by Donna Hill
“Call me Rush. All my friends do.”
“I’d like that…Rush.”
Barbara watched the exchange with wry amusement. She loudly cleared her throat, successfully disconnecting the electric charge in the air. “Chad, why don’t you show Ms. Rivers around? Mr. Montgomery isn’t expected for about an hour.”
Chad tore his gaze away from Simone’s face and slowly digested what was being said.
“No problem.” He turned back toward Simone. “Are you ready?”
“Sure. Lead the way.” She smiled and Chad could have sworn that his heart stopped.
“Maybe after the tour we could have lunch. If you’re hungry, that is.” Chad suggested.
“That sounds wonderful. The food on the plane left a lot to be desired.”
Barbara watched them walk away and shook her head. It was about time Chad ran into someone who could cool his jets…or maybe turn up the heat, she chuckled to herself.
Justin had been like a caged bear since the fiasco with Vaughn. He hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in days, which accounted for his unusual late-afternoon arrival. He’d needed the few extra hours to get himself together before going in today. The last thing he wanted to do was lose it when he met Simone. He’d been short tempered with his staff, his friends, strangers on the street, and every time he’d thought about Vaughn, which seemed to be continuously, his stomach twisted into knots.
As he stood in front of his full-length mirror and adjusted his maroon tie, his countenance grew solemn. This wasn’t how he’d expected to feel today, of all days. He’d expected to feel exhilaration, anticipation, maybe even fear. But this indescribable desolation was unbearable. The only things that had kept him sane had been the single-mindedness with which he’d driven himself at work and in his business dealings, and his unwavering hope that Simone would be the daughter he’d lost. Yet even that excitement had been tainted by Vaughn’s callousness.
His throat constricted. He’d opened his heart and soul to Vaughn. He’d exposed a part of himself that he’d never done for any woman, not even Janice. He’d trusted Vaughn to take his feelings and nurture them. Instead, she took, into her hand, what he’d offered of himself and she crushed it like something to be discarded. The pain of her rejection had ripped out a piece of him he wasn’t sure could ever be repaired.
He inhaled deeply, ran a soft brush across his hair, and splashed on a dab of cologne. He’d find a way to rid his heart and his spirit of Vaughn. He knew that he couldn’t spend the rest of his life feeling like he didn’t want to face another day. Maybe, just maybe, he did have something to look forward to. Being a father again. Did he dare to hope?
Chapter 13
Four men sat solemnly around the hardwood table. Conversation was barely audible, the thick Persian carpets and paneled walls absorbing all sound. Waiters served drinks and brunch unobtrusively, seeming to blend into the “old-boy” decor.
The exclusive club on Sixteenth Street N.W. was a haven for the ultraconfidential conversation. It was rumored that the real decisions of the nation were made in these rooms. They were frequented by statesmen and businesspeople of every caliber, as well as those whose names remained unknown.
“I want you to meet with Montgomery within the next two weeks,” the man at the head of the table advised. “Those are my instructions.”
“From whom?” asked Stan Waters, the heaviest of the four. Stan Waters had been a considerable financial contributor to election campaigns over the years. Having his financial backing was like having your own godfather. His construction firm did big business with the government, and even though nothing was written down, decisions were never made without informing Stan Waters.
“There’s no reason to concern yourself with that. Let it be my problem.” His smile was practiced. “You get him to agree. I know you can. Any questions?” His dark gaze bore through each face intently.
There was a simultaneous nodding of heads.
“Good.” He slapped his palms on the table. “Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned. And,” he cautioned as he motioned for the waiter, “this is not to be discussed with anyone. Understood?” Another round of nods. “Now, let’s have lunch.”
On the drive to his office, Justin felt his uneasiness over how he would react to meeting Simone mount. Would he recognize her on sight? Would she still resemble the pudgy little baby that he remembered? Of course she wouldn’t, he rationalized. The last time he’d seen his daughter had been nearly nineteen years ago.
How would he know, he wondered, as he pulled his car into his parking space. What would he say? His pulse beat a rapid rhythm. He walked toward the elevator. Soon, he breathed heavily. Soon.
Simone and Chad had just returned from lunch and were waiting in the reception area when Justin entered. For several unbelievable moments, when Justin’s gaze lighted on Simone, he was transported back through time to the moment he’d first seen his infant daughter.
His heart was swollen with pride and a fierce sense of determination that he would do everything in his power to protect this angel that had been sent to him from heaven. When he’d held his daughter for the first time, he’d been overcome with a love so powerful it had brought tears to his eyes. But somehow, over the ensuing months, his quest to carve out the best life possible for his wife and daughter had overshadowed everything else. And then they were gone. That void had never been filled—until now.
“Justin.” Chad rose from his seat on the long sofa, as did Simone.
Slowly, Justin walked over to them and extended his hand to Simone. “I take it you’re the Ms. Rivers I’ve heard so much about. Rush,” he added, nodding to him in acknowledgment.
Simone smiled and Justin’s heart constricted from the sweetness of it. “Yes, I am, Mr. Montgomery. It’s a pleasure to meet you at last.”
Justin cleared his throat. “Well…if you’ll give me a few minutes to get settled, I’ll be right with you and we can talk.”
“Thank you,” she said.
Justin crossed the room, fighting to keep his emotions shrouded under the guise of normalcy. “Any messages, Barbara?”
“There were two. One from Assemblywoman Hamilton, and another from a Mr. Waters.” Barbara handed him the message slips.
It took all he had to keep his hand from trembling when he reached for the white slips of paper. Vaughn. He swallowed. “Thanks.” He looked down at the number for Stan Waters as he headed for his office. He never did care for Waters and couldn’t imagine what they would have to say to each other. He slipped the message into his jacket pocket and opened his office door.
Immediately he reached for the phone, then stopped. It had taken her a week to call him. The waiting had seemed like an eternity. Now, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear what she had to say. He moved behind his desk and sat heavily down in his seat.
Suddenly, he wanted her to hurt just as badly as he’d been hurting. He wanted her to know the depths of his disillusionment. He wanted her to feel what it was like to have the love you offered tossed in your face.
He leaned across the desk and reached for the phone. He pressed the intercom.
“Yes, Mr. Montgomery,” Barbara answered.
“Barb, send in Ms. Rivers, please.”
“Right away.”
Justin leaned back in his seat and waited. What would he say—what could he say that would explain the loss of nineteen years?
“It’s quittin’ time, girlfriend,” Crystal said, stepping into Vaughn’s office.
“Hmm-umm,” Vaughn responded absently. She hadn’t heard from Justin even after leaving two messages. It was becoming painfully obvious that he no longer wanted to have anything to do with her. “Uh, I’ll be leaving soon. You go on ahead.” She forced a smile.
“Trouble?” Crystal questioned.
Vaughn straightened her shoulders and inhaled deeply. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
Crystal gave her a long look, then shrugged. “If you say so. I’ll see you in
the morning. Don’t forget to work on your notes for your meeting with the city council in the morning.”
Vaughn waved away the suggestion. “Taken care of,” she said. Work was the only activity that had kept her sound throughout the day as she’d waited in vain for the phone to ring.
“Then I’ll see you in the morning. I’m meeting David in an hour. Got to rush home and change,” Crystal added, trying to get a rise out of Vaughn.
Vaughn looked up from the papers on her desk. “Have fun.”
Crystal shook her head once in defeat and closed the door silently behind her.
Vaughn sighed in audible relief when Crystal finally left. She didn’t know how much longer she’d have been able to stand there and pretend everything was wonderful. When what she really wanted to do was crawl under the covers and cry.
She stuffed her notes in her briefcase, took a last look around the office and a fleeting look at the phone, and left.
For several moments she stood on the steps of the office building, her lightweight trenchcoat billowing around her. The evening sky was just beginning to darken. The heavens glowed a brilliant orange. The breeze was warm, the streets covered with after-work strollers and couples on their way to intimate dinners. There were all the elements she’d shared with Justin on so many nights just like this one. She had never felt so alone as she did at that moment.
Drawing on some inner strength, she walked to the corner and hailed a cab. She had no one to blame, she realized, as she sat back on the leather seat, no one but herself. She’d been a fool to think Justin could have been anything other than sincere. She’d taken what he’d offered her and she’d mangled it. And now he didn’t want to have anything to do with her.
For so long she’d been brainwashed into believing that whatever her father had said was true, almost without question. She’d allowed his views to become her own. And now she had allowed them to destroy the one bit of happiness that she’d found in this lifetime.
“Driver.” She tapped on the Plexiglas partition. “I’ve changed my mind. Please take me to 5836 Larchmont.” She sat back and swallowed the trepidation that welled up in her throat. What if he wouldn’t see her? What if…what if he was with someone else? She knew she wouldn’t be able to stand that. Her mind raced through every uncomfortable scenario imaginable.
“Ms…. Ms.” The driver craned his neck to look behind him. “Ain’t this where you wanted to get out?”
Vaughn shook her head, snapping back to reality. “Oh. I’m sorry. How much is that?”
“Eight-fifty.”
Vaughn dug in her purse and retrieved a ten-dollar bill. “Keep the change.” She gathered her belongings, got out, and then stood like a statue in front of Justin’s darkened house. There was no sign of anyone, no lights, no nothing.
In vain, she looked up and down the quiet, tree-lined street. What would she do now? The cab was long gone and this wasn’t the type of neighborhood where you could flag one down. And the last thing she needed was to be caught standing outside his door like some lovesick puppy. She looked toward the corner in the hopes of spotting a phone. Nothing. Tears of disappointment, humiliation, and frustration slipped unnoticed down her cheeks.
After spending the better part of the afternoon with Simone, Justin was more convinced than ever that she was, in fact, his daughter, Samantha. There was no hard proof. He was now convinced that Janice had given up their daughter, which would fully explain why he could never find her.
She was the same age as Sam, even though their birthdays were months apart. It was probably all part of Janice’s plan, he reasoned. Simone had Sam’s coloring and she was everything that he would want his daughter to be. Yet there was still a part of him, a nagging part of him, that said he wanted Simone to be his daughter so desperately that he had created the scenario that would make it real.
As he drove through the darkened Richmond streets, he felt more than ever the overpowering need to be loved again. He needed to be held at this moment. He needed to be told that everything was going to work out. He needed to be vulnerable, for just a moment, and to shed his armor of impenetrability. He needed to be with Vaughn and the realization twisted the knife deeper into his heart. She didn’t want him, at least, not in the way he wanted her. But he felt he had reached a point in his life where he had to have more than she was able or willing to give.
He turned onto his street. Maybe he had pushed too hard, too fast. He knew Vaughn was still on the wire about their relationship. He knew she had been terribly hurt in the past. He also understood that in her very public position she would be held up to the closest scrutiny. He breathed heavily. He’d been a first-class idiot. He’d let his ego dictate his behavior over the past week. Instead of getting to the root of what was really eating at her, he’d collected his marbles and quit the game. With that kind of attitude, he and Vaughn would never get anywhere. They were both too damned stubborn. Someone had to be willing to make the first move. To some men, the thought of making concessions when it came to a woman made them feel less than a man. But Justin didn’t need the backing or approval of the brotherhood to validate himself. He always believed that it took a real man to realize what a woman needed to make her happy. Even if that meant making those concessions.
He stepped on the accelerator. As soon as he got home, he was going to call her. He was going to make her listen. Just as he’d done all the other times. He wasn’t going to let her fears and the paranoia that her father had heaped on her destroy them. She was much too important. With that decided, he suddenly felt better than he had in days. He was in such a hurry to reach his door that he nearly missed the woman walking briskly down the street.
He slowed the car. It was beyond unusual, in this highly secluded neighborhood, to see a single woman walking the street at night. He frowned and then peered closer as the woman drew near. It couldn’t be.
He pulled the car to a sudden stop alongside her. Vaughn snapped her head in his direction and her heart leaped to her throat.
“Damn,” she swore under her breath. “Just what I need. How in the devil am I going to explain being here?” How about the truth, her conscience quizzed. She lifted her chin, adjusted her shoulder bag, and slung her hands in her trenchcoat pockets. Purposefully, she turned to face the now parked car and took a defiant step closer.
Justin stepped out and looked at her over the hood of the BMW. He swore he’d never seen anything so beautiful. His stomach knotted. Why had she come?
They both began to talk at once. “Vaughn, I…want…”
“I came to see you.”
“I was going to call…” Justin rounded the car and stood in front of her.
Vaughn felt her heart slam mercilessly against her chest. The scent of him swam to her brain. Oh, God, how she’d missed him.
They seemed to reach for each other simultaneously. Her hand stroked his cheek, his cupped her delicate chin, tilting her face up to his. His eyes seemed to burn through her, she thought dizzily, heating all the places that had been so cold since she’d last been with him. How could she have ever thought for a minute that this man she loved beyond reason would do anything to intentionally hurt her?
Justin’s eyes grazed lovingly across her face. There were so many things he wanted to say, but only one thing seemed to encapsule all that raged within his heart. “I love you, Vaughn,” he whispered raggedly. “I know I’ll always love you. And whatever it is…” He lowered his head until his lips were only a breath away from hers, “we’ll work through it. We will if you’ll just trust me. Please, baby, just trust me.”
Vaughn had no words as Justin’s luscious lips touched down on hers, then drew her into a soul-stirring kiss that was one step below heaven. How she longed to be held by him again, to be loved by him, to give herself to him as she had with no other man! She had been such a fool. Time and life were too short to allow anything to interfere with happiness. She would trust him this time. Completely. She would give one hundred percent of her
self from this day forward. Never again did she want to feel the hollow pain that had filled her days without him.
Justin crushed her lush body fully against him, needing desperately to feel the heat of her flesh. He felt like a man who’d been deprived of water and then was finally led to the river to take his fill. He feasted on her lips, his tongue dancing with and enticing hers. His powerful fingers raked through her hair, commanding that she succumb to him. But this would never be enough, he realized, as the beat of passion pounded through his veins.
Gently, he broke the kiss. His eyes sparkled with a desire only to be surpassed by hers.
“Your place…or mine…?” he groaned.
Vaughn smiled seductively at him. Her finger reached out and traced his full lips. “Since I’m in the neighborhood,” she said in a throaty whisper, “let’s try your place on for size.”
Chapter 14
“I’ve been wrong about so many things,” Vaughn confessed, as she lay on her side next to Justin. Gingerly, she traced the outline of his jaw. “It’s just hard for me sometimes to say how I really feel.” She hesitated. Justin caressed her back, encouraging her to continue. In a halting voice, she began again. “I’ve been conditioned to believe that every man is out to use me. My negative reflexes just kick in whenever someone tries to get close to me.” Her eyes gazed lovingly into his. “What I should have really said is…I’m just not ready to live with you. But,” she qualified with a tremulous smile, “that doesn’t mean I’ll feel that way forever. I just don’t think that now is the right time.”
Justin sighed heavily. “It was hard for me to accept what you said. But hindsight is always twenty-twenty. I know you’re right, Vaughn, but I just couldn’t handle the idea that you didn’t want to be with me—and to hell with your real reasons. But guess what?”
“What?” she grinned.
“I’d rather have you with me on whatever terms than not at all.”
