by Naomi Niles
“What should I wear, Mommy?”
“Whatever you like, darling,” I replied. “Anything you’re comfortable in.”
“Should I wear a dress or pants?”
I smiled. “How about we go home and look at our options?”
“Okay,” Renni nodded. “How much longer till we get home?”
I laughed. “Are you that impatient?”
“Yeah…”
“Six more minutes,” I said, being as precise as I could.
We got home in seven minutes. Renni raced for the front door while I got her backpack, locked the car, and followed her to the house. The moment we were inside, Renni headed straight to her room to pick out an outfit.
“Sweetheart,” I called, following her into her room. “It’s a bit early to get ready right now. Why not pick out something to wear in a few hours?”
“Please, Mommy,” she said, looking up at me imploringly. “I really want to look pretty.”
I smiled. “You are pretty, angel,” I assured her. “Trust me, you don’t have to try.”
“Can you do my hair?”
I laughed. She obviously wasn’t listening to me, so I nodded and just decided to let her enthusiasm play out. “Of course, I’ll do your hair. Why don’t you pick out some options, and I’ll help you decide when we need to get ready?”
“Okay,” she agreed readily.
I left Renni with her head in her drawers and headed to my own room. I slid back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. I had been nervous that Sam had just wanted sex from me, that he’d just been another guy looking for a good time.
But apparently, that was not the case. He seemed to want to get to know me, and more importantly, he seemed completely unperturbed by the fact that I had a child. Men scared easily, and I was glad to see he wasn’t one of them.
I gave myself only five minutes of thinking time, before I forced myself off the bed. I tidied up the living room and the kitchen, did a load of laundry and checked in on Renni a couple of times. By the time my chores were done, it was time for me to get ready, too.
“Mommy,” Renni called, running into the living room.
“Yes, honey?”
“Come help me pick out what to wear,” she said.
Nodding, I followed her into her room. There were two outfits that she had laid out on her bed. They sat side-by-side, complete with the shoes she wanted to pair them with.
“Wow,” I said, impressed with the care she had taken. “Some good choices.”
The first outfit included a spaghetti strapped white dress with little yellow daisies on the bodice and the hemline of the skirt. There was also a denim jacket that Renni loved and her favorite pair of yellow boots. They were the ones she had been wearing the night of the accident, when we had first met Sam.
The second outfit included her light blue jeans, a pink t-shirt with hearts on the front and a white denim jacket with pink details on the arms. She had paired that outfit with her blue sneakers with the glittery laces.
“What do you think, Mommy?” Renni asked. “Which one do you like?”
“You’re becoming quite the fashionista,” I smiled down at her.
Renni beamed as I turned my attention to her two choices. I gave the situation the gravitas it deserved and studied both options carefully while she watched my every move.
“I think I know which one is the better pick,” I said.
“Tell me!” she said, jumping up and down.
“The dress,” I said, pointing to the right. “I think Sam will like seeing those yellow boots of yours again.”
Renni beamed and nodded. “I think he will, too.”
“Great,” I said. “Then you’re all set.”
“What about you, Mommy?” Renni asked, turning to me. “We need to decide what you’re wearing too.”
“That’s right,” I nodded, feeling the nerves kick in. “Would you like to help me?”
“Uh-huh,” Renni said enthusiastically.
She grabbed my hand and led me to my room. We rifled through my closet for ten minutes before she turned to me with a disappointed look on her face. “These are mostly your work clothes, Mommy,” she said accusingly.
“I know, baby,” I nodded. “My clothes are either work or casual.”
“You don’t have any party clothes?”
“I can wear the same thing I wore to Aunt Vanessa’s gallery exhibit?” I suggested.
She frowned. “But Sam has already seen you in that.”
I smiled at how discerning she was, and then something struck me. I had a box of clothes that I’d packed up ages ago and stuck in the back of my closet. They were clothes I’d worn in college, clothes that had belonged to a period of my life when I was still getting drunk regularly and partying often. After I’d had Renni, I’d packed most of them away, but for some reason I’d never got rid of anything.
“Hold on,” I told her, as I felt around in the back of my closet and pulled out the box I was looking for. “Here we go.”
“What’s that?” Renni asked, with interest.
“A box of memories,” I replied.
Renni peeked into the box and her face lit up. “Mommy!” she gasped. “You have to wear this one.”
She dipped her hand into the box and pulled out a red strapless dress with a fitted bodice and flowing skirt. I eyed it uncertainly.
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” I said. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to fit into that one anymore.”
“Just try it on, Mommy,” Renni insisted.
Turned out, it did fit, and I stared at myself in the mirror, feeling a small hint of nostalgia. I actually looked pretty good and was starting to feel it, too. Half an hour later, our doorbell rang and Renni ran straight through to the living room.
“Come on, Mommy,” she called. “He’s here.”
I slipped on my black wedges, grabbed my purse, and headed for the door. I opened it to find Sam standing on my threshold with a small bunch of flowers in his hand.
“Flowers?” I said, touched by the gesture.
Sam smiled. “These are for Renni,” he said, bending down and offering her the small bouquet.
Renni’s face brightened instantly and she accepted the flowers with a small blush on her face. “What do you say, honey?” I prompted her.
“Thank you,” she said, suddenly quiet.
“You’re welcome,” Sam replied. “And may I say, you’re looking beautiful this evening, Renni.” Then he straightened and turned his gaze to me. “As do you, Mia.”
He reached inside his coat and produced a single long stemmed red rose, which he offered to me. “A rose for a rose,” he said.
“Thank you, Sam,” I smiled appreciatively. “It’s beautiful.”
He led us to his pick up and helped both Renni and I into our seats. Then we started the drive to the restaurant.
“So tell me, Renni,” Sam asked. “Do you like pizza?”
“I love pizza,” she nodded enthusiastically.
“Fantastic,” Sam said. “Then we’re headed to the right place.”
The restaurant he had picked was a nice place, nestled in the middle of the city. It was Italian Spanish fusion and they had a lot of different things for kids. Renni was given a special coloring book when we walked in, as well as a puzzle sheet to complete. I could tell that she liked the place instantly.
The booths were wide and spacious with enough room for Renni to spread out with her things and work on the puzzles. I watched as Sam spent half the night helping her get through the paper mazes and color the animals in the book she had been given. The food was delicious, and I could see what a huge effort Sam was making with Renni. It was obvious that she was having a blast.
Sam and I spoke in brief strokes between conversations with Renni, but our connection was mostly built on across the table glances and smiles that were so charged with chemistry that it caught me off guard at first.
“Mommy?” Renni said, after she ha
d polished off her mini pizza.
“Yes, darling?”
“Can I have ice cream?”
“You sure can,” Sam replied before I could. “They have an ice cream corner over there. You can custom make your ice cream. You can put anything on top of it.”
“Really?” She looked excited.
“Yup,” he assured her.
“Can I, Mommy?”
I laughed. “Alright,” I said. “One scoop please, but you can have as many toppings as you like.”
“Yea!” Renni said, clapping her hands together.
“Go crazy,” Sam encouraged.
We found ourselves alone for the first time that night. I glanced over at Sam to find him looking straight at me with his hazel eyes burning brightly.
“Did I mention how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked directly.
I smiled and tried to contain my own blush. “You did,” I said.
“Well, I meant it.”
“I would hope so.”
“You’re doing a great job with her, you know,” Sam said after a moment. “She’s a great kid.”
I felt my heart melt at his words. It was the nicest compliment he could have given me. “Thank you, Sam. That’s really great to hear. Especially because half the time I think I’m screwing it up.”
“You’re not,” he said immediately. “She’s well mannered, polite, and cute as a button. I mean, seriously…she’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have her,” I said fondly.
“You must have been very young when you had Renni?”
“I was twenty-three,” I admitted. “It was…a surprise, but it was the best kind of surprise.”
He smiled. “It must have been difficult, though?”
“It was,” I nodded. “Nothing prepares you for the chaos of being a parent. It doesn’t matter how prepared you are or how much you’ve learned. It’s a hard all the same. But I wasn’t alone. Not at first, anyway.”
Sam was about to ask me another question when Renni ran back up to our table with a big cup covered in a plethora of different toppings.
“Renni!” I said in shock.
“You said I could have any amount of toppings,” she said, giving me a big smile.
Sam put his hand on mine. “It’s okay,” he said. “Look at how happy she is.”
I sighed and shook my head but I couldn’t help smiling, too. We drove home talking about ice cream and how much better the world was with it.
“Peanut butter,” Sam said. “That’s my favorite. But I have a soft spot for salted caramel, too.”
“Both good flavors,” I agreed. “But I’m a sucker for mint chocolate chip.”
“But the best one is chocolate chocolate chip,” Renni insisted. “With chocolate sauce and chocolate-covered nuts.”
Sam glanced at me. “So Renni’s not a fan of chocolate, then?”
Renni giggled loudly and the sound made my heart feel a little lighter. It was nice to see her enjoy herself so thoroughly. She had missed having these kinds of outings with her father, at least ones that she could remember, and it was a new experience for her.
When we got home, Sam walked Renni and me to the door. I started to feel a little nervous again, unsure of whether or not he expected an invitation inside. But Sam saved me from my dilemma like a true gentleman.
“I want to thank you ladies for a wonderful night,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve had this much fun in ages.”
He bent down and kissed Renni on the cheek. Then he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, too. It was very chaste and gentlemanly, and I wondered for a moment why I had ever thought he might be immature.
“Goodnight,” he said.
“Sweet dreams, Sam,” Renni said, waving to him as he walked away.
We waited till he had driven off, and then I led Renni inside and shut the door.
“That was the best date ever!” she said emphatically. “Don’t you think so, Mommy?”
I smiled and nodded. “It really was,” I said, twirling Sam’s beautiful red rose in my hand as I led Renni to bed.
Chapter Nineteen
Sam
Jackson was wiping down the counter of the bar. There were a couple of stragglers playing pool in the corner and another couple sipping beers near the dance floor. Apart from that, however, the place was practically empty, and I wondered again how Jackson was keeping the bar afloat.
“Maybe you should bring in some live entertainment every now and again?” I suggested. “That way you’d get the really young crowd in here.”
“I already do,” Jackson replied, somewhat defensively.
I smiled. “I’m just saying, we need to think of ways to keep the bar running.”
“The bar is running fine. We even made a profit last month.”
“You did?” I said, unable to conceal my surprise.
“Oh ye of little faith.”
I laughed. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just that things have seemed pretty…low key around here lately.”
Was it my imagination or did Jackson purposefully avoid meeting my eyes? I wondered. The action reminded me of the money he had been trying to conceal from me the other day. If those were bar profits, then I would have expected him to throw it in my face.
“The money’s coming in,” Jackson smiled. “How was your date with the MILF by the way?”
I knew he was changing the subject, but I was ready to talk about something else, too. “It was surprisingly amazing,” I said. “And, can we please start calling her Mia?”
He rolled his eyes. “Did you bang her?”
“Dude,” I said. “Her kid was with us.”
He stopped cleaning the glass in his hands. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“She brought her kid along on the date?”
“It was my idea,” I admitted.
“Why on earth would it be your idea?” Jackson demanded, as though he had no idea who I was anymore.
“Because she was dangerously close to turning me down,” I said. “I had to make an offer she couldn’t refuse.”
“Would it have been such a big deal if she had turned you down?” he asked. “I mean, you already slept with her.”
“That’s not the fucking point,” I said, annoyed with his tone. “I really wanted to take her out.”
Jackson raised his eyebrows. “Ah… I see.”
“You see what?” I demanded.
“She was about to turn you down, so that made it a challenge for you,” Jackson said smugly, looking comfortable once again. “You wore her down and now you have the satisfaction of knowing you can get any woman you want – am I right?”
“Sometimes I forget what a big prick you can be,” I said, shaking my head at him.
“What?” he asked defensively. “You’re telling me you’re genuinely interested in this woman? Despite the fact that’s she’s got baggage?”
“Don’t we all have baggage?” I said. “I have a mother who abandoned me and my brothers when I was a kid, only to materialize fifteen years later with this crazy story about how she was trying to protect us from the man who was trying to kill her. That doesn’t sound like baggage to you?”
Jackson paused for a moment. “Man, you’re getting soft.”
“I am not,” I said, feeling compelled to defend myself.
“Come on, Sam,” he said. “You can’t deny this is a departure for you. Since when have you ever taken a woman to dinner? And since when have you described an encounter with a woman as successful if it didn’t include sex?”
“It’s more than just sex with Mia, though,” I said, trying to explain myself. “It’s…”
“Yeah?” he prompted when I trailed off.
“I don’t know… I like talking to her,” I said, aware of how alien the words sounded on my tongue.
Jackson gave me an ironic smile. “I never thought this would happen.”
“Nothing is happening,” I said qu
ickly. “I had one date with her – that’s all.”
“And, are you planning on seeing her again?” he wanted to know.
“Yeah, if she’s agree to go out with me again,” I nodded. “I would actually want a second date.”
“Will this date include her daughter?”
“I wouldn’t mind if it did,” I said honestly.
“Wow,” he said, shaking his head at me. “This is a real 360.”
“It’s 180, you moron,” I said, rolling my eyes. “A 360 would mean I was back in the same place I started out.”
“Right, whatever…that’s what I meant,” Jackson said.
The couple by the dance floor got up and walked out of the bar, leaving us a little emptier than when we started. I watched them leave. They were a young couple. The guy was of average height and medium build. He had a tattoo sleeve and a piercing in his left eyebrow. The girl was petite and fine boned with bright blue hair cropped short.
I noticed how his hand stayed on the small of her back the whole way they walked to the door. I noticed how she walked just beside him, brushing her hands against him when she could. It was a silent message to the world: we are together and we want you all to know it.
I had never noticed the subtle nuances of couples before – I had never been interested enough to notice. But now that I did, I could see the comfort in it.
“What are you looking at?” Jackson asked.
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
“She was hot,” Jackson nodded, misinterpreting my curiosity in the couple. “I don’t blame you.”
“I wasn’t checking her out,” I said.
“Yeah,” he nodded, shooting me a wink. “Sure thing.”
I sighed, but refrained from correcting him. What would be the point? Jackson would believe what he wanted to believe. I decided to just leave it. I heard the sound of the door open, and I craned my neck to the side to see who it was.
“New customers,” Jackson said happily.
The woman that walked in was dressed nicely in a dark brown suit and white blouse. She had blonde hair that was tied back and a strict, no nonsense look about her.
“Since you’re all hung up on Mia,” Jackson said. “You won’t mind if I hit that, right?”
