by April Kelley
God, Jalen didn’t know if he wanted to see the mating bite on Rico’s shoulder or if he hoped it wasn’t there at all.
He didn’t even think he could knock on the conference room door and walk into that room if Rico was in it. He wouldn’t be able to take Rico’s stare. He could already practically picture it in his mind, those dark brown eyes boring a hole in him until he could see inside Jalen’s soul. Once he saw that, Rico would realize Jalen was still the scared boy he had been when Wizz had died. Rico would know Jalen didn’t know how to be brave about anything. And Rico would definitely see that Jalen had no idea what he was doing and never really had.
The receptionist shrugged, which was the first normal gesture he’d made since they stepped into the lobby. “I don’t know. That’s a decision for the alpha to make.”
“So basically, knock and find out.” Virion led the way down the hallway and raised his fist to knock on the door.
Jalen stopped him with a hand over the raised fist. Jalen closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. “He’s in there. I just know he is. I’m gonna take one look at him and give in. I just thank fuck Markie’s not in there. Or probably not. Shit, what if he is?”
When Jalen opened his eyes, Virion gave him a sympathetic look. “Even if they don’t let me in the room, I’ll wait for you. If you want me too, I mean.”
“Yeah, man. Thanks.”
“That’s what brothers are for.”
Jalen nodded. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Fucking damn it. Jalen was right.
The second he entered the room, Rico’s dark gaze followed him as if he had a front row seat to the thoughts in Jalen’s mind. Rico sat at a long rectangular table. He was at the far wall facing the door and had a clear view of anyone coming into the room. Jalen assumed it was a soldier thing not to have his back to the door.
He wanted to look away, but it was impossible, which was probably a blessing in disguise, simply because if Jalen focused on Rico’s eyes, then he wouldn’t see a mating bite peeking out from the collar of Rico’s shirt. Or not see one. God only knew which would be the lesser of the two evils.
“Mind if I stay, Alpha?” Virion’s voice cut through the staring contest he and Rico seemed to be having, but not for long before they were back at it again. “Just moral support for Jalen.”
Alpha never answered, at least not with words, so Jalen assumed he’d shrugged his consent, because Virion moved around Jalen to sit at the table.
Rico’s eyes narrowed and he crooked his finger, silently telling Jalen to come to him.
He had no idea how to respond to that. A part of him wanted to flip Rico off. What a domineering asshole. But even as he thought it, he found himself walking around the table, standing next to Rico.
What the hell possessed him to follow Rico’s orders, he had no idea. And because he didn’t know, he decided to act like a petulant child. He crossed his arms over his chest. “What?”
“Sit.”
Jalen lifted his eyebrows and just stood until the staring contest began again. He grew uncomfortable when a slight smile turned up the corners of Rico’s mouth and Rico looked at him as if he knew something Jalen didn’t.
Someone cleared his throat. He thought it might have been Alpha Delco, but Jalen wasn’t a hundred percent sure. He couldn’t be the first one to look away.
He shuffled on his feet, distributing his weight to the other foot, and still the staring contest continued.
Finally, the smile faded from Rico’s lips, and his mouth turned down. He stared down at the table. “I fucking hate this damn room.”
Jalen uncrossed his arms. He pulled out the chair next to Rico, understanding immediately the reason why he’d been summoned over. Some piece of Rico’s past haunted him.
Jalen didn’t ask any questions but simply held out his hand with his palm up, in silent invitation for Rico to take it, which he didn’t hesitate to do.
Rico gripped his hand with just enough pressure to let Jalen know the support was appreciated.
Virion broke the silence. “I know you need Jalen’s story, and probably the rest of Rico’s as well.”
Alpha Delco just nodded and waited for Virion to continue.
“I just wanted to ask you about Casey’s post after basic training.”
Alpha Delco smiled. “Rico already put in the request. I’ll tell you the same thing I just told him. I’ll do what I can to get him stationed here, but I can’t make promises.”
Jalen looked at Rico, who smiled as he brought their joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of Jalen’s.
Jalen watched him the entire time he did it. He didn’t miss the way Rico’s lips looked pressing against his hand or how much bigger Rico’s hand was compared to his own. And he certainly didn’t miss the affection in Rico’s eyes as he watched Jalen’s every expression.
“Did you bond with Markie?” Before that moment, Jalen hadn’t intended to ask the question. He didn’t even know he would until the words left his mouth.
“No. And I won’t. Not until all three of us agree to it.”
“What if I never agree to it?”
“Then I’ll go mateless, Jalen. Markie and I won’t work without you, so there’s no fucking point trying it.”
Jalen tried to take his hand back, but Rico held on for dear life. “You’re an idiot.”
“And you’re stubborn.” Rico kissed his hand anyway. “But I want you anyway. So does Markie.”
“You can’t speak for him.”
“True. And I don’t have to. I’m sure he’ll tell you just as soon as you get enough balls to talk to him yourself.”
Jalen moved his chair back and yanked his hand away so hard he moved Rico, chair and all. He took a step away and wanted to leave the room, but he didn’t know if he could without the alpha’s permission. He would have asked, but knew the second he opened his mouth he’d break down.
God, he didn’t even know why he was having such a strong reaction to Rico’s statement in the first place. Something in his words gave him hope, because they sounded like promises. Promises were always broken, and Jalen was always the one who had to pick up the pieces when things crashed to the ground.
He didn’t know how he’d do that when he was the one who’d fall.
Someone cleared their throat again, and that seemed to be the thing that spurred Rico into making his move. Rico looked at the alpha. “Can Jalen and I give our statements later? He’s not up for it.”
Delco just nodded.
“Also, is this thing with the human army gonna cause a war? That’s all I need to know for now.”
“I can’t say for sure. The paranormal leaders won’t start a war if it’s an isolated incident. But I’m sending someone out to other human army bases to see if they’re abusing paranormals.” Alpha Delco looked at him. “We’ll talk about it later. Take care of your mate.”
The breakdown Jalen felt welling up in his chest must have shown on his face.
The next thing Jalen knew, Rico’s arms were around him, and he was whispering in Jalen’s ear. “Let me take you home, baby.”
Jalen shook his head. He wanted to tell Rico that Virion was there for him and that he didn’t need Rico. None of that would come out, though, so instead, he let Rico lead him out of the room.
Chapter Nine
Two days had passed since Markie had seen Rico, and in that time neither of his men had come to see him. It was starting to piss him off, and he was seriously thinking about finding them both as soon as he had a free moment.
When the bell dinged above the door, he looked up, hopeful it was one of them, but it was just Uri. Uri had a frightened expression on his face, which was something he’d only had one other time, when his mate had sustained injuries in battle. Something bad must have happened.
Uri came around the counter and grabbed an apron. His hands worked with a quick efficiency that spoke of how many times he’d had to repea
t the process. “Jalen needs you.”
“What happened?” Markie put the rag down on the counter.
“I don’t know. I think he’s having some type of nervous breakdown or something. I’ve never seen him like this. He just lies there staring at the wall. He won’t talk to anyone, not even me or Casey. He’s been like that for two days now.”
A red-hot cloud washed over his mind. Markie couldn’t speak for several seconds for fear he’d say something he’d regret. He pulled air in through his nose and let it out through his mouth. He repeated the process several times until his blood cooled enough for him to speak. “You worked yesterday, Uri. Why didn’t you tell me something was going on?”
“Rico told me not too. He said to give it another day. I think he worried about pulling you away from the café. You’re always here, Markie.”
Markie took off his apron and didn’t even bother hanging it up, but just threw it on the counter. “Put the help wanted sign back in the front window.”
“What do I do if anyone asks me about a job?”
“Hire them, if they seem worth it. And if I’m not back by three o’clock this afternoon, close the store.” Markie spoke as he headed for the door but when he got to it, he turned, meeting Uri’s gaze. “Thanks for covering for me.”
“Just be there for Jalen. Please.” Uri’s chin wobbled, and he looked down at the counter. “I think maybe it has something to do with our past. Being a single... it’s not... it was hard on him. Even more than Casey and I. He was always there, ya know. Always strong and always providing for us. It’s scary not knowing where your next meal is coming from or if you’ll have to fight to keep what few things you have. Jalen took on that more than Casey and I did, and we let him. And maybe we shouldn’t have.”
“None of it was your fault Uri, and it’s not Casey’s either.” Markie left the café after that. He would have stayed to console his friend, but it sounded like Jalen needed him more, so he didn’t delay any longer.
The officer’s cabins were right next to the alpha building, which happened to be the closest army building to town, so he made quick work of getting to his destination. He also ran the entire way.
He didn’t bother knocking on the door but just let himself in. Casey was leaning against the wall next to a closed door with his head down. When he looked up at Markie, it was clear he’d been crying at some point, because his eyes were red rimmed and he looked emotionally drained.
Casey nodded his head toward the door he was standing next too. “Rico’s in there with him. He won’t talk or anything. The only thing he does is roll over when the mood strikes. Rico’s trying to get him to take a shower, but he won’t move.”
Markie just nodded and walked past Casey to enter the room. Jalen and Rico’s scent combined was so strong it would have made him hard if not for the overly ripe smell of an unwashed body overriding every other smell.
Rico lay spooned up to Jalen’s back, running a hand down his arm. He whispered reassurances and called Jalen baby every other sentence.
Markie almost turned to leave the room, feeling more like an intruder than someone who could help whatever was going on. But then he focused on Jalen and the way he just stared at the wall as if the life had left his body and death had suspended him in that position. Markie walked over to him, focusing on his chest just to make sure the rise and fall was there.
Markie didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he let it out in one big whoosh of relief.
His gaze met Rico’s and held. Rico shook his head, a look of concern marring his brow. “It’s been over two days now.”
“Yeah, Uri told me.” Markie reached out, putting a hand on Jalen’s covered leg and rubbing it. “Jalen, you need to get up and take a shower.”
Nothing. He just lay there as if Markie never spoke.
“Has he left the bed at all?”
Rico shook his head. “To go to the bathroom only. I bring him food and something to drink.”
“So he’s eating and drinking?”
“Yes.”
“Then he can get up to take a shower.” Markie couldn’t keep the irritation out of his voice. He pulled the blankets off both men so hard they lay on the floor at his feet. “He’s not staying in bed like that. It’s fucking ridiculous that you even let him, Rico.”
If Markie’s heavy-handedness pissed Rico off, he never showed it.
He might not have a right, but someone had to stop coddling Jalen long enough to break him out of his catatonic state.
“Right after Hamid died, for like weeks, I lay in bed not moving. It was because I didn’t want to hurt anymore, so I thought if I just didn’t move maybe I could shut it off. Eventually I couldn’t contain it anymore, and when the emotion did come, it was like a flood. If it’s the same for you, delaying the inevitable will make it worse, Jalen.” Markie ran his hand along the bare skin on Jalen’s leg. He could feel the crisp hairs against his fingers. “Get up, or Rico will lift you. Either way, you’re getting out of bed.”
Jalen blinked but otherwise didn’t move. At all.
Markie nodded his head in a silent demand to Rico. To Rico’s credit, he stood and lifted Jalen into his arms without question.
Jalen never made a noise, but he did wrap his arms around Rico’s shoulders and seemed to cling to him as if he was the only lifeline Jalen had.
Markie led the way out of the room, heading to the bathroom. He stripped even before Rico and Jalen entered. He was just pushing his pants and underwear down when Rico carried Jalen through the door. Rico stopped in the doorway for a second but apparently got over Markie’s naked form quickly.
He adjusted the water in the shower, making sure it was warm enough. “Put him down, Rico.”
At first, when Jalen’s feet hit the floor, his legs were like gelatin. Rico held him up but sighed in frustration for the first time since Markie had arrived.
Markie walked over to them and grabbed Jalen’s face in his hands, cupping his cheeks, forcing Jalen to meet his gaze. Jalen did, but his eyes held a defiance that Markie wasn’t expecting. “Stand up, Jalen. If you don’t, you’ll sit on the shower floor. Either way, you’re getting in there.”
“Is this a good idea? Forcing him?” Rico giving Jalen a way out wasn’t helping the situation, but Markie had to focus on one problem at a time. He’d deal with Rico’s behavior later.
Markie released Jalen’s face, giving Rico enough space to move him.
“He needs to break out of his stupor. The sooner he deals with whatever he needs to, the better he’ll feel. Now, can you put him under the spray?”
“With his underwear on?”
Markie shrugged. “I’ll get them off in the shower.”
Rico looked at Markie skeptically, but Markie just lifted on his toes to give Rico a kiss on his cheek. “Taking a shower won’t hurt him. I know you’re being protective, but he needs a bit of tough love right now.”
Rico turned his head and pressed his lips against Markie’s for a real kiss. It was quick but hard, making clear the desperation Rico felt. Markie didn’t fully comprehend how Jalen’s psychosis was affecting Rico so much until that moment. If the kiss had gone deeper, he might have gotten hard, but Rico ended it before it could go any further. As much as Markie would like nothing more than to spend all day kissing both of his men, the situation didn’t warrant it.
Markie smiled reassuringly, meeting Rico’s gaze before trailing his eyes down to Jalen. Jalen laid his head on Rico’s shoulder, facing Markie. He stared at some place over Markie’s head. Since Markie was shorter than both men, that wasn’t very hard to do.
Markie sighed and turned to the shower, climbing in. He beckoned Rico forward when he got settled. “Right under the spray.”
To Markie’s surprise, Jalen did what Markie said on his own. He let go of Rico and took a step away to take off his underwear before getting into the shower. He stood directly under the spray, the water running do
wn his face in a heavy curtain. He kept his eyes closed and hand on the wall to brace himself.
Markie looked at Rico, who stood inches from the open shower door, watching them both with keen, watchful eyes only a protective mate would have. Rico clearly included Markie into his protective cocoon, too.
Markie grabbed the washcloth that hung on a small clear bar and soaped it up. “Wash yourself, Jalen.” He held it out for Jalen to take and waited.
Jalen took a half-step toward him and opened his eyes. Markie’s stomach fluttered when Jalen’s gaze met his and held. His heart melted when Jalen’s chin began to wobble.
When Jalen reached out, Markie thought he was going for the washcloth, but he grabbed Markie’s wrist instead and pulled him into his chest.
Markie put the cloth back on the rack before wrapping his arms around Jalen. Markie was a few inches shorter than Jalen, but still tall enough for his lips to reach the underside of Jalen’s jaw.
“It’s okay to let go. You don’t have to hold it in anymore.”
Jalen buried his face in the groove of Markie’s neck and held Markie so tight it was almost painful. He sobbed quietly, letting the tears flow.
Markie didn’t say anything more, and neither did Rico, who kept a hand on Jalen’s back. Water dripped down Rico’s arm onto the tile floor at his feet, soaking it, but neither of them cared about anything but Jalen.
Markie slowly turned them so the water from the shower wasn’t beating down in the same spot on Jalen’s back. He kissed Jalen wherever he could reach periodically just to show him enough affection to prove that they were there for him.
Jalen mumbled something, but it was barely audible.
“What did you say?”
Jalen lifted his head just enough to whisper in Markie’s ear. “I can’t be strong anymore.” His voice broke halfway through, and the sobbing grew in intensity.
It was Rico who responded. “You don’t have to be.”
“I can’t.”
Rico opened his mouth to speak again, but Markie spoke before him, cutting him off. “What can’t you do?”
