by Lana Davison
“I’m sorry but he doesn’t want you,” Ryan said looking around as if to see if someone was listening.
“There is no one else here Ryan, it’s you and me. Please tell me the truth.” I begged. “I love him.”
“He is with someone else, that’s all I can say. I don’t know much more, I am telling you what I know.”
“Aren’t you concerned? None of this sounds right to me.”
“It’s right, Holly. Leo will never come back, you will never see him again, it just won’t happen.”
“Why? He loves me.”
“He told you what he wanted you to hear, he’s very good with the ladies.”
“No, Ryan. That’s not like Leo at all. He said I was the only one.”
Ryan laughed. “Listen, Holly, he knows how to use words, he’s clever. Like I said, he always had a way with the girls. Everyone has a dark side.”
“No,” I argued. “I don’t believe you, I can’t believe you.”
“You’ve got to, Holly. I’m sorry. Leo’s an easy come easy go type of guy with the girls.”
“No.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve had to say this to a pretty girl,” Ryan said, not looking at me. I wondered what was going on. Why would he lie?”
“He’s got someone else. If you love him you would be happy for him.”
“Ryan, can you hear yourself? Do you think that’s fair? Sure tear my heart in shreds and I’ll be happy that you’ve moved on? No, I am not happy for him.
Ryan’s demeanour changed. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. He does this; he meets a pretty girl, has his way and moves on.”
“Well that didn’t happen with us.”
“Yes it did. The sooner you realise that, the sooner you will get over him. You should go. Go and think about what I said.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say in response so I turned on heels and walked back to the car.
“Well?” Sara said. “What happened?”
I took one look at Sara’s face and the tears started to flow down my face. I sat sobbing like a small child. “I don’t know how I’ll get by.”
“Holly, Holly, Holly, my dear girl. You will get over this,” she said pulling me into her arms and giving me the hug I so desperately needed. “What happened?”
“Ryan told me Leo isn’t coming back and that he does this to girls a lot, but Sara, that doesn’t sound like Leo at all.”
She continued to rub my back, thinking of her words carefully, realising how sensitive and fragile I was right now. “Lots of fish in the sea, Holly. There’s lots of fish in the sea. You will love and lose.”
“I…I didn’t think it would be like that with Leo. I was sure,” I sobbed.
“I know,” she said. “Let it out.” And I did. I cried like a baby and Sara continued to hold me.
I tried to collect myself and slowly pulled away from Sara’s embrace. She looked at my red eyes and frowned. “I’ll have to get over it.” I shrugged. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have never been deceived like this before, I really thought we had something special, amazing…” I sniffed and wiped the back of my hand past my nose.
Sara handed me a tissue. “You’re a strong girl, Holly. Look what you’ve already been through.” She lifted her eyebrows and reminded me that I left my parents when I was twelve. In theory this should be a piece of cake.
I nodded. “You’re right. Why should I let him have my heart when he lied to me?” I said still finding it hard to believe.
Sara started the car and pulled away from the house. I looked at it as if to say goodbye forever and could have sworn I saw someone surreptitiously looking out of the corner of the window.
Sara bypassed school and took me back home, telling me not to worry about a thing. She was going to call the school and tell them I would be at home for a few days. I went straight to my room and put on my tracks and a t-shirt then hopped under my bed covers and hugged myself while I sobbed; eventually tiring myself out and falling fast asleep.
Sara knocked on my bedroom door softly, “Can I come in?” she said walking into my room without letting me answer. “I didn’t want to disturb you if you were asleep, but you’re awake now. Can I get you anything?” she said brushing my forehead.
“I’ve got a terrible headache.”
“I’ll get you a painkiller. Do you want to come downstairs and sit with Stuart and me? Maybe you will feel better having some company.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want any company.
“Stuart hasn’t seen you. Is it OK if he comes in?”
I nodded yes.
She left and returned with a glass of water, a painkiller and Stuart. Sara sat on one side of my bed and Stuart on the other.
“Holly, I’d like to give this Leo kid a piece of my mind. I tell you he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Hearing Stuart talk about it made my eyes start to well up. I tried to fight it, but it was no use, I started to sob again.
Stuart looked at Sara, Sara frowned at Stuart and then she pulled me up into her embrace.
“I’ll go, shall I?” Stuart said softly.
“No,” I murmured. “It’s not your fault, it’s me. I’m being pathetic, I know. Why should I give Leo the time of day?”
“Exactly,” Stuart replied, “That’s the spirit. If someone can make you feel this lousy then they are not worth it.”
I agreed but continued to cry. “You know my heart hurts.” I spoke softly through my sobs. “It actually hurts. Has that ever happened to you?”
“No,” Sara said.
“No,” Stuart conferred. “We were lucky. But you will find someone much better, someone who is totally worthy of you, someone who will treat you like a princess.”
I started to sob heavily, remembering how Leo had said he would treat me like a princess. Had he been lying then, too?
“Did I say something?” Stuart asked.
I put my hand up in the air and waved it as if to say no. A few minutes later I removed myself from Sara’s squeeze. I tried to say the words clearly, “I don’t want to feel like this anymore. When will I feel peace?”
“Time heals,” Stuart remarked.
I nodded. “Well I wish time would pass by quickly.”
“Don’t wish it away.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you felt like I did.”
“Why don’t you have a warm bath?” Sara suggested. “Put some candles on and soak for a bit. Take a book with you if you like and try and escape.”
I nodded. “I like the idea of that.”
Sara got up. “I’ll run you a bath and you can go in when you’re ready.”
“OK.” I managed a small smile. They both gave me a sympathetic smile and left my room. I wanted to forget my pain but all I wanted was Leo. I wanted to be in his arms, I wanted him so badly and all I knew was I would never see him again. How is it that a girl of seventeen can have so much heartache before she even enters adulthood?
Chapter Twenty
Avalon
Leo was furious with his parents, with the Royal League, with Laura, with his situation, with being watched and with his parents’ refusal to let him return to Earth to be with the only person who ever truly understood him. What would she be thinking? He didn’t want to let her down. He would never have returned to Avalon if he knew that announcing his love for Holly would cause such unrest. His parents, along with the Royal League, had refused his wish to return, believing Holly was nothing more than trouble for them all – trouble that Avalon could do without. If Leo persisted with this nonsense, then the Royal League would have no choice but to eliminate the problem. It would not look good for a future King of Avalon to renege on his obligations to join with his chosen one.
Three months had passed since Leo last saw Holly. Three months of argument and hostility amongst the Kingdom and Royal League. Leo had had enough of all the turbulence and had to find a way back.
Leo woke up early
; he swam fifty laps of the Olympic size swimming pool situated in the palace grounds and did live combat with his martial arts instructor. Of course with his speed, strength and agility, he had won. He felt strong and ready to take on his parents, yet again. He had to make them see the light, see the errors in their thinking, see that he would never be happy in a forced union.
He showered and changed. Leo looked around his sizeable bedroom, the space resembled a large one-bedroom apartment, with the enormous custom made bed, the lengthy wardrobe with room for more clothes than he had, the bookshelf and desk where he had spent most of his schooling years studying, a chaise longue to fill the generous space and the opulent and generously ample bathroom. He frowned, he had made his space a sanctuary, but it now felt like a prison and he wanted none of it.
With no need to delay the inevitable, he left to find his parents who spent much of their time in the left wing of the palace.
To make an entrance, Leo opened the double doors with gold handles leading into the study using both hands simultaneously. He found both his parents there. His father, Maurice Regent, King of Avalon, resembled an older plumper version of Leo. He sat in a high wing back brown leather chair behind his considerable dimensioned antique desk lined in red leather, stitched around the boarders in delicate gold thread. His mother, Catherine Regent, Queen of Avalon, sat on the cream upholstered chaise longue with her legs curled over to one side. She read the morning paper and collected her dainty cup of tea from the small rounded side table that lay next to the chaise. Her fingers arched around the handle on her teacup while she supported the saucer with the other hand. The vast open room was divided into sections; a large study area with library at one end of the room, followed by the very best quality seating, a snooker table, and a classic wooden bar just like ones seen in English pubs.
“You can’t keep me here like a prisoner in my own home,” Leo announced.
“It’s only until you accept your future,” his father replied, wishing his son would understand the implications of not accepting his destiny.
“You mean, until I accept Laura.”
“Yes, she is your chosen one,” his mother said taking a sip from her cup. She was still striking; her shoulder length blond/grey hair and delicate facial features enhanced her beauty.
“No she isn’t. I keep telling you and you don’t seem to be listening.”
“We know she is. We saw her parents when I was pregnant, we met them and we always knew our children would be together.”
“Well sometimes you might get it wrong.”
“Never, not really,” his father commented.
“I don’t want to marry Laura. I want to be with Holly. I just know she’s the one.”
“Nonsense, you are not making any sense,” his mother announced, putting her teacup and saucer firmly on the small rounded table beside her chaise.
“I came back to Avalon to tell you about her, convinced you would understand. I really thought you might want to meet her.”
“We have never had anyone from Earth in Avalon and we’re not about to start,” his father said firmly.
“Why not? You send a handful of our kind to Earth every year, for whatever reason. There are guardians on Earth; they seem to integrate, so why is it so inconceivable for you to comprehend the idea of Holly coming here to Avalon?”
“Because we live by our rules, if we didn’t we would be nothing. Look at our society, it’s perfect. Very little crime, almost everyone who wants to work can work, people are happy. We must be doing something right.”
“I am not happy and I am your son. I will never be happy being forced to marry someone I don’t want to be with. Why can’t you understand?”
“Leo, rules are rules. They are there for a reason.”
“Rules are made to be broken.”
“You are just being defiant because you are not getting your own way.”
“It’s not like I’m not getting an ice cream. I have every reason to be defiant and refuse this forced union. I won’t do it.”
“You will, Leo Regent.”
“I will not, you watch me.”
“Leo.” His mother huffed standing up with her hands on her hips.
“I won’t.”
“You have to realise something son,” his father said. “You might be the Prince of Avalon, but you of all people will set an example to others. Imagine the outcry in Avalon if we announced you were not to have a matched union with your chosen one. The people would go crazy, they would want to know why, they would ask why rules have been changed for you and not others.”
“So tell them. Tell them it’s because I’m in love with someone on Earth. Tell them, I don’t care.”
“Yes, but we do care. Our society will not understand.”
“This is my life you are all playing with and I won’t let you,” Leo insisted.
“Leo, you have to understand this is more than about you. This is about Avalon and even I, the King of Avalon cannot make such a change to our society. If others have been banished from Avalon for not accepting their union, then how does that make you any different?”
“So banish me. Send me back to Earth. At least I will be happy with the person I want to be with.”
His mother tossed her hands in the air. “This does not seem to be getting through to you at all.”
“No mother, you do not seem to be getting what I am saying. I do not want to live my life with Laura just because you say she’s my chosen one. I can tell you now, it’s wrong. That feeling everyone says they have when they meet their chosen one, is the one I have for Holly, not Laura.”
“Impossible, you are simply infatuated.”
“I love her.”
“Infatuation.”
“No, I am in love with her.”
“You don’t know what love is.”
“And you do?”
“Yes, when you meet your chosen one for the first time you know what love is immediately.”
“Because that’s what happened when you met dad?”
“Exactly.”
“And your friends and family have described the same feeling.”
“Yes.”
“Exactly mother, exactly. And that feeling you just described is the way I feel about Holly, not Laura.”
“It cannot be. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Sometimes things don’t make sense. Not everything has to go according to plan.”
“In Avalon it does.”
Leo nodded. “It’s like talking to a brick wall.”
“It is like that for us too. You don’t seem to realise that Avalon society would not accept this Earth girl, Holly. You will be king one day and you need to do what is expected of you, and that means making a union with Laura. Our people are expecting it. Leo, we can’t just change the rules, it is not only up to us; the Royal League would not accept a union with anyone other than Laura.”
“Well they will have to because I am not joining with her. She’s nice, we get on, I accepted I was going to have a future with her, because I had no idea that the person I want to spend my life with was out there. I have never loved Laura and I don’t think she loves me, even if she says she does, but I respect her.”
“The Royal League won’t have it, Leo,” his mother continued.
“I don’t care what the Royal League says, put it to them. Just ask them to make two changes; one, that a person from Earth can come to Avalon, and two, that my union with Laura is not happening. I want to be with Holly.”
The King ran his fingers through his short silver hair, “Oh, Leo you are relentless.”
“Yes perhaps you would be too if you knew you would be miserable with the future that has already been set out for you by other people. A future the same people are telling you, you have no say over.”
“I will gather the Royal League. There are two hundred of them that will need to vote and I will give you their answer. But, Leo, be warned, their answer is final.”
“Fathe
r, be warned, I am not going into a union with Laura and that’s final.”
“Leo, be open minded.”
“That’s nice coming from you.”
“Hey, I am on your side,” his father said.
“What’s the point in being the King if you can’t make changes?”
“Because I am advised by the Royal League. They are the eyes and ears of the public.”
“Father the Royal League are a group of people who have been chosen to join because of their bloodline or their ability. You might think they are the eyes and ears of the people, but they are not like the people at all.”
“Hush.” His father put his hand up. “We must not go on with our feud, we used to be a good family, we were happy and now we are always fighting. I will speak to the Royal League. That is the best I can do.”
“Thank you. At least that’s a step forward in the right direction,” Leo said.
“You might not like what you hear from them, son,” his father said lifting his eyebrows. “But I will put it to them nonetheless.”
Chapter Twenty-One
I sat by my window ledge and looked out at the cloudy sky watching the rain hitting the window pane. I had had no idea Leo was having me on. I would often wonder if he thought of me, or was I just an intense fling, one that was better than most? The more I thought about him, the less I think I knew. I would often go over the riddles he use to speak in and the conversation I overheard that night when I had stayed at his house. Nothing made sense to me, other than I had been a short term fling, and Leo belonged to someone else. That’s just the way it was. I had to accept it, but it was easier said than done.
Sara continued to watch over me, without her I’m not sure how I would have coped. She was a mixture of a mother and a best friend; her age and experience allowed her to read my emotions and respond accordingly. She never smothered me, but let me know she was always there when I did want to talk, or cry for that matter. She left me to get on with it, but wouldn’t let me get too melancholy; she monitored me from a distance.
In the evening I would often take the car out and drive for miles and miles, listening to music, thinking, wondering – feeling sorry for myself I suppose. I’d get lost in my thoughts sometimes, and the emptiness in my heart made me want to run away, just keep driving, but to where?
