He looked at her, wanting to say something, to thank her simply for being, but the words wouldn’t form. Instead tears fell from his eyes in big, wet drops.
She held him, reassured him with a kiss, and made him feel warm.
“I love you, Mai,” he finally whispered.
Mai squealed with elation before pouncing on him and smothering him with more kisses.
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Hol was dreaming. She had had this dream or one like it with increasing frequency over the last eight months. How many times now she didn’t know, but it had become familiar and welcome.
She dreamt that Jav Corso had not died, that they had entered into a beautiful and unfettered relationship. Their life together was idyllic. They fought the enemies of the Empire together, and they always won. They went on exotic vacations together, and they exulted in each other without end. Everyone respected them for their strength, their skill, their moral character, and for the example they set as an ideal, perfect couple. They were all anyone in the Empire could ever aspire to be, and they were happy.
One fact that Hol never realized while dreaming, but never failed to recognize on waking, was that though it was perhaps supposed to be Jav Corso, the man in her dreams was in fact Jav Holson. Very soon after Jav left for Cov Merasec’s school, Hol found herself in the unaccustomed habit of thinking about him constantly. She quickly realized that she missed him. She wasn’t sure if the dreams started before or after this realization, but she had a pretty good idea of what the dreams were telling her. In the beginning she felt guilty both because she was betraying Jav Corso’s memory and because a teacher could never act on such feelings for a student. But the more the dreams came, the more comfortable and right it felt. Just thinking about Jav would make her smile and she took new pleasure in watching A Fad of Me Academy, often imagining herself as one the main characters in her always-amorous exploits.
She told absolutely no one of her developing feelings and often joked with herself, thinking that only the Emperor knew, which may or may not have been true. She couldn’t ignore now that she had felt liberated by his words to her prior to the preliminary match, and like many, she wondered futilely at the extent of the Emperor’s knowledge and prescience. Perhaps he did know, but it didn’t matter.
As she awoke she did so smiling and promised herself she would wait no longer. Though she knew that the Javs of past and present were different, they had begun to merge to some degree in her mind, and so it was natural, fated in fact, that she and Jav should begin again after the initial and lengthy interruption. She decided there in her soft bed that she would seduce him, and the thought excited her in a way that was almost completely new to her. That he would respond she had no doubt. If not because of the “history” they shared, then simply because of the way she knew he looked at her. She knew that her body fascinated him and had thought it nothing more than a cute and endearing facet of youth, but now she saw it as confirmation of an inevitability if not license for what she planned to do.
• • •
Everyone saw Gast Froster off and the rest of the day was spent reviewing what Jav had learned while away. He showed them his newly acquired movement skills, which made him look light and exceedingly agile. He couldn’t fly like Ren, but gravity appeared to affect him little. He told each of the girls to attack him with all they had and the best of them would be rewarded with a glimpse of his newest, most enigmatic technique.
Something like a sneer and a grin formed on Mei’s face, and she was first to try. Jav avoided her easily, though, casually, as if she were merely passing by and not really trying to injure or even kill him. He said nothing and merely waited for the others to come, being careful with his blocks since his gravity rating was much higher now than everyone else’s. The girls came at him like they had on his first day almost five years ago, only this time he was perhaps stronger—or at least more dangerous—without the Ritual Mask than he had been then with it. And this time, he was in complete control of the fight, operating entirely in defense and smiling all the while. He had as yet not used the displacement technique, had not needed to, and so he invited Hol to join in the fray, simply saying, “Teacher?”
“Impertinence!” she said with a wry smile as she entered into the fight.
She drew very close to Jav and challenged him to a duel of infighting. He matched her the best he could, but became flustered when she twisted and he felt her breast press against and draw across his forearm. Her eyes sparkled with intent, and her grin didn’t falter as she activated the Charging Fork and struck. That was sufficient threat to trip the displacement.
Everyone, including Mei, gasped at what they saw. What a fantastic technique it was. Of them all, Hol was of course the most intimately acquainted with the scope and subtleties of AI and was therefore the most impressed. In all AI disciplines there was the practice of exceeding infinity, but what they really did was proceed measurably through imagined infinity in a finite space to achieve a relatively small advance in position in that normal, finite space. For Jav, there was no measurable progress through imagined infinity; he simply arrived at his new destination with no ties to his original position.
Hol was speechless. She stared at Jav with a mixture of awe and unfamiliar, though not at all unpleasant, hunger. She knew that she had made the right choice and simply waited until evening to act on it.
• • •
Sometime after dinner, Jav was informed by one of the staff that Hol wished to see him. There was nothing unusual in the request so Jav gave it no thought at all. When he arrived at her door, was given permission to enter, and rounded the partition that hid her spacious quarters, though, he was shocked. She rose from her big bed and stood before him, commanding his attention with her presence alone. She was wearing a sheer white, sleeveless nightgown that came down to mid thigh, but which concealed absolutely nothing. She stepped forward and did something that to Jav confirmed the fact that he must be dreaming: she pulled the nightgown over her head, flung it carelessly onto the bed, and came yet closer.
Jav couldn’t move. He was in shock and could do nothing more than swallow uncomfortably and stare brazenly.
Hol smiled. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”
“Teacher?” he managed to stammer.
She stood stark naked before him now. Her body was amazing, like cut marble and overwhelmingly feminine. Jav continued to stare dumbly and couldn’t help but be aroused. Taking his reaction for consent, she smiled cunningly as she moved even closer and began to undress him.
Jav’s mind was whirling. This could not be happening. Was he really still back on that pirate ship, choking on his own blood as it seeped out and formed an ever-widening pool around him? If not, what had come over his teacher? He and Mai had joked about how their own relationship may have fit right in on A Fad of Me Academy, but this new development was almost too close to script, and it was decidedly unfunny.
But she was serious. Someone like Laedra Hol would never go this far for a prank—would never even consider a prank. Was this some kind of weird test? What should he do? What could he do? He respected her more than anyone, but probably would have dived blindly into this fantasy if not for one thing: he was already in love.
The air was choked in his chest, but he finally managed in a cracked voice, “Teacher, we can’t do this.”
She giggled and reached down taking hold of him. “Why not?”
He swallowed hard. “You told us. You said that this sort of thing wouldn’t be tolerated.”
“I made the rule so I can break the rule. Haven’t you ever broken the rules, Jav?”
“But Teacher—”
“Shhh. Call me Laedra,” she said as she drew him back and down to the bed.
What followed was not altogether unpleasant for Jav, but when it was finished he felt inconsolably guilty.
Hol was oblivious to this, was in a fantastic mood herself, and took Jav’s silence for fear of discovery by the others
or simple and understandable shock. Discovery to her was immaterial. She would not broadcast their relationship, but nor would she go out of her way to hide it. And if it was shock, well, that would pass.
As they lay there, Jav began to realize with sickening clarity that this was just the beginning of something Hol was determined to continue.
6. FINAL COMPETITION
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Everyone on 1287 knew that Jav had entered Hol’s bedroom, but no one spoke of it or the change that followed. Hol was very different now. She often appeared, by her words and her actions, to be the youngest by far of anyone at the villa. In taking Jav for her own, she had found a kind of empowerment. The change left no one unaffected.
Lili was still away with the Cultural Studies Division on their expedition. Finding the new, less regimented atmosphere and some of the obvious personal tensions that had developed uncomfortable, Sessa asked casually and innocently enough if she might not be allowed visit her friend for a time, as Lili must be somewhat lonely for her comrades. Hol gave it almost no thought and sent Sessa to the dark side of the planet with nothing but a smile. There were no required promises of daily practice, no usual exchanges of free time for extra training, and no scheduled date for her return. Sessa had gone off to pack, nervous nearly to the point of fear that the situation would reverse itself explosively, but it never did, and Hol, with the rest, graciously saw Sessa off when she left.
Both Amia and Tani took the change in stride. Besides Jav, they had always been the most self-motivated of Hol’s students, so their teacher’s new, relaxed, almost lackadaisical approach to training, didn’t bother them so much, except when it slowed or put off learning a new, advanced technique.
As Jav demonstrated his ability and prowess over the years, the twins had come to respect him, but now that he was the recipient of Hol’s obvious and at times enthusiastic affection, that respect had taken on the quality of something like awe bordering on worship. Both believed that he must possess some near-magical quality that was surely awakened by his relentless training and that such was available to any who wished to pursue it. So the twins continued their training, motivating themselves and each other, and were always ready for anything from Jav, which might, likely as not, be taken as profound. His exasperated sighs and eye rolling were all part of the enigma.
Mei, too, saw some kind of magic, unidentifiable quality in Jav, but to her it mocked everyone around him. It teased and revealed how ridiculous it was to strive. The man was blessed, she was convinced, and it was unfair. All his hard work was a front, a way to slowly ease everyone into credulity. Mei had been training longer than he had—everyone here had—and what did it mean? What did it count for when compared to him? His participation in the Artifact Competition was a front, too. Would the Emperor really risk the loss of one of his Shades, even a temporary one, to chance? Jav had been given everything: an Artifact, privileged access to the best training, and even the hearts and minds of her friends and teacher. Laedra Hol, legendary Shade, First Specialist of the Triangle Squad, master of the Eighteen Heavenly Claws—she had accomplished so much, lived several lifetimes even, and still she had fallen for Jav’s hollow charms and unfairly gifted powers, reduced in the end to a schoolgirl with a crush.
Mei would not lose to Jav. She may not be able to beat him in a fight—that long-coming, painful realization was now behind her—but she would not like him. She would never accept him. To her, he would always be the intruder who destroyed her chances to become a Shade, one who would serve the Empire with real, hard-won strength and skill.
Depending upon her own mood, she saw Hol as either fragile or already broken. At times Mei believed Hol might still be saved, and at such times she treated her teacher with delicate care, as an invalid with the potential to recover from a chronic and debilitating illness. At other times, however, Mei saw Hol as conquered, fallen, as something to be despised. At these times, Mei was always curt in her interaction with Hol and often spoke acidly under her breath, but only the other students noticed. Hol was too happy, or at least too preoccupied, to see such dark and insubordinate behavior.
To some degree, Mao saw Hol as her older half-sister did. To Mao, Hol had indeed fallen. The once-proud woman, whose name and military exploits were known throughout the Empire, had reverted to a selfish—and currently spoiled—little girl. Mao didn’t begrudge Hol falling in love—if it was love—since everyone was entitled to that, but as their teacher, Hol had responsibilities which were not being met. That she so easily broke her own rules reduced her substantially in Mao’s opinion. Hol’s behavior was obvious and hard to ignore, but had she made some kind of statement about their affair and acknowledged that she had been mistaken in making such restrictions in the first place, Mao might have been able to maintain some modicum of respect for her teacher. But Hol had done nothing so mature. She took Jav as hers when he already belonged to Mai.
Mao knew that it was perhaps unfair to blame Hol for unknowingly coming between Mai and Jav, but then again Hol, as their teacher, should have been above such attachments and desires, or at least above acting upon them. And she had come between Mai and Jav. Mai was crushed. She went through the motions of training, but she did so without any of the spirit and beauty that once characterized her performance of the Eighteen Heavenly Claws. Mai may have smiled, but it was always a sad smile, dressing a deeper and complete sadness and sense of loss that everyone but Hol seemed to recognize. More than anything, Mao had come to resent Hol for what she had obliviously done to Mai.
Jav told Mai immediately after his first night in Hol’s bedroom, and she thought he was making a bad joke, tasteless and hurtful. She was angry that he would say something like that, but all Jav could do was stare at her earnestly with eyes that insisted he was telling the truth. Then fresh anger, raw and many-sourced overwhelmed her: first that Jav would betray her; then that their teacher could be so hypocritical, that she would take Jav from her; and finally that the future she envisioned had turned so quickly into an impossible dream.
Mai still loved Jav, that fact she could not and would not change, so they discussed their options. Jav wanted to tell Hol the truth and put an end to what she intended to continue. Neither Jav nor Mai could imagine what their teacher might do if she found out, though. Would she punish them? Would she kill one or maybe even both of them? The final competition was less than six months away. If they did something to jeopardize Jav’s participation, the Ritual Mask would surely fail before too long now and take his life. In the end, Mai wanted to take no chances with Jav’s life, and so they decided to endure the situation the best they could. After the competition, if they were to have a future at all, Jav would become a Shade, and aside from his duties to the Emperor, would be free to make his own decisions. Mai would quietly leave the school, and they would be together in secret as long as was necessary. Jav could claim to be too busy with his new position to have time for Hol, and Mai had no problems with a life confined to Jav’s bedroom—not that every aspect of their relationship depended on the bedroom, but she was willing to do whatever proved necessary to be with him.
And so they endured, each acting his or her part, and each failing at it a little more each day. Jav’s mood was black. He took joy infrequently from little. Whenever she looked at him, Mai found it more difficult to hold back her tears. Her anger had been completely spent, and only sadness remained. As the daily threat of her tears increased, Jav’s manner grew ever darker, and he in turn grew colder to Hol who had finally begun to notice—at least at the very fringes of her perception—that everyone was acting a little strangely.
With just over four months still left to go before the final competition, Jav could bear the threat and sight of Mai’s tears no longer, and he refused Hol for the first time. That was three nights ago. Hol had been surprised, but more or less satisfied lately so she let it go without much thought. Then he refused her the next two nights and forced her to realize that the atmosphere at the school—an
d not just in her bedroom—had indeed changed.
This morning, after his third refusal, Hol followed Jav from her quarters out to the sparring block, demanding to know what had changed, why he had become so cold to her.
The other five girls were waiting for them and Jav, glancing at Mai’s face, which held a wan glimmer of hope, sighed with tired frustration and said nothing. He tried to join the others, hoping that they could resume some semblance of their old training routines, however forced, but Hol was insistent. She grabbed his shoulder, and in front of everyone demanded an answer. “Tell me, Jav! What is it? What’s changed?”
Jav stepped back and away from her, folded his arms and said flatly, “Nothing’s changed.”
She looked at him and awareness began to seep in; how in the beginning he had protested; how every time thereafter he had accepted her in silence, perhaps even in resignation, never once offering any indication of desire, of gratification, of love. She realized for the first time that though Jav shared her bed, their affair was purely one-sided.
“Nothing’s changed,” Hol repeated without inflection. “Why Jav?” Now real and focused anger began to tinge her words. “Was I too late? Did you grow tired of me while waiting?”
Jav cocked his head in confusion.
“Or does someone else have you snared?” Hol looked at the girls before her, appraising each in turn, then looked back at Jav. “Is it youth that appeals to you?”
Mei snorted. “Don’t you know, Teacher?”
Mao shot a stabbing look at Mei. Everyone else, including Mai, tried to look uninterested as their nerves began to shake them.
The Artifact Competition (Approaching Infinity Book 1) Page 20
