It took days before the Knights began to learn of the rumors sweeping across the land, and in that time, the witches burned outside the Knight’s Order strongholds, on display for them to see. It wasn’t until I caught wind of what Callaghan had done that I emerged and tried to reach him, yet was turned away with every attempt. Abused by his men, who refused to even listen to me, I started to lose hope.
On my last attempt to reach him, Callaghan himself watched me from high above the gates of his protected stronghold as I waited, never gaining an audience. The idiot had brokered a deal with the druids, a race full of zealots who wanted the Knight’s Order to suffer for removing them from Ireland. I shouted for him and yet he stared down at me with loathing in his eyes, a burning thing that made fear sting against my throat as his Knights pushed and shunned me, forcing me to slip in the mud as he turned away, ignoring my pleas.
Rumors of his loss reached my ears, and I cried for the child he’d allowed them to murder. The druids would pay for their deeds, but the need to comfort him in his darkest hour outweighed the need to avenge. When they came and took the imposter Jacques from the stronghold, I watched from afar as more and more were rounded up and captured, while Callaghan and his men hid in the shadows around them.
The day they burned, I was in the audience with the intention of warning Callaghan of what was coming and why. He had to know why the druids had done it, and that my hand in it hadn’t been poisonous as what was unfurling around us. Dominos had been stacked, pushed into motion by everyone who feared my returning to power. Maybe I had deserved it, for after all, wherever I was, war broke out.
In the crowd, I watched him as he glared at me from beneath his hood. The darkness in his heavy stare made my heart race as I slowly backed away from him. He followed me, never increasing his speed as I rounded the bend in the road and turned back around, staring into his murderous gaze while his men closed in around me.
He screamed, his anger palpable as his grief washed through him, crashing into me as I fought to bring my powers to me, to defend myself against the murderous emotions I felt from him. The skies cracked loudly above us as lightning crashed overhead, striking the ground close to where we stood. My hair whipped against my face as his men fully surrounded us. I stepped closer, my hands out palms up as I fought to tell him what had been done and what I carried within me. That he’d made a deal with the druids that had never needed to be forged, but my foot tripped on a wet rock, and I slipped forward. Pain ripped through me as I stared between us, where his blade was embedded into my middle.
“My baby,” I whispered. A misstep, caused by the Gods, had taken another life from me. Another child. Another chance at love that would be ripped away from me too soon. Callaghan spoke, but I was beyond hearing him as the loss of the son I’d already started to love turned into hatred.
They would take me to a cave that was placed on six connecting leylines. It was a place where Gods entered to weaken, to begin the eternal slumber, undisturbed. For a year, they’d taken turns weakening me for crimes they thought I had committed. I didn’t blame them; after all, I was their monster as much as they were mine. I wasn’t what they expected me to come back as, and they’d never intended for me to survive this rebirth, and we all knew it. They wanted to save me, to protect me from coming back with war in my veins. For, as long as War was a part of me, I’d spread it like the rider of the apocalypse. That was something even the Gods themselves feared and wouldn’t let survive. So they drained me and pushed me back into the cauldron, but this time, this time they took parts of me away until I wasn’t me anymore. You can’t take parts of yourself away to fit into what is accepted, but they had no idea of the monster they would create by doing so.
Chapter 49
Erie/Mórrígan
I heard his sharp intake of breath and turned over in bed, staring at the wide blue eyes that took in my disarray of blood and nakedness. I smiled, rolling onto him as I stared down into his shocked, pretty blue eyes.
“My men?” he demanded as his hands encircled my waist.
“Alive, Arthur’s Knights weren’t so lucky.”
“How long have you fucking known?” he demanded.
“That I am the Mórrígan?” I asked, and at his nod of confirmation, I smirked. “Since the day you picked me up off of the floor in that shitty little compound. The moment you brought me back with your soft touches and pretty whispered songs that we used to know from a land long ago,” I uttered thickly. “Memories were a lot harder to understand for a long time though. I still struggle to remember things, but then you tried to erase who I am from my mind, you thought to make me weak. I played your game, of course, I needed time to heal, time without you watching me. I was weak, and those memories, they were so fucking fractured that it was hard to tell which were real, and which weren’t. You took my pieces from me, and then you threw me to the wolves that we had banned from Ireland, together. You knew who I was, and they knew as well after a time, but nobody cared enough to tell me who I was. You eradicated the parts of me that you assumed made me evil, and then replaced them with humanity in this pretty little shell. You thought to make me more human, and you shouldn’t have touched what I was.”
“I wanted to protect you from the Gods who hunted you,” he seethed as his hand lifted, cupping my cheek. “Did you think I didn’t see them watching us, hunting you down every time the court moved? I knew what you were, so I brought you back weaker each time until you could stand in a world without reigning fire and hell upon it. I didn’t touch who you were, Erie, you evolved.”
“Did I?” I laughed as I stared down at him with a mixture of love and hatred at what he had tried to do to me, to us. “You were content to let me live a lie, to allow me to believe I had been created in a cauldron. You thought to make me be this weak being who cowers before you, stuck in a situation that you created, and why? Because you fucked up? It sure in the hell wasn’t because of me that we ended up right here, Mason, or shall we go back to Lugh now? Which one do you prefer I call you this time, lover?”
“Names are irrelevant; you taught me that,” he growled as he rolled us and rested his head against mine. “I won’t let them take you from me again. I won’t be without you any longer, Erie. I have loved you from the first moment you entered my world and looked right into my soul as if you knew who and what I would become to you. I waited for you, and then I did everything within my power to keep you safe and hidden from the Gods and Goddesses that hunted your newly reborn soul. It took you longer this time, and every time I tried to bring you to the surface, you dove in deeper. I tried, Erie, I tried to get you to come out, and you wouldn’t. The world didn’t just stop when you died; we went to fucking war. We hid from what you did, from those who still hunt us because of it.”
I closed my eyes against his excuses as he lowered his lips to mine, kissing me with feather-soft kisses meant to pull me out of my mind. “Kiss me, Erie. Come back to me,” he urged. “Show me how much you need me, bare bones. No more holding back from us.”
I opened my eyes, staring up at him before I rolled us again, cradling his mouth as I kissed him hard. I felt him growing beneath me, already craving me as I rocked my hips against his, and he entered me hard and fast. My arm moved, palm up as I whispered a spell against his lips, and I smiled against him as I stabbed the blades into his chest. His eyes widened as I lifted from his chest, staring down at him.
“You should have left me dead,” I uttered as my power ignited, causing my hair to rise as the room pulsed with it. He hissed in pain as the God bolt held him immobile, unable to change into the beast that now peered up at me. I lifted my hand again, catching the other blade I’d taken from Zahruk when he’d kissed me. “Speaking of bare bones, shall we look at yours?” I asked as I leaned over, trailing the blade over his flesh. “You forgot to neuter me, asshole. I’m guessing you thought I would be weak enough with only half of the magic I held, but I never showed you what I ac
tually held within me, did I? Neither one of you knew just how powerful I was when I wanted or needed to be. Some monsters shouldn’t be brought back from the grave, ever. You’re lucky I enjoy you both and these cocks so much…” I rolled my hips and moaned as my eyes lit up again with what he made me feel. “But I have witches to kill, druids to slaughter, and your father’s cock to rip off and fuck him with. Shall we take a raincheck?” His eyes began to glow bright blue and I smiled down at him with a languid gaze. “I see you in there, my King of beasts,” I laughed as I leaned over, kissing him. “Mmm, home never tasted as good as it does when it bleeds for me,” I whispered as I lifted from him. “I do like you both together; it’s like a two-for-one deal, isn’t it?”
“Don’t you fucking do it, Erie,” he hissed.
“Erie isn’t here anymore. Remember, you didn’t want me to be her. There’s only so much time to be wasted riding your cock when so much is happening outside of these walls. And what is it that you fear me doing? Killing your father, or your wife? One tortured me, fucking whores in front of the child I was. You forced me to come back, and then you allowed me to be abused, knowing it would take decades for me to even remember who I was, if I ever did. No, he will die for defiling me. No one has ever defiled my flesh and lived to tell of it, and he will be no different. Your wife, you can keep her. But know that she helped them beat me because your father told her who I was and what he assumed I had done.”
“You need to stay here, you’re pregnant.”
“Am I? Because I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant, yet. I just remember how I smelled carrying our child, Lugh. I remember how it felt to touch him as he grew within me. The memories in my mind didn’t just stop every time I electrocuted myself to kick you out of it. You just couldn’t see them playing out, or read my mind, for a time. It was time I needed without you eavesdropping into my thoughts. You played me for a fool; you think I wasn’t aware of who I was this entire time you’ve been trying to fuck me? I can be Erie if you want me to be her, as I technically am her now. There is no way to remove her. I can continue to give you her eternal thought process if you so desire it, because she is who I have become in this lifetime. But then, I also knew you read my thoughts because you’ve always been able to, but then I also fried your connection with the whole clock-in-the-bath thing, didn’t I? You wanted me, and here I am. Naughty boys, I don’t think you remember who the fuck you just challenged to war, but I do. You made me weak, but even weak, I am still the Goddess of War, and plus, I just took back the throne to Hell, which makes me its Queen for now.” I rocked on his cock, staring into his Nordic blue eyes.
“Remember, you wanted me back. I didn’t want to come back, not to this time. Don’t worry; I’ll save our people. I’ll even save the Fomorians you hide within them. Such as the ones pacing outside the door because they don’t hear my pussy getting off. Fuck it, one more time for the road?” I hissed before I moaned loudly, not even having to fake it as he grew, trying to become stuck in my depths. “Wrong body, remember, I can take you both at your fullest length and width. Give it to me, give it to me, Balor, I’ve missed that magical cock,” I uttered, riding him until I threw my head back and gasped as I exploded. The windows shattered as lightning struck outside, close to the open window. The scent of ozone and burning wood filled the room and smiled down at him, ripping out the god bolt, knowing I only needed a few minutes’ head start to get away.
I crawled off of him, staring at his open chest as his heart raced. I loved them both, but if they thought this was how they got me back, they were fucking wrong. I wasn’t some weak ass Goddess who needed them to save me or protect me. I was one-third of the Mórrígan, and my sisters awaited me outside the gates of the compound. If the witches thought they had a chance, all the better. I’d missed war. I glamoured on a white war dress with gold armlets, fashioning on my gown as I turned to look back at the men I loved. My hair was done up in war braids as I stared at my men and wiggled my brows.
“You’re the war that I cannot win, Erie,” he uttered as he watched me with a longing that ached in my chest.
“I know, but you should have known better than to play games with me. Don’t ever, ever think you’re capable of it, or think you’re even on the same level as me again. You’re not capable of winning against me. Did you never wonder why the shadows betrayed you, Mason? It’s because they belong to me. They serve me at my bidding because I am born of the darkness. I may have worn a mask long enough to forget who and what I am beneath it, but make no mistake: I am War. Eventually, every mask has to come off, and when it does, the monster beneath it is revealed. And I do understand that I owe you an apology for what happened in the past, so like, go unfuck yourself or something, whatever you want to do. You know, like, I’m not really sorry, because it was war, but I did love you in my own way.”
“You’re a fucking psychopath, Erie.”
“I prefer creative genius. And I told you, Erie isn’t here anymore. You wanted me, and here I am. Bare fucking bones. This is me, no mask to shield you from what I am this time. You broke the wrong parts of me, forgot that, even without magic, I have claws. I am not violence or malice; I am the end result of what you and yours have forced me to become. But don’t worry, all this blood that I have shed brings out your eyes and makes them look really pretty,” I said hoarsely as I watched his pupils dilate from pain. “You should use this time to consider where we go from here. I do want your son, and I will get him one way or another. I am owed for what you took from me.
“You, husband, you stormed my lands and murdered my people. It was war, and we were brutal to each other as we waged it. You didn’t do that back then unless you were willing to pay the price for losing, and you did. Had it been me, you’d have placed my head on your spike and carried me around as your proof of skill. You wanted me kneeling at your feet sucking your cock to show off your mad war skills. I buried your children and your wife in a tomb fit for the Gods; I know because it’s my tomb where they rest eternally. I honored them and couldn’t tell you, because had I made it known, others would have waged war against us. I didn’t have a choice because you took that one away from me. I conquered you, and as the victor, your line paid the price as was owed to the families of my people who you murdered. I didn’t ask for you to wage war against me, I just fucking ended it. I do not enjoy slaughtering women or children, but to keep my crown and my people safe, I do not hesitate to end it by any means necessary.
“I didn’t come looking for a war; I simply slipped into a position to wage the one that raged around me. You knew the cost if you lost it, and you were willing to pay. It is not my fault that I loved you. I didn’t understand what love was, or the price it took to keep it. You lived; did you never wonder how you did? I gave you part of my soul to keep you immortal, Balor. I gave you my protection, at the cost of weakening myself to you and the Gods. I didn’t tell the humans how to kill me. They found out what I had done to protect you, and when I weakened with your son growing within my womb, the Gods came for me. I would never fall to mortals. I am a Goddess of War. How you thought they could take me down even if I had allowed it is beyond me. You did the one thing that the Gods feared most, you placed your son into my womb, and they did what they do best. They murdered us to protect this pathetic rock that they love to torture so much. And you, you fucked up by assuming I hadn’t evolved.
“You, you made a deal with the druids. The druids, Mason,” I hissed angrily. “They were expelled from our world, from Ireland, because their reach and greed were endless. They wanted everyone to bow to them and their growing power. You removed them from my lands, by force. Why would you ever ask them for anything after that? You barred me from entering your stronghold, protecting your precious wife, which meant I couldn’t reach you either. I waited outside, begging you to come to me. You thought I merely craved that cock, when in reality, I was trying to save you from the pain you would endure if you listened to them. Yet you
ended up facing it anyway, because you refused to hear me. I was trying to save your son’s life to protect you from the pain. You killed me because you thought you’d lost him because of me. Your oh, so great sacrifice. A life for a life from the cauldron is what they told you, isn’t it? One life sacrificed to save them all,” I growled as I sat on the bed beside him, staring into the glowing blue eyes that made my blood run hot with arousal. “I’ve never been fully alive, gentlemen. The cauldron isn’t soul magic, and that is what they used, wasn’t it? Soul magic is death magic, and I’d have had to have a fucking soul for that to work. Goddesses are not born with a soul; we earn them. The half of me I pushed into you, Balor, took me over thousands of years to earn and is the greatest gift a Goddess can part to a lover.
“When I found you, Callaghan, it was because you held that half of me inside of you. I searched for my soul, for my home, because I knew what might happen, and I didn’t want to lose you. So I placed a beacon into you so that I could find you if the unthinkable came to pass. But you were so worried about what you assumed I was doing that you failed to see I was only removing the druids. I was, until you turned against me. Both of you turned against me, and I couldn’t stop the curses that were placed, because you refused to listen. That is why the druids now die,” I laughed as he shook his head. “They messed with my lovers and hurt them both. So they will pay for it in their blood. You don’t hurt those I love, or me, and live to tell of it. What kind of a wife would I be if I let that slide? Not to mention, serious street cred that I’d have to fix,” I shrugged.
“I’m also the Goddess of Battles, which you seem to forget. I knew my future before you did. I planned for everything except you abandoning me to the druids without my memories being present. You left me exposed, knowing that I was weakened to the point that my mind wouldn’t grasp who or what I was. You left me to be abused, and I’m not sure I can forgive you for that one yet. Anywho, I have shit to fuck up, a world to set on fire, and payback that can’t wait much longer,” I laughed as I leaned over, kissing his lips. “I did love you, both of you. Admittedly, I wasn’t a good person, but I was trying to be. I was trying to love you, to be with you, and to have a family. Now, I have to go hurt those who want to ruin that. I will be back, so be good boys while I am away?” I kissed his cheek as I stood up. “If I come back, be ready to sire my son. You know, the one you think is waiting at the gates to slip into this world? You and I, we create war. The riders are created, not waiting inside any walls that can or will crumble. Each God or Goddess can breed a rider; it just depends on their time to be born.”
If She's Wicked Page 40
