She rolled her eyes. “Because I loved him. Lord knows I fought against it and living with him while carrying his child offered quite a challenge, but we survived because of love.”
Abigail smiled. “I, too, loved Greyson when I married him, although I hadn’t put a name to the emotion. Love is something you can’t marry without.”
“This is all wonderful to hear, but I still don’t understand. What does this all have to do with me?”
“If you don’t love Miss Glace, you can’t marry her,” Brianna explained as if he were a child.
Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose as his head throbbed. Richard and Greyson had to get a handle on their wives, for he couldn’t take this. They knew nothing of his situation or his obligations.
“I appreciate your concern, but you don’t understand.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the outrage on their faces.
“Do you think we should tell him?” Brianna asked.
“I don’t know. He hasn’t earned it.”
“Or her.”
Brianna’s words echoed in his mind and snapped his eyes open. Catherine. It had to be. She had been the only woman he saw them endorsing.
“Tell me,” he pleaded.
“Please excuse us, my lord. I have been away from Joseph much too long today.” Brianna stood to leave, Abigail following closely behind.
He jumped to his feet, desperate not to let them go. “Please tell me. What news do you have about Catherine?”
The women exchanged a look, then Abigail faced him. “She came by earlier. If you wish to see her, she said she will be at the place where only you can find her.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, as relief flooded him.
So Catherine waited at the center of the maze. After the women passed by, he rushed out the door, anxious to get to her. She must have been there for quite a while, and he had no desire to have her leave.
When he stood a few steps from the entrance, he froze. Why was he doing this? She’d rejected him. He didn’t owe her and certainly didn’t need to rush to her side when she called.
Indecision tore at him as he stood, clenching and unclenching his fists. He dropped his head. In the end, he knew he would end up going to her, so he stopped fighting the urge. Never before had he refused her when she asked for him, and he didn’t intend to start now.
Arriving at the center, he stopped and stared. Catherine sat upon the fountain, lightly trailing her fingers through the water. His heart ached at the sight of her. In all his years, he had never found another woman who came anywhere close to her.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Gates,” he greeted formally, needing to maintain distance between them.
“I knew you would come.” Joy brimmed over in her eyes.
“Lady Stonemede indicated that you wanted to talk to me.” He shrugged as if he hadn’t rushed out here to see her. “Did you enjoy yourself at the ball?”
He strolled over to the bushes and broke off a few leaves that had escaped the gardeners’ care. When he turned back to her, he noticed pain pass through her eyes. Was Catherine who Brianna and Abigail referred to? He hadn’t seen her since sharing that one waltz.
“I suppose some found it more pleasurable than others. What about you?” Her eyes intently surveyed him as she stood and moved toward him. “Did anything significant occur last night?”
“Significant? Is there something more specific you wish to ask?”
She bit her lip as her eyes briefly fell to his chest, then settled back on his face. What did she think happened? His mind retraced every move he made and every conversation he held. The only thing he could think of was the uncomfortable kiss he and Miss Glace shared. That had been a mistake.
He supposed he would become accustomed to feeling nothing when kissing a woman, but he didn’t like it. Accepting his new life would prove more difficult than he expected.
A solitary tear escaped from one of Catherine’s eyes. Her pain stabbed at him, making it difficult to breathe. Touching her face, he brushed the moisture away with his thumb. Her lips parted as she leaned toward him. Knowing it was wrong didn’t change how much he wanted nothing more than to kiss her and enjoy the escape for a time.
Bending his head down, he lowered his mouth to lightly touch hers. She wound her arms around his neck in an attempt to bring him closer to her. However, he, being taller and stronger, held back, content to rain tender kisses across her beloved face. The world demanded too much with its selfish passage of time, but he refused to rush. He would keep her here forever.
By the time Catherine stepped back, Jonathan could barely hear over the need echoing in his body. A need to take what she willingly offered. A need to possess her. A need to own her. He reached out to bring her back to him, but she stepped away, just outside of arm’s length.
His mouth twisted as bitterness invaded his senses. He should have expected her rejection. “If you don’t have anything in particular you wish to discuss, I must be on my way. I have a pressing engagement today.”
He saw her cringe over the word “engagement” and wondered if she knew he planned to propose to Miss Glace after tea. He knew the girl had been expecting him to ask, and he saw no reason to postpone.
“I do,” she rasped, then promptly cleared her throat.
“Well,” he prompted.
She stood there, wringing her hands as she stared at his chest. What was wrong with her?
“Jonathan,” she began as her gaze slowly moved up to his. The love he saw shining at him took his breath away. He wanted to close his eyes, knowing remembering it later would be too painful.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“I love you.” Her words shoved a knife into his heart. She loved him, but she wouldn’t marry him. “I’ve loved you from the second you caught me trespassing on Linwood property, and I have continued to every second since then. Over the years, I have married twice, but those men meant nothing to me. You held my heart.”
Jonathan couldn’t move. Every muscle in his body ceased to function, except his heart. It rapidly pounded in his chest to the point he thought the organ would burst.
Catherine loved him.
Did he dare believe it? And why would she tell him now? When it was too late?
“I want to be with you always. You complete me. Will you marry me?”
His head reared back at the force of the blow. Was she toying with him? She already had a betrothed. Jonathan’s unmoved gaze fixed upon her as he tried to determine what game she played.
“Please say something.”
“You made it clear to me that my only worth was between the sheets,” he reminded her, keeping his voice even. “If you’re looking for another tumble, you don’t have to put up the charade to get one.”
She took a step forward and touched his arm, but he moved away. “That’s not what I want. I want to marry you.”
“What about Dudgery?”
“I informed him last night that I couldn’t marry him.” She held her head up and her shoulders back.
Closing his eyes, he tried to come to terms with the new information. How could this be possible? Could he truly have everything he wanted in life? Although his reservations began to dissolve, he couldn’t squelch the doubt. After all, she’d rejected him twice.
“If this is all true, why did you deny me?” He opened his eyes, needing to see the answer in her eyes.
Catherine sighed. “The night we were to run away together, my father caught me. He locked me in my room all night while I screamed at the door. In the morning he told me he’d kill you if I ran off and married you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He would have hurt you.” She turned her back on him as she wrapped her arms around herself. “After you left, I begged him to reconsider. I even told him I refused to marry anyone but you. He got so angry that day. He said that if I dared to marry anyone not approved by him, they would never live long enough to obtain enjoyment from a marriage to me.”
>
“And both your previous husbands died before the wedding night,” Jonathan added as reality dawned on him. She believed it was her father who cursed her. “So, in London you rejected me because . . .”
She spun around to face him. “I don’t want you to die. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t. If you don’t want to take a chance and marry me, I understand. I’ll be content to take any part of you that you are willing to give me.”
The misery in her eyes tore at his soul. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to find the words to say. Her lack of trust in him told him more than he wanted to hear, but could he fault her for that? She truly believed in this silly curse.
In an instant he knew what he needed to do. Grabbing her hand, he led her toward the exit of the maze. The hour had already grown late. They had no time to lose.
“Where are we going?” she asked, breathless from his quick pace.
“Gretna Green.”
Chapter 16
Catherine clutched onto her husband’s arm, unwilling to allow an inch of space to separate them. She could hardly believe she and Jonathan were married, and she refused to lose him. He smiled down at her, but she didn’t loosen her grip.
“Please provide your best rooms for me and my wife,” Jonathan said to the innkeeper, pride filling his voice.
“Yes, my lord.” The man scampered off to do Jonathan’s bidding.
Burying her face against her husband’s arm, Catherine tried not to think about the hour. She still had time, for it still remained night. But the morning would come. Bile rose in her throat as her body swayed. Why had she decided to do this? Anger at her own selfishness overwhelmed her.
“Don’t worry, Lady Linwood,” Jonathan whispered to her. “Everything will be all right.”
She offered him a weak smile but couldn’t relax herself. When the innkeeper returned, she jumped upon hearing his voice.
“My wife got my best rooms ready for ye and yer lass.” He led them down a hallway and into a bedchamber. “After a while she will be aboot with yer dinner.”
“Thank you.” Jonathan closed the door behind the burly man. Then he turned to her, a sparkle in his eyes.
Her heart pounded, pumping excitement through her blood, but she couldn’t shake the terror clawing at her insides. Was this to be the last night she would see him alive?
“We shouldn’t have done this,” she whispered.
With one raised eyebrow, Jonathan surveyed the room. “It isn’t the most fashionable of places, but we won’t have to be here long.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” Jonathan took her cold fingers between his warm ones. “I don’t know how else to assure you. Your father is gone. No one and nothing will harm me. I’m your husband now and, as such, I intend to remain living to fulfill my duties to you.”
He lifted her chin with one finger and crushed her lips with his. She never tired of kissing him and before long her desire built. The past few nights of sleeping alone in a room while knowing Jonathan remained one door away had been difficult. However, he had insisted upon keeping up as much propriety as they could in their situation, regardless that their destination was Gretna Green.
Unwilling to wait any longer, she slid his jacket from his shoulders. She had survived much too long without him. His arms left her, and she heard the material thud against the floor. Grateful he didn’t intend to stop her, she untied his cravat and lifted his shirt from his trousers. She let out a sound of protest as he grabbed her hand.
“Slow down,” he said between kisses. “We have plenty of time. First, I should inform the innkeeper we have no use for food tonight.”
After one final kiss, he slipped from her grasp and headed to the door. Panic attacked her. She ran forward and gripped his arm. Tears poured from her eyes as her throat clogged. The curse was already trying to take him away.
“What is wrong?” His arms encircled her and held her tight. “It’s all right. I won’t leave you.”
He scooted them over to sit on the edge of the bed. This was wrong. She never should’ve married him. Regret swirled through her as she clung to her husband. What had she done?
His warm hands moved up and down her back, but it wasn’t enough comfort. She needed more. Seeking his lips, she drew his head down to hers. Never before had she felt so desperate for him.
A knock at the door wrenched her away from him and brought heat to her cheeks. Jonathan had been right to wait. She felt ashamed for her wanton behavior.
“Hold that thought.” Jonathan lightly touched her cheek before answering the door. After collecting the tray, he set it on the table and returned to her.
Lifting her arms to him, she welcomed his embrace. As they fell back to the bed, he comforted her with his body. Everything was forgotten as their dinner grew cold on the table and the moon and sun fought for control of the sky.
Catherine found herself lost in a wonderful dream when morning light snuck in from the window. She curled up further in the bed, not ready to awaken. Tapping sounded in her ears, making her body cold. Her mind flooded with memories as the sound that haunted her for years had returned.
She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear the sight she knew would greet her. Tears escaped from under her lashes as her stomach rolled. The tapping stopped, then, after a few seconds, it began again.
To her surprise, the mattress shifted beneath her and then sprang up as if pressure had been released. She popped her eyes open as footsteps crossed the floor. Jonathan stood at the door, fully dressed. He cracked it open, shared some whispered words, then accepted a platter of food before closing the door again.
Letting out the breath she’d been holding, she dropped her head back on the pillow. He’d survived. As an odd thought crossed her mind, her head snapped up. Had he not enjoyed himself? Surely the curse couldn’t have been broken so easily. She had tried to remain awake all night to keep him safe, but she’d obviously failed.
“Good morning, Lady Linwood.” Jonathan’s satisfied voice washed over her. “I have procured us some breakfast.”
She stretched her arms out to him. Breakfast didn’t matter. He was alive. Jonathan had survived the wedding night. As he fell into her arms, she vowed to protect him. She wouldn’t allow the curse to make her a widow again.
Jonathan crumpled the missive in his hand and tossed it into the waiting fire before returning to his desk. Sliding another letter forward, he observed his wife under the guise of reading. She appeared haggard. Every day took too much of a toll on her. From what he could tell, she never slept, no matter how hard he tried to tire her out. She had also stopped eating. And her eyes were always upon him. Even now, she watched as if he would sustain a fatal paper cut from the letters.
Kicking his chair away from the desk, he leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose. And now this. He thought the decision to remain in Scotland through the winter had been wise, but he wasn’t so sure any longer. The letters from Rawson had become more desperate and at the moment the man needed him to return. Without his wife.
“What’s wrong?” Catherine hurried to his side, running her fingers over his head. “Are you in pain?”
He grabbed her hand and lifted her into his lap. He wanted to tell her that seeing her like this brought him pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She worried too much already without him adding to it.
“I’m much better with you here.” He nuzzled her neck. “Why don’t we get something to eat and retire early?”
“We can go straight to bed, right after you tell me what upset you.”
Jonathan sighed. “You aren’t going to like it.”
Her back stiffened as she stood, crossed the room, then reclaimed her customary seat across from him. Her insistence to remain in here all day angered him. She should be enjoying herself while he worked, not watching his every move.
Forcing himself to his feet, he marched to the fireplace and leaned against the mantle. Marri
age wasn’t supposed to be like this.
“I have to return to Linwood.”
“I expected this. After all, we can’t live in Scotland forever.”
Taking a deep breath, he faced her. “True, but don’t make any plans to leave just yet. This will be a short trip, which I will make on my own.”
Catherine’s eyes widened as her hand flew to her chest. When tears welled up in her eyes, he fought to remain still. He couldn’t give in. Rawson had been adamant in his letter that Catherine not return. Although the man didn’t offer any specifics, Jonathan knew this wouldn’t be good.
“You want to leave without me? Have you tired of me so easily?”
Her voice broke, bringing him to her side. Drawing her into his arms, he stroked her hair. He hated himself for forcing her to marry him. At this point, he would give anything to get the old Catherine back.
“Don’t be silly. The trip will be over so quickly you will not even have a chance to miss me. Or perhaps you’ll find my absence refreshing and request I make my visit more permanent.”
His attempt to tease her failed as she didn’t respond, only gripped him tighter. He made a note to speak with Rawson about her. Surely her cousin could offer a suggestion. Jonathan took in the purplish area beneath her eyes. He also planned on discovering what Rawson knew about the curse. Perhaps if Catherine saw proof of it being false, she would snap out of this.
The following day when he left her, he noticed how she stood outside watching him until he reached too great a distance to see the lone figure in the road. He had no idea if she ever left that spot. Due to his concern over her, he pushed his stallion hard, covering the ground at a much swifter rate than his previous trip to Scotland.
As the miles moved behind him, he wondered if he’d done the right thing in leaving her. Simply because Rawson perceived danger didn’t mean she wouldn’t be safe at Linwood. He wouldn’t dream of taking her to Berwick or even venturing there himself, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t visit other places.
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