by Hilary Storm
"Shit. I'm not ready to hear the two of them ripping my ass over leaving. I know it's coming." I know for a fact that it's coming. There were many times I thought about calling Eaven to let her know I was doing okay. But the truth is, I wasn't doing well and she would've picked up on that immediately. We've always been close, so Ivy knows me well too. It was just best to stay away from everyone until I figured out me first.
"Oh. It's comin'. They've been worried about you."
"I know." I have nothing better to say, because I know they've been worried. I knew they would be the second I threw my phone into that river, but honestly I needed to take the time to heal. Hell, I'm not sure I healed much, but the fact that I can face people is a huge step for me in that process.
We get to the taxi and hear a few screams from behind us. My heart skips knowing I'm being thrown right back into that. I could get away with it alone, in a hoodie, but when I'm walking with the lead singer, I'm not going to get to hide.
I guide Kimber into the back seat of the car and move quickly in behind her as Taron does what he does best. He signs a few autographs and asks the girls to let us be on our way before we miss our flights. I keep my eyes focused on her hand in my lap where her fingers are laced between mine. Her squeeze reminds me that she's here and I take a deep breath, trying not to get out of this taxi and go back up to that room we were just in. It was safe. It was peaceful. It was just us.
Chapter Three
Kimber
He's going to have a hard time with all of this. I can tell with the way he responded to the first sign of him returning to his celebrity life. A few screams and he's hiding. I know from the research I've done on him that he's a people person. He loves his fans. This will be tough for him. I wonder if it reminds him of her? How could it not?
She was such a huge part of this life. I'm going to have to be strong for him through this until he learns to cope with all that his old life represents.
"You okay?" I whisper just before Taron sits beside him. His nod should make me feel better, but it isn't exactly reassuring.
"Alright. We're ready. Hurry or Holden will have my ass."
"I'm surprised he left you to get us there on time. I mean, the last person I'd give that job to is you."
"You and me both. Shit, I'm never on time. But I told him I'd make this one happen. It'll be close. They can just hold the damn bird for us. I mean shit.... We're fucking rock stars." It's strange hearing that. I don't know him like this, but I'll enjoy getting to know this side of him.
The ride to the airport is intense, but I'm used to taxi drivers in California. They're always a little on the crazy side. Taron's constant yelling made this one move his ass. I can already tell things won’t be boring around him. Honestly, I may have to take him in doses. He's full of energy and I could see him being the life of every party and that's completely the opposite of how I like to be.
"Pull right up to the hanger there on the left. Holden has us cleared." We're in a small airport. I didn't even know it existed and I've lived here my whole life.
"Thanks, man. Here's a tip; I told you I'd take care of you if you got us here in time." Taron hands the driver a few one hundred dollar bills as a tip and I start to realize what I'm getting myself into.
Holden opens the door for me and I take my final steps on California land for what could be a very long time. I really don't have intentions of rushing back any time soon. The few friends I have understand that I need a clean break from this place and I'm sure they'd come see me once we get settled into our new life.
I step onto a private jet with a stewardess moving quickly to make sure everything is perfect. I sit on the long bench seat, leaving plenty of room for Luke right behind me, and latch my seat belt. Holden sits in the seat directly in front of me, Talon beside him, and Taron slides in next to Luke.
I begin to prepare myself for this ride. I'm not so worried about the one that will fly us to Missouri, but I can't help but still have uneasy feelings about the ride we'll take once we land. I hope Luke is really ready for this. If he's not, I'll find a way to move on myself. It's what I have to do now.
"It won’t be long now. We'll have you completely overwhelmed with everyone when we land, but just hang tight and it'll all calm down after the buzz of Luke returning calms down a bit." I really like Holden. He seems like he's the one that takes care of everyone. He has a way about him that just makes me feel like he's a safe friend to have. Someone who would never betray. That may not be the truth, but it's definitely the vibe I get from him.
"I can't wait to get a guitar in this guy's hands." Taron leans over Luke to talk to me as he points his thumb at Luke. "He's a badass. I've never seen anything like him."
Luke sits back and allows him to talk, but I can see his demeanor change instantly.
"I'm not sure when I'll play again. Right now, I'm just trying to get us settled in and work through a few things that I still need to handle."
"Taron. Don't rush his ass. He'll be there when he's ready and not a minute sooner." Talon seems so serious, very observant and one that just sits back and listens to everyone.
"Yeah, I know. I'm just anxious to get back on that stage."
"You guys don't have to wait on me to get back to it. I'm not sure how long it'll be before I'm ready."
"Nah. We'll wait. We've been talking to a few bass guys. None seem to fit the mold though. We have one that'll be meeting us at the studio tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'm not doing that."
"You don't have to. Hell, I'm sure it'll be another loser." Taron sits back as Talon seems to take over the conversation. "Look, we know it'll be tough. Hell, I'm not sure any of us are ready when it comes right down to it, but she'd want us to continue. So we'll work towards it and in the meanwhile, maybe we can prepare some kickass new songs to release when it all settles. That's something you were always great at."
Luke stays leaned back against the back of his chair with his arms crossed while I try to take it all in. I want to understand all of this and I hope he actually opens up completely about it soon.
"I have a few lyrics that I've been tossing around in my head. I'll see if I can get them down on paper." Luke speaks and we all look at him with a slight hope that maybe he'll be able to move forward even in the slightest with the band.
"Like I said, when you're ready. I don't want any forced shit. We all know that it doesn't work like that. Creativity will only flow when you're ready and willing." I'm really going to like Talon. I can tell he's got a very big heart.
"Kimber. When we land, there will be so much chaos. I want you to stay by Holden and let him keep you clear." Talon leans forward in his chair and clasps his hands together, letting his arms rest on his knees.
"No there won't. We're landing on a private air strip." Holden begins to buckle his seatbelt as the sound of the engine starts up.
"Leave it up to this guy to make sure we're always protected. You still haven't stopped covering their asses, have you?" Luke reaches for my hand when the plane starts to move.
"I don't have any plans to stop anytime soon."
"He says that, but he's gone and shacked up since you've been gone. Who knows where life will take him now." Taron leans over to look out the window as we lift off the ground.
"What? You've shacked up?" Luke yells over the engine noise and I can visibly see Holden loosen up. He's fallen hard for someone. It's great to see a side to these guys that isn't typical. I can see why Luke considers them family. They're all so much alike. I can feel myself drawn to find out about the women who have captured their hearts. He holds back his reply until we're near full speed.
"Yes I have. You'll get to meet her tonight."
"Congrats, man. I can't wait." The plane begins to level off, so I relax just a little. Luke's squeeze on my hand and his slight grin makes me feel better about everything.
"Yeah, it's all still really new, but we hit it off so I thought why the hell not."
"How's ever
ything else?" Luke talks toward Holden when he asks.
"I started a security business with Cowboy. Business really took off right away."
"You might have to give your old friend Luke a job." Luke is the only one laughing at that comment. I can tell they all really want him back on stage, but I feel lost about how to help them make that happen. I'm not going to push him into it, but maybe I can get him excited again some how.
I listen to the guys begin to joke around, lightening the mood tremendously and by the time we've arrived in Missouri, Luke seems excited to land. This is his homecoming and my first look at what home will be like for me. For us.
The plane lands and we stand to exit down the stairs leading to the ground below. There are two women racing toward us as we step out. When Luke steps on the last step, they both wrap their arms around him tight.
"Luke. I swear to you if you ever do that shit again, I'll find you myself and choke you to death. Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you?"
"I know. I'm sorry. I just needed some time."
"I'll give you time, but don't you ever shut me out like that again. How are we supposed to make sure you're alright if you disappear?" The dark haired one steps back and puts her hand on her hip while the other one continues to talk.
"Now tell me everything. Tell me how in the hell you became a fighter. How does that even happen, Luke?"
"I'll tell you everything soon. Right now I just want show Kimber as much as I can." They both look behind him to see me. Thankfully, they both instantly welcome me with smiles and a brief hug. This has to be hard on everyone, but they're hiding it well.
"Hi Kimber. Thank you for making sure my cousin made it out in one piece. I had no idea he was fighting."
"It's probably a good thing we didn't know. Can you imagine how we would've been? Hell, your ass would've been climbing in with him." The dark haired one speaks up.
"Hi. I'm Ivy. And this blabber mouth is Eaven. You'll have to forgive us, we missed Luke."
"He had us scared."
"I'm sorry girls, but you'll have plenty of time to bash me. Kimber doesn't need to know all about my issues on the first day home." Eaven moves to put her arm around Luke once more, giving him a fake punch to his stomach.
"I better have plenty of time." He wraps both arms around her and squeezes her tight, lifting her off her feet.
"You will. Now, get us to the food. I've missed those Walker BBQs."
Chapter Four
Luke
Seeing the girls again is surreal. I feel like Lilly should follow in behind them at any moment, but she won't. I'm trying like hell to bottle these feelings up and let this day be a great one. I have a feeling this will be a day full of reminders of her. How could it not be, this was our world. It was what we did. These were our people. Our family. Our friends.
"You okay?" Kimber steps close to me, giving me a reassuring look and reminder that she's here. I'll have to work like hell to make it seem like I'm not struggling with all of this. I don't want her to feel any less important to me as I try to cope with the tragedy of losing Lilly.
The fact is, I haven't really dealt with it. I ran from it. I avoided anything that would remind me of her knowing it would hurt so fucking much to face it all. Now I'm diving straight into it all and I just hope I'm prepared for what comes my way.
We step up into Eaven's truck, allowing her to continue to warn me about ever leaving again. I've missed her. She's like a sister to me.
"I need time with you soon. I want to do lunch or something very soon, Luke."
"Alright. Just tell me when and I'll meet you."
"And Kimber, Ivy and I will plan a day of spoiling you. I'll show you all the important places you need to know about here. Just let me know if you ever need anything and I'll help you."
"Our stuff won't arrive ‘til tomorrow, but I think I have everything I'll need."
"Ev. Calm down. They're gonna be here for a long time. Just chill." Talon slides his hand across the seat and pulls her attention to him.
"I can't chill. I've been worried sick over him."
"I know, but he's here now."
"Fine. Luke, Mrs. Walker wants to know if the two of you would like to stay at her house for a few nights, but of course Talon and I would love to have you stay with us."
"I still have my place. We'll probably just stay there." Shit. My place. The house that will not let me escape Lilly whatsoever. The place we spent many hours working on music together. So many memories of us from before we started to really become a thing. "Uh, we'll see how the night goes. We may take you up on that offer."
"Anytime. It's always an open door for you two."
"Thanks Eaven. I appreciate your kindness." Kimber smiles oddly at me and I'm positive she can see my internal struggle.
"Anytime! You're one of us now! If Luke brings you home, then I'll accept you with open arms." She stops talking for a few minutes before she starts up again. The silence in the truck is awkward.
"Luke, will you be joining the guys at the studio tomorrow?" She looks through the rear view mirror for my response. "Because if you are, that'll be a great time for me to show Kimber around and make sure she's all settled in. I could even bring her by the studio to see you in action."
"Ev. Shit. He's not sure what he's doing yet. Give him a minute to breathe and take all of this in."
"He's had six months. He needs to get right back into it." I have to stop her. She won’t stop until I do.
"Eaven. I'm just not sure if I can handle that yet. It's just too much. Can you just give me a little time? That's all I need, is time." She raises in her seat to look at me again through the mirror. Her eyes are sad and I know she just wants to do what she can to get me back to normal, but that normal for me died when Lilly did. I can't go back like nothing ever happened and live a future that Lilly and I had worked so hard for.
"How about I go with the two of you tomorrow and we see where the day takes us?" I'm thinking that spending the day with her will detour her from any further talk about the studio, even if it's only temporary.
"Deal. I need to go over a few things with you anyway."
"Like what?"
"You have a shit ton of fan mail. I tried to sort through the important stuff. I kept your bills paid out of your account, but we can talk about all of that later."
"Sounds good."
"We're here. Prepare to be spoiled!"
We walk into the back yard and we're bombarded with old friends of mine. My brother is here and when I look toward the house, I see my parents. Shit. This is going to suck.
"Alright. Alright. Give us some space and let me just talk to everyone at once." They all get quiet and move closer.
"As you all know, I've been gone for six months. I needed to get away from everything when Lilly died. For obvious reasons, it was just too much to stay here. I needed a clean break to get through it, so that's what I did. I found a shitty apartment, a shitty job, and a bike in California to get me through the daily grind. I met Kimber there and we moved in together. She's decided to move here with me, so I'd like you all to welcome her." I look at everyone's excitement as they try to process all of this.
"How'd you become a fighter?" my brother yells over the crowd.
"Well, it's a long story, but I'm not a fighter. I just tried it out for one fight."
"He's a badass fighter. We witnessed his insanity." Taron steps up next to me and puts his arm over my shoulder. It's his way of letting me know that I'm not alone.
"Well, I did kick that guy’s ass." There's laughter throughout the crowd.
"Yes you did, my friend. It was intense. I'd think twice about going at it with ya."
"Taron, you don't have a chance in hell against him." Talon stands next to Kimber.
"Before any of you ask, I'm not here to get back on stage. I won’t return as a guitarist, so please respect that decision. I've answered enough questions about it today and I just want to have fun with everyon
e and face what tomorrow brings... tomorrow."
I see Holden standing next to a woman and decide to step toward his new catch to meet her. I can't think of any female that Holden has brought into the group, so this is a big deal for him.
"Luke, meet Lyndsey. Lyndsey, meet Luke and Kimber." She extends her arms and leans in to hug both Kimber and I. I don't get a chance to really see what she's like because as soon as that hug is over, I'm pulled aside for many more.
My mom grabs me by the waist and hugs me tight while my dad wraps his arms around me too. My family and friends apparently missed me more than I thought. I feel a pang of regret for leaving them all like I did without any information about whether I was alive or dead.
I've been such a secluded hermit for months now, this all seems overwhelming and I let a few minutes pass before I pull Kimber to the side and we make a break for the kitchen. Mrs. Walker will keep things calm.
"Hello Luke! You, my boy, have been a hot topic of many conversations over the past six months. How are you?"
"Mrs. W. I'm good. I'm going to make it."
"Of course you are. We're here to help make sure of that. Now is this the Kimber I've heard a few things about?"
"Yes, ma'am." I proudly introduce the two of them. My mother walks into the house and joins us. I feel almost happy. I feel like I might just be able to function here.
"Luke, can I grab you for a minute?" Eaven walks in and pulls me out of the room. We make it down the hall and into a study before she pulls me into the room.
"I want to make sure you're okay. I feel like you're not and I'm worried."
"Ev, I'm as good as I can be."
"I know. God, I miss her so much." Her eyes begin to tear and I refuse to let this turn into a cry fest because honestly, I'm too close to that myself with all the memories floating around today.
"Every single day."
"Oh, Luke. I'm so sorry."
"I know. Let's just get out there and try to have some fun. I need fun in my life more than you know."
