Startled, Pete raised an eyebrow. Had he been whistling? He didn’t know what to say, so he settled on figuring out what the old man wanted.
“Atherton, is there something you need? I should probably get back to work.” Work…right. He hadn’t been doing much of that lately; his thoughts always wandering off to a small shanty just outside of town. No matter how many times he forced himself to focus on his task, he couldn’t shake Pati, her smile, her laugh, her glimmering green eyes, from his mind. She’d become a part of him, the best part.
And she’s going to take that part with her when she leaves.
No, he couldn’t think about that. Not right now when Atherton’s penetrating gaze was raking over him.
“When you gonna talk to that girl and get her to stay?” The old man’s question seemed to come from the left, chucking Pete in the chin.
“Who?”
Atherton clicked his tongue. “If there’s ‘nother lovely, Irish lass in town, I haven’t met her yet.”
Pete sighed, closing his eyes against what he knew was coming: a heaping helping of truth.
“You know I can’t make her stay if she doesn’t want to,” he said, the pain of his words cutting pieces from his heart. “She only came to Blessings to find her father. They are together now. She’s probably going to be on the next supplies wagon out of here.”
The man across from his desk crossed one long leg over the other, and began tugging at his wiry beard, as if in thought. As Pete watched, Atherton’s eyes narrowed, then widened, then narrowed, then widened—what was going on in his head?
Unable to take the silence, Pete stood. “Is that all you wanted to know?” He knew his voice was unnecessarily sharp, but with everything roiling within him, he couldn’t cut the anguish out of his tone. More than anything, he wanted Pati to stay, to allow him to court her, then to marry her. He’d do everything in his limited power to keep her safe, to make her happy, to build a life with her.
But could he do it? Since getting shot, his confidence bled away, leaving nothing but the husk of a man who couldn’t even earn the respect of his own society friends. They’d taken one look at his wounds and turned their noses up at him. He’d lost so much in a war meant to benefit the country they all loved. But instead of the accolades and a warm welcome, he received nothing but sneers, gasps of horror, and closed doors.
With nothing for him in Baltimore, he headed west, determined to do whatever he could to help tame the territory his sacrifices had won them during the war. He’d stumbled upon Blessings, Atherton hired him without much ado, and now he was more determined than ever to make something of himself.
But what could he be without Pati? With shaking hands, he couldn’t really protect her, could he? What kind of man couldn’t draw his own guns without making them clatter in his palm?
“Son,” Atherton said, his voice steady and heavier than Pete had ever heard it. “What is holdin’ you back from makin’ that sweet girl your woman?”
Just tell him, make him see that you aren’t worthy of Pati, even if she did care for him—which was impossible. A memory of burning green eyes and the taste of sweet heaven made the muscles of his belly tighten. They’d shared a kiss, he’d held her in his arms…could there be something there? Did Pati feel as he did?
“She kissed him…” Again, Pati’s words, spoken in her sultry, lilting voice, seemed to slide through his mind. He shuddered.
“Pete?” Atherton uncrossed his legs and stood, pinning Pete with penetrating eyes. “When I hired you, it wasn’t because you were some high falutin’ army captain. It was because I saw a man of strength, loyalty, and dogged determination. No matter what gets in your way, you’ll do what needs to get done.”
Pleased by the older man’s words, Pete felt his chest swell with pride. “Thank you.”
Atherton held up a hand. “I ain’t done yet, Son.”
Pete crossed his arms, fortifying himself against whatever the man was about to throw at him.
“You’re a man of focus and dedication…so why is one slip of a woman capable of winnin’ against you?”
She’d won against him, all right. She’d won his heart handily.
“I can’t be what she needs,” he answered honestly.
The old man rolled his eyes. “She’s not lookin’ to marry Jesus!”
“I can’t protect her! California—Blessings—is growing. With more people, there’ll be more dangers. Someone robbed her, Atherton. What’s to stop that same man—or any man—from trying to hurt her? I can’t stop them, I can’t stop any of them. I’m not even fit to be your mine security officer.” There. He’d said his piece. And now Atherton would send him on his way. Good riddance. Then Pete could move on to another town where Pati hadn’t left her mark everywhere he looked. The thought made his blood turn to ice.
“And why not?” Atherton asked, his eyebrows arched high over clear hazel eyes.
Pete pointed to his scar. “When I got wounded…something…happened to me. I can’t hold a gun without it making my hands shake. How am I supposed to protect Pati, to make her feel safe with me, if I can’t even aim my guns?” He felt like a lowly worm, slinking along through the mud.
“How often does it happen?”
Unable to meet the old man’s gaze, Pete looked down at the papers scattered over his desk. “Every time I touch the gun handle, a tremor starts in my wrists, then moves down into my fingers.”
“When’s the last time that happened?”
Surprised at Atherton’s question, Pete paused in answering. “The last time I drew my weapons was when we thought someone was in Pati’s shanty. Before that, it was when someone robbed her shop.”
Atherton cocked his head and hummed. “And did your hands shake then?”
Pete opened his mouth to answer but then slammed it shut.
No. His hands had been as steady as his Colts were deadly.
“No…they didn’t,” he finally replied, awe thickening his voice. He couldn’t explain it, couldn’t wrap his mind around how it was possible. But for Pati…to protect her, he’d done something he thought impossible.
But was that enough?
“But, Da, why can’t you stay here? Atherton said you could make fifteen dollars per ounce of gold. Isn’t that enough of a fortune for you?” Exasperated, she stared down at her da who was using the reflection in the creek water to shave the scraggly, red beard from his cheeks.
Rinsing the straight razor in the water, he shook it off and stood, turning to meet her gaze.
“Precious, it wasn’t the fortune that brought me out here, it was…well, it was the sadness.”
Pati knew what he meant; it was part guilt, part grief that had made her follow after him.
“But you’re here now, there’s nothing left in Cork. You and I, we can build a new life here, in Blessings.” When she’d first stepped foot in the little mining town, she’d thought it a muddy hole in the middle of nothing. But over the months, she’d discovered that Blessings was a hidden gem, one that was worth more than all the gold in the mines.
And Pete was just as much a treasure to her as anything she’d ever held dear. But it wasn’t the same for him. If his silence and distance over the last week was any indication, he’d thought better of being her friend, and was happy to leave her in her da’s care. His lack of interest in her hurt more than she thought it could, and she missed him like the trees missed the rain in the heat of the summer.
“I dunno, Precious. I’m tired,” her da said, sighing, and Pati knew the weight he carried.
“Da, I’ve followed you across the world. I’ve experienced hardships I never thought I’d survive, but I did. I’ve come this far—we’ve come this far. Ma is gone to Heaven, we can start over.” The pain of losing her ma was still fresh; Pati doubted it would ever go away. The grief was still sharp, but having her da with her dulled the edge a bit.
But not as much as Pete has…when she was with Pete, she didn’t think about all she’d lost, t
he thought him, his character and grudging kindness. She thought about how it felt to be held against him, in the warmth and strength of his arms. She thought about what it would be like to stay in Blessings, and create a home—a true home—for herself…with Pete.
“Pati, I don’t know if I can be a miner. I tried it, it wasn’t as easy as toil as I assumed. I spent nearly four weeks in those mines, diggin’ until my arms gave out, and I didn’t find more than a thimble full of gold dust.”
Pati figured that was a possibility. She’d been in Blessings for almost two months, and she hadn’t heard of anyone striking a gold vein. There’d been plenty of people in and out of the mercantile, visiting with Atherton to exchange their gold score for cash—she’d been there often enough to see it with her own eyes—but none of them made more than thirty or forty dollars. Thirty of forty dollars was nothing to sneeze at, she could live on that much money for months.
“Ye don’t have ta come with me, ye know,” her da said, and Pati’s gaze flew up to meet his.
“Of course, I do. We’re family. You’re all I have left.”
“What about that young man…Ben? He seemed like a kind boy, if a little simple.”
Confused, Pati asked, “What do you mean? Ben is a friend, only that. He’s been welcoming—which is something I can’t say about everyone in Blessings.” Her thoughts now on Pete, where they always seemed to end up, Pati felt heat bloom in her chest. It was quickly doused by the fact that Pete had washed his hands of her. Like she meant nothing to him.
So why stay?
“Ye’ve always been picky,” her da said, laughing. “Yer ma was just as picky, and lookit who she ended up with.” His laugh died, but a sweet look of happy memories warmed her da’s eyes.
“I’m not picky.” Now that her da was done shaving, she needed to get back to work, and so she collected the basket of wash she’d finished and started down the trail to the shanty. A shanty that was much too small for two people.
Her da caught up to her quickly. “Aye, ye’re picky.”
She lifted her chin. “Nay, I’m not.”
“Fine then, prove yer old man wrong. Tell me, what do ye want in a husband?”
Surprised by his blatant question, she halted, the basket in her hand snagging on her skirt.
“Well,” she began, trying her hardest not to think of Pete as she answered. “He’d have to be kind, thoughtful, compassionate. Tall, strong…broad of shoulder…” No, don’t think of Pete! “He’d have hair as black as a raven’s wing, eyes as black as midnight, and a voice deeper than the deepest gold mine.”
Pete. She wanted to marry Pete. But it wasn’t meant to be. The man didn’t feel the same, and her body ached with the weight of her sorrow.
Swallowing the ball of unspent tears, Pati forced a smile. She turned and continued down the trail, her da following behind.
“Sounds rather particular,” her da said to her ramrod straight back, amusement ringing in his voice.
She shrugged. “You asked, I answered.” They reached the shanty and Pati deposited the basket, reaching for the clothes pins so she could hang the wet clothes out to dry.
Her da, proving himself a nuisance, didn’t help her hang the clothes, but rather sat on the chair outside the door and stared at her. What was he thinking?
Pati finish hanging the wash, which would dry in an hour in the dry California heat. “Da, I haven’t been to my shop in a week. I need to work. If you’re determined to go back to Ireland, we’re going to need the money my mending will provide.”
Her da waved her off. “Go on, then, but don’t be worrin’ about me, Precious. I can manage on me own.”
Suddenly weary, Pati sighed. “Fine. I’ll be back to make supper just after sunset.”
As she walked the familiar trail behind the town to the small cabin on the other side, she couldn’t help but wonder if Pete would stop by to see her. Her heart leapt at the thought.
Chapter 19
Two days passed since his revelation, and Pete still didn’t know what to do about it. He’d seen Pati in town, had fought the urge to go see her at her shop, and thought about her every minute he was awake. Dreaming about her when he was asleep. He was thankful that his nightmares of the war were usurped by tantalizing dreams of kissing Pati, but those dreams only succeeded in invading his waking mind when he was trying to work.
It made getting anything done nearly impossible.
Focus!
Ben was standing in front of his desk, his face pinched into a frown.
“I told you, Ben, with Travis laid up with that broken foot, you need to take the later shift.”
Ben’s scowl deepened. “But you know I want to go see Pati tonight.” Yes, he did, which was one reason he’d chosen Ben for that particular shift. He wanted to think himself a better man than that, but when it came to Pati, he couldn’t make himself behave. He wasn’t blind. He knew Ben had tender feelings for Pati, but Pati showed no interest in the foolhardy Benjamin—much to Pati’s credit. Too bad Ben couldn’t see the truth with his own eyes.
“I’m sorry, Ben, but if you want to keep working for Winslet Mining, Co., you need to work when and where you’re needed.” Pete did his best to sound as unaffected as possible. He didn’t dislike Ben—shoot, Ben reminded him of himself when he was younger and foolhardy—but Ben was swiftly becoming a thorn in his side. Especially when it came to keeping him away from Pati.
“I know what this is about! You know how Pati and I feel about each other, and you’re angry that you’re nothing but a lonely cuss with no one to love you but your horse,” Ben growled. Pete met the young man’s gaze unblinkingly. Yes, he knew Ben and Pati had been spending time together and, yes, it pricked at him like nettles in his breeches. But he was the boss, and Ben had better learn his place, lest he lose his tongue.
“You’d better mind your words, boy. You have no idea what you’re talking about, and even less about Miss O’Connor if you think a few kind words means the same as affection.” Pete infused his tone with steel, intending to the remind the whelp who he was talking to. “Now, you do what you’re ordered to do, or you can go. Your choice.”
Ben’s face flamed red, anger burning in his eyes. Pete knew Ben wanted to fight—he resorted to his fists as quickly as a woman resorted to tears—but Ben wasn’t that much a fool. Pete was a head taller, broader, and didn’t hold back when it came to correcting upstarts.
Without a word, Ben spun on his heel and left the security office, headed toward town.
Drained, Pete collapsed into his chair, cradling his head between his hands, over his desk.
The oppressive heat caked him in sweat, which made his shirt stick to his back. Groaning, Pete stood. He could head to the creek, cool himself a bit in the water, then he could get back to work with a clear head.
The sound of boots crunching along the trail made him tense. He didn’t know how much more of Ben he could take in a day, and he certainly didn’t want another visit from Atherton. That man had become quite bothersome, always needling him about Pati, and trying to get him to come to supper with them. He wasn’t a fool, he knew what Atherton was doing, and he’d be damned if he let the old man push Pati into something she didn’t want.
Holding his breath, Pete waited for whoever it was to appear. When he saw a lovely, oval face and flashing green eyes, the breath he was holding escaped in a blast.
“Pati. What brings you out this way?” He did his best to keep his voice even, despite being throttled to his core to see her there.
Pati stepped into the office, her face flush and her lips shaped into a shy smile. He seemed to stand there, staring, waiting for her to speak, as if the next words from those lips could save his life.
“Pete…I haven’t seen you in more than a week. I figured that, well, since we’re friends, I should come and see how you’ve been.” Her sweet voice was like a balm to his soul, filling him with something he didn’t know he’d been missing.
“Is that so?�
� he asked, smiling. With her, smiling came naturally, especially when she smiled back.
Her grin lit up her face, and his heart loped along unsteadily.
“Yes, that’s so. Would you like to go for a walk with me? My da and I found a lovely place down by the creek, and the trail there isn’t so difficult.”
She wanted to spend time with him? He’d take whatever she’d give him.
“Certainly. I have some time.” All the time in the world for her.
They left the security office, but it wasn’t until Pati had lead them to the head of a trail that he realized he’d left his hat behind.
“Wait.” He stopped, and she stopped, too, turning to him with a question in her eyes. “I need to get my hat.” He knew it was silly to try and hide something she’d seen more than once, but he couldn’t help the self-conscious nagging that told him he was hideous, a failed war hero.
Pati snorted, then planted her fists on her hips. “Why? I know you only wear that hat to cover your ear. I’m not a nitwit, Pete. I know it bothers you, but it doesn’t bother me.”
Shocked but not really surprised by her plain speaking, Pete could only stare at her.
“Don’t look so astounded, Payter,” she said, that accent he loved falling from her lips. “Ye seem ta think yerself some kind of beast.”
“Is that what I think?” The flicker of green flames in her eyes lit a fire in him, and he had to fight the overwhelming need to pull her into the nearest copse of trees and kiss her until she promised to stay in Blessings forever.
“Well, ye hide yer face, ye must think somethin’ is wrong with it.” She huffed, annoyance simmering in her expression.
He chuckled, a stunning weightlessness lifting his heart. “Maybe I think I’m a cursed—I’ve been called a magician before. Perhaps I’ve fallen under a spell.”
The annoyance in her gaze disappeared in a flash, scorched to ash by the blaze of her smile.
“Enchanted, are ye?” she asked, dropping her hands from her hips to clasp them in front of her almost shyly.
The Blessed Bride Page 14
