Could this be true? That still she didn't believe me? I shoved the door wide next to the black-haired guard I'd assigned to my mate.
Sok ignored me, staring at the wall beyond my shoulder.
Inside the infirmary, Yirt observed my entrance from where he stood across the large silver examination table Cassie had lain atop earlier in the day. His unwavering stare only reaffirmed my soul was on a mission.
Her back faced me. She leaned forward, hunched over the table, obviously assessing something.
What?
"And what about female children born at the Colony?” she asked Yirt without moving.
He blinked at me and turned his gaze back to her with measured thoughtfulness. “They carry the genetic defect as well, Goddess."
The door clapped shut at my heels.
"I really wish you'd call me Cassie, Yirt. Especially since you and I are going to see a lot of each other.” She didn't bother even tossing a glare his direction.
Only the warning. My huv'ria, always angered.
Her shoulders stiffened, and she turned that fiery brown gaze to me as if she learned of my presence from Yirt through the Central Node. “Well, it's about time you showed up. I can't seem to find anything to work with here."
Not too caustic. More like a little relief resonated in her confession.What did that mean?
Yirt's red eyebrows arched. “Your mate is determined to keep me from my duties,” he spoke in my mind by accessing the Central Node.
If she knew we discussed her, she'd be disgusted with being left out of the conversation. “The Goddess is rather good at such feats,” I tried to act emotionless. “What are you searching for?” I asked her.
"Anything that might shed some light on the genetic defect. The mutation that causes !Dako females to be born so physically altered."
"And Yirt has not assisted you?” I slid my gaze back to his.
The medic stood perfectly still. “She has accessed the database. I've answered her questions. I can do nothing more. Your understanding of this is superior to mine, Father."
True. I stopped next to the small vid screen sitting on the table's silver surface behind her back.
She sighed. “I've been here for hours, Vult. I can't find anything that a Handler can correct.” Her shoulders slumped slightly.
Or she sighed. Why? What could she be hiding? Or had I finally witnessed my huv'ria admit defeat? Yirt didn't need to see Cassie's spirit crushed. She had every right to search for answers. “Thank you, Yirt. I can help the Goddess now."
She watched Yirt's departure, then anchored her attention on me.
Emotion. Her expression held so much indefinable emotion. So very different from before. No anger. No frustration. Something else. “What's wrong, Cassie?"
"We have to change things, Vult. I don't want to be like Eshta."
My heart froze.
Where has Zoxni been taking my huv'ria? “Eshta is in mourning."
"I know. I spoke with Zoxni. And we're not going to end up like Eshta. There's got to be something we can do to fight the mutation."
Bless all that is sacred, she thought of the future. The !Dakos’ future. I'd allow her the luxury of thought and piecing together the facts herself though. “Do you have any suggestions?"
She shifted her footing, crossing her tall black boots, and snaked her arms across those plump breasts.
My groin throbbed into action.
Long legs. Spread wide. Moist heat. Lots of silken heat.
"You know,” she groaned ever so timely, “it's just sad we can't kill the crop. Or the microorganism. Why does this dilemma always come back to the genetic tweak?"
At least someone was thinking about genetics at the population level instead of simply breeding. “Didn't I explain the issue was too deeply embedded in our history? Too far back. Too long ago. Too engrained."
She waved an arm at me. “But you're the same generation that was initially affected, Vult.” Her brow furrowed. “Shouldn't your body still hold the key?"
True. “The nanites have changed so much in each of us, and, then, so little. The same with my knowledge as my genes. We have tried everything, Cassie. Everything. We no longer wish to live this way. To live hopeless lives. To wonder when the repercussions of something so unpredictable will end."
She sighed so desperately.
Or with so much resignation only a fool would have seen the action as frustration.
"They're killing off plant and animal species left and right back home. And trying to compensate by creating super crops like the !Dakos did. I understand. I do.” Her gaze riveted on mine so firmly I felt trapped. “You and I, we need these babies."
Had she uttered those words? What did she mean? Our children? A melding of body and soul. Could she fully grasp our situation?
"I'm not ending up like Eshta,” she droned and turned back to the vid screen.
Her profile reflected nothing of the secrets hidden inside her head from the Central Node and telepathic psychics. Yet her statement said enough to warrant a warrior's surge of enthusiasm. Could she want my children for more than the fact they carried her genetic material and she was being forced to accept them because of a pheromone-induced pregnancy? Could her emotion reflect what a mate wished to hear? Love? Was love even possible? And why won't she look at me? Allow me to see some facet of the answer in her eyes. “Cassie?"
She slid a questioning gaze to mine.
And stared.
Vacantly. Souls could really test a warrior. Would my questioning her upset her now? What did it matter? Huv'rias were here to test warriors. “Why do we need these babies?"
"Because they're ours."
Nothing of consequence resonated in those three words but ownership. Not one thing. And I'd be cursed to ask anything else. Cursed to learn she truly felt nothing for me. There was little I could do to change things. Until I knew her feelings for the babies and I were something more. Something reflective of love. Did love really matter after living over a thousand years? The time we spent together didn't even equate to a nanosecond in comparison. But I wanted my soul's favoritism. Yes. I wanted to be at peace with her. Especially since we faced eternity together.
Was love even possible?
The only way to learn the answer is to turn off my pheromones. I owed my soul that much. To know what we shared. To freely experience what passed between us.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Thirteen
Thank goodness the smoky scent of bacon suddenly dissipated like the catchy lyrics of a happening tune playing over and over inside a person's head. Because I could think straight again. Or maybe my olfactory nerves finally placed Vult's aroma in the used-to category like well-worn perfume. Whew. It was slightly more than embarrassing jumping the man's bones every time he walked into the room, then humping like wild monkeys. Now I can think like a scientist. Not the lab animal.
But contemplating wild-monkey sex with the gorgeous man towering at my elbow only made my nipples pinch. I couldn't look at him. Didn't want to set off a wave of sexual frenzy. Gods! What if Yirt returned and found my legs spread wide for more than a pap smear?
"We should return to our bedchamber where we can sift through everything you've learned,” Vult said.
Oh, yes, to the bedchamber. Bed was pivotal in that statement. Big soft supportive platform for large warrior to use his secret weapon on his captive.
I practically ran back to the bed and landed in the center of the squeaking monstrosity. Vult stared at me while I yanked off my boots atop our handy oasis of pleasure.
"What are you doing?” he almost blurted.
Did he really need to ask? “Isn't it obvious?"
He watched me wriggle my hips out of the soft warm leather of my pants.
Oh, the touch of curiosity on his face almost choked me. Why wasn't he jumping my bones? “Vult, I want you to make wild-monkey love to me."
His eyesbrows snapped into one serious line. “What's a
monkey?"
He'd know soon enough. I hopped off the bed, landed both feet on cool stone, and grabbed his waistband. “Come here. I'll help you learn.” Oh, yes. Little monkey teach big monkey how to peel bananas. Enormous bananas.
Well, a little laughter on his part would have made me feel better. But he just studied me, the immobile daunting solid wall of man meat. “Vult, I want these clothes off and you on the bed.” I wiggled my fingers where they were tucked between his pants’ leather against the heat of his solid washboard abs.
Hell, he was one big sexy warrior. But why was he just staring at me? “Vult?"
He blinked.
What was wrong? It's bad enough I was butt naked from the waist down, gripping his pants, begging for sex. Why couldn't he smile a wicked message or something?
I'm such an idiot. Throwing myself at him.
Well, is it even throwing when he's supposed to reciprocate the enthusiasm thanks to little nanites working their pheromone magic? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe. Did everything suddenly play a new tune now? Was I merely his reproductive vessel? His womb!
Shit. I had feelings. I have needs. I am more than a sex toy. And he just looks at me. I tugged my fingers free of his heat.
Wonderful heat.
My arms fell to my sides as I turned to claim a seat on the creaking bed.
At least the soft comforter comforted my bare ass. What a nice reaction from an inanimate object. Vult looked pretty damned inanimate the way he just watched me. “Stop staring at me."
"I apologize, Cassie,” he timbered.
Okay, I got all worked up over nothing. Maybe it was just Eshta's plight. So sad. So final. Maybe I just needed to connect with someone to feel needed. Hopefully. I had to be more careful of my stupid needy subconscious and keep in mind what I was. Just a womb. He didn't need to seek sexual gratification anymore. No. His nanites had gotten me pregnant. He no longer needed to reproduce. Sex was over. No more peeling bananas. The future just looked like one big-ass squeaking jaunt on the lab-rat's exercise wheel. For the rest of my life. An immortal life.
My huv'ria's whole persona flashed from tempting to unreadable. How could she switch from desiring me to being uncaring so quickly? Yet her heart raced. Dare I think the sound equated to desire? Had she expressed such a rare treasure in her actions? I have to know. We needed to share what we couldn't read in each other's minds. “We must discuss this."
She sighed loudly but stared at her knees.
"Are you angry, Cassie?"
She snapped onto her feet, snatched her black pants, shook them out with a pop, and thrust a leg into them, her dismissive shoulder turned to me.
"Cassie? What's happened?"
She snorted. “You're just a big jerk, asshole. Looking for an ass to plant your assissine little hole into. Bastard. I'm not a fuck bag. Grant it, you got the best of me with your little trick on my senses. I couldn't control myself. Unfortunately, you'll have to find someone else to do your dirty work now."
Anger laced those caustic words. What caused this revelatory reaction?
She hopped, tugging her pants up to her navel and twisted the pale flesh of her hips down into the garment.
"Cassie, we must discuss something."
"Forget it.” She stepped away.
Not yet. I couldn't lose my soul. She'd speak to me. I grabbed her around her slim little waist and hoisted her insignificant flailing mass into the air.
"What are you doing?” She kicked my knees and slapped at my hands. “Put me down, Vult."
"Not until we've spoken.” I sat back on the squawking bed and swung her thrashing limbs around to face me, until she straddled my lap.
Glare and all.
"You have no idea how pissed I am,” she snarled, freezing like stone.
So much emotion. That's what a warrior needed. Feelings. Refreshing feelings that forced my blood into a pulsing rush. It's amazing how pheromones cloaked so much in a mate. Smothered. Eliminated everything that made life worth fighting for. Resentment. Preference. Love. Laughter. And my huv'ria's irritation was more precious than the cure for !Dako woes. Yes. My prize. At long last.
Nothing could replace her genuine reaction. But what did it truly mean? Nothing but what she hid within her spirit could answer that question. Time to understand what founded her reaction. To meld body and soul.
She snorted.
Pure displeasure. Annoyance with me. Not for long. “I refuse to live the rest of my life with a huv'ria who despises me."
"Too late to change that.” Her palms slammed against my shoulders and shoved me as if she thought she could push me backward.
Such futile actions. She couldn't move her sweet little ass.
She heaved even more to shove across my thighs. “Let me go."
My determined little soul's struggle would gain her nothing until we'd dealt with her irritation. “Stop this, Cassie. We will have this discussion."
She froze, glowering at me. “Fine. Talk."
Those clipped and commanding words tempted a smile to curl my lips.
No more pheromones. Who wanted a heartless soul who walked in his shadow? She was more fun to have riled and argumentative. Making me feel alive. Now to have her confess what annoyed her. To draw out the precious truth hidden deep within those curves and beating heart. “Until I feel we have said what must be said, you will promise to sit."
"Whatever.” Her bitter gaze flicked off beyond my shoulder where she struggled to feign deafness.
Oh, she was so young. Strong willed. Volatile. But a young soul wielded so much colorful spirit capable of sparking a fire in an old warrior's cold heart. Loosen up his stiffened bones to engage an enemy his people foolishly brought upon themselves by twisting the structure of nature. Such fire and beauty. Just to draw my soul's lean curves against me and crush away her anger. Squelch her reaction. Kiss that straight-lipped frown away. Make her content once again to be with me. Without the guise of pheromones. She must see that her spirit invites me to laugh after so many centuries of mourning the loss of a people. But laughter wasn't exactly going to win her favoritism at the moment. I loosened my grip.
She didn't move.
Good. We'd discuss our feelings. But she would look at me. I will see she speaks the truth in the depths of her eyes. “Cassie?"
She inhaled deeply and crossed her arms over her chest.
The defensive gesture wouldn't shield her from me. I must understand. Just to know... This once. If she cared for me after she attempted to seduce me of her own free will.
Why seduce me? We are mated.
Body bonded to soul.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she had finally cleared her senses from my nanites’ persuasion and realized she had never wanted to be here. With me.
My heart sank in a death fall.
Curse doubt.
Doubt would drive me insane. I needed to adopt Nass's hairstyle. Think of nothing but ending the !Dako's plight. Alas, my huv'ria would be the death of the immortal warrior who lived solely to change the fate of his people. I cupped the warm velvet of both of her cheeks and carefully tipped the point of her graceful chin upward.
She fought me, trying to lock her chin from tilting. Her gaze never relinquished the spot beyond my shoulder. Nor did the grim line of her lips waver. But she couldn't stop my strength from turning her face upward.
The bones in her jaw seemed so fragile. Like her feelings. “What caused your rage?"
She pursed her lips, and her body stiffened. “Nothing."
"Cassie, that is a lie. Tell me what I have done."
She defiantly rolled her eyes but never met my gaze.
"Then I will speak.” I brushed my thumbs across her soft cheeks.
So wonderfully soft. Tormenting. Inspiring. Whether bitter or welcoming. Completely engaging. My soul to nurture or destroy. Would she turn away from this soulless warrior? I couldn't allow that. “Your life is but a moment in comparison to the length of mine. So blessed short. In that, I can emb
race your need to jump straight into my arms or push away."
Her burning gaze snapped to mine. “Did you just insult me by calling me a child?"
So much seething flared in those brown eyes I knew I stalked the precarious trail of my prey. Time to appeal to her sympathies. To convince her I needed her in my life. “For many warriors, it is enough that a huv'ria desires him. But I must know more. I need to know you care for me. If only so that I can live with myself every time I look at you and wonder if you're miserable mated to me."
Her body flinched like an almost-negligible jolt of energy shook her.
Something fluttered across her features.
What?
Her eyes rimmed with glistening moisture.
Had I reached that something rational hidden within her and pulled her back to my side where we could move forward as body and soul? At least, I had her attention. “Cassie, I can't live with myself knowing my soul aches for freedom. I thought, although I couldn't be certain, before you became angered and withdrew, that your desire for me indicated you wanted to be with me."
Her lips knotted with contemplation. “The pheromones. They make me want you.” Her voice was weak, accusing, almost ashamed or resentful of her admission.
What would she say when she learned the truth? “No, Cassie. I turned my pheromones off.” Like a fool. Younger warriors had enough intelligence not to test their fate.
Her brown eyebrows arched slightly. “You did?"
Oh yes. No warrior would care to risk losing his soul. But I had. Was I foolish? But I gained a single moment of invaluable connection between my body and soul. Captured an awareness of our bonding growing upon her beautiful face. I nodded. “Earlier in the infirmary. But I had reasoned it best to give you the opportunity to see whether you were drawn to me. Attracted. In itself, that seemed to be enough to help us understand what we share.” Completion. Yes. We are complete together. Two halves making a whole. The most sacred form of existence in the universe.
She sniffed again and blinked.
Feral Series V: Feral Foretaste Page 15
