Four years might not seem that much older when you're forty or something. But I'd known this boy when it wasn't even legal to kiss him, before he even had hair on his chest.
It takes a lot to horrify a Norrell, but they're protective of their pack. Doug might seem okay with this Elianna woman, but even he would balk at the idea of me.
If nothing else, I'm just not Asher's type. They'd think he's making a crazy rebound mistake.
Which, I won't lie, a part of me still thought he was.
Everyone would act uncomfortable and sorry for me and maybe hostile and I'd never be able to face them again.
But this sucked.
What if I just blurted it out?
Yo, guys! Listen up! Asher and I are a thing!
Only what if I was too late? What if we weren't a thing anymore. Maybe I'd screwed it all up. Asher had looked really pissed.
Oh, shit, no, wait. That's recursive reasoning. If I pretend we aren't a thing and so he acts like we aren't a thing and I subsequently get freaked that we aren't a thing, that's on me.
I hoped we'd still be a thing.
This was stupid.
The problem was simple. I was scared. These people didn't really know me. If they knew me, they'd see what a faker I was. Sure, I act like I'm this well-rounded person who has her shit together and doesn't need anyone.
Nope. Lie.
I was in love with Asher. Love to the power of obsession. If he bailed on me now, I didn't know what I'd do.
But I kinda thought he might love me, too. I mean, I knew he did. But specifically that way. Like his parents loved each other. I mean it could happen. Totally.
Couldn't it?
Crap. I'd turned into my parents, with all their self-absorbed doubts and vacillations.
Maybe I should just go ahead and do it, tell everyone I was actually Asher's—
There was an exclamation over by the front door. I peered over there and saw Karl walk in. And behind him came Aura. Even from over here, I could see the ring sparkling on her left hand as she waved it over her head, smiling at everybody.
Oh, hell to the no.
CHAPTER 30
One Year Ago—Stuck There
Asher: Yo, why are you doing it that way? There's an app for that.
Charis: Yeah, I know.
Asher: Then why aren't you using it? What?
Charis: I said mumble. That was a mumble.
Asher: But you'd save yourself twenty minutes.
Charis: I know.
Asher: Here, I'll install it.
Charis: No! I don't want it!
Asher: Why not?
Charis: Look, I'm process oriented, all right? I do things the way I like to do things. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a perfect system going, only to find it's totally obsolete because somebody wrote a stupid app? I can't adapt that fast. I'm entrenched in tradition. That's the way I like it. I'm old-fashioned. Get off my case about it.
Asher: Bullshit. You were the one who wanted to sign up for that Japanese live action robotic fight.
Charis: Why did you even stop me?
Asher: You had a sprained ankle.
Charis: It was almost healed. And I could totally have taken that robot. It was like one third my size.
Asher: Yeah, tradition my ass. I think my point is made.
Charis: Can't wait for next year. I'm so going again. What? No, your point is not made. Or is it? Hmm.
Asher: I'll install it now.
Charis: No. I'm not ready yet. I need to psych myself up.
Asher: For a fucking shopping app?
Charis: Don't look so incredulous. You're making me feel like a freak.
Asher: You challenge me, girl. You do challenge me.
Asher
THIS SUCKED. SLOANE SUCKED. I was going to spank her ass for this shit.
Winnow, apparently not noticing my mood, flung her arms out. "What do you think of…ta-da…the Asher Room!"
"The Asher Room," I echoed.
My sister's "rec 'n tech" room had been turned into a bordello. Among all the velvets and cushions, there was an orgy in the making with about a dozen women hand-picked for my exact tastes.
Meddler that she was, I like Winnow. I mean it's definitely the thought that counts.
All the same…I looked back longingly at the shut door behind me.
"Well?" She sidled up to me and rubbed her face on my sleeve. I snuggled her against me, something you are required to do with soft women.
"What motivated this exactly?"
"I'm making sure that thing that happens whenever you're single doesn't happen this time," she said airily. "It's pathetic watching you moon around and crash into things. You'll never want for love, baby Ash. That's Maria, that's Liz, that's Dora and Louise and over there lying across our cousins' laps is this gal Shona works with, I can't remember her name offhand, but apparently she's always gushing over you—"
"I know who they are. But why, Winnow? Really, without the bullshit. What did I ever do to you?"
"You want it straight? Everyone agrees that you need some serious help choosing girlfriends. Your track record stinks, baby boy. That bitch—"
"Cut it out already about Aura, she wasn't a—ah, fuck, so she was. Listen, a bitch I can handle. That's not the problem, it's—" I stopped, realizing I couldn't say any more without revealing the truth about me and Charis.
I folded my arms, glaring at the room in general at the reminder of the choke chain Sloane had me on.
Winnow's no dummy. She knew something was up. "So who's this black coat girl?" At my silence, she sighed. "There really isn't any black coat girl, is there? That's just camouflage. You're all alone and depressed."
"If there were, you think I'd tell you people?"
She pfawed and then changed the subject. "Hey, we're all going track cycling this weekend. Dad's even threatening to bring his creaky ass. You coming?"
"I'll ask Charis."
"Great idea. She's looking real good tonight, by the way. Is she dating someone?"
I fixed her with a hard stare. "You are not fucking gonna set Sloane up with one of your friends, Winona. How's your love life?"
She sighed. "Low blow, bro. All right, I'll tell you what. If none of these ladies fix your little wagon, then I've got someone that I know will. Her name is Elianna and she is—mmph—" French-style kissy noise—"exquisite."
"I know about Elianna, thanks."
"What? How can you know? It's my big surprise."
"She sent me a picture. Sorry, not my type." I spoke that lie with a completely straight face, I'm proud to say. I'd caught a glimpse of Elianna out there. In person, she was unbelievably fucking hot. Except for the part about my not being interested in anybody except Sloane.
"Oh." Her shoulders slumped. "Well, then, go on, mingle. In a few minutes, we're starting a game of strip billiards. I hope you're wearing your boxers." She gave me a little shove.
"I'm a briefs man."
"TMI, bro. But that'll do. Go, go."
"Not if you're playing," I hedged. We have a rule in my family. Boys can get nude around boys and girls around girls, but mixing the sex streams is verboten.
"Duh." She was already squeezing around the door and closing it on me.
I stared at the shut door. I wanted to burst out of here, grab Sloane, plop down with her in my lap, and put my feet up.
I sighed in supreme irritation and gazed around the room again. Fine. I'd play. But I was going to take this out of Sloane's hide.
Charis
I THINK THEY TOOK IT WELL, considering that, you know, none of them had any warning.
There was a shocked silence when Aura held up that ring finger. But then everybody was converging on Karl and Aura, congratulating them.
I sidled up to hear what people were saying. Mostly they were asking questions.
When's the big day?
Why didn't you say anything?
When did it happen?
When did you b
reak up with Asher?
Aura answered with a serene dignity which, personally, struck me as fake. And I didn't appreciate her spin. She acted like it was she who'd dumped Asher, rather than the other way around.
"It was the hardest thing I've ever done, knowing someone would be left hurting," she said softly. "If I stayed with Asher, would I hurt Karl? If I went with Karl, would I hurt Asher?" She glowed up at Karl. "It had to be Karl."
Everybody looked expectantly at Karl for his reaction. His lips twitched as he stroked Aura's cheek.
"Uh, right, so, was this, like, a whirlwind romance, or what?" Doug was scratching his head. I think he was only asking what was on everyone's mind. As far as I knew, Asher and I were the only ones who'd had pre-warning about Karl's engagement.
Aura leaned forward. "Well, you see, Karl and I—"
"We're fulfilling the conditions of Great Grandma Alice's will," Karl interrupted smoothly. From the way Aura stiffened, I figured they'd disagreed on how much of the truth to tell the family.
I cringed a little. How was I any different from Aura here? The way I was hiding the truth about me and Asher made me at least as rotten as she was.
Karl was going on, "I need to get hitched before my thirtieth birthday or I forfeit everything."
"What everything?" Doug snorted. "You want an old lady's shit? Come over to my place. Take half my crap. There's no need to do anything desperate, man."
Karl sent his brother a mild look and drew Aura close to his side protectively. I think really he's a decent guy. I was starting to feel sorry for Aura, too. I mean, this was her doing, obviously, but I don't think she felt like she had a choice in the way her life was going, whatever she said.
Of course it was inevitable that halfway through the interrogation, they all remembered Asher.
"Does Ash know?"
"Have you told Asher yet?"
"Did you tell your brother?"
"Where is Asher?"
"Ash!"
Somebody pointed at the Closed Door of Iniquity. "There."
"What's he doing in there?"
"Partying."
"Asher doesn't party."
"Sex, not drugs."
"Sex, oh, yeah, Asher does sex."
"Did somebody say strip poker?"
"Pool, they're playing strip pool."
"Not pool, billiards."
I saw Aura's gaze narrow toward the door in question.
Like she had a right to care that her ex was in there getting naked with a passel of women! She knew full well it was my job to be clawingly jealous here.
And back there was Elianna, standing in a catgirl pose, wearing a little smile. Confident-like, as if she knew she was in.
It was enough to make a lameass passive shit girlfriend want to scream.
"That's some big news, hey?" I looked around to see Nate approaching, winking at me.
And Hunt was suddenly there, too, on my other side, slipping his arm around my waist. "Love is in the air," he said with comically raised eyebrows.
I shrugged, being even more of a dipstick now that things were going rabidly out of control.
By "out of control" I'm referring to one of Asher's cousins yelling, "Asher's getting it on in the pool room with naked chicks!" and Winnow pushing through the crowd, calling, "Come on, people, not all of the fourteen women are naked!" But when a tide of male Norrell cousins starting moving, I bit my lip, not sure whether to laugh or cry.
Time out for a sec.
Forget my own drama here.
This.
This is why I'm a little loony about the Norrells and spend, like, all my holidays with them. It's not just the entertainment value. It's the way Erica and Alfred Norrell stood there clutching each other, hands over mouths. It's the giggling behind the bedroom door the adults were forcing shut to keep out all the kids trying to listen in.
This family got off on each other.
Asher had grown up with this.
My folks would disapprove—and they do party with drugs.
Me, though, I love it. I love not being the only one confused. Around Asher's family, I feel like nobody thinks I'm weird.
Except for if they ever found out I was a perv taking advantage of their youngest son. Then they'd, you know, think I'm weird, and probably lynch me.
Now Erica was doing her badass hostess bit, extending her hand graciously. "Aura, welcome to the family."
"Thank you, Erica." Aura moved forward to hug her, tears glistening in her eyes.
"No more switching," Erica said severely, setting Aura at arm's length. "I don't want any of my boys' hearts broken again." She looked around and caught my eye, and smiled with one lifted brow.
Oh, crap.
Why had she singled me out?
Was that a warning? Was I supposed to protect Asher from getting his heart broken the next time?
Oh, shit, what if she blamed me for the failure of his relationship? For keeping quiet when I must have had an idea it was really sucky?
I bit my lip, feeling tears prickle my eyes. I was the worst best friend ever.
I watched Alfred hug the happy couple, and I turned away, feeling sure this party had reached its nadir and could not possibly get any worse.
Then a new cry arose by the front door.
Mel had arrived.
CHAPTER 31
Two Years Ago—Read My Mind
Charis: I'm thinking about getting an espresso machine. What do you think?
Asher: Don't do it. Dumb idea. Look over there, see that? That's a coffee shop right across the street from you.
Charis: Wait, wait, dumb idea? How can you even say that?
Asher: I thought you wanted my input.
Charis: I do. Obviously I want you to say yes, you should get an espresso machine, brilliant idea. That's the input I want, duh.
Asher: Then say so next time. I'm not a mind reader. How am I supposed to know "what do you think" translates to "tell me what I want to hear?"
Charis: All right, fair enough, I guess I can do that. Should I really get an espresso machine, though? I mean really?
Asher: This is a trap, right?
Charis: You need to tell me yes! The right answer is yes!
Asher: Get yourself an espresso machine, Sloane.
Charis: Asher, that is the most beautiful thing anybody has ever said to me and I think I love you.
Asher: No more whiskey sours for you, woman.
Charis
I SQUEALED "GOTTA GO" AND slipped away as Hunt exchanged was-it-something-I-said looks with Nate.
Then I crept away to the only secluded, unoccupied nook in Winnow's little house, a dark room at the end of the hallway guarded by a disturbing painting of a granny boot gushing with blood. I huddled there with my phone until she found me ten minutes later.
"Cubbins!"
"Melly Belly!"
My nickname derives from my funky hats, hers from her love of smores. Not that it's important. But just so you don't think we're cutesy or anything.
I mean, we're close, don't get me wrong. We were, anyway, way back when. These days, what with her family and the distance, we mostly just follow each other's social media posts.
Mel's husband was with her, holding the baby, and their little dude, too. I sprang up and hugged them, tickling the baby's soft wisps of hair and laughing at Esteban's funny stories about the world of a defense trial lawyer until Mel shooed them away.
She's like her brother. She doesn't waste any time.
"All right, who the hell," she demanded, taking a swallow of her drink, "is anorak woman? Nobody will tell me. Karl knows. I know he knows. But he's just all, smile, smile, ignore me like I'm not there."
I shrugged and buried my face in my phone.
"You know something," Mel said instantly.
"Uh, yeah," I said, as if I wasn't paying attention. "But it's, um, private. You know, confidential."
"Hmm." Mel slowly looked me up and down. "Wowza, girl, what's happened to you sin
ce the last time I saw you? You need an adult filter for those boobs."
I contemplated my well-nippled chest. "Tough. I wasn't exactly there when they were installed."
Mel's eyes widened. "I see. Where'd you get the dress?"
"Some fancy shop."
"Who was with you when you bought it?"
I hesitated. "Asher."
She nodded smugly, as if I'd proved some point. "Soooooo, tell me…who'd you come with today?"
"Who'd I come with? Ah, actually, Ash. It was Asher. We drove in a car." Why was she torturing me with this stuff?
"Uh-huh." She pursed her mouth. "All right, spill the gossip. Why'd he break up with Aura? And I don't buy that bull about her doing it. She'd never leave him if it was up to her."
"Ask him yourself," I evaded.
"I already tried, on the phone. I told him he was making a big mistake and he should apologize to Aura, but the twerp didn't take the bait."
Sometimes Mel mystified me. "What bait?"
"Come on, he finally gets the balls to break up with Aura and I'm not supposed to wonder why? But he just brushed me off. He won't tell me anything, but you…I was friends with you first so I get First Loyalty. Tell me all."
I shook my head. "Nope, uh-uh, that's not how it works. You can't make me talk."
I forgot that you don't dare a Norrell.
"Oh, yeah?" Mel gulped down the last of her drink, set down the cup, and clutched my hair.
I slapped her away. "Quit it! I've taken an oath of silence!"
I'm proud to say I prevailed in the end. She's become a real wimp since the baby. Defeated on her keester, she slumped against the wall, straightened her bra straps, and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her. I really do get why dudes go for hourglass figures; Mel is super nice and soft to lean against.
"Damn, and here I was hoping you puppies would finally see sense," she sighed.
My comfortable feelings vanished. I turned my head to look at her. "What was that?"
"You guys. You and Asher. We all were hoping." She sighed again. "But I guess we got it wrong."
Now it was established that I hadn't misheard, my heart did stop for a moment.
Unfriended: A Geek and Stud Romance (Love in New Highland Book 1) Page 27
