by Ben Bequer
“What happens if you break the thing, Dale? Is he gone forever?”
I nodded, studying the device a moment.
“No, Blackjack,” Haha pleaded. “I see now. I understand. You can’t,” I shut off his audio, leaving him to beg in solace.
I put my thumb on the screen; firing up the Linux-based OS we had designed and took a moment to gauge the people around me.
Mirage was done with his ministrations, at least for now, and stood to my left, breathing heavily. He gave me a curious look, as if he understood the dilemma I was facing. Next to him stood Epic, who had a funny little smile on his face. Superdynamic was expecting me to shut off the device, or crunch it in my hands and the anticipation was eating at him. Moe's face streamed tears, happy to see me alive. Bubu knew what I was about to do, and didn’t seem to like it, and beside him was Apogee, who was just now getting an inkling of what I intended.
“No,” she said, but I fired up the wireless and connected to the Internet.
And set Haha free.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“No, goddammit, No,” Apogee roared. Only she had the benefit of being close enough to the screen to see what I had done. I had connected the device to the Internet, giving Haha a window of escape. His databases were wiped, but they were just raw information and could easily be replaced. His main core systems were free, and I had let them go.
“What?” Superdynamic didn’t know what was happening, but from Apogee’s expressions it didn’t take a genius to realize I had done something wrong. “What happened?”
“Fuck, goddammit,” Apogee went on, stalking away.
“What did you do?” Superdynamic said.
“I let him go,” I said, and his face cracked, his lips quivering.
“Are you stupid?”
I don’t know why, but I turned to Epic at that moment and saw him nodding with approval as he also turned away. To my surprise, he seemed to understand.
“We don’t have time for this, boys,” Ruby said appearing at my side and taking control of the chair. She maneuvered it away from the group and the last thing I heard was Bubu, explaining to the others: “It’s like a metaphor for him and what he’s been through,” followed by Apogee roaring, “That’s a bunch of emotional faggoty fucking bullshit!”
“You sure know how to drive that woman’s emotions,” Ruby said leaning into me. “If you live through this,” she gestured to my wounds. “She just might kill you anyway.”
Superdynamic appeared next to me, overseeing Ruby, but saying nothing as we headed toward his ship.
“Best if you keep your mouth shut, if you know what I mean,” Ruby snapped. “You’ve burned your lungs, your face…hell, every part of you – inside and out – was on fire, sweetie. Let’s try to keep that in mind.”
I smiled at her, “Think this is going to keep me down?”
Ruby was about to crack wise when Superdynamic finally shot in, “I don’t get it.”
He couldn’t understand what it was like to be Haha, to be me. Superdynamic, and most of the other heroes I met, operated from a place of ignorance. They were unaware of how quickly the world could turn on you. They had no concept of life outside of society’s embrace, how cold and alone it could be when nobody understood your motivation. The kind of mistrust that sowed. Maybe one day I could explain it to him, but at that moment, I had no reserves.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I try to understand you and I fail miserably. Besides…Dale, I want you to know something,” he said, easing off his helmet. “About…what happened before.”
I proffered a shaky hand. He hesitated, but finally took a firm hold.
“You take care of my brother?”
“Yeah, I got your message. We moved him and his family to the tower for their safety.”
I wanted to hug the guy, but instead I squeezed his hand and said, “Then we’re okay.”
* * * *
They plugged me into the back of the Cicada, a place I was well familiar with. I died and was brought back to life back there, and the thought of that experience made my right fist tickle deep within the metatarsals. Superdynamic had totally reworked the rear of Cicada into a full-fledged medical lab, instead of the bare back corner it once was.
Beside me were a pair of healing pods, with Slamma occupying one. She was being kept in a medically induced coma, her injuries bandaged but the monitors showed strong vital signs. I breathed a sigh of relief. Bamma shot me a nasty glare standing beside her sister and cradling her injured arm in a solid-light cast. I gave her a little “fuck you” wink that made her nostrils flare and me giggle in delight.
Mirage took over for Ruby, and as he did his thing, I leaned back and looked over at Apogee. She was busy on one of the multi-screen consoles, typing away at eight or ten chat windows, and going through some online files – one of which was mine. I wanted her to look over at me but she was deep into her work. He was busy taking notes of my vital signs, adding them to my chart.
“So what is it with you?”
“Hmm,” he said, looking over.
“Why do you hate me so much? Not like I haven’t given you reason, I get that. But by now you should-“
Mirage raised a hand.
“I don’t feel like sharing,” he said, and continued with his notes.
“Don’t do that, okay,” I said, getting his reluctant attention. “You owe me an explanation for what you did in D.C.”
“I don’t,” he said. “Nor do I have one to give.”
“You were going to let me die, Chen,” I said, spitting his name at him like an accusation. “I threw myself at that dude to save you and your group. I probably saved your life, ever think of that?”
I rose from the bed as I spoke, infuriated, and immediately regretted it. I was attached to a dozen devices and they all went berserk. Apogee and Ruby came over and gently, but insistently sat me in the chair, reconnecting me to Cicada. Mirage stepped back, letting them work.
“Try to rest, Dale,” Apogee said, once I was back on the bed. She touched my cheek and walked back to her station. Mirage watched her sit and took his place, scribbling his notes in pencil.
“It’s about her, isn’t it?”
He looked over to me, as if I were a bother.
“You don’t approve,” I said. “Well, I know she’s got a past, and it includes a couple of villains if I’m not mistaken.”
Mirage smiled, “Matchstick and Steeltoe.”
“Yeah, I know all about that. What are you jealous or something? You want her for yourself?”
His smile widened and he almost chuckled. “You think that’s what I want? You’re not a very smart man, are you?”
“Now I’m stupid, huh?”
He leaned back, arms still crossed – unmoved by my unspoken threat. “Are you a thinking man?”
I sat up in the chair and decided to try a different tack. “Sometimes more than others, I guess.”
“Which of those times was it when you released the villain that you went to such trouble to catch?”
“I thought we were talking about Apogee,” I said. “Letting Haha go is something I’ll have to answer for.”
“And everything else?” he said, his tone almost playful.
“I suppose I’ll answer for that stuff too.”
He shrugged, “It’s inevitable, isn’t it?”
“You mean in some sort of Nietzsche Turkish Fatalistic sense,” I said, flexing a little schooling muscle since he was assuming I was an illiterate idiot. “I don’t think so, Chen.”
Mirage smiled, apparently knowing his German philosophers well. “Well, there is man,” he said putting one arm out to his side. “And there is fate,” placing his other arm out so the palms were at the farthest points from each other, “Always fighting against each other.”
“Even Nietzsche said that man wins in the end,” I said, apparently knowing my German philosophers better than he did. “You expect me to fold my hands weakly because I can’t ch
ange my fate? I’m sorry, but that’s not the way I’m going out.”
“I’m curious to see how you expect to avoid what has already been predetermined,” he said. “I refer of course to your many convictions.”
I looked over at Apogee and caught her checking us out. She was out of earshot, and I noticed that Mirage was making a point to speak in low, hushed tones.
“There are always going to be people like you, Chen,” I said, still gazing at her. “People who doubt me and see the easy solution as the only one, I understand that. But I’ve met a few people that are willing to see past what I’ve done, past my mistakes, and think I have a promising future. That’s why I care about Apogee, Chen.”
I turned back to him.
“But because of how she sees me.”
He nodded, cupping his face.
“I almost didn’t let go of Haha,” I said. “I almost crushed the handheld and ended him. If not, I was thinking of keeping him around in the little box – keeping him my prisoner.”
I leaned back, feeling tired and he instinctively moved in, checking my vital signs. He tweaked the painkillers they were giving me, and a moment later I felt the stuff drain into my body through the transdermal patch wrapped around my arm. A warm feeling spread through my body, relaxing all my muscles.
“I knew it would disappoint her,” I said. “Madelyne has more reason than most to hate Haha, I guess, and I can’t blame her if she never talks to me again. But I couldn’t do it, Chen. I couldn’t, and you want to know why? It’s not because of the duality of me and Haha and being imprisoned and…some other such bullshit. No, it’s because of how she sees me. I want to be that man, more than anything. And that man would be merciful to Haha, no matter what he did in the past.”
Mirage raised an eyebrow, “And you expect the rest of us to be so benevolent?”
“No, I guess not,” I said, closing my eyes. “You know everyone’s better off with me as an ally than as an enemy.”
He let the words linger unchallenged, but a moment later he said, “You want to know what I want?”
I nodded.
“You are a black stain, marring her radiance, and I want you gone from her life. I count the days until she comes to her senses.”
* * * *
I let him have the final word and slept the whole trip across the pond, waking only when they reset the chair into bed-mode and rolled me back to the room I had spent three months convalescing in after D.C. The ceiling was the same, the lights, the creases and the rivets. The only difference was my condition. I was back to my baseline as far as I could tell. My skin was no longer an angry red, and was bubbling and peeling in sheets that I would need a shower to scrub away.
Ruby bustled around the room, a holographic interface following her around as she worked. Through the haze of exhaustion and painkillers, something gnawed at me, the urge to get moving was undeniable. I raised sat up in the bed, and she spoke to me, the words a jumbled mess I couldn’t decipher. A keypad shimmered into being under her fingers, languid trails drifting from her hand and arm as she tapped at it. Dull warmth flooded my system, overwhelming drowsiness tugging at me.
“What day is it,” I said, but she was too busy. Instead, it was Apogee that leaned over.
“It’s Tuesday,” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder as if to settle me.
Ruby’s drugs were hitting me pretty hard, and it took every ounce of energy to fight the impending sleep that was washing over me like a tsunami.
“There’s something today,” I said. “Something important.”
She smiled, “Yeah, you’re alive. Be thankful.”
I wanted to argue, but the details eluded me. What was it that was so important? Facts faded from me, as a ring of darkness swept in from the edges of my vision, framing her face, burning the vision into my mind as I fell asleep.
Brutal appeared to me, the setting the same as in the first video, a dark nightclub, sitting amid a throng of people. He smiled, shaking his head in disgust at me.
“I told you,” he said with vicious glee. “Now they have you in a box again. You think that gesture with Haha is going to mean anything to anyone? If that’s why you did it, then-“
Suddenly I was there, sitting across from him, where the camera’s point of view had been.
“-you’re dumber than you look.”
I was dressed like him, modern and metro – shaved and trimmed, impeccably styled with the latest fashion.
“I couldn’t keep him,” I said. “It wasn’t right to-“
“I don’t have time to quibble, Blackjack,” he said. “Write it in your jail cell memoirs; ‘My time as a Villain: A Reckoning.’ I won’t read it, though. By then, things will be well in order.”
It was about him, but I couldn’t remember.
I tried to mouth the words of inquiry, but instead a pair of young women appeared from the crowd and sat, one on each side of me, caressing my chest. It was too fast, too forward, and Brutal shook his head in disgust.
“And just like that, you’re out of the picture. Who cares if they’re real or not? Hell, the fake ones are more fun. You should know.”
Speaking was impossible, as the women massaged my chest and face, one of them stifling my attempts at speech by leaning in and kissing me. I tried to push her off, but I was too weak, my arms too feeble to move a skinny model. I tried to focus on their faces but their beauty was nebulous and undefined, and the one powered through my resistance to kiss me again.
When I looked back at Brutal, he sat with Apogee, her hands working up and down his face and chest, their kiss was deep and intimate. He peeled off her mouth long enough to say, “You had your chance, didn’t you? And now you’ve gone and blown it.”
I woke with a start, but instead of being at the bar, I was in the medical lab high up on Superdynamic’s Tower of Babel. Across from me was a woman, yelling at me. She was a blur and at first I felt I might be under attack, but I knew I was safe, I was good here.
My eyes fluttered, and I faded quickly – but something ate at me.
A clock was ticking, and time was running out.
* * * *
Ruby stood out of arm’s reach, studying me as if I were an unruly pet, fists shot into her waist, her face twisted and wrung with anger.
“That’s right, I’m talking to you, ya daft prick,” she said.
“How about you take it easy,” I said, my eyes drifting to the vitals board behind her, but unable to focus on anything but her angry eyes.
“How about you go and fuck yourself, and your fucking buddy boy that’s got me waking at six in the morning to give you messages,” she said. “And this morning most of all. Council’s meeting in an hour and I was hoping to get a little catnap before. Now I don’t even have time to get dressed properly.”
I could only stare at her, agog at the aggrieved rage she had mustered. I wanted to ask about the council and why she needed to change into something beyond the costume she was already wearing, but it was all my addled mind could do to translate her East End London Cockney into something approaching the English language.
“Are ya daft or something, mate? I’m talking to you.”
I ran a hand over my scalp, loose skin coming away in strips, the prickly growth of stubble pushing from underneath it. The same was happening on my arms and chest, and though it didn’t itch, it did annoy me enough that I was tempted to shave it. I wrung my hands together, digging the nails roughly into the palms. They were made from the same keratin as my hair, yet never burnt off.
“Water,” I said, reaching over for the glass on the nightstand next to my bed. I almost knocked the thing over, splashing water about, and she reached in and grabbed it.
“Start from the beginning, honey,” I said, after draining the glass. “And try to speak English.”
She shook her head in disbelief, “You’ve got a lot of balls, you know that?”
“Itchy balls,” I corrected, throwing the sheets aside and scratching the
m. The growing hairs were causing havoc down in my crotch.
“It’s a fucking wonder of God and science that she sees anything in you,” Ruby said, crossing her arms and looking down at me.
I spilled the last few drops of water from the glass down my throat and looked around the room for more to spare me from a parched throat.
“Well, I’m not your bloody secretary, know what I mean? Tell all your little friends.”
I stood, naked, and walked across the room to a jug of water, filling my glass and drinking it.
“Seriously, woman,” I said. “You-“
“Holy shit,” she said.
“Now you see what she sees in me,” I said, laying it thick.
“How’re you…” she paused, realizing what I had meant, then scoffed, “You’re too impressed with yourself, you know that? I’m not talking about your wanker, you wanker. I’m amazed you can even stand.”
I drank more water as Apogee entered the room in a rush. She was dressed in yoga pants and a t-shirt tied back at the midriff, her hair in a messy ponytail, worry painted deep on her face. She took one look at me and calmed down.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Apogee, I didn’t realize-“
“It’s okay. I just had the alarm go off. His vitals kind of spiked – what the fuck are you doing walking around naked?”
“Thirsty.”
“He had some message come into the tower,” Ruby said, still apologizing to Apogee who grabbed a hospital robe.
I waved her off, “I’m alright.”
“No, dammit,” she said, looking over at Ruby. “Get decent.”
“Decent, she says,” Ruby said.
I took the robe and drank some more.
“You were talking about some message,” Apogee said, snatching the robe and forcing me into it like a small child.
“I don’t like being manhandled,” I complained.
“Some bastard’s been through the phone boards, and to every damned department in the tower – calling for hours, it seems, for stupid here.”
