)

  Smell of fear roams these dark paths

  When life is only a problem of maths.

  Questions lead to no answers but only doubts

  While hate spills from everyone’s mouths.

  (48)

  Like a forgotten song no one sings,

  A grey feather from a broken wing,

  A raindrop colored black & blue,

  A story neither false nor true,

  A second floating in Eternity,

  A delusion close to insanity,

  A dream shattered & broken,

  A soul confused & shaken,

  A line unreadable,

  Life is unpredictable.

  (49)

  We leave behind tendrils of our memories.

  Seconds drip into centuries.

  Who is gone never comes back.

  There is no use walking on a lost track.

  Slowly, we fade away into a void

  And leave everything we loved & enjoyed.

  (50)

  I hear the sound of my soul

  Begging to fill its hole.

  I feel my heart forget to beat

  Wanting nothing but love’s heat

  But when I glanced in my mind

  Hope is all I find.

  (51)

  Is that your shadow or just a lost choice?

  Is it a melody or just a lonely voice?

  Is there ray of hope lighting the dark?

  Is it the voice of your laughter I heard from the park?

  Is that the dream I lost in your sleep?

  Is it the promise you can no longer keep?

  And is it the fall of Love’s empire that I see

  Or is it just me?

  (52)

  Some graves were dug today.

  Some souls carried away.

  Some newborn opened his eyes.

  Some friends said their goodbyes.

  And while some sleep in the cold of the night,

  Some stay awake & with their fears fight.

  (53)

  The doors of Mercy are closed

  For everyone has been with hate dosed.

  Broken hearts litter these streets

  Yet you and I will still be able to meet.

  (54)

  A helpless little girl was running in a dark alley.

  She had long red hair & her name was Sally.

  A killer was chasing her with a knife

  So she had to think of how to save her life.

  Around a corner she stopped & hid in a shadows.

  The killer found her & sent her some deathly blows.

  But she knotted him tightly with her long red hair

  And taking the knife, did what was fair.

  (55)

  Dream

  And you will know life is supreme.

  Hope

  And your doubts will elope.

  Love

  And you will fly free like a dove.

  Learn

  And you will never with Ignorance burn.

  Try

  And you will be able to simplify.

  Forgive

  And you will learn how to outlive.

  (56)

  The days eat my soul;

  Together, forever

  First its pain, then its’ never.

  The tears glow.

  The blood flows

  In the wake of the lonely light

  That in the night grows.

  (57)

  Fear is a cold monster.

  Anger is a great conqueror.

  Guilt is a useless emotion.

  Pain is a constant with uniform motion.

  Hate is a raging storm.

  Anxiety is a creature without form.

  But no matter how much we ignore it all with acumen,

  This is what makes us human.

  (58)

  I lie awake at night

  Because people next door continue to fight.

  The lamp on my bedside table blinks

  And forces me to think what no one thinks.

  I get up & open the window

  And the wind feels as soft as my pillow.

  But when I turn towards my bed,

  I see my own self & realize I am dead.

  (59)

  I had a feeling you were alone

  So I called you on your phone.

  It rang for days and hours

  While you were busy conquering the world with your powers.

  I gave up when my hope ran thin

  And that’s when I realized it was me you were trying to win.

  (60)

  500 miles of Dreamland to conquer,

  1000 Memories to shatter,

  Infinite Thoughts to free from captivity

  But only a few willing to show that bravery.

  (61)

  A big Dreamstar fell on earth one night.

  Its glow made people see wrong from right.

  All the minds were empty & rough

  So light from the Dreamstar wasn’t enough.

  It couldn’t fill the emptiness laid bare

  Because people started using it more than their share

  Now every bit of glow from the Dreamstar has disappeared,

  Leaving an empty space in the minds of those who feared.

  (62)

  Up upon that violet hill

  Lives a man who likes to kill.

  In the dark of the silent night he treads

  To find victims upon which he feeds.

  But one day he ate a drug addict of opium and meth

  And unknowingly caused his own death.

  (63)

  Neither the moon nor the stars

  Can tell me my story from that far.

  Neither the wind nor the rain

  Can carry me to the runaway train.

  Neither water nor fire

  Can stop me from getting higher.

  But when the demons of sleep conquer my mind

  Only the magic of Dreams can show me what I can’t find.

  (64)

  They will call you crazy

  If you feel as happy as a daisy.

  They will call you delusional

  If you hear voices in your head that are inscrutable.

  They will call you an outcast

  If you’re unique with a different past.

  They will call you lonely
<
br />   If you live in your own world of fantasy.

  But when you’re long gone,

  In darkness they’ll realize you lighted up their dawn.

  (65)

  I wrote your name in my diary

  Yet to me you’re still a mystery.

  I echo your voice in my sound

  Because we are forever bound.

  And in death, I’ll carry your memory in my grave

  For it is what will make me brave.

  (66)

  Everybody needs a second chance

  And go out there to enjoy the dance.

  Everybody dreams of fame & glory

  And starts afresh to tell a new story.

  Everybody longs to feel love

  And get up from the ground to rise above.

  Everybody wants the beauty & brains

  And find a way out when their hope drains.

  Everybody wants to learn a different language

  And pretend that they live in a golden age.

  Everybody wants to outlive

  And learn what to take & what to give.

  (67)

  I ripped a hole in the sky

  Because I always asked where & why.

  The peaceful silence in my mind faded

  Since our days separated.

  Apathy found its way to my doorstep

  Yet I’m unable to call for help.

  But deep inside, I hope for a better day

  For then together we will find out way.

  (68)

  I stand in front of the A.C.

  For my eyes burn & I can’t see.

  I bury my hands in cold ice

  For they show signs of life’s broken dice.

  But when I ran out of breath,

  You came to save me from my own death.

  (69)

  There’s no need to always win.

  So stop the competition & throw it in the bin.

  We’re all pieces of a single grain of sand

  So don’t beautify by colour of faces or hands.

  Those who live must die

  So stop mourning & try to fly.

  What is done can’t be undone

  So take a chance & have some fun

  For this life is nothing more than a blinking light

  That will go out before you make yourself right.

  (70)

  Light & dark thrive in every mind.

  We are both cruel & kind.

  Sometimes we smile & sometimes we cry.

  A few fall down while others fly.

  One of us dies & the other lives

  But everyone has Love which only God gives.

  (71)

  Remember this day & what it brings

  For it will be from where Future takes wings.

  Remember this sunlight & its warmth

  For it will be survival in the cold storm.

  Remember this feelings & its outcome

  For it will give you life when you’re numb.

  And remember this dream & its meaning

  For it will make you smile when you’re grieving.

  (72)

  I was walking alone in the rain,

  Too tired & numb to feel any pain.

  Somewhere along the way I got lost

  And came to a barrier I couldn’t cross.

  There I met a friendly looking stranger

  Who warmed me that I was in danger.

  But when I asked him the meaning of what he’d said,

  The rain stopped & sunlight revealed I was walking in the land of the dead.

  (73)

  Sands & oceans fill my kingdom

  Where all my dreams fly in freedom.

  Castles of my memories and thoughts

  Rest in the stars where they don’t get caught.

  But every blow of wind is empty like my soul

  And only you can fill that hole.

  (74)

  When I fall out of love,

  I will fly to you like a dove.

  When I loose myself in the mist,

  I will hold on firmly to your wrist.

  When I forget my past,

  I will see through your memories till they last.

  But when my soul drifts away,

  Our dreams will together in an eternity sway.

  (75)

  You were standing up while I fell down.

  You left the city when I came into town.

  You acted all brave when I was scared.

  You came to fight when I was unprepared.

  You ruled over empires while I was banished.

  You became famous when I languished.

  You were justified while I was rejected.

  You were guarded when I was unprotected.

  And when you were ready to repent,

  I was forced to leave like I had dreamt.

  (76)

  I was born into a world of Corruption and Theft

  But you didn’t care for me & left.

  You gave up on me when I needed you the most

  So now I’m nothing but a lonely ghost.

  Years have passed & here I am with you,

  Caged in your prison & there’s nothing I can do.

  (77)

  A man lay on a large slab of steel,

  So numb with pain he couldn’t think or feel.

  A drip ran deep in his carotid

  Which sucked his blood & it fell on the floor, wasted.

  Drop by drop, his life was waning out

  And that he knew he would die alone, he had no doubt.

  He tried to scream in his dark torture room

  But without energy he was left to suffer a doom.

  Just as his last blood-drop fell to the floor in this dilemma,

  He heard a nurse wake him up & realized he’d been in a coma.

  (78)

  Yesterday is gone with the wind.

  Today brings nothing but evil and sin.

  Tomorrow a new holocaust will begin.

  But at the end only good will win.

  (79)

  Ticking clocks buried in graves.

  Kings & masters serving their slaves.

  The weight of gravity brings upside down.

  Beggars & thieves ruling in every town

  Chemicals & acids strewn in streets.

  Politicians doing a jugglar’s feats.

  This is the chaos that will bring the End

  And no one will know an enemy from a friend.

  (80)

  People get wasted on drugs & wine

  And if anyone asks, they say they’re fine.

  They can’t understand it’s a matter of life & death

  When they puff out cigarette smoke from their breath.

  Their lungs are filled with nicotine & tar,

  Making their lungs heave & then they see stars.

  In the night they take sedatives & sleeping pills.

  In the morning they can’t pay their bills.

  Only their conscious can save their lives

  And not rehabs, friends, husbands or wives.

  (81)

  I smothered my dreams in a fortnight

  And now I live with fears I can’t fight.

  I’ve lost my sense of wrong & right

  And now I’m lost in blacks and whites.

  I let my soul drift away with a blinding light

  And now I fly aimlessly like a kite.

  But I live in a curse so tight,

  It can only be lifted by your love’s sight.

  (82)

  There were days when I flew over deserts & valleys,

  Sat on mountaintops & looked below on the small beauties.

  Swam in open lakes & streams,

  Sipped from the fountain of nature’s memories & dreams,

  Watched the sun rise & set behind curtains of the skies,

  Slept under a blanket where only stars & moon lies,

  But now I’m caged & yearn for my freedom

  For the dark con of
man severed my wings & destroyed my kingdom.

  (83)

  He was a writer of stories that chilled to the bone,

  The great & ever living, Edgar Allan Poe.

  Through his words he explored the deep human mind

  And revealed as much of its secrets as he could find.

  He created gothic genre in literature for the first time

  And introduced new phases in fictional thriller & crime.

  Yet no one could solve his mystery, no matter how much they tried

  Because up to this day, no one knows how he died.

  (84)

  When everything feels silly & wrong,

  I zone out while listening to a favourite song.

  When seconds drip into an eternity,

  I plunge into fiction & forget about reality.

  When no words can explain my state of mind,

  I hunt for what everyone thinks is impossible to find.

  When the world closes in around me,

  I think of floating on clouds & everything else I can be.

  When the sky looks black & blue,

  I wonder about all the legends that might be true.

  And when Living is the last thing I want to do,

  I close the book & think of you.

  (85)

  A bird comes to sit on my window-pane

  Ans tells me that today it’s going to rain.

  I continue listening to a song until it stops

  And sit near the window to watch the splatter of raindrops.

  Just then, I receive a message that someone close to me has died

  And that was the last time that I cried.

  (86)

  I regret the love I nourished

  For it’s the reason I was from sympathy banished.

  I try to forget the choices I made in the past

  For they threw me in a deserted land too vast.

  I like to sit & think in darkness

  For the light shows faults in my conscious.

  And for this world I don’t worry or care

  For nothing it does seems fare.

  (87)

  We conquer Fate so we can learn to let go.

  The river of Time drowns us so it can make us flow.

  Things get lost just to be remembered & found.

  Oceans go silent to make us listen to Nature’s sound.

  A raging storm of Hate destroys every thought and action

  So Love could control minds & hearts with exaction.

  And likewise, each life must end

  So the other could begin.

  (88)

  He was shown no affection as a child

  For his mother died and his father was cruel and wild.

  Violin, cello, piano and everything in between

  Was what he excelled at only at the age of fifteen.

  Somewhere in his life that only music enclosed,

  He lost his hearing and couldn’t hear what he composed.

  When he performed a symphony most appalling,

  He was turned around to see the audience applauding.

  He was deaf to his music yet his soul was never sunken.

  Such was the genius of Ludwig Van Beethoven.

  (89)

  No matter what I do or say,

  You’ll never understand the pain in which I lay.

  I try my best to win you heart

  But all you do is smear my blood on a piece of chart.

  I look for broken ties to bind

  But your cruelty is all I find.

  So when I leave this place where I’d have liked to be,

  Please don’t bother to find me!

  (90)

  A perfect start to make empires of dreams

  Where everything is quiet and serene.

  A perfect plan to run & escape

  Without leaving a sound or shape.

  A perfect line to win back the love once lost

  Which would beautify before hate could extort.

  But before any of this is put into action,

  Out of the blue, Life happens.

  (91)

  I am alive yet no one cares

  So it feels like I’m not even there.

  Sometimes I see someone smiling at me in the winter frost

  But realize it’s a shadow of the love I once lost.

  I do my best to say all I can’t be

  But everyone criticizes and misunderstands me.

  Yet when I’m gone, my words will echo outside these four walls

  And I know, somewhere a tear will fall.

  (92)

  I write these lines for an immortal, Leonardo da Vinci

  Who was a scientist, engineer, artist & master of botany.

  His mind was a machine churning out ideas & thoughts

  To make paintings & inventions everyone sought.

  He made sketches of philosophical symbols & human anatomy

  For which he was accused of witchcraft & heresy.

  Now no one reads his books sitting at libraries in a pile

  Yet he still reads minds of those who stare at Amon L’isa & her smile.

  (93)

  In this world so large & broad,

  Everyone worships a different god.

  Some bow to the sun & stars,

  Others to idols they themselves from stone & wood carve.

  Some think fire is a strong deity,

  Others to mother earth offer their fealty.

  Some worship their own wishes & desires

  Like slaves serving their masters.

  But in the end only one god will remain

  Who sits in heavens & showers blessings upon us like rain.

  (94)

  I boil with rage when I look into your eyes

  And find them filled with your lies.

  I break from the pain you put me through

  After all the good times we spent for a day or two.

  I hide from swords of your words rushing towards me

  While you plot other ways to bend and break me.

  And when I die from that which I can’t save,

  Don’t come to visit me or put flowers on my grave.

  (95)

  People hide their faces behind masks

  And pretend everything Is fine when someone asks.

  They put on fake smiles & go to parties

  And seem to enjoy the glamour and beauties.

  Lies & doubts echo in their laughter

  As they listen to stories of fame & its master.

  In their lens-colored eyes a flame of jealousy is reflected

  As they gaze at money & large houses their enemies had erected.

  But some day their masks will fall away

  And then they won’t know what to do or say.

  (96)

  They look for answers in science & religion

  When they can’t even free their conscious from its dark dungeon.

  They try to study & change the future

  When they can’t even agree with simple laws of nature.

  They invent a cure for each & every disease

  When they can’t stop polluting with smoke, chemicals & grease.

  And they wish to create a better world for their later generations

  When they continue throwing bombs on every country & nation.

  (97)

  They say I’m selfish & full of lies

  But they cant see the pain I hide in my eyes.

  They say I’m rude & don’t care

  But they cant see the heartache I have to bear.

  They say I’m cruel & unkind

  But they cant see the demons I fight in my mind.

  They say I’m cold & heartless

  But they can’t feel the depression I repress.

  They say I’m lost & confused

  But they don’t know my emotions have been abused.

  And thought they say I live in a world of my own,

  They don’t know how in silence, I cry and moan.


  (98)

  I had Hope but you crushed it with your cruelty.

  I was innocent but you made me guilty.

  I loved once but you killed it with false promises.

  I had dreams but you robbed me of their bliss.

  I possessed goodness with which my soul was lighted

  But you brought out my evil side and I hate you for it.

  (99)

  When demons of Anger in my head rejoice,

  That’s when I hear your calm voice.

  When stinging tears fill my eyes,

  That’s when I see you watching me from the skies.

  When words hit me like piercing knives,

  That’s when your help arrives.

  When I fall in the depths of loneliness,

  That’s when I remember your music so melodious.

  And when I loose the appetite to live,

  That’s when I feel the love only you can give.

  (100)

  I was fallen under the weight of my sins

  When Angel of Mercy gave me wings.

  I was tied in the rope of my past

  When the River of Time engulfed me fast.

  I was loosing the battle between my heart & mind

  When the Voice of Conscious told me what to find.

  And I was searching for life in a wilderness

  When Angel of Death came for my deliverance.