Of course, he shouldn’t be able to put his finger on anything. He shouldn’t even have fingers. While he was at it, he realized that he shouldn’t be realizing any of this.
Am I dead, or what?
He could feel his fingers, and the rest of his body for that matter. His hands brushed the material of his uniform jacket, over the smooth finish of his belt buckle. He hadn’t been wearing it on Veridian III, had he? Where had it come from?
Where am I?
He attempted to take a step forward and was surprised to discover that he could. But where to go, in this unending darkness?
However, the darkness was fading. Shapes began to form around him, color washing over the objects as they acquired [58] substance. He watched a long, polished table with three high-backed chairs slowly coalesce into existence. Tapestries lined stone walls. He turned to see a set of large, wooden double doors.
Memories of this room began to beg for his attention. Simple yet elegant decorations, the quiet, regal atmosphere, all of it beckoned to him. The surroundings conspired to remind him that he had been here before. Many years ago, he and Spock had traveled to a distant world and stood in this very room.
Organia?
Even as the thought echoed in his mind, three indistinct points of light formed over the chairs behind the table. They grew in size, and the illumination became brighter with each passing second. Kirk had to raise his hand to shield his eyes from the glare.
They had taken on human shapes now, the intensely bright light beginning to dim. Facial features emerged, followed by hair and clothing. Finally, the light faded altogether, leaving three elderly gentlemen, dressed in simple robes. Of course, Kirk immediately recognized them: Ayelborne, Claymare, and Trefayne.
“Greetings, Captain Kirk.” It was Ayelborne, the “man” that Kirk remembered as the leader of the group, who had spoken first.
Jim finally found his voice. “Hello. It’s been a long time.”
“For you, perhaps,” the older man replied. “Time is irrelevant to us. However, it is comforting to know that you have not forgotten.”
Kirk actually smiled at that. “Hardly, sir. Our last meeting had a profound and lasting effect on me.”
[59] “So it would seem, Captain,” the man Kirk remembered as Trefayne responded. “It took quite a bit of time for you, as the road your peoples traveled to make peace was a long and difficult one. You can be satisfied that accomplishments you made during your life were instrumental in shaping what finally came to pass. There is still much to be done, but we are hopeful.”
A question formed in Kirk’s mind as confusion over his present situation began to set in.
“Why am I here?” he asked. “The last thing I remember is Veridian III. The bridge fell, and me with it. I remember looking up and seeing Picard, and he told me that we had stopped Soran. But I don’t remember anything after that. What happened?”
Claymare spoke for the first time. “We brought you here from that moment in time. As far as the universe is concerned, the next instant has not occurred yet.” The man smiled and then continued, “The simplest way to explain it would be to say that we are occupying a space between one second and the next.”
This did nothing for Jim’s confusion. “But, why?”
In response, Ayelborne rose from his chair and made his way around the long, polished table, his hands clasped in front of him as he walked.
“We are curious, Captain. Why did you elect to aid Captain Picard, after finally finding peace with yourself? No starships, no duty, simply eternal happiness. Yet, you gave all of that up in order to help Picard. Why?”
“Don’t you know?”
The Organian shook his head as he stopped before Kirk. “We are not mind readers, Captain. We do not know what [60] motivates other beings to decide upon possible courses of action.”
Kirk shrugged, shaking his head as he did so. “There were innocent lives at stake. Millions of lives. I had to do something. It’s a decision I’ve had to make more times than I can remember, and I’d do it again without hesitation. What difference does it make?”
Trefayne raised a hand. “Your actions and inactions do make a difference, Captain, just as they always have. They made a difference at Veridian III. In his first attempt to stop Soran, Picard failed. The Veridian star was destroyed, along with all of the planets and life in that system. As a result, he was swept into the nexus, where he eventually found you. With your help, he was afforded the opportunity to try and stop Soran again. It was only with your assistance that he was able to save those millions of people.”
Claymare nodded in agreement. “Your sense of duty has always been the primary driving force in your life. Duty to others before duty to yourself. You gave up many chances to live in peace and contentment throughout your life in order to serve others. Look back at your accomplishments. What do you see?”
Kirk paused momentarily, gathering his thoughts, before answering, “Just like you said, I was doing my duty. Any Starfleet officer worthy of the uniform would have done the same thing under the circumstances. No, anyone with that kind of moral conviction would have done it.”
“Possibly, James.” Ayelborne smiled slightly.
A flash of light ...
[61] Captain’s Log, Stardate 3135.1
Effective immediately, I resign my commission and relinquish command of this vessel to First Officer Spock, who has been given orders to direct the Enterprise to the nearest starbase. There, a new captain waits to assume command.
“What is this?”
Kirk stood alongside Ayelborne on what he immediately recognized as the upper deck of the Enterprise bridge, but it was an Enterprise from the past. Ayelborne indicated the command well, where a young, very tired looking Captain James Kirk sat in the center chair, a young Mr. Spock at his side.
“That is you. We have traveled back to the early days of your career as captain of the Enterprise.”
Kirk shook his head. “No. That’s not possible. I never made that log entry about my resignation.” He watched as a younger version of himself stood up from the command chair and moved to the turbolift, stopping only momentarily to look back at his first officer.
“Mr. Spock, I’ll be in my quarters if you need me.”
The Vulcan nodded. “Acknowledged, Captain.”
Captain Kirk disappeared into the turbolift, the doors closing behind him. Ayelborne looked at Jim again.
“What we are watching, James, is a telling of how events might have occurred.”
Jim searched his memory, trying to attach some significance to the stardate he had just heard his younger self speak into the log recorder. It only took a moment. His eyes shot up to look at the viewscreen and the pale gold planet [62] depicted on it, his jaw going slack in horrible remembrance.
No.
The Guardian. McCoy and the hypo.
Edith.
Pain he had thought long buried suddenly rushed to the forefront of his consciousness. It felt as though his heart were being wrenched from his chest. Kirk fought for his emotional control, now under assault from memories he had not dared to face in many years. He had fooled himself into thinking he could make peace with himself about this, and now he chastised himself for thinking such a feat was possible.
He was shaking his head furiously. “But, that’s not how it happened. I admit, I was devastated when Edith died, but I realized that her death probably saved billions of lives in the course of history. I remember thinking very seriously about resignation, but I never once made a move to act on that thought.”
Ayelborne smiled. “This was a turning point in your life, James. In the history you remember, your sense of duty overpowered the personal grief that you were feeling. You forced your feelings away, deciding instead to focus on your professional responsibilities, when you could just as easily have ended it all and resigned. We are simply witnessing another way that history might have unfolded.”
Kirk turned to face the bridge turbo
lift doors, but he and Ayelborne weren’t on the bridge anymore. Now, they stood in the corner of what he recognized as his cabin from the old Enterprise. He saw his younger self, lying on the small bunk.
God, those beds really were small back then.
[63] The young Captain Kirk lay with his right arm draped across his face, hiding his eyes. Jim could guess what thoughts drifted through his younger self’s mind.
He turned to his Organian companion. “Now what?”
By way of reply, the door chime sounded. Captain Kirk called out to the door, “Come.”
Leonard McCoy entered the room as the door opened. The older Kirk studied his longtime friend as he was then: blue tunic with lieutenant commander’s stripes; brown hair with none of the gray that would dominate it in later years; the sour expression that had become a trademark of the perpetually disgruntled chief medical officer of the Enterprise.
The doctor made his way, without invitation, to a chair in the corner of the sleeping area. He then proceeded to study his commanding officer and friend with that expression Jim had come to know only too well.
Finally, he spoke. “Spock tells me you’ve resigned your commission.”
The younger Kirk drew his arm from his face. “That’s right.” He continued to stare at the ceiling, avoiding the doctor’s gaze.
McCoy pressed, “You want to tell me why?”
The young captain exhaled audibly. “I’ve decided that I don’t want this life, Bones. I’m tired of losing.”
McCoy frowned. “Losing? Jim, you made a decision that saved uncounted billions of lives and promised us our future, the future as we know it If you had allowed Edith to live, everything we know and understand would be gone. It’s as simple as that. I can only guess what having to make that decision did to you. But what you did was for the greater [64] good. You made a decision and you won, for all of us. Under the circumstances, I think Edith would understand.”
Kirk shook his head. “How many men and women have died since I took command of this ship? I remember each and every one of their names, and I see each of their faces. Some of the most important people in my life are among them, Bones. Sam, Aurelan, Gary. Edith was just the latest addition to a list that’s already too long.”
McCoy’s expression grew thoughtful. “Resigning won’t help them, Jim. It won’t prevent it from happening again.”
Kirk sat up in his bunk. “No, but it will help me. I can’t go on like this, Bones. It simply hurts too much.”
Ayelborne turned to face the older Kirk. “These feelings began when your friend Gary Mitchell died. A small pang of doubt formed, and continued to grow as time went along. Finally, with Edith Keeler’s death, the feelings had grown to such intensity that Captain Kirk decides to abandon starship command and return to Earth, never to journey into space again.”
“Why?” Jim could not bring himself to believe he could ever be capable of just giving in and surrendering so easily.
This can’t be me.
“You simply did not wish to reopen old emotional wounds,” Ayelborne answered him. “You return to your parents’ farm in Iowa and become heavily involved with Agro-Engineering.”
Jim continued to shake his head in disbelief. “What happens to the rest of the crew? Who takes my place as Enterprise captain?”
The Organian began to wander about the cabin. Strangely enough, Jim could see his younger self and McCoy talking, [65] yet he heard no voices. It was like watching a video playback, without benefit of audio.
Ayelborne, however, could be heard most clearly. “A longtime friend of yours, Captain Robert Wesley, takes command of the Enterprise as a personal favor to you that is honored by Starfleet Command. He forgoes a promotion to commodore in order to take the assignment, and things go quite smoothly, for a time.”
The sound of that didn’t comfort Kirk. “Why? What happens?”
Again, the light ...
Captain’s Log, Stardate 5031.8
Chief Engineer Scott temporarily in command. The Enterprise is deep in Romulan space and is surrounded by Romulan warships. We have just received a report from the Romulan commander that Captain Wesley was killed by Mr. Spock, apparently in self-defense. I am at a loss to understand how something like this could have happened, but Dr. McCoy has told me the captain had been suffering from severe emotional stress in recent weeks. At this time, I am standing by, awaiting further information and orders from Mr. Spock.
The weight resting on Montgomery Scott’s shoulders was enormous. He felt utterly helpless: His ship was surrounded by the enemy, waiting to become a prize of the Romulan Praetor; Captain Wesley was dead, apparently at Mr. Spock’s hands; and Spock was now a possible collaborator with the Romulans.
[66] This willna look good in the official log, he understated in a vain attempt to amuse himself.
Kirk and Ayelborne watched as the Scotsman struggled through the duties of command that had been laid upon him. The engineer grappled with his feelings in order to be the emotional rock that his shipmates could look to for confidence.
“The cloaking device,” Kirk remembered. “Starfleet had ordered us to obtain one for study, so Spock and I came up with a plan to steal it from a Romulan ship. We faked my death, and I had McCoy surgically alter me to look like a Romulan. Then, I beamed onto the Romulan ship, took the cloaking device, and had Scotty install it on the Enterprise. We barely got away.”
Ayelborne nodded. “That is how you remember it.”
Suddenly, they were in sickbay. Scotty was staring, dumbfounded, at a Romulan centurion who bore a striking resemblance to Captain Wesley. He wore a Starfleet uniform, but it was there that the similarities began to end.
“Captain? Captain Wesley?” Scotty asked.
With a mischievous grin beginning to grow on his face, Wesley responded, “Yes?”
The engineer was practically beaming now. “Well, you look like the devil himself, but as long as you’re alive, what’s it all about?”
“Those Romulan officers, they’re still aboard the ship?” Wesley asked, referring to the two Romulan centurions that had transported to the Enterprise in exchange for Kirk and Spock beaming aboard the Romulan flagship.
Wesley and Spock, Kirk reminded himself. These alternate realities always did give me a headache.
[67] “Aye, sir, they’re in the brig,” Scotty replied, happy not only to see his captain alive, but also in the knowledge that the situation appeared to be under control once again.
Wesley merely smiled slightly at the nearly awestruck engineer. “I’ll need a Romulan uniform.”
Scotty’s expression conveyed his approval of the quickly unfolding plan. “Aye, sir. It’ll be a pleasure.”
Kirk and Ayelborne watched as Scotty made his way from sickbay, leaving Wesley, McCoy, and Nurse Chapel alone.
McCoy asked, “Bob, do you really think you have a chance to pull this off?”
The captain shrugged. “We’re the best chance Starfleet has at this point, Leonard.”
That one sentence made Kirk realize just how different this reality was: the absence of the familiar “Bones” nickname that only he had used.
His thoughts were interrupted when the scene before him shifted again. Sickbay disappeared, only to be replaced by a long, dimly lit corridor. It was approximately the same width as many of the main corridors on the Enterprise, but there were devices of unknown yet strangely familiar design adorning the walls. The passageway was illuminated in a soft purple. He dredged the location from his memories.
We’re on the Romulan ship, he realized.
He made his way, along with Ayelborne, down the hallway until they came to a door. The large, reinforced hatch bore some Romulan marking that Kirk could not read, but nonetheless recognized.
“The cloaking device,” Kirk said. “It’s behind this door.”
[68] They didn’t have to wait long. Wesley, complete with centurion’s uniform, moved with a purposeful stride up the corridor. Kirk suddenly realized
that there was no guard to confront the impostor, as there had been when he himself had acted out this scenario. The captain made his way, unimpeded, through the hatch.
Ayelborne looked to Kirk for a fleeting second, then motioned for him to follow as he stepped through the wall.
Now, they were inside the chamber as well. They watched as Wesley studied the various consoles and mechanisms, trying to determine which of them was the cloaking device.
“We didn’t know what it looked like,” Kirk told the Organian as Wesley was suddenly interrupted by a Romulan officer.
“Centurion,” the new arrival asked. “Are you authorized in this area? I do not recognize you.”
Wesley replied with clipped tones, trying to ease the Romulan’s evident suspicions, “There is an intruder aboard. He may be after the cloaking device.”
The centurion’s eyes flickered to momentarily hold on the device at the center of the room. It was a strange, orblike contraption with power conduits running from it to various control consoles.
Wesley knew in that instant it was the cloaking device. That was all the urging he needed. In a lightning move, his hand lanced out from his body and landed a fierce strike to the Romulan’s neck. The centurion never even had time to raise a hand in defense. He sank to the floor in a disjointed heap. From where he stood, Kirk noticed Ayelborne as the [69] Organian grimaced slightly at the brief exhibition of violence.
As Wesley went to work disconnecting the cloaking device from its control mount, Ayelborne moved to examine several of the consoles. Unseen by the Enterprise captain, a status light on one of the consoles changed from a dim blue to a bright, blinking red.
Ayelborne pointed to it. “He has set off a silent alarm. They will be here momentarily.”
Kirk swung to watch the entrance to the chamber, as well as the side door that the now-unconscious guard had used. His eyes kept swinging from the doors to Wesley and back. The captain was still in the process of removing the device.
STAR TREK: Strange New Worlds I Page 6
