At around ten I headed over to the Gadda-da-Vida. It was break time and I wanted something to go with my fourth cup of coffee. I also had Farrah on my vendor list and I needed to confirm the ceremony details and flowers. As I pushed the front door open, I heard a deep male voice off to the right by the cash register. I halted halfway in, straining to hear. I try to avoid bothering Farrah when she has paying customers, but she also has a steady stream of local folks who stop by to talk story, so I listened to see which this was.
“What do you think?” It was Kevin. I recognized the deep rumble of his voice.
“I think you’re my knight in shining Hummer,” said Farrah. Her voice had inched up a couple of octaves, just shy of kittenish.
“Well, thanks to you, I’m feeling a lot better about stuff,” he said. “I’m happy to return the favor.”
I stepped back onto the sidewalk and eased the door shut, hoping to avoid rousing the tinkly bell on the door. I didn’t need a trail-mix bar bad enough to barge into the middle of that. And besides, once Kevin left, Farrah would break a leg rushing over to fill me in on the details.
Back in my shop I scrounged through my desk and found a shriveled piece of fruit leather and a sleeve of stale crackers filled with a peanut butter-like substance. The coffee had grown bitter sitting in the pot all morning—so much for my break.
I was lifting the receiver to call the final three names on my supplier checklist when the front door flew open. Kevin stood in the doorway.
“Why’d you leave?” he said, closing the door behind him. “It’s not like you were interrupting anything.”
“Oh, no problem, it wasn’t urgent. It’s good to see you. I was expecting to see you out at the airport yesterday, but ...” I let it trail off.
“No reason for me to be there. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, shoot.”
“Is there any chance I’ll find myself legally married to Lisa Marie if I go through with this thing?”
“Good question. I’m no lawyer, but it doesn’t seem to me you would. The marriage license was issued to Brad, and you’re just signing as his Power of Attorney. To be safe, though, you may want to check with an attorney.”
“You know any?”
“Lawyers? Not personally, but I can ask around and get a recommendation.”
“Thanks. Oh, and by the way, Farrah’s great. You know her well?”
“We’ve been best friends since third grade.”
“She involved? I mean, does she have a boyfriend or anything?”
“Nope—the only male in her life is a very spoiled, mega-hyper dog. The last dude she dated took off about a year ago. Not a happy ending.” I squinted a little stink eye his way. “Like I said, she’s my best friend—ever. No offense, but I’m pretty protective.”
“I get it, but don’t worry. I’d just like to get to know her a little better.” He winked and shot me his ‘good guy’ smile. “That’s all—promise.”
We locked stares for a moment and he turned and grabbed the doorknob. “You won’t forget to call me about the lawyer?”
“We’re watching each other’s backs, right? I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve got something.”
I still had three more vendor calls to make but I was twitching with nervous energy. I cleared off my desk and locked up. A quick workout at PoP sounded good, but when I went out to my car an invisible force dragged me in another direction.
I slipped through the back door of the Gadda-da-Vida and stopped to listen for customers.
“I’ve been counting to see how long it’d take you to get over here,” said Farrah. “I’m all the way up to two hundred and ninety.”
“Well?” I said.
Her voice was all innocence. “Well, what?”
I turned back toward the door.
“Okay, okay, don’t leave. I’ll tell you. I know you don’t believe in this stuff,” she said. “But I’m absolutely sure Kevin and I were lovers in a former life.” She said it the way most people would mention they’d run into someone they’d known in high school.
“I knew it as soon as I laid eyes on him,” she continued. “He came over to buy a bottle of water while Lisa Marie was getting measured for her wedding gown. The store wasn’t busy, so we got to talking and I got this tingly feeling. Then last Saturday when he brought her back for the fitting, he came over again. He seemed worried about something so I offered to do a quick tarot reading for him. While I was laying out his array, he came right out and said it—he said he felt like he’d met me somewhere before.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere before was a rather stale haole pick-up line. I also kept my mouth shut about the two of them being a rather odd couple—Mu’u mu’u Mama meets Gorgeous George. After all, in my business I’ve worked with some pretty bizarre couples.
“I told him about Tank Sherman kicking us out and taking over our businesses.” She stopped for a dramatic pause.
I nodded. My mind was leaping to conclusions, but I worked at keeping a blank face.
“And then I told him about how important the store is to the people of Pa’ia, and how Tank is a jerk who will probably turn it into a porno shop. Anyway, today Kevin came in and told me he’s buying the building!”
“He’s got two million bucks?”
“I guess so. He said he thinks it’s a good investment.”
“But what about Tank? Noni made it sound like the deal’s locked up.”
“Kevin’s not worried about that. He says he’s going to offer a little more than the asking price so the seller will take his offer instead of Tank’s. Tank won’t care. Noni said he’s working on a bunch of projects right now.”
I couldn’t see Tank coolly shrugging off losing out on a business deal, but who knows? The guy had evolved from a laughing-stock fat kid in high school to Donald Trump-Goes-Hawaiian in less than ten years. Nothing would surprise me.
“Does Kevin know about Tank’s Friday deadline?”
“Yeah, I told him. He said he’ll get with a real estate broker tomorrow.”
“Speaking of lifestyles of the rich and infamous, guess what I found out?”
“That Lisa Marie’s dad is stinking rich?” said Farrah.
“Kevin must have told you.”
“Yep. I sure pegged that wrong. I asked Kevin why he’s doing this phony wedding for Lisa Marie and he said he owes her a favor. It’s hard to imagine Miss All-About-Me doing anything for anybody. What do you think’s going on?”
“Who knows? I figure the seriously rich are just as screwed up as the rest of us—maybe more. Why’d Lindsay Lohan take that necklace? Or Charlie Sheen rant about his tiger blood?”
I started for the door and then stopped. “Oh, do you have a minute to go over the ceremony and flowers?”
“Da kine.” She pulled a manila envelope from under the counter and opened it. Just then, a family of four burst through the front door sending the bell into a manic tinkle. The two kids took off for the beach toys section while the mom pulled out a grocery list. She sent the dad on various missions for toilet paper, cereal, and milk while she went back to referee the loud brother-sister squabble that had erupted over which boogie board to buy.
“Uh-oh, this may take a while,” said Farrah. “Can I get back to you later?”
We hugged a quick good-bye. I shut the back door, pleased to hear its squeaky hinge, rather than that annoying jingly bell out front.
As I bucked the traffic on Baldwin on my way down to the guan I felt lighter than I’d felt in weeks. The Prescotts were a peculiar bunch and the proxy marriage was a joke. But with only three days to go until the wedding and Kevin buying our building, my life—like the weather—was starting to feel normal again.
CHAPTER 10
The back door at Palace of Pain was propped open. It was too early for lessons, but Sifu Doug encourages students to come in and practice so he’s often there before lunchtime.
I entered the
dimly lit room and a sharp odor caught in my throat. My sifu was on his hands and knees, swiping a wet rag across the worn blue mats. When he sat up to wring out the rag in a plastic bucket, I bowed and we made eye contact.
“What’s going on?” I waved my hand in front of my face. “What stinks?”
“It’s the smell of the new plague,” Doug said. “The Health Department called this morning. A high school kid’s come down with MRSA and they traced the it back to a karate school in Lahaina. They’ve closed everyone down. Everything in here’s got to be disinfected, and I need to get it checked out before I can open back up again.”
“Mersa?”
“Yeah, it stands for…” He pulled out a pink ‘While You Were Out’ note from his pocket and handed it to me. On the message line it read, Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus (MRSA).
“It’s real contagious,” he said. “If you get it, it’s a bitch because they can’t knock it down with normal antibiotics. It’s killed people—mostly athletes and people in their families.”
“So the guan’s closed?”
“Technically. But if you’ll help me spread this stuff around I’ll let you stay and work out for a while.”
The acrid fumes were making my eyes water, but I couldn’t disrespect my sifu by not helping when asked.
“Sure, I’ve got some time.”
Doug pulled a second rag from the bucket, twisted it out, and threw it to me.
“Start on that wall over there by the door. I’m almost done with the mats. Once we’ve wiped down all the walls and scrubbed out the bathrooms we’re done.”
“When’s the inspector coming?”
“I got on the list today, but who knows? They’ve got more’n two dozen places to look at, so it could be tomorrow, could be a week from now. The lady at the health department clued me in that checking martial arts schools wasn’t a big priority. They’re gonna clear the high schools and community centers first.”
“What about your classes?”
“No classes, no practice, nothin’ until I get a signed release taped to the door.”
Sifu Doug is a hero to me. He holds a fourth level black belt in Korean kung fu as well as advanced belts in both karate and judo. One hundred sixty pounds of lean muscle, with a face like an Army Ranger, all sharp angles and close-cropped hair. I’d come to Palace of Pain expecting him to kick my ass while asserting his superiority over the lowly brown belt I’d earned while in college on O’ahu. Instead, he welcomed me like ohana—like family. He’s a big believer in mind over matter, and he claims success is simply the result of maintaining a right attitude and acting on it. If he’s ever had doubts about me he’s never shown them. At times, living up to his expectations is more intimidating than any opponent I’ve ever faced. But without him, I doubt I ever would have earned that black sash.
We finished wiping everything down and Doug looked up at the clock.
“Gettin’ late. I promised Lani I’d pick the kids up at school. Today’s one of those short days for them. You okay with me leaving the windows and doors open and you close it all up when you go?”
“No problem. I really just came down here to burn off a little steam. I’ll be heading out soon myself.”
“Hey, I appreciate your help.” He clapped me on the shoulder. I gave him a short bow in return.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” I said. “Isn’t one of your brothers a lawyer?”
“Yeah, James. He’s got his own office now. Used to work in the prosecutor’s office.”
“Could you give me his number? I’ve got a client with a legal question.”
I waited while Doug went in the back. He returned and handed me a business card. “Tell your client to use my name and ask James for a discount.”
“Mahalo.”
“Da kine. Don’t forget to lock up.”
I stuck around for another ten minutes, but gave up when my throbbing head put me on notice that if I didn’t get some fresh air I’d be popping aspirin the rest of the afternoon.
I couldn’t go home, though. I still had to go over the wedding details with Farrah. When I pulled up at Gadda-da-Vida there were three open parking spaces right out front.
Farrah had a pile of coins in front of her. She’d already made up about a half-dozen rolls, but from the looks of the pile, she wasn’t even halfway done.
“You able to talk?” I said.
“Yep. It’s been slow since you left. That family ended up buying both boogie boards—the blue and the yellow. Why do parents think throwing money at their kids is a good substitute for discipline? No wonder keiki are so annoying.” She gestured for me to join her behind the counter. “Hey, speaking of annoying, how’s it going with the new roommate?”
“It’s not bad. His name’s Hatch Decker and he’s a fireman. Got hit by a truck and broke his leg.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. He’s gonna be laid up for a month.”
She squinted at me. “You’re blushing.”
“I’m not. I just got back from working out. I’m hot.”
“Okay, maybe you’re hot, but it’s not from working out. C’mon, spill about the hunky fireman.”
I broke eye contact.
“Not really much to say. Hatch seems like a great guy.” I hesitated, and she nodded, encouraging me to get to the ‘but’ she knew was coming. “But, I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”
“Really? He came right out and said, ‘Nice to meet you--I’m gay’?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Not exactly, but it sort of adds up. He said he transferred over here from Honolulu because he was being hassled by the guys at work. Seems the guys at Maui Fire are more open-minded because a couple of them came over to see him yesterday and I overheard them asking if he’d told me some big secret. Not only that, he’s a friend of Steve’s and almost all of Steve’s friends are gay.”
“I’m not gay,” she said.
“No, but you’re not exactly a bosom buddy of his.”
She did a little shimmy which sent her generous breasts in motion. “Hey,” she said. “I got the bosom. And he’s my buddy.”
“You know what I mean.”
“So, has Steve ever talked about Hatch before?” she said.
“No.”
“Well, there you go. They probably aren’t bosom buddies either.”
Farrah loved to have the last word. I’d already grudgingly accepted Hatch’s gender preference, so I wasn’t going to argue. Besides, it pained me to dwell on it.
“Before another customer comes in let’s get this wedding stuff wrapped up,” I said.
“Good, I’m tired of counting.” She swept the coins into a coffee can and put the can under the counter.
We went over the logistics of the ceremony. It promised to be a quick one, since Lisa Marie had ordered Farrah to keep it to basic vows and skip the sermon about the sanctity of holy matrimony.
Next, we sketched out the flower placement. Farrah was still smarting over Lisa Marie going around her to get the tuberoses she wanted. I’d received a chilly call from Marv’s executive assistant who’d sniffed she’d taken time from her busy work day to track down the flowers online. They were being flown in from South America, and ‘my florist’ needed to make arrangements to pick them up promptly when they arrived at the airport on Thursday morning.
“With the currency exchange and overnight freight charges those things are gonna cost hundreds of dollars,” Farrah said.
“I know,” I said. “Let it go, okay?”
“And it’s going to be a huge hassle for me. I’ll have to make a special trip to the cargo terminal at Kahului to get them. And then, I’ll have to cram them into the bridal bouquet at the very last minute. I’m going to get everything prepared ahead of time on Wednesday. I usually make up my bouquets on the morning of the wedding, but with Thursday being Valentine’s I’ll be too pushed to get it all done. You know, I’ve got regular customers who ordered flowers weeks ago and it’s not fair to�
�.”
“No problem,” I said. “A day early will be fine.”
“If those tuberoses come in when they’re supposed to, I should have everything ready to go by three o’clock. It’ll be pupule around here, with Valentine’s and all, but I’m planning to arrive an hour before the ceremony.”
“And you know where Olu’olu is, right?”
“Well, duh. If the mafia dude who built that monstrosity on sacred ground was looking for privacy, he sure picked a lousy spot. It’s like a ginormous zit on a bully’s nose. Everybody sees it, but nobody’s stupid enough to say anything.”
***
I was nearly through my to-do list, but I had one last stop to make before calling it a day. I pulled into Olu’olu a few minutes after five. I hoped I wouldn’t be interrupting the Prescott’s dinner. Since Hawaii time is three hours earlier than even West Coast mainland time lots of visitors eat early. Stomachs don’t wear watches.
“Pali Moon,” I said into the gate speaker.
“And your business?” It was the same guy as before. Was he dense, or did he just enjoy coming up with cracks about ‘Let’s Get Maui’d’?’
“C’mon, you know me. I’m Lisa Marie’s wedding planner.”
No comment from Mr. Witty as the gate slowly inched open.
I parked the car and walked to the front door, once again marveling at the wraparound oceanfront setting. Who says money can’t buy happiness—or at least a fabulous view?
Once again, the maid, Josie, answered the door before I had time to press the bell.
“Good evening, Miss Moon,” she said, a big smile extending all the way to her eyes. I’d never seen her when she wasn’t smiling. It didn’t seem to me that working for a guy like Marv Prescott would be all that jolly, but then, most of the year the household help had this beautiful house all to themselves, so maybe putting up with him for a few days every now and then wasn’t so bad.
“Is Lisa Marie at home?” I said. “I believe she’s expecting me.”
She looked at me with the look people give when they know you’re lying but choose to ignore it.
“She here. Mr. Prescott here too.”
Maui Widow Waltz (Islands of Aloha Mystery Series) Page 9
