by Lucia Franco
Her eyes flashed as I winked and gave her a little wave, then I gave her my back.
Chapter Twenty-One
All day I watched every move Kova made, the way he spoke to the girls, and how he gave them last minute pointers. I picked up on enough to absorb and reflect on it.
I hated being near him and I loved it at the same time. I found I craved his words, his instructions, his guidance. He'd whisper his thoughts to me while we watched routine after routine where he—and the judges—would find errors. I had spotted most of them, but then he'd surprise me with something I didn't catch or really put much thought into.
"Oh shit, she's screwed," I said under my breath when a competitor fell off the balance beam. A fall held an entire point deduction, which was huge and utterly devastating.
Kova slightly looked at me but kept his focus on the routine. "Not necessarily. Her routine is flawless so far."
I frowned. "A fall is never good though."
"True, but just watch and wait."
Once she finished, her score went up and it shocked me. Kova smirked like it was exactly what he expected.
"Other than the fall, she executed an absolutely perfect routine. She only lost, at most, a point and a half."
I pulled back. "Where did the other half come from if you said she had a perfect routine?"
He held his thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart. "She had a very, very slight balance check when she got back up."
Huh. I hadn't even noticed that one. "It is all about what is going on up here." Kova gently tapped the side of his temple and lowered his voice. "Gymnastics is just as much mental as it is physical, and the balance beam is the only event that requires the most mental focus. She knew her fall would cost her and that she had to get her head back in the game to come out on top."
The next girl who competed didn't fall, but was currently behind in the standings to the one who had fallen. I looked at Kova for clarification.
"I caught four errors just from the five major skills alone. Did you?"
I'd spotted some. "I saw she bent her knees in two of them."
"Good. Those are point two each time. So now we are at point eight in deductions in just that alone. While she stuck her dismount, she had a heavy balance check. The bigger the wobble, the bigger the deduction. With those two mistakes alone, she now has more deducted than the girl with the fall. Her body posture was terrible, and her toes turned in badly. I would say at least another point three, point four for just that. Now imagine you are sitting as close as the judges." He gave me a knowing look.
It was easy to forget how quickly deductions added up. And unless you had a trained eye for the sport, those mistakes were not easy to spot.
"Some judges curve the scores." He paused. "By the way, the girl with the fall, that is Sloane Maxwell. She is one of the top elites in the country right now. Everyone is after her. Did you watch her eyes when she was competing? She is a fighter that one. Falls happen to everyone. I do not care how incredible you are, it is almost impossible to correct your center of mass when flipping over a piece of wood that is only ten centimeters wide. In the end, it is your difficulty, but more so execution, that makes the difference. That is why when she got back on, she rocked it. That is why you practice until you cannot get it wrong. You forget what is happening around you and you only focus on what you are doing at that moment and nothing else. You leave everything else at the door."
I saw Kova in a completely different light. I was at odds with myself for wanting more of him. I hungered for his knowledge. His uncanny ability to see what I needed to succeed and to bring out the elite gymnast in me without a second thought. No one got me the way he did. His training was harsh at times, and he rode me hard in the gym, but it was because he had a bird's eye for precision. I knew it from the beginning, but to see this approach made me feel different toward him. It made me admire him more than I allowed my heart to, and that worried me.
I promised myself I would try my hardest to not look at him in that light anymore. Promised myself I would stay away, but when Kova took the time to look me in the eyes and break it down and feed me what I needed to thrive, I found him sexy as hell. Addicting. Kova had a potent hold over me and I wondered if he even knew his power.
A lot could be said about the man standing next to me, probably more negative than positive, but there was one thing I knew for certain—today showed he cared about my success in the sport. He did have my best interests at heart. Kova wasn't a man who divulged much about himself, but today said more about him than he knew.
Once the meet ended, I stood awkwardly off to the side as gymnasts were congratulated on their hard work and effort. Reagan was knocked down to bronze, a tenth of a deduction separated her from placing fourth. Holly held silver, while Sarah placed sixth. The men's team would compete after us.
The team, parents, and coaches all had dinner together—and thankfully a fast one. Now I was back in my room alone while the girls had gone to stay in a hotel near the airport with their parents. Holly offered to stay with me, but I politely declined and reminded her that I lived alone and liked it.
Today had been overwhelming and I needed the solitude more than anything to relax.
I'd been so angry with Kova for forcing me to attend the meet he so ruthlessly pulled me from. I thought it was a cruel game he was playing and didn't want any part of it.
Turns out, I was naive. Kova wasn't as despicable as I thought he was.
My heart still burned with vengeance because of what he did, but now I realized I misjudged his intentions and the fire raging inside me slowly dimmed.
I had everything packed for the early flight home tomorrow and now I had a bath running. My goal was to clear my mind. I was insanely eager to get back in the gym with the newfound information I had. The strange thing was, I'd already had the knowledge, but I'd seen it through a different perspective today and that changed things for me big time.
As I undressed, a light knock sounded at my door. I groaned inwardly, hoping Holly hadn't decided to come back.
Grabbing the robe hanging on the back of the door, I quickly pulled it on and tied a knot around my waist. I wasn't tall enough to look through the peep hole, so I carefully opened the door.
"Kova?" I whispered. "What are you doing here?"
"May I come in?"
My eyes narrowed at the ridiculousness of his question. I swallowed hard and clutched the robe tight to my neck.
He wants to come into my hotel room with other coaches and gymnasts around!
"I really don't think that's a good idea."
With a tilt of his head, he gave me a pleading look. "It will not take long. I promise. Just a few minutes, pozhaluysta."
I flattened my lips and amusement lit in his eyes. He got me. I resigned and stepped aside, letting him in.
The sound of running water had Kova glancing toward the bathroom. "Do you need to turn that off?"
I ran to the bathroom and quickly turned off the water and redressed. Stepping back into the room, I found Kova seated in one of two chairs at the round table near the window. Lounged back like he was the king of a fortune five hundred empire, he casually spread his legs wider as he scrolled through his phone. His dark wash jeans fit him to perfection. The way the denim molded his thighs screamed for me to climb him like a tree. My eyes trailed up his long-sleeved black shirt and paused on his biceps. One flex and the seams would give.
Then I noticed the ball cap…and I was done.
So simple. So easygoing. So fucking hot.
Damn this man and his sexual appeal.
A startling need to go to him and sit on his lap and just talk pulled at me. We could talk about anything, meaningless things. The weather. The future of the sport. I could teach him contractions or listen to him speak Russian. This need had absolutely nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a deep connection to someone.
I didn't know why, but the urge to capture this moment hit me like a ton of b
ricks. It wasn't the best idea, it was downright stupid, but I didn't care. I had to have him like this—natural, easy, relaxed. Like it was normal for us.
Quickly and quietly, I pulled my cell phone from my back pocket and snapped a photo of him.
Kova lifted his eyes from his phone and leisurely dragged them up and down my body without moving his head. I felt the heat from his avid gaze roam every inch of my body. One side of his mouth tugged up ever so slightly, and I snapped another photo as he watched. The man looked divine in a ball cap; I could stare at him all day. A smirk tipped the corners of his mouth as I captured another shot. Then he bit down on his bottom lip and dragged his teeth up. I swallowed hard and a soft exhale escaped my lips.
I managed to take one more picture before he motioned me to the chair opposite him. That stupid imaginary string pulling me toward him as I took a seat. Kova placed his phone facedown and sat up straighter, turning toward me.
"You know you probably shouldn't be here, right?"
Kova shrugged carelessly. "I am not concerned. No one will question me."
I raised a brow in skepticism. "That kind of arrogance will backfire on you one day."
"Ria, pozhaluysta," he said suggestively under his breath. "When will you learn that I make the rules?"
I feigned a groan and smiled. "What's so important that couldn't wait until Monday?"
Kova chuckled and I felt it deep in my belly. "I want to know what you thought about today," he said in a low tone. "If you learned anything new."
"Of course I did."
"Like?" He motioned his hand for me to elaborate. He was too comfortable in that chair and it made my heart hammer.
"Like I need to tighten and clean my routines." I leaned forward. "Get any noise out that will distract the judges. I need to be innately mindful of everything I do. If I can feel it, they can see it. The girls made simple, careless mistakes. The kind I'm sure I make too." I looked him directly in the eye. "I need to break down my routines and perfect each skill, nail each one to sheer precision, even if it takes all day to break down a thirty-second bar routine. I have to have a firm understanding of the sport and what I’m doing. Focus and listen to my coaches, really pay attention, visualize it; and do it all with my mouth shut."
I leaned back and expelled a breath. I stared hard at Kova, like I was mad, but I wasn't. I felt every word and I couldn't wait to show him I meant it. To prove it, like he's always saying.
He slowly bobbed his head, and his sharp jaw held my focus. The man could cut steel with it.
He tapped his finger on the table. "You are eager to get back in the gym," Kova stated more than asked.
I nodded and a stupid grin pulled at my lips. It's what gymnastics did to me. "You can't even imagine."
Kova cracked a smile. "Believe me, I know the feeling very well. I can hear it in your voice. You want it bad."
I didn’t want it, I ached for it. I burned with longing to do what I loved for both me and him. I felt everything. The clawing need in my stomach to get back into the gym. The desire to prove I had what it took.
"I like where your head is at. It is where you need to be—focused on not just shit inside the circle, but outside of it too. Become a coach. Be a judge. What would you critique about yourself? You must be aware of your surroundings, what you are up against. The more you work, the more strength you have, the stronger you become. Not just in your bones and muscles, but up here too." Kova tapped the side of his head. "Bloom under pressure and show them what you are made of. I want you to shine out there. I know you can do it. Find your weakness and improve it. Everyone has a weakness somewhere, Adrianna, you just have to be the bigger person to recognize it."
"What's your weakness?"
"You," he said without hesitation.
"Me?" I pulled back.
Kova nodded and repeated himself. "You. Now tell me, what is your strength? What keeps you going besides your love for the sport?"
You, I wanted to say. It was my first instinct.
Kova was my strength, but I was his weakness.
A weakness he worked on to improve and make resilient. A strength that I drew from.
God, the complexity of that tore at my center. We were going to sleep in different beds with the same appetite, wake up with the same drive and same focus, work together to come out as one. We were a team.
"Say it," he pushed on in a whisper. I didn't need to, he could read the answer in my eyes. "I want to hear you say the words, Ria. I need to hear them."
I swallowed, shying away. "You." My voice cracked. "You are my strength, Kova." God, it was so true, and it nearly knocked the wind from my lungs. He really was what I relied on to give me what I needed, and I didn't realize it until recently.
He didn't gloat. "What inspires you?"
"You," I said softly.
"Ask me what inspires me."
I asked him.
"You," he said. My stomach fluttered. "What drives you to push harder?"
"You," I said.
"We are a team—I exhale, you inhale. We fight together. We work together. It is an amazing feeling when you find someone who shares the same passion as you. The possibilities are endless. I am the beast beneath your beauty, pushing you. From here on out, we do it together. You come to me for anything and I will do everything in my power to make it happen."
We stared into each other's eyes without saying another word. We had it all yet didn't have anything.
I'd been incredibly wrong about him. He cared so profoundly it was suffocating. He was untrusting and put on a façade, and I could see why. When he gave, really gave himself, he invaded your personal space to the extreme and took control.
"I know I do not say this often, but you are a great gymnast. You have come a long way this past year, you just need some polishing."
"There is no gymnast who is absolutely perfect, Kova."
Cocking his head, he lifted one side of his mouth ready for a challenge. "I beg to differ. Nadia Comaneci was the first to be deemed perfect. Why? Because she had a coach who was relentless, who fought with her, not against her. He saw her potential, her drive, and pushed. That is how I feel about you. Do not mistake arrogance for confidence. It is not like that. Some days it is not pretty, but nothing is pretty that you do not work for." Kova shifted in his chair and leaned forward, tapping the countertop with his middle finger. "You are an athlete, a business that needs to be promoted, in a sense. You compete with others to get ahead. Use their flaws for your advancement and I promise you it will all fall into place."
I nodded my head, finally understanding his view. "I guess I always had the mentality that I didn't need to compete with others, only with myself to be better than what I was yesterday."
"Today you saw that is not the case." He looked me deep in the eye, and it unnerved me. "Ria, everything I do has a reason. Pulling you from the meet was not such a bad idea because you got a behind the scenes look. Am I right? It will make you better overall."
My jaw dropped. Way to kill the moment. "Kova, I realize now that your intentions were not bad when you took me out of the meet, but it was your delivery that was ultimately harsh and embarrassing. It was wrong and so cruel. You could have gone about it in a different way."
"I am not the asshole you think me to be."
"It was an asshole move, Kova. Therefore, you're an asshole."
He smiled and chuckled, and it pierced my heart. He sat back and strummed his fingers on the table. "You know, I would not let anyone else talk to me like that."
I blushed, trying not to smile. "But you let me."
He shook his head. "And I have no idea why," he said with a deep sigh. Standing up, he took two steps and stood in front of me. Glancing down, he motioned for me to get up. Confused, I did as he requested.
Kova immediately took my seat, then wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap. My heart rushed into my throat as he held me so warm and securely to him. Turning to face him, I grabbed th
e bill of his hat and flipped it around so his cap was now backwards. His grin hit my core and I squirmed in his lap.
Grabbing my cell phone, he opened the camera app and angled the lens toward us. I watched his thumb press down repeatedly.
"What are you doing," I whispered.
He snapped more.
"I realized earlier when you took a photo that we do not have a picture together."
My heart gave a little patter. "We shouldn't."
He eyed me. "There have been a lot of things we shouldn't have done, Ria."
My face lit up and I started to laugh. "Hey! You used a contraction."
"I know…it felt weird on my tongue." He grinned.
I adjusted in his lap and he helped me get situated. It was cozy and I didn’t want to move. We had a way about each other that was so utterly confusing. In this moment it wasn't black and white, right or wrong. There were no colors, no ages, no blurred lines. I wasn't that girl, and he wasn't that guy. We were just two people who shared the same ambitions and a connection that couldn’t be explained, only felt.
"There is one more thing I want to talk to you about."
The playfulness dropped from my face. "What is it?"
Kova placed my phone facedown the way he always placed his, then gently rubbed my thigh in soothing circles. He was staring tenderly into my eyes for a beat longer than usual and it left me apprehensive.
"Today at the meet when you saw the coach yelling? Please promise me you will never intervene if you see it happen again, not with just him, but anyone. I can see why you would want to, but it is not your place."
I looked down. He was completely right. "I know. I'm sorry."
Kova placed his knuckles under my chin and lifted it until we were eye to eye again. This time we were much closer together.
"The way he was talking to the girl, there was no doubt in my mind he would have stepped up to you and given you the same kind of treatment. Adrianna, I already cannot stand him, but I would have fucking lost it on the piece of shit if he said anything even remotely negative to you. I know I am an asshole, and I can be overbearing and bossy, among other things, but one thing you must not have realized about me is that I am fiercely protective over the ones I care about. All he had to do is say one wrong thing to you and I would have ended up in handcuffs. I am serious, Adrianna. I do not play games like that. Hurt what is mine and there will be consequences."
