by Stacey Lynn
Struggling to get my breathing under control, I huffed out, “I’m fine. Now please, just go.”
I dropped my head, unable to look at him, and I saw his boots disappear from my vision when he did.
My shoulders sagged and I fell forward, forehead to my knees and sobbed.
I cried until my chest and lungs burned. I cried until tears soaked my knees and the dirty carpet beneath me.
I cried until my head hurt and then I cried some more.
But finally, the tears slowed until they stopped and I had nothing left to cry out.
I had nothing but fear and stupidity and misplaced lust in my head as I finally wiped away my tears and went to the bathroom.
My eyes were red and puffy and my hair matted to my cheeks.
Mascara stained my face in thick, coal-like slashes, marring me and making me look completely insane.
My swollen lips cracked when I pressed them together, and I licked them, but my tongue and mouth were dry.
“You’re a mess,” I told the mirror’s reflection before I turned on the shower.
I stood under the hot stream forever, allowing the burning water to slice pain over my skin. I rubbed my body until it was pink and raw, but even then I couldn’t erase the feel of Moscoe touching me.
Entering me.
A sob ripped from my throat right as my stomach churned.
Then I vomited all over the shower floor. I watched as the water swirled around the drain, mixing it with the nastiness. Water and teardrops mingled on my cheeks and fell to my feet.
My shoulders shook as another sob racked my body and I crouched over, my arms wrapped around my waist.
Ice needled my skin as the water cooled, but I continued scrubbing and sobbing, the soap not enough to erase it.
I needed it gone.
I needed every memory of Moscoe vanquished.
I was rinsing my hair, my back to the water and the shower door, when I heard the door open.
I spun around right as two hot and thick arms wrapped around my waist.
I barely flashed a glimpse of green scaly ink on one arm as a scream jumped from my sore throat.
“For fuck’s sake,” Finn’s voice rumbled in my ear. “You’re freezing.”
His arm let go and then a towel was thrown over my shoulders and then another around my body before an arm went behind my knees and my back and I was lifted into the air, held in Finn’s arms and pressed against his chest.
My teeth chattering, I couldn’t speak until he laid me down on a bed and curled up behind me, holding me tight against him.
“Wh-wh-what are you doing?” I stammered as my teeth clinked together.
“You’re freezing cold and have been in the shower for almost an hour. What in the hell happened to you?”
I thought of his touch on my skin. I thought of his hands gripping my hips and his fingers inside me.
I thought of Moscoe and his inky black hair and black-as-death eyes.
“N-n-n-nothing.” I pulled in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Bad dream.”
“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered again and his arms squeezed me tighter.
My entire body shivered against Finn and I felt one arm let me go and then he came back, covering us both with the covers.
He pressed it tightly over us, caging me in by his heated arms and the thick bed coverings.
“What are you doing?”
He grunted something unintelligible and then said, “Warming you up. You feel like a damn icicle.”
I tried to move away but he pulled me tighter against him.
“Stay here,” he murmured and his head dipped to my shoulder.
Between his weight and the softness in his words, I was missing something.
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to find the missing piece and put it into place, but I couldn’t.
My brain was a frozen mess.
“You shouldn’t just walk in on women in the shower,” I said when I gave up trying to figure out what I should have been realizing. And I had to lighten the moment.
Finn’s arms were around me and he was only doing it to be nice, but it still felt good.
Safe.
Protected.
I shook the thought out of my head.
“Most don’t complain,” he drawled. I suspected he’d thickened his accent intentionally as he whispered the words in my ear, but I didn’t mind one bit. “Tell me about your dream.”
I shook my head again.
No way was I talking about Moscoe.
My body shook and Finn’s arm tightened around me. He pulled me toward him, not promising anything, not saying a word.
I gulped as his hips shifted and I felt it.
Felt him. Just like in the good part of my dream.
I sucked in a breath and Finn laughed softly.
“Can’t expect this not to happen, tight little ass like yours pressed up against me.”
Heat flooded my cheeks. I turned my face away and into the pillow so he couldn’t see.
Between the rumble of his voice so close to my ear, his strong arms wrapped tightly around me, his erection pressed against me, and the vivid memory of how good he’d feel…my thighs began tingling.
I flung the covers off the bed and jumped up, taking Finn by surprise, and he let me go. My body chilled from the loss of heat and I instantly looked down to discover the towels I’d been wrapped in had stayed in the bed.
I was completely naked.
And Finn was stretched out on the bed in front of me, his eyes wide with shock…
Until they darkened into something else completely.
“Shit,” I gasped and flung one arm over my chest, the other over my lower body and spun around, searching for clothes.
I practically dove for my suitcase and rifled through it with one hand, my ass in Finn’s direction, until I found a pair of underwear and my oversized sweatshirt. I tugged them on as quickly as I could. My body still shivered when I heard him call my name.
“Meg,” he said again. I detected a slight chuckle to his voice that sounded like he was miles away.
I stood up, my cheeks and throat burning with mortification, and slowly turned to face him.
My sweatshirt covered everything, but I still felt naked when Finn stood at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest.
His eyes stayed on mine and his lips pulled into a thin line.
“Yes?”
“I don’t know what happened to you today, but if it’s because of earlier, I’m sorry as fuck that happened.”
“It wasn’t,” I started to say, but he lifted a hand to silence me.
I stood frozen in front of him, my feet unable to move and my body still trembling from the cold water.
He walked right up to me, saying nothing, and then his hands went to my hips.
“What are you—”
I didn’t get another word out before he had me tossed over his shoulder and then dropped me back down in the bed.
“You’re cold, you’ve had a shitty day. Shut up and go to sleep.”
I stiffened as the weight shifted and he rolled me so my back was to his front.
“Finn,” I warned. “This breaks my rules.”
“Shut up and sleep, Meg.”
I rolled my eyes at his words, and felt my body shiver.
It wasn’t from the cold, and it wasn’t from fear, or the memory of a dream.
Finn pulled me close to him. His breath exhaling and skirting across my ear and neck, another shiver rolled down my spine to my toes.
It warmed my skin and I closed my eyes.
And as I drifted off to sleep, I decided I liked whatever I was feeling.
I liked it a lot.
* * *
Warmth surrounded me. With my eyes closed, I felt the beginning stirrings of waking up when something behind me shifted.
And I realized it wasn’t just morning that was stirring me awake.
One of Finn’s arms was draped over my
waist, his hand had moved under my sweatshirt and settled low on my stomach. His thumb slowly slid back and forth against my sensitive skin under the waistband of my underwear.
His other hand under my shoulders was curved and holding me against him.
The palm of his hand cupped my breast.
And his lips were on my shoulder, slowly scraping back and forth on my skin.
He was warming me from the inside out, and I shuddered, exhaling a breathy moan when he tugged me toward him.
“Finn,” I whispered, and the one word caught in my throat.
“Don’t speak,” he murmured against my skin. “Forget the damn rules.”
I shifted against him, feeling him. My eyes rolled back when his fingers began pushing down my stomach and underneath my underwear.
My arousal began pulsing at the apex of my thighs.
“We can’t.” But even as I said the words, I was rocking into him, pressing against his thick erection that I felt pulsing and hardening against me.
“Sure as fuck can.” The words left his lips right as his fingers drifted lower and pressed against me.
Heat spread from my clit to my throat, choking me.
A breathy moan fell from my lips as his fingers found the perfect spot and slid across my flesh. I hadn’t been with a man in years—forever, it felt like—but in Finn’s arms, my body responded on instinct.
He helped me forget. He had protected me when he didn’t want to and even though he seemed angry with me more often than not, my body didn’t care.
I relaxed into his hold, tilted my head to give him better access to my neck…
And I gave in.
“Okay, Finn.”
Those were the two words he seemed to be waiting for, because as soon as they left my mouth, he pushed into me, his fingers rolled my sensitive nipples and my clit at the same time, and my entire body was set on fire.
“God,” I moaned and rolled to my back.
Finn shifted, moved above me and took my sweatshirt in his hands, whipping it off my head. “I want you,” he said, his light brown eyes darker in the lack of light. “Tired of holding it back, too.”
My need for him…for something…sent shivers down my spine and my body quivered under his look and his words.
I wanted him, too. He was so large, defined, and ripped, and seemed like he could conquer the world.
And as his head dipped, his stubble scraping the column of my throat, my legs widened to make room for him between them.
“Me too,” I sighed, the words catching in my throat. My hands went to the back of his head, trying to find purchase as he rocked his boxer-covered erection against me.
And then his hands began to move. It wasn’t tender. It was fast and frenzied as we lost control of our senses. They went everywhere. He fondled my breasts and teased my nipples. His rough hands roamed my abdomen until one fell to my underwear and he began tugging them down in earnest.
Everywhere he touched, my body tightened and shook.
“Need more,” I groaned. My hands fell to his shoulders when his fingers brushed my sensitive, swollen flesh. I could feel myself grow wet under his rough ministrations.
I needed him on me. I needed the weight of him, but I didn’t get it. My head shook back and forth when he kept pressing against me, not entering me, and he was driving me crazy, but he didn’t do more than tease me.
“Finn,” I growled, not recognizing my voice. “I need you.”
“Fuck, darlin’,” he said, his voice thick and heavy. “So fuckin’ wet for me.”
Our eyes met, and I saw a confused look in his. I blinked. I couldn’t look at him like this, conflicted in wanting me.
I closed my eyes and turned my head away. “Please…stop teasing me. It’s been so long.”
It didn’t even occur to me to be embarrassed over the admission, and it snapped something inside him, because in moments he shifted and was back in front of me, on his knees, my thighs draped over his, and his hand was jerking his thick erection.
My eyes widened and I licked my lips. “Holy shit.” I gasped, watching his thick hand tug on his shaft.
His eyes met mine and he smirked. “I know,” he said, and for the first time I saw something similar to amusement in his eyes.
“You’ll rip me apart,” I said and looked down at his thick dick. He was big. And long. And hell if him jacking himself off wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. I reached out and covered his hand with mine and helped him.
He released a low moan when my thumb slid over his tip and his abs tightened.
“I’ll go slow.” His words fell over me like a promise and somehow soothed my concern.
Still, I shook my head and gripped him harder. My fingers barely touched when I wrapped around his shaft and his own hand fell away.
“Harder,” he demanded. “Use both hands.” He fell forward, his hands by my elbows, and I did what I was told, teasing him and tugging him. “That’s it, Meg. Faster.”
“God, that’s hot,” I whispered and glanced up at him. His eyes weren’t on me, though—they were watching me jack him off, and a sense of power and control flooded me. I was doing this to him, this man who always seemed so in control of everything, and my core began clenching, needing him inside me.
I shifted on him, spread my thighs and began rocking myself against his cock even as I jerked him off. He grew slick with my own juices and I watched as he squeezed his eyes shut.
When he lifted his head, opened his eyes, and met mine—I inhaled a breath.
He looked like he was being destroyed.
“I need you,” I said and watched his eyes flash.
“Condom.” He gasped, tripping over the word. A smile spread on my lips because I was doing this to him…I was driving him crazy, and God…it’d been so long since I had felt like this…felt so wanted and desired and beautiful to any man.
“IUD,” I told him, shaking my head. “And it’s been…a long time…”
Embarrassment began creeping up my cheeks at the admission this time, but I couldn’t think straight. Had I been able to, I might have reconsidered him going bare inside of me. But I was too caught up in the moment and when Finn’s forehead dropped to mine, I didn’t care.
“Always safe, Meg. Always.” His voice tightened…in pain or in lust I didn’t know. All I knew was that somehow, his unwillingness to be inside me…hurt. Like I couldn’t be trusted. Or I wasn’t good enough.
I flinched slightly when he moved away and came back, condom in his hands.
Nerves began building when he rolled it on and I couldn’t look at him. He must have noticed the shift because his hand cupped my cheek.
When he turned my head and I met his gaze, his eyes softened fractionally. “Not about you.”
His hand was still on his dick, and I looked down and nodded, still not fully believing him…but I still wanted him.
Because God…he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. So hardened and it wasn’t just his muscles.
Finn personified a man who had seen dark shit in his life and barely survived.
I wanted to ask him what the pain in his eyes was about, but when he rubbed the tip of himself against me, all rational thought fled my brain. All I could think was yes, yes, yes and more, more, more.
“Oh hell,” I breathed out as he began pressing inside me. My eyes squeezed shut and my head fell back against the pillow. My back bowed off the bed and my thighs tightened.
I couldn’t. No way could I take him.
“Relax, Meg.” Finn’s hands went to my inner thighs. He spread them wider, opening me to him and massaging them at the same time.
My eyes opened to see him above me, eyes fixed on mine even as his hips began rocking slowly.
The thickness of him…the warmth…and the strength of him sliding inside me—God, it felt good.
I swallowed and did my best to relax. Then I focused on enjoying every single second it took for him to seat himself inside me.
> “Fuck, you’re so damn tight,” he groaned.
I felt full of him. “You’re so damn big,” I admitted on a breathy moan.
It earned me a small, husky chuckle when Finn’s head dipped down to my temple. The girl in me smiled, knowing he didn’t laugh often. He was quiet, occasionally sarcastic. But I rarely heard Finn laugh.
The deep rumble was beautiful. Like sunsets and dolphins in the ocean and chocolate mint cookies.
It took my breath away. And then he did it again when his hips pulled back and he began to move.
As his body began rocking above me, I felt his movements everywhere. His chest pressed against mine, hardening my nipples, and every time he rolled his hips, his pelvis hit my clit and inside in such perfect precision.
Jesus. The man could fuck.
I did nothing except respond to his movements and soon I saw his control begin to break. His hands and mine fondled each other in a frantic pace as he pushed harder and faster until I felt like he could break me.
My heart thundered in my chest and everything went hazy when he shifted back on one arm, sliding a hand between us to press against my clit.
“God…so fucking good,” he groaned, looking at where our bodies met and rocked together. The sounds of my slick flesh, welcoming him…needing him…grew in the room until it all coiled into a tight ball and then exploded.
I leaned forward and clamped my teeth around his bicep as I completely fell apart beneath him.
“Holy shit,” he groaned when I bit him. “So damn hot.”
His hips moved faster, his fingers worked me harder, and just as I crested again, I felt him spasm. His hips pushed forward and into me one last time and his head dropped to my shoulder. He let loose such an animalistic growl that I was certain I would never forget it.
It was so good, so feral, I wanted to rewind the last ten seconds and record it so I could hear it over and over again.
The memory alone had me spasming one last time as he slowly rolled his hips inside me, a miniature tremor left me breathless.
Still panting, willing my heart rate to slow, I gasped when he abruptly pulled out. One hand on the base of the condom and his dick as he did it.
He let out a low, rumbling “Fucking hell” when he slid out of me. His eyes met mine and that ache I’d felt earlier grew until I wanted to press my hand to my chest to see if I could feel the pain he’d just caused me with his withering glare and abrupt removal.
