by Naomi Niles
“Are you sure you don’t need me to come in?”
“Boss, enjoy your time off. I’ll see you Monday.”
“Thanks, man.”
“You got it.”
It felt good knowing that I could step away from my job and not worry about a thing. Brian was as dependable as they came and he was an extension of me in the workplace. There wasn’t a difference from me to him when it came to the way things were being run, and I knew that whenever I decided to retire, he would be the perfect man to step up. I got up from the couch and walked to Sarah’s room. A few days had passed since I rearranged everything. After I dropped the flowers off at work, I took her clothing to Goodwill. There were four boxes full of items, and when I brought them in, the female worker was very appreciative.
“They are from a very special person,” I said, recollecting thoughts of Sarah.
She smiled. “I am sure they are.”
I walked to the empty closet in her room. The air was still. The silence was deafening. I took a deep breath and inhaled the silence, then blew it out softly. The only things that remained in her room were pictures, trophies, plaques, and the bedding on top of her mattress. Everything else had been taken out and placed in storage. I never thought I would be able to do anything like that, but as soon as I did, I felt a load lifting off my shoulders. Things weren’t easier, but I could feel them heading that way. I smiled, then closed the door and went back into the front room.
It was almost 12 pm when I closed my eyes for a nap. When I opened them again, it was just past 3. I pulled myself off the couch, then headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner for tonight. I thought of taking Caroline out for a night on the town, but I figured that I would make this evening intimate between the two of us. She had texted me a few times when I was asleep. She came off like a child who was excited to open her gifts on Christmas. It was cute to me, and it made me realize that she appreciated my gestures towards her.
After I had finished cooking, I got myself ready for her. I put on some slacks and a short-sleeved, button-up shirt. I knew she would be dressed up, so I didn’t want her to be the only one. My doorbell rang at 7:45 pm. I laughed as I looked out the window. She is early. When I opened the door, a bright smile shined from her countenance. She wore a white mini dress with 2-inch heels. Her hair was tied into a bun as she stood in front of me. The sunshine from behind illuminated her silhouette like an angel. I looked at my watch. “7:45?”
She laughed. “Whatever, Harrison. I just couldn’t wait to see you. I can come back if you’d like.”
I pulled her in closer and planted a kiss on her lips. “No, you are fine. I was just giving you a hard time.”
I closed the door behind her as she walked further into the house. “It smells good in here, Chef Harrison.”
I removed her jacket and hung it inside the closet, “Thank you, my dear. Are you hungry?” I noticed the earrings and bracelet adorning her earlobes and wrist as she stood in the middle of the front room.
“Yes, I am. Shall we?”
“Indeed.”
I led her into the kitchen. Our plates of steak and potatoes sat peacefully on top of the dinner mats. The candlelight on top of the table flickered as I pulled my chair out for her. Jazz music played low in the background. Rose petals were scattered around on the table and in her seat. “This is gorgeous, Harrison.”
“It pales in comparison to your beauty.”
She blushed, then took her seat at the table. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the refrigerator, then removed two longneck wine glasses from the counter. “You are pulling out all the stops, huh?”
“Well, I have a lot of making up to do.”
I sat down at the table as she continued. “Harrison, please. I’ve already forgiven you for that. We both had a lot that we needed forgiveness for, so we can move past it now. You know this is one of your issues. Holding onto things. You have to let that go. If you keep beating yourself up for it, you’re going to mess around and hurt your hand again. I don’t want that to happen.”
I sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. This ‘letting go’ thing. It is much easier said than done. How do you do it?”
“Well, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t have a formula for it or anything. I think that as women, we are more emotional and because of that, we are prone to talk things out. Cry. Yell. Scream. Whatever we need to get out, we get it out. I guess that is what you should do instead of holding it in. Like now,” she took a napkin and spread it onto her lap. “Why are you holding on to what you said to me last Sunday?”
I looked away from her, trying to find a reason as to why I still held onto it. “I don’t know. I guess because, in my mind, nothing I do will be able to remove how I made you feel. Like, it will always be in the back of my mind, you know? As much as I want to shake it, it will remain. Taunting me, sort of.”
She grabbed her knife and cut into the steak. The juicy morsel clung to her fork as she dipped it into the steak sauce on the side of her plate. “Well, see, that is the problem. When I told you that I forgave you, I meant it. Since that moment, you can forget about it. Forget about how it made me feel. Forget about what you said. Because if I saw I forgive you, then should be your closure. You should move on from it because I will treat you as if nothing ever happened.” She looked at the table, the reached for the wine glass. Suddenly, she stopped. “No, you grab the wine glass. Grab it and then hand it to me.”
I did what she asked and handed her the wine glass. “Now, imagine that the glass is what you said to me. You spoke those words, and now I have them. I am hurting. But guess what? As soon as you say you are sorry, watch what happens.” She took the wine glass and placed it on the floor, then brought her hands back to my line of sight. “It is gone. You see how that works? Now, you don’t have it because you gave it to me, but when you asked for forgiveness, I no longer have it either. Now, nothing is there. That is how you have to look at things.”
“What about Sarah? How do I let that go?”
“That, Harrison, should’ve never been there. That is not your fault, but somehow, you made it your fault. Sarah doesn’t blame you for that, Harrison, trust me. I’ve known her for the majority of my life, and I know she wouldn’t have blamed you for what happened. You created that blame as a means to cope. That’s it. It doesn’t exist.”
I looked at her as she slid the piece of steak into her mouth. The way she spoke with such assurance. It was as though she demanded I make sense of what she was saying, and I did. Everything was as clear as day. I raised one eyebrow to the middle of my forehead. “Are you sure you are in the right business? Accounting? Maybe you should have been a psychologist.”
She laughed. “That is funny because I switched majors my second year in college. Psychology was my first choice, but then I realized how much I loved numbers, so I switched it. I still remember a lot of what they taught, though, because I am interested in the study of human behavior.”
“I see.”
After we finished our meal, I led her into the front room. While we sat on the couch, I pulled a small notebook from beneath the cushion. “Now,” I said, holding it in my hands, “this is what I had to show you.” I handed her the notebook and she stared at it for a second.
“What is this?”
I leaned back on the couch. “Just open it.”
She flipped open the notebook. There were pictures drawn and colored on different pages of the book. “What is this, Harrison?” she asked, flipping through the pages.
“That is Sarah’s notebook.” I exhaled, knowing that I was headed for an emotional time. “When she was younger, she used to draw all these pictures of her mother.”
“The woman that came by a few weeks ago?”
“Yeah. Anyways, she drew all these pictures, and I knew who they were of, but when I asked her, she said, ‘No, Daddy, these are pictures of the woman you are going to marry.' I thought it was cute, you know? But at the time, I wasn’t worried about marriage or anything else.
I was focused on creating a good life for me and my daughter. She drew all these pictures up until about fifth grade. I told her I would hold on to them until I met that woman. She made me promise, so, that is what I did.”
“Why are you showing these to me, Harrison?”
Her eyes glimmered as the moonlight shot through the window. “Because… I believe I have found that woman.”
She sat quietly, and moments later, I gently touched the back of her neck and pulled her lips closer to mine. She placed the notebook on the ground as her tongue slithered into my mouth. I loved her more than any woman I’d ever known, and I didn’t want her to have a doubt in her mind that she was who I wanted to be with for eternity.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Caroline
His lips connected with mine as we sat on the couch. I was just beginning to understand how he felt about me and how deep his feelings went. I would’ve never imagined our lives intertwining the way it did, but now, I couldn’t see it any other way. I leaned back onto the couch as he climbed on top of me. He put his tongue on my neck and made a slithery line to my collarbone, then kissed softly where it ended. I put my hands on his biceps so I could feel them contract each time he moved into another position. As he moved his lips back towards me, I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in closer.
Suddenly, he scooped me off the couch and carried me into his room like a baby. I kissed him as he effortlessly carried me to the room and laid me on the mattress. “Change of scenery?” I asked, laying on the bed. He unbuttoned his shirt in front of me. I saw the middle of his abs. They were perfectly separated at the bottom of his torso as he turned and walked into the bathroom. Moments later, I heard the shower turn on. When he came back into the room, he was completely naked. I licked my lips as he climbed back on top of me and searched my breasts with his tongue. He pulled my dress down and exposed the fullness of my tits. I moaned as he flicked his tongue against my nipples.
Our breathing intensified as he reached below my waist and eased my thong down from my legs, then tossed it to the floor. With his body pressed against mine, he kissed me softly and sensually as if he wanted to savor the moment. My tongue massaged his while his hands roamed through my hair. The water from the shower splashed into the tub in the bathroom, creating a rainlike sound that billowed through the room. I could feel his dick harden on my leg. He eased his body between my thighs with the tip of his penis brushing against the lips of my vagina. I wanted him now, but he teased me. He toyed around, increasing my desire for him to come inside me.
His fingertips grazed my thighs, sending chills through my body that caused my hairs to stand on edge. “I love you,” he said as he looked me in my eyes. The bold, blue color stained my memory. I saw the depths of his soul expressing the deepest, innermost feelings of his heart.
“I love you, too.”
I pulled his lips back onto mine, barely allowing the words to escape my mouth before I felt the softness of his kiss. I reached for his penis, but he stopped me. He lifted me into the air as I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him as if he lips gave me life. He carried me into the bathroom. The steam from the shower fogged the windows as we walked by. Water splashed into the jacuzzi tub as we walked inside. He placed me on the ground, then pressed my back against the wall. The water splashed onto his back as he stood in front of me. His muscles glistened under the bathroom lights and immediately, he pressed his lips against mine.
The water splashed onto my bare chest as he glared down at my erect nipples. “Damn, it seems like you get sexier as the days pass.” I smiled and stepped closer to him, allowing my tits to brush against his firm, chiseled chest.
“Well,” I said, running my fingertips over his ripples, “why don’t you show me how sexy you think I am?” I took his hand and placed it on my ass, causing him to grab a handful of my cheek. He bit his lower lip, and as the drops of water splashed onto my face, I leaned forwards and slithered my tongue over his nipple like a snake. He moaned as I switched between licking and sucking, then slid down to his abs, and finally, to his dick. He was standing at attention as soon as I got on my knees and wrapped my mouth around his penis. My tongue slid up and down his shaft as he put his hands on each side of the shower for support. I pushed his meat as far inside of my throat as it could go and kept it there for a moment while I used my other hand to gently massage his balls.
Once I removed his dick, pre-cum slowly dripped from the tip of it like syrup. He quickly grabbed my head and pushed it back down onto his meat as he kept one hand on top of my head. His back shielded me from the splashes of water while I bobbed my head up and down on his dick, using my other hand to stroke it each time my mouth went up and down. His moans became louder as I slid my fingers down to my vagina and started playing with my clit. It was already firm, and any stroke sent my body into small convulsions as my mouth stayed glued around his dick. I snatched it out my mouth and jacked him off, looking directly up at him. His abs glistened from the water that slowly dripped down the front of his body. His chest flexed with each movement he made, doing all he could to keep himself standing but at the rate, I was going, I knew his legs were becoming weak because he was on the verge of ecstasy.
I smiled and slid my lips back onto his dick, and suddenly, he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me up. My pussy immediately dripped with moisture. I loved when he got rough with me. I always wanted a man who could be strong enough to handle me mentally and sexually, so Harrison was perfect. He turned me around and forced me to the back of the shower. My chest slammed against the wall as he put his hand on the back of my head. My legs spread open, and seconds later, his long dick slid right inside my pussy with ease as my mouth hung open. I wanted to yell out in pleasure, but the feeling was too intense, so nothing came out of my mouth. He lifted his hand and smacked my ass while he held onto the shower rail for support. The floor mat in the shower was enough to keep both of us from falling on our asses as he fucked me from behind, pulling my hair back so he could kiss me on my lips. I stuck my tongue inside of his mouth, twirling it around until I felt myself starting to come.
I reached forward to play with my clit when I felt it coming, “Yes, Harrison,” I said out loud as he fucked me harder. “Right there, don’t stop, don’t stop.”
He grabbed my ass while I moved my finger back and forth over my clit. My eyes rolled back into my head, and I started slapping the wall with the palm of my hand, “Yes! Yes, baby!” I yelled out as my legs shook. Moments later, I screamed out in pleasure as he slid his hands around my throat, choking me gently. I pried one of his hands off my throat and slipped his finger into my mouth, sucking on it like it was his dick. The thought made me cum even more as he continued fucking me from behind. I could feel his warmth shoot inside of me as he took his other hand and stroked my nipple. Just then, he ripped open the shower curtain and forced me outside into the room and threw me on the bed, our bodies still soaked from the shower. The water ran in the background, reminding me of raindrops, and that turned me on even more.
He spread my legs open as I laid on my back and positioned his head right between my thighs. I moaned, as he smiled and then gently slid his tongue over my clit. My legs clenched around his head with each stroke, and I tried to slide away from him, but he was much too strong. He grabbed hold of my thighs and pulled me back towards him. Moments later, he slipped his tongue back inside of me and buried his face into my vagina. He licked the front of it with the flatness of his tongue as he reached up and grabbed my tits. I clenched onto the covers and pulled them up as he found my G-spot and stroked it until I came from my soul. I heard him slurping all of it as he used all of his strength to hold me in place so that I wouldn’t move away from him. My breathing increased, and every limb on my body shook as I came right onto his tongue and he sucked every pit of it into his mouth. I put my hands on his head, and they shook as if I was nervous, and seconds later, I was out cold.
I woke up laying right next to him in the
bed. He was still naked; his dick lazily dipped to the right side of his body. The sun was completely gone from the horizon, and the shower water was still running in the bathroom. I nestled closer to him. The heat circulated in the room, keeping us warm as we laid on top of the covers. He moved as I put my head on his chest. When he spoke, his voice sent vibrations through my head. “How long have we been asleep?”
“I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t want to know. It feels like I will wake up from this dream, and God knows I do not want to wake up from this. Now not. Not ever.”
“A dream?” He smiled. “Yeah, I believe those are my thoughts exactly.”
“How did I ever make it this far in life without you, Harrison? I mean, didn’t know guys like you existed until now.”
“Yeah, I can understand that. I am 39 years old, so I was pretty sure that my hope of finding a lifetime partner was long gone by now.”
I lifted my head off his shoulder. “Lifetime partner?”
“Yeah. Well, I mean, you know. Somebody who I could see myself being with further down the line. Did I scare you?”
I stared at him for a moment, then dropped my head back to his chest. “Well, I don’t think, ‘scare,' is the right word. More like… anticipation. I’m sorry, I guess I am just jumping the gun a little bit. I don’t want to scare you off. You know how most men are when commitment is mentioned.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I understand. Good thing that I am not like most men. Otherwise, I may have kicked you out by now.”
I kissed him on his chest, then walked my fingers across the ripples of his abs. I loved where I was at in life. I had a good paying job and a good man by my side. I thought about my move to California in a few months. I didn’t know whether I would leave or not. Harrison brought it up a few times, but I kept telling him I was unsure. It all depended on him, though. I was opposed to it before, but if he wanted to marry me, I would be inclined to stay here with him. That was the only thing that would keep me, though. I knew we were still pretty young in our relationship, and it was a bit early to speak about marriage, so I wasn’t going to bring it up. I was just going to let things play out on their own and see where I ended up. I hoped that it would be in his arms, much like now, but that was out of my hands.
