“I couldn’t let you give up your dreams for me.”
“I didn’t ask you to. It would have been my choice.”
“Besides, I knew if you went into the FBI, you wouldn’t have had time for a family,” she continued. “You’d be married to your career. It’s to be expected.”
“That’s an assumption. Not everyone is a workaholic like your father.”
She drew in a deep breath and stood, her eyes welling with tears. “But that’s all water under the bridge now, isn’t it? We can’t change the past.”
“Macy—”
She took a step away, trails of moisture running down her cheeks. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go lie down now. I’m exhausted.”
Before Tanner could convince her to stay and finish this conversation, she fled to her bedroom and closed the door.
He sat on the couch, stunned for a moment. How could Pruett have told Macy that Tanner was relieved they’d lost the baby? Then Tanner knew.
Pruett had always seemed overly interested in Macy. He’d used the situation to his advantage, probably hoping they would break up and that he could make a move. He most likely hadn’t counted on Macy moving to Oklahoma and ruining his chances.
Tanner took his hat off and raked a hand through his hair. He and Macy had an undeniable connection back then. How could she have doubted how much he loved her? It wasn’t just about their baby. It was about their future together.
Tanner knew that Macy’s dad had been married to his work. He’d appeared resentful that he’d had to take care of his younger daughter after her mom died. Of course Macy might have transferred those feelings onto Tanner and think every man was like that.
Tanner had grown up in a home with a mom and dad who loved each other even after thirty years of marriage. They’d been a great example to him of what that kind of union should look like. Maybe that was why he’d remained hopeful while Macy was a skeptic. Their pasts had shaped their view of the future, for better or worse.
Tanner ran a hand over his face, wishing he could turn back time. But the damage had already been done, and it very well could be irreparable.
* * *
Macy was still reeling from her conversation with Tanner when she woke up the next morning. She didn’t even bother to get out of bed. No, she simply pulled herself up and readjusted her pillows behind her. Then she closed her eyes, wishing she could transport herself from this situation.
On the one hand, it had been such a relief to finally have that talk. On the other, Tanner had made it seem like what Pruett had told her all those years ago wasn’t true, that the man had planted doubt in her head for some reason or another.
Macy clearly remembered that exchange with the fresh-faced cop. She’d been walking to her car after class, still trying to come to terms with losing the baby. Pruett had run into her and struck up a conversation.
The man had always been arrogant, with a touch of mischief in his eyes.
“Tanner told me the news,” Pruett had said, falling in step beside her.
“Did he?” Macy blinked with surprise. She hadn’t realized the two were that close that Tanner would tell him such intimate details about their relationship. He hadn’t exactly hung around Tanner, but they’d been in boot camp together.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about the baby.”
She’d paused there in the parking lot beside her car, feeling self-conscious. Getting pregnant had never been a part of her plan. Even though she and Tanner hadn’t turned to God yet, she’d wanted to be married first. But losing the baby... Macy definitely hadn’t been prepared for that.
“Thanks...we’re dealing with it.” Her hand had instinctively reached for her stomach.
“Yeah, that’s what Tanner said. That it might be a blessing in disguise.”
Pruett’s words made her pause. “Did he say that?”
“Something like that,” Pruett said. “Well, as I’m sure he told you, he just got accepted into the FBI Academy. He turned it down, though. Said you needed him.”
The colored had drained from Macy’s face at his announcement. “He did? Tanner didn’t tell me.”
Pruett shrugged it off. “He probably doesn’t want to make you feel bad. Sorry to be the one to break the news to you.”
A horrible, sickly feeling had washed over Macy. The fact that Tanner hadn’t told her said a lot. “I see.”
Pruett frowned as if apologetic, even though the emotion didn’t quite reach his green eyes. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, I’m glad you did. I don’t want Tanner to miss out on something because of me.”
“I know it would be easy for resentment to build up,” Pruett said.
Resentment? Yes. Macy couldn’t go into a marriage knowing she’d stopped Tanner from reaching his dreams. “Yes, you’re totally right.”
Back in the present, Macy pushed away the thoughts, having no desire to relive that time in her life. Against her desires and maybe even her good sense, she felt conflicted about the past, about the future, and about everything in between.
Macy closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure how to react to Tanner when she saw him again this morning. Because now, after finally talking to him, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d made a mistake five years ago. Her head pounded at the thought.
When Addie woke up a few minutes later, Macy knew she couldn’t hide out any longer. She needed to use the kitchen to prepare a bottle for a hungry Addie.
She quickly got dressed before gathering the baby into her arms and emerging from her bedroom. She tried to slip into the kitchen unnoticed when she heard someone call out behind her.
“Morning,” Tanner said.
She gasped, not expecting to see him sitting on the couch with a newspaper in his hands. “Morning.”
“Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I was just...” She decided it was better not to deny it. “Yeah, actually, you did scare me.”
“My apologies.” He folded his paper, stood, and held something out to her. “I thought you might need this.”
She stared at the baby bottle in his hands. “You fixed Addie something to eat?”
“I heard her wake up and I know how she gets when she’s hungry. I figured the less time she had to wait, the better.”
“Smart thinking. Thank you.” She took the bottle, hating how nervous she suddenly felt. She sat on the end of the couch and offered the bottle to Addie. The baby hungrily devoured her breakfast.
She smiled as she looked down at Addie’s face. The baby girl was just perfect, Macy realized, from her curly dark hair to her infectious grin. At the end of this, Macy just might have her heart broken again when Addie moved on. She didn’t even want to think about it.
Tanner sat at the other end of the couch, looking surprisingly at ease. “How’d you sleep?”
“As to be expected,” she said. “I just keep having nightmares about this entire situation.”
“I understand. I’m sorry you were pulled into it.”
“Stop apologizing. It’s not your fault.”
“I know. But I still wish you didn’t have to go through this. I realize how unnerving it can be.”
“Certainly you’re not unnerved?”
He shrugged. “Every once in a while, even I feel unsettled.”
“Well, at least that makes you human. In case there were any doubts.” She said the words lightheartedly, but he’d always seemed a bit like a superhero to her, like he could handle anything.
Even their breakup. She’d known Tanner would be just fine. He had an inner strength that was admirable. That inner strength was even more noticeable now that he was a Christian because the power wasn’t coming from himself. No, it was coming from his faith in a Higher Power. “Devin got back to me this morning about those women we looked into who could be A
ddie’s mom.” Tanner shifted the subject and looked notably more serious with his darkened gaze.
Macy felt herself stiffen with anticipation. “Okay. And?”
“The woman who was killed in the car accident has been identified. Her name was...Sarah Lewis.” He pulled something up on his phone. “This is her picture. Ever seen her before?”
Macy stared at the picture. It only took her a moment to recognize the woman there. She pulled in a deep breath, and her eyes widened as realization hit her.
“Yes, actually, I do know her,” Macy said. “I know exactly who Sarah Lewis is.”
Fifteen
Tanner watched as Macy swung her head back and forth in disbelief. She continued to feed Addie, but she appeared slightly shell-shocked as she did so. She recognized the woman in the photograph. Could she be Addie’s mom? Maybe they finally had a viable lead.
“Tell me what you know about Sarah Lewis,” he said, angling himself toward her.
Macy licked her lips and looked in the distance as if gathering her thoughts. “She was one of my clients in Oklahoma.”
Tanner jammed his eyebrows together in confusion. “I thought you only worked with kids.”
She shifted Addie to her other arm. “I did. Mostly. But I volunteered one night a week doing therapy for parolees.”
Tanner blanched at her unexpected announcement. “Did you? I had no idea.”
Macy nodded. “I only did it for a year or so, and then I had to step back because my hours at work changed. Sarah was one of my clients. She had to have therapy as a part of her release from prison.”
“What was she locked up for?”
“Drug use. She was only behind bars for about eight months, if I remember correctly.”
“When did you meet with her? How long ago?”
Macy closed her eyes briefly, as if trying to recall the information. “It was probably a year and a half ago.”
Tanner nodded slowly, letting that information sink in. “What else can you tell me about her?”
Macy leaned back, seeming to relax slightly. “She was honestly a sweet girl. She grew up with a single mom. I’m not sure what happened to her dad. But Sarah had had a pretty hard life. Money was tight, and she learned to be street-smart. That’s when she turned to drugs and got in with the wrong crowd.”
Tanner stored all the information away, thrilled to finally make some headway. It had been a long time coming. “Was she dating anyone?”
Macy nodded after another moment of thought. She looked down at Addie in her arms, still feeding, and frowned. “She was. He wasn’t good for her, and I encouraged her to rethink that relationship instead of reconnecting now that she was out of prison.”
“Do you remember his name?”
“I think it was Ricky, but I’m not sure,” Macy said. “He’d also been in trouble with the law. Like I said, he wasn’t a good influence. But Sarah was insecure and felt all alone in the world. It wouldn’t surprise me if she went running back to him.”
“Anything else?”
She rocked Addie in her arms as the infant came to the end of her bottle. “At her very last session, she said her future was about to change. She didn’t expound on it, even when I asked. But I do remember that she’d been looking into who her birth father was.”
“We’ll look into it.”
She paused. “Tanner, do you think she really died in a hit-and-run?”
He bit down a response. He wasn’t ready to admit it, but no, he didn’t.
* * *
In between taking care of Addie, Macy found herself doing what she often did lately: pacing to the windows, looking for any signs of trouble. She hated to think the worst, but whoever these guys were, they’d been a step ahead of the FBI this whole time. She felt like it was only a matter of time before the bad guys located them again.
Even though Tanner had taken precautions, Macy had trouble believing they couldn’t be found. Maybe it was paranoia. Maybe it was conditioning. But whatever it was, it had her on edge, just waiting for the next shoe to drop.
As Tanner worked on the computer in the distance, Macy paused by one of the back windows. She thought about what her life should look like right now. On an ordinary day, she would be offering therapy to her clients. In the evening, she would have probably had dinner with some friends from Third Day, and they would have enjoyed some laughs. She would have returned to her house later in the night, had some tea, and gone to bed. It was a simple and predictable life, but also familiar and comforting.
Instead, she was working with her ex-fiancé, taking care of a possibly orphaned baby, on the run, and hiding out. It was like she’d been plopped in the middle of either an action/adventure movie or a nightmare.
Macy closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against the cool window. Dear Lord, how are we going to get through this?
And then she knew the answer. Through the grace of God. His strength was the only thing that had gotten her through the tough moments of her life. Losing the baby. Realizing that she and Tanner couldn’t be together. Leaving everything she knew behind and going to Oklahoma for the doctoral program there. She hadn’t been a believer back then, but she’d turned to Jesus in her desperation, and her life hadn’t been the same since then.
Then she’d had the crazy idea to come back here to Houston. To try and reconnect with her father and sister. To face what she’d left behind.
She’d just never thought her journey back home would include Tanner. He was supposed to be married to someone else by now. Out of the picture and out of the question.
Instead, he was just as attractive and kind as he’d always been. And he had that familiar swagger with his boots and cowboy hat. He was her dream guy then and now, and she had no idea what to do about it.
Tanner hung up and called her over to the breakfast bar.
“I can’t find any record as to who Sarah’s biological father was,” he started. “I’ve been trying to track down any of her acquaintances in Oklahoma. You haven’t remembered anything new, have you?”
Macy closed her eyes and tried to recall her sessions with Sarah. She had so many clients that it was hard to keep straight who said what. But...there was one thing that lingered in the back of her mind. It probably wouldn’t be much help, but...
“Sarah did mention a friend she’d stayed with when she was going through a hard time. Her name was kind of unique...”
Tanner leaned toward her. “Can you remember it?”
She pressed her eyes together, trying to recall the friend’s name. “It reminded me of a fruit. I keep imagining someone dancing with a bowl of oranges on her head.” She squeezed the skin between her eyes. “I know it! Clementine. I have no idea about the last name, though. Sarah may have never said it, for that matter.”
“That’s okay. That’s helpful. We can tell Devin and see what he can find.”
She crossed her arms and leaned back, hoping the lead would pan out. But she still had other questions. “What about that couple who came in? How do they fit? And who’s Michelle Nixon?”
“We’re still trying to figure that out.”
“You mean the FBI is still trying to figure that out.”
Tanner frowned. “That’s correct. The FBI and Devin. I asked him to look into things also. I know I can trust him.”
“How is the FBI handling all this?” Macy asked softly. “You’re supposed to be their foot soldier, yet you’re striking out on your own. I’m sure that doesn’t bode well. Does it?”
Tanner frowned. “We don’t have much of a choice right now but to do things my way, not if we want to keep Addie safe. My job is the least of my worries at the moment. I’ll figure that all out when this is over.”
The least of his worries? That certainly didn’t sound like someone who was married to his career. Could Macy have been wrong all this time?<
br />
Before she had the opportunity to think about it, someone knocked at the door.
Tanner rushed to his feet and drew his gun.
“Stay here,” he barked.
And Macy knew she had no choice but to listen.
* * *
Tanner approached the door slowly and carefully. No one knew they were here. No one but Devin.
Had the bad guys somehow managed to find them again?
Someone pounded at the door again, more urgently this time. “Tanner, it’s me. Devin.”
Tanner peered out the peephole to confirm it was his friend before opening the door.
“No one followed me.” Devin rushed past. “I’m sure.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I didn’t have your phone number, and I learned something you’ll want to hear.”
“Then, by all means, have a seat and let’s talk.” He holstered his gun, trying to relax. But something about the urgency in his friend’s voice didn’t allow him to do that.
Devin sat on the couch and Tanner perched in a chair across from him. Macy joined them, anticipation written across her taut features.
Devin rubbed his hands together, his gaze shifting from Macy to Tanner. “We managed to track down Michelle Nixon. I just left from interviewing her.”
“What?” Macy’s eyes widened as big as the moon. “What did she say? Does she know anything about Addie?”
Devin raised his hand, clearly indicating that Macy needed to slow down. “I’m getting to that. Let me start at the beginning. We tracked Michelle down because of a credit card transaction.”
Tanner nodded, listening carefully. Certainly the FBI had discovered this as well. “Is that unusual?”
“She hadn’t used it in several days. But, apparently, she ran out of cash. Cash that a woman named Deborah had given her to use, but only if Michelle got out of town.”
Tanner leaned forward. “Is this the same Deborah who came into the FBI office?”
The Baby Assignment Page 12
