by Mj Fields
I love watching her move, but not like this, and not for that bitch. That bitch who is going to walk off stage and be bombarded with Forever Four’s lawyers and have major fucking issues if she doesn’t back the fuck down.
Finn took off with River, and that’s not cool at all. He’s a fucking mess and doesn’t touch even a prescribed drug. When he asked River to take a walk with him, I felt sick, but I’m so fucked up right now I can’t do shit except stand and stare where she can’t see me because Mads is cock-blocking like a motherfucker.
When Stevie Danielles’ band ends, I look out at the crowd. They fucking love them and it makes me sick. I wish they were throwing tomatoes or booing that bitch.
“Memphis, go; she’ll see you.” Mads pushes me. “Go!”
I walk down the hall and find the room meant for us to chill, relax, and fucking celebrate all we’ve accomplished, and I haven’t even stepped foot inside it until now.
I open the door, seeing Finn and River sitting there, all fucking pie-eyed.
“You’re kidding me, right?”
River sighs. “Just took the edge off.”
“Where is it?” I ask.
Billy walks out of the bathroom, chillz in hand.
“No shit?”
Billy grins. “Just to take the edge off.”
“Aw, fuck, man, give me that.” I snatch up chillz and hit the bathroom. I spark him up, take two pulls, and that’s enough. It feels good, too.
When I walk out, the three of them are looking at me.
“It’s either the beginning or the end. We started this together; we end it together. Let’s fucking go rock them our way.”
“We do it for us,” Finn says as we stand in a circle.
“In the words of the great Eddie Vedder, ‘It’s a great time to be me.’ ” I throw my fist in.
“Jimmy Page once said, ‘I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what we’re doing.’ ” Finn puts his fist in.
“Kurt Cobain, “Nobody dies a virgin; life fucks us all.’ ” River fists in.
“The amazing Billy Holiday once said, ‘The difficult, I will do right now. The impossible will take a while.’ ”
“We have done the impossible. Fuck, Billy learned guitar, River has laid off the heavy shit, and Finn … not sure what to say? Best bass around, and apparently he decided today was the day to put an end to the ‘Just Say No,’ campaign, which I need the story behind, fuck-stick.”
He nods and grumbles.
“And you’ve got a steel dick.” River laughs his fool head off.
“Shit bird.” I laugh, too, because it’s funny, and I’m fucking soarin’. “All right, STD, let’s hit ’em hard”—we bump fists—“light ‘em up”—we do our own little version of an explosion with our hands—“and let’s go fucking rock ‘em our way!”
We walk out into the hallway where the entire Steel crew is, including Momma Joe, and we’re all fucked up.
Shit.
Xavier narrows his eyes at us. “You fucking kidding me right now?”
“Ready to rock, man.” I chuckle and grin.
I look at the guys. Finn’s lip is curled, and his eyes are fixed on the chick Sonya while she scowls at him. I hear him growl, and then he fucking snaps his teeth and barks at her. I shit you not. He fucking barked!
I start rolling.
“She get her fucking shots yet?” Finn asks X-man.
“You, too?” he gasps then throws his hands up in the air and walks away, calling out, “What a fucking day!”
I see Mads and Tally round the corner. Tally is looking at the ground, and Mads is basically pulling her toward me. She has her head hung down as well she should. She should know better.
“Kiss and make up,” Mads demands then walks away.
“Tales.”
“Memphis.”
“What, I’m not asshole anymore?”
“Sometimes.”
“But right now?” I tip her chin up with my finger.
“No.” She looks up, and I get Emerald City. Fucking beautiful. “Are you high?” And angry.
“Been a fucked up day, Tales. I needed to take the edge off.”
“Great. Well, good luck, break a leg, keep your dick in your pants, and—”
I grab her and pick her up, bringing her eye to eye, and she whimpers.
“You sure about that last part?”
She smiles like I knew she would.
“I mean, how am I gonna get dome when I’m done if they stay on?”
She fists my hair and pushes her forehead against mine. “I hate her.”
“Don’t blame you, Tales. I’m not a fan, either.” I inhale. “You smell good. How do you taste, Tales? Give me them lips.”
She does, and she gives them to me hard.
I pull back when I hear the crowd start chanting, “STD! STD! STD!”
“I watched you dance, Tales, the whole time. Inside, I was praying you fucking believed me ’cause, if you didn’t, I would be gone.” I set her down and step back. “Don’t you ever doubt me again. That shit hurt.” Her lip quivers, and she nods. “I love you, Tales. That doesn’t just mean something; it means everything.”
“I love you so much.” She chokes back a sob.
“I know you do.” I give her a quick kiss on the cheek then turn to walk away. I don’t want to go onstage with bitch pants on.
I step up to the rest of the band, and the four of us look at each other.
“Nickie D, X-man, and Taelyn are standing to the left like the proud parents who just gave birth to the most well-hung kid in the nursery, just like my parents must have thought.” I laugh.
“Shit, we have something in common, then.” River gives me a fist bump.
The crowd gets louder as I look at my boys. “Who’s first?”
“Let’s do it together.” Billy nods, fucking with his strings.
I look back and see Mom, Mads, and Tales hanging to the right, all smiling. Tales is the brightest. Mom? Didn’t even know she was coming.
She mouths, ‘I love you.’
I yell, “You better.”
She laughs as she wipes a tear away. I’m pretty sure it’s a happy one.
“Let’s rock!”
We run out on stage, and I make a mental note to work on that entry. We look like a bunch of teenage, eager boys who are gonna blow their load way before it’s time.
“Hello, New Jersey!” I hold the mic out for the crowd’s roar, and they give me more than I am looking for. My head is buzzing, and so is my soul.
“I’m Memphis Black, lead singer for Steel Total Destruction!”
I let them scream. Fuck, I egg them on.
“The buzz I catch off of that is bigger than the one we caught backstage!” I laugh.
They fucking go crazy, and I am all energy.
“It’s like a spiritual erection, a transcendent orgy to my soul, a divine intervention with every cell in my body. You’re getting me hard.” I grab my dick then look off stage at Tales and wink. She covers her mouth, laughing.
“You ready for some STD? You ready to get rocked so hard you can’t walk straight for a week?”
They scream. They shout. They lust for our music … and for us.
“I like the way you sound!”
“Get ready, ladies. Get ready for it, men!” I bounce up and down on my feet because I am that fucking pumped. “Give it to them, Finn!”
The fucking condom cannons jizz all over the crowd. They scramble around, screaming and grabbing the fucking condoms like little crack whores—our little crack whores.
River spanks the drums, the crack and pop of the snare proceeding. Finn finger bangs his G and L tribute. Billy is on his new Fender; and I begin to sing our first hit song, “Going Down.”
The crowd screams. The girls in the front row dance, trying to gain our attention. They have it. For the next two and a half hours, they will get more than they paid for.
The song ends, and I look around at the guys and laugh. All of us are per
ma-grinning. I’m not sure if it’s the high or the high. Maybe both.
“You wanna little story?”
The crowd screams.
“Not even two years ago, we sat in this kick-ass studio, looking around and thinking the owner was just a punk ass kid who wanted to play the role of big time music producer with family money.” I look at the guys, who laugh and nod. “I still think he’s a punk sometimes, but he’s got mad respect from me.”
I lift my shirt and turn around. “Forever Steel, bro.”
I look over where Taelyn is beaming, and X is trying his best to act unaffected, but I see it. I see the love.
“Well, he and the real reason we stuck around—his hot ass wife” —I glance back at X-man, who flips me off—“sat us down, and he told me why this was important to him. He said, ‘I want to find the damn kid who was picked on because he wasn’t cool enough to hang, the one who, instead of banging the cheer captain, went home and finger-fucked his guitar or banged his drums like he wanted to bang the football captain’s girl. I want the kid who went to bed every goddamn night with headphones on, listening to his favorite songs to escape the reality of an abusive or absent father. I want the girl who wasn’t good enough to hang with the “it” crowd and dove into the piano, letting her fingers tickle the ivory while she created perfection because she was fucking good enough. I want the guy dressed in all black to have his voice and the notes he belts out be his ultimate orgasm. I want the people who were told they couldn’t be shit to live and breathe something other than a twisted up blunt. I want their high to be the notes, the melodies, the beats, the songs that live inside them. I want them to be who they are and be seen, not what the stuffy ass production company suit told them to be. I want to be the one to help them find who they are without walking on to a stage where some British fuck tells them they’re not marketable’.” I pause, and the crowd roars. “He found us. He stuck by us, and we hope to make him proud.”
I look up and shake my head. “Now enough of the head trip. Get ready for the night of your life. Are you ready to rock?”
They scream.
Pandemonium.
“I said, are you ready to rock?”
Chaos.
“Are you fucking ready to get rocked!”
Mayhem.
Two hours of rock and roll, two hours of nonstop fucking jamming, two of the best hours of my life!
“Look beside you, ladies. Is he what you want? Eyes back here, babe. If he’s not, do yourselves a favor and find the one you were meant to be with.”
I look off stage and find Emerald City.
“Here’s a song for all you lovers out there. “Surface to Soul”.”
Awaken beast, you took my all.
Taboo desires, burn out of control.
Intoxicated youth, a troubled teen.
Still both inside, eternal flames.
Surface to soul.
But I’m chasing the light,
Chasing my goal,
Chasing the girl who owns my soul.
Chasing the night,
Chasing the score,
Chasing the need to rock this floor.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo
Chasing my dream.
You chase the same.
We’re chasing away the fucking game.
Chasing the right.
Chasing the wrong.
Chasing the words to write your song.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo.
Down on my knees, I beg you now.
I can’t let go, Tales. I don’t know how.
A tender heart, a taken toll.
What was surface took my soul.
Surface to soul.
But I’m chasing the light.
Chasing my goal.
Chasing the girl who owns my soul.
Chasing the night,
Chasing the score,
Chasing the need to rock this floor.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo.
Chasing my dream.
You chase the same.
We’re chasing away the fucking game.
Chasing the right,
Chasing the wrong,
Chasing the words to write your song.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo.
But I’m chasing the light,
Chasing my goal,
Chasing the girl who owns my soul.
Chasing the night,
Chasing the score,
Chasing the need to rock this floor.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo
Chasing my dream.
You chase the same.
We’re chasing away the fucking game.
Chasing the right,
Chasing the wrong,
Chasing the words to write your song.
I’m missing you. Oo-oo-oo.
Back stage, I shower and then stand in an empty dressing room. I told the guys I would catch up with them later. I know they all picked out their treat for the night, and I have mine picked out, too.
The door opens, and Tally slides in.
“Tales …” I begin.
“Shh,” she says with her finger to her mouth as she walks toward me.
She grips the towel and pulls me toward her before kissing my chest then continuing on a downward path. She pulls the towel down, going to her knees, and grabs my dick with both hands, pumping while her tongue swipes across my head once, twice, three times. Then she tugs on the ring, and I groan.
“You need to stop teasing my cock, babe, and … fuck. Yeah, just like that. Fuck,” I hiss as I feel my head hit the back of her throat as she pumps my dick in her hands. She doesn’t stop, either. It’s relentless, almost punishing.
She then reaches up, takes my hand, places it on the back of her head, puts her hand over it, and pushes.
“Fuck, Tales. Oh, fuck.”
Her hand leaves mine to it, and the selfish fuck in me takes what she is giving. I fist her hair and pump into her, taking what she is giving, fucking her mouth. I get lost in it—the pleasure the indulgence, the hedonism—until I feel her tense, and I look down.
Holy fuck, Tales.” I pull her up.
“No, don’t. I want you so badly.”
“Then you’ll have me, sweet cheeks.” I push those little, silky shorts to the side and feel the heat and how drenched she is through the material. I bend enough to line myself up and nearly come from the sound she makes. “You need my cock that badly, Tales?”
“Please,” she begs.
I push in just a little, grabbing her ass.
“Wrap ’em round.”
She immediately wraps her legs around my waist. Then I lean back against the wall and pump slowly in and out, giving her a little at a time. Her pussy contracts, and I know she’s already gone.
I turn us around so her back hits the wall, and then I push in without restraint again and again and again as she cries out my name over and over and over.
Later, we walk out of Bader, hand in hand. She is so happy, and I don’t know how after the hell Stevie put her through today. And God only knows how long it’s been going on, crazy-ass bitch.
“Can’t go back, Tales.” I open the door for her. “I won’t let you.”
She nods, and I hide the excitement from her agreeing.
“You’ll tour with the band, work for Forever Four.”
She sighs as she looks at me. I get another nod.
“And you are I are moving in together.” I swear my fingers are crossed behind my back.
She looks down as I shut the door. She will. I know she will. She loves me, and I love her.
Forever Steel.
Tales insists I speak to my father and I argue I have nothing to say.
“You have plenty to say,” She smiles up at me with those big sad green eyes, that cat, the one from…Shrek-Puss
in Boots. He had younger Tales all ‘aw,’ all the time. Adorable. “Please, just tell him you forgive him.”
“I don’t fucking forgive him.”
“Then tell him that Memphis, just tell him something.”
When she gets off the tour bus leaving me alone, I do.
I get his voicemail, and I tell him, “You fucked up a good thing. You cheated on not only Mom, but Mads and I, too. You also fucked up bad as a man, Dad. You were banging a man who died, leaving his wife and daughter with nothing, and you what? Looked the other way?
“If someone had asked me who taught me how wrong that was a year ago, I would have proudly said, ‘My old man,’ but hell, we both know that shit’s not the truth. Mom taught me that.
“I’m not asking for shit from you, and but Tale’s mom, she doesn’t need to know a damn thing but if you ever feel the need to buy me a fucking car again, do me a favor, give Mrs. Priest the cash. She deserves that, she and my mother are good women. You DAD,” I emphasis Dad, “Deserve shit.”
“I will tell you I love you man, but liking you is a whole different story.”
***
“This is crazy,” Tally says, looking around the beach house.
“Really not crazy, Tales. The Miami house was crazy. This is just—”
“Insane?” She laughs and then squeals as she dances around the stark white kitchen with black marble counters and stainless steel appliances.
“God, you’re beautiful.” I’m getting hard.
“I should be so pissed at you.” She tries to look angry, but then grins as she runs up and jumps on me, wrapping her legs around me and kissing my face over and over again. “We were just looking.”
“And you had a notebook of drawings that showed how it would be perfect. I just took that as a sign.”
“I love you.”
Painfully hard.
“See? I told you you’d love moving in with me, pain in the ass.” I laugh as she continue kissing me.
“We’ve been together nonstop since Bader, and it’s October,” she says, running her fingers through my hair.
“We have three weeks until the craziness starts again.”
“But then a break at Christmas.” She smiles, her legs tightening around me as she raises her hands in the air. “Thank you, God, for this crazy life.”
