by Lucia Franco
"And how—"
"Oh! And he said no anti-inflammatory medicine, no matter what. That's a bummer considering Motrin is part of my food group."
Kova gave me a droll stare. "I am well aware of that. And how often is the blading to occur?"
My brows furrowed. "Blading?"
"Yes," he sighed. "Blading is a nickname for the Graston Technique, Adrianna." I stayed silent as he continued. "They run a steel bar over your Achilles to smooth it out." His brows lifted and he moved his hands back and forth like he was rolling out dough, exhibiting how it would happen. "It is usually done to help prevent swelling and immobility." He stared at my blank face. "It is a more extreme form of massage, if you will."
I didn't move a muscle. And barely moving my lips, I blandly said, "He didn't explain that part to me. I'll have to find out when I go back for the PRP." Blading did not sound like fun. It sounded like torture.
"Who is your doctor?"
I rambled off the name of the office as he leaned over and unlocked one of his desk drawers. He pulled out a manila folder and opened it, flipping through the pages inside.
"What are you doing?"
"Ah, so I was right," he said, reading the paper in his hand. "They have trainers at this office who go around to the sports clubs in the area and work on athletes with injuries so they don't have to leave the gym. The blading only takes about ten minutes or so, this is perfect if you need it a few times a week."
I grimaced, fighting an eye roll. "Great. Sounds like loads of fun."
Kova looked up at me. "This is not your first rodeo, remember? You can do this."
A chuckle escaped my lips, I couldn't help it. Hearing Kova use my line was amusing since it came out of his Russian mouth so stiffly. Like he was testing out the word.
"What?" A soft smile tugged at his lips and I hated that it affected me. "Did I say it wrong?"
"No, it just sounds funny coming from you."
Kova stood and placed the paper down before making his way around the desk to stand in front of me. He dropped his hips to the top and leaned over. He clasped his hands in front of him and his voice dropped as he said, "We will get through this, I promise. It is bad, but it could have been worse. The only good thing you have working in your favor right now is that you do not have to train for anything new, we will just go a tad lighter."
"I don't want that," I shot back quickly. I knew he was going to say that by the look in his eyes. Kova cocked his head to the side and took me in. My heart raced as my emotions jumped all around like fraying sparks. I stood up and stepped to him so we were eye to eye.
"I'm not doing this song and dance with you again, Kova. I'm so close to getting what I want. I can taste it. I need to go hard and I'm going to do whatever it takes, so don't expect me to go light on myself. The moment is now." I swallowed hard, fighting the tears threatening to climb. "I only have right now," I said softly. "The time is now."
Kova’s face remained neutral. "I am trying to do the right thing for you. I want to push and make you work through the injury and pain and swelling and act like it is not even there, make you get up and brush it off any time I see you limp." He lifted his hand and brushed back a strand of hair and cupped it behind my ear. His voice lowered to a cracked whisper. "But I do not want to do that because I care about you, and if you injure yourself further, it would be catastrophic, for both of us." His eyes dropped to my mouth. "It is hard to fight you on wanting something so bad. I feel what you are feeling, that hunger inside of you that is never satisfied?" His eyes were soft when they met mine again. "I get it. You are so close yet so far that if you let go, even for a split second, you will feel like it is gone forever."
I nodded hastily, taking joy in the fact that he truly understood where I was coming from. I tried not to smile from ear to ear. This is why we clicked so well. He more than anyone understood my drive and determination. The need to succeed in the sport, not just because I wanted to be on top, but because I hungered for it, craved it.
"I was in your spot once," Kova continued. "I understand what you are dealing with. What we will do is hone in on tightening up a few things and some conditioning. No tumbling passes for now, or vault. Let us get you started on the treatment first so your Achilles can begin to heal as much as possible. You are there, Ria, your routines are solid." Kova paused. "You are there." Kova grabbed my biceps and gave me a little shake. My legs trembled, nearly giving out at finally hearing the words I’d prayed to hear since coming to World Cup. "Coming in first place at the meet was huge. All eyes are on you right now. And you know how I know that? Because I have already gotten call after call wondering about who you are and where you came from. Make no mistake, those little tears are extremely dangerous. We will be smart about it, but we are not stopping."
"You got calls about me?"
He nodded his head, hiding a grin.
"What did they say?" I asked excitedly.
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with right now."
"Kova! Tell me!" I teetered on my toes anxiously. "Just give me something!"
"Just some colleagues asking about which meets you will be at. They were impressed with you and said they hoped to see you at nationals."
My eyes went wide. Nationals were meets I had to qualify for, and the most important ones. I had to be one of the top eight in my age division. No easy feat by any measure, but it still made me happy and gave me a ton of hope. A stupid grin split across my face. Nationals? I couldn't even imagine. I mean, I could, but for his friends to call about me and make that comment was exhilarating.
"You know nationals is where the college coaches go to recruit," he stated.
"No, I didn't know that."
"Not to worry. We have a little time before that." He put a hand up before I could say another word. "I know college isn't on your mind, but I still want you to be well-informed of all your opportunities as much as you can."
Without thinking, I threw my arms around his shoulders and dropped my face into the curve of his neck. His words filled my heart as I leaned in between his hips. Kova wrapped his arms around my lower back and held me snuggly to him. He sighed into my neck. His confidence in me filled me to epic proportions. I needed that, needed to feel like I could do anything, and that he had my back.
Tears poured from my eyes as I cried and thanked him repeatedly. His words were music to my ears. I was petrified and angry when I walked in here today, ready to go toe-to-toe. I feared this meeting would be déjà vu all over again and he’d tell me we'd have to downgrade my skills. But he surprised me in many ways. I had no idea anyone had taken interest in me since the competition.
Kova's hand ran in soothing circles on my back. He leaned his face against the side of my head and murmured, "You got this, Ria. Focus but be smart. I will be right there with you every step of the way." He gave me a little squeeze and dropped a soft peck to my temple. My body warmed and I began to catch my breath when I heard the door creak.
I froze, my heart stopped, and I sucked in a breath as Kova's hand stopped moving. His body hardened against mine and before we could move, the door flew open.
"What…what is going on here?"
I looked over my shoulder and met Katja’s vivid golden and peridot eyes. Fuck.
Kova pulled back. One of his hands slid to my hip and his thumb ran in small circles on my pelvis, only for me to feel and no one to see.
Katja’s eyes shifted rapidly from me to Kova, the accusation in her gaze strong enough to render me speechless. Oh God.
"Katja, what are you doing here?" Kova asked as he stood and put a little distance between us.
"Why were you two…embraced like that?" She stared at me like I was a roach she wanted to step on. "What is going on here, Kova?" Katja glanced at him, then looked back at me. "She is a child," she spat, and I paled.
"I am aware, Kat, but it is not what you think."
"Not what I think? Then what the hell is going on? Why were you two holding each ot
her like…like lovers," she bit out.
Kova eyes darkened and he moved lightning fast to stand in front of her. He began mouthing off in Russian, short and clipped words, but it didn't take a fool to realize he was furious. The tension in the room was stifling, so much hostility it was hard to breathe. I suddenly felt like a leper. Each time Katja tried to get a word in, he cut her off. Her eyes shifted to me, but Kova snapped his fingers and his voice rose every time. She jumped, and I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth as she looked back at him with shame in her eyes. The conversation tampered off, then an uncomfortable silence filled the room for a moment.
"As you see, Adrianna has an injury."
Katja's eyes dropped to my foot that had been wrapped in tape. Her jaw bobbed. Her cheeks blushed. I'd never been so thankful to have this injury until now. The chair had blocked my leg from her view when she had walked in.
Her tune changed immediately, but there was something in her eyes that didn't quite sell me. I wish I knew what he said to her.
"I…I did not know. I apologize greatly."
"It's okay. I got a little emotional thinking my gymnastics career would have to change once again, and I couldn't handle that after coming so far." My voice shook a little.
"Kova has mentioned what a great deal of improvement you have made in the past year. In fact, he says you are his best gymnast and sees big things for you."
My lips parted and I glanced at Kova. Blood pumped faster through my heart as our eyes connected. His body was stiff, his mouth a firm, thin line.
"Now, if you will excuse me, I will see you for dinner tonight, malysh."
Malysh. My eyes lowered.
Katja smiled and leaned in for a kiss, and I decided it was my cue to leave.
Grabbing my keys and cell phone, I mumbled my gratitude to Kova and that I'd see him tomorrow for practice. Hayden tried to get my attention once I was in the lobby, but I limped my ass out of there as fast as I could. The last thing I wanted to see was Kova kissing Katja. Or worse, hear her mouth slurping over his body.
Chapter Forty-Six
One week later, we were in Charlotte, North Carolina, and at another competition. This one was a little smaller, but just as important as the last. Every meet for the next three months was crucial. Not just for my journey to the Olympics, but placing in the top at each one.
My stomach swirled with anxiety and impatience. I was so excited yet so apprehensive, full of unease for my future. I had so much on the line with one shot to get there. I wanted it all right now, but I didn't.
Things were going very well, better than I could've expected. I'd been sleeping better, headaches were gone, and I had way more stamina than usual. All thanks to the vitamin shots I was giving myself a few times a day. The doctor had ordered one injection once a week, but I figured it was a vitamin and it couldn't hurt to take more. I think the stress of testing elite had really taken a toll on my body because once I had that past me, it was smooth sailing…for the most part.
I hadn't had the blading on my Achilles, thank goodness since it sounded awful, but I'd had a steroid injection right into the tendon a day later, and it helped tremendously. Most of the pain and aching went away, but I knew it wouldn't last forever.
The problem was finding someone who could provide me with the Graston Technique without a waitlist. There were very few people skilled in my area who could do it when I needed. Meaning immediately.
Kova and Madeline were both certified athletic trainers. They both could do therapy on my Achilles, but both would require proper training first. It was a special course that entailed four full days of training, two weekends, plus a certification test.
Kova told me he was considering it, but finding the time to fit it in his schedule was another task altogether. Any spare time had been devoted to me at my request. But then I thought of something.
"Kova?"
Kova turned and gave me a once over. I was up soon for my first event of the competition.
"Everything okay?" he asked, his voice full of concern.
I nodded. "I'm fine. I was just thinking that since we have another meet in two weeks, why don't we skip next weekend’s practice so you can take the first half of that class?"
Kova's eyes dropped to my taped ankle then back up to mine.
"Why? Are you in pain now? What is it? What do you need me to do," he quickly shot off as if I'd been in agony and crying out. He stalked toward me. I smiled, my eyes softened at his distress.
"I'm okay. I was just thinking about the future is all."
His features shifted back into place. Back into Coach Kova. "Adrianna, let me handle my schedule. You just focus on you, yes?"
I blinked. "I am focused, but I was thinking about these little tears and how I don't want to make it worse. I've been doing a lot of online reading and that blading is supposed to do wonders."
Kova studied me. I made no sense. I know I didn't. I pushed and pushed, and argued with Kova over not slowing down, despite his suggestions. I knew any worse and it would be a full-blown rupture, and then I could kiss my gymnastics career goodbye. I wanted to be bold and courageous, but I was a little lamb picking on an animal bigger than me. I was going to give it my all and then some, but I still had to be careful.
"Use your brain. Think about what you are doing, what you need to do, and do it. Your body will know. Focus on right now and yourself and nothing more."
"But, Kova, you take time out to help me, so I want to help you if I can." I paused and looked away, slightly embarrassed. "You do a lot for me."
"I appreciate that. And after this weekend, we will work it out. But for now, you are not to think of anything else but yourself and your routines. Let me take care of the rest." Kova glanced up and over my head, someone had called his name. "You are next on rotation. Get ready."
I nodded and took three steps before he stopped me. I looked up and over my shoulder, then turned around, puzzled. "Yes?"
"I do a lot because I enjoy doing it for you, not because I have to." He held up a pointer finger, a brow raised high. "Remember that. Also, stay off the internet. It is garbage."
An appreciative smile tipped my lips just a fraction, enough for him to see. The tension in my shoulders eased and I turned away to prepare for vault, beyond thankful I had someone like him in my corner.
* * *
Another meet in the books and I was flying high, until Kova announced he wouldn't be at the following one. My stomach knotted for a split moment. I needed him there with me, we were a team, but I figured he had taken my advice and planned to sign up for the class to get certified.
I placed second. Point zero zero one was the difference between first and second. One one-thousandth of a fraction was all it took to move me down one step on the podium.
Was that fraction even something visible to the eye? I wish I knew where my deductions were.
It sucked. God, it sucked big time.
"Hey," Madeline said when she saw my face just as we were about to board the plane. Both my parents had skipped the meet, common in the gymnastics world for parents to do, so I flew with my coaches and team. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You tried and that's what matters. You did fantastic, Adrianna. This is your second elite meet and you blew me away by your strength to thrive under pressure. So many girls let nerves get to them. You don't and that's what sets you apart."
I pulled my duffle strap closer to my neck, gripping it hard. I shook my head, still upset with myself for losing the top spot.
"But I didn't try hard enough or else I'd be coming home with a different color medal."
"You're new to this kind of competition. It's gymnastics on steroids. What you've done so far has been nothing less than impressive." She paused. "How's your leg?"
"It's fine." She tilted her head down and gave me the look, the kind your parents give when they think you're lying to them. I tried not to smile, but I couldn't help it. "It's fine, really. I had that blood injection thing, or whatever it's ca
lled, and I've been taking the vitamins and it's been great since then. Honestly."
"All right. Let me know if you need anything, ever."
I nodded, and she walked ahead of me, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Kova had been right that time he said silver is first place loser.
"Coming in second place is the worst feeling after you just gave your all. There are winners and there are losers. You play a sport to win—that is it. Nothing else. You have one chance to prove yourself. One."
I made a vow to myself to never come in anything but first. It was already my goal to be number one, but now that I've had a taste of it, I wanted the whole damn plate. No low-fat, fat-free for me. Give me all, or give me nothing. Anything less than first was pointless and it made me question what else I could've done. I replayed my routines in my head, trying to figure out where I slipped up.
I questioned what my teammate had done better than me.
Reagan had placed first. I glanced over at her. Fucking Reagan had gotten first place by a fraction so small it could only have been due to an extremely small wobble, or slightly bent legs. Hell, my bra strap could have shown, and not knowing what it was, was eating away at me. Surprisingly, Reagan hadn't been smug about it. I think she knew in the back of her mind she wasn't far from dropping to second place, and that rocked her.
Or, I was finally just as good as she was…and she couldn't handle it.
I smiled to myself, letting the frustration roll off my shoulders. This meet was a lesson learned.
Goals were never easy. Practice. It was all about how much effort I put into practice, how I learned from my mistakes.
I was a winner. And I was going to focus on winning.
"Let it go, you did well," Kova said, then boarded the plane. "There is always next time."
But he wouldn’t be there the next time.
I followed behind him and took my seat, thankful I had the row to myself. It was a midday flight on a Monday, and not very crowded. Once the seatbelt light turned off, I grabbed my duffle bag from the overhead. I needed a distraction. I sat back down and dug through my bag for the paperback I had tossed in there earlier, and froze. I took a quick glance around at my team. Reagan was two rows ahead of me. Across the aisle from me, Holly and Sarah had nodded off. Everyone else seemed busy with their own thing, including Madeline and Kova. I turned back to my bag and took out the spiral-bound notebook.
