“Fuck that!”
He peels himself off the bed and grabs his shirt off the floor. A giggle tickles my throat.
“Come on, baby. Stay back here with me.”
I stretch my arms out for him, giving him a playful grin. Tristan stills with his back to me as he slides open my door with one hand. He uses the other to tug the smooth, black material of his shirt down his back. Twisting his neck over his shoulder, Tristan’s dark eyes glisten and he gives me this dangerous, half smile, showing only half his open mouth. Fuck…
“You keep talking like that, Sophia, then everyone on this bus is going to hear me fuck the shit out of you,” he warns me seductively.
Holy shit!
I gasp, my heart stopping and my core clenching at Tristan’s brutal words. I’m sure they probably have already heard us quite a few times, obviously, but with how Tristan’s staring at me, with his eyes penetrating mine, I just fucking know he would have something up his tattooed sleeve for me to lose total freaking control.
“Fine, then.” I lean back, trying to brush it off. “Go out there and play warfareness.” I gesture with my hand in the air in front of me.
I have no clue what kind of games my boys play. Anything with guns, I know that. Tristan slides the door shut behind him, shaking his head ‘no’ at me.
“I don’t think so.” His deep voice sounds rich with warning. “Now, I’m thinking I just want to play with you.”
“YO!” Roger’s voice booms through the bus.
That stops Tristan, but he’s still giving me that piercing look that sends shrills throughout me.
“Y-yeah?” I choke out.
Tristan’s grin grows wider ’til it reaches his signature, all-teeth-showing, dropping-my-panties-anytime-anywhere style smile.
“Shut up,” I whisper yell at him.
Reaching behind me and grabbing a pillow, I chuck it at him my hardest, which right now just so happens to be lame. He chuckles and turns back around, sliding the door open right before Roger comes up to it.
“Just wanted to see if you guys want in on this jay before we get to Milwaukee?” Roger twists his wrist around, showing not a joint, but a blunt, to Tristan and me.
Tristan’s back tenses for a moment, then he shakes his head.
“Nah.”
Roger’s face drops.
“Really? Nah, you guys must be fucking, right?”
Roger glances over Tristan’s shoulder at me, confusion and maybe even a little concern on his face. Almost two weeks of turning down pot, along with my fake diagnosis and staying camped up back here for the past couple days as we drive from Houston... I know shit is starting to look weird.
“Okay…” he says slowly.
“Give us a sec,” Tristan mumbles.
Roger slides the door shut behind him when he leaves. Tristan turns back around, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his eyebrow up at me.
“What?” I shrug my shoulders. Shit.
“What?” Tristan mocks.
Cocking his head to the side, he points his chin at me.
“Think you better get your ass out there with me right now and have a chat with your boys.”
I feel blood draining from my face. Stunned silent, Tristan shakes his head at me. Unfolding his arms, he walks over to the other side of the bed I’m sleeping on and leans over me to give my back a reassuring rub.
“Fuck, Tristan. I know,” I say in defeat and look down, my hair falling around me.
Tristan stands back up and gestures at my door with the side of his head.
“Come now.”
“Shit, Tristan. Just give me five minutes,” I say, frustrated.
“Nah… you don’t need five minutes,” he says back cockily.
“Quit telling me what I fucking need, okay?” My voice rips with anger.
I glare up at him and he smirks back down at me, some of his thick hair falling in his face. Tipping his chin up, the loose pieces fall back. Uncrossing his arms again, he jabs his index finger in the direction of the door.
“My girl, I’m going out there, and you’re going with me.”He motions between our bodies with the same finger he just used for the door. “We’re letting them know, now. Can’t fucking hide this and I don’t want them getting high all the damn time when you’re in here!” he finishes strongly.
“Oh, come on,” I wave him off.“I always come back here and shut the door when they do it. Now I even have them cracking a window open out there, too.”
“That’s not fucking good enough! Shit’s gotta change!” Tristan bellows back.
Shit. I’m pretty sure the boys heard that.
“Stop being so fucking bossy all the damn time. Please…” I try to lower my voice. Smooth the situation over.
Not giving another word, Tristan abruptly picks me up off the bed by my waist. I yelp when he does.
“Shit, Tristan.”
Cradling me against his chest, he doesn’t say anything and stomps his way over to the door. With my arms around his neck, I try to wiggle my body in his arms.
“Fine! Fuck! Just put me down!” I say to him with annoyance.
Setting me down right in front of the door, Tristan keeps his right arm curled around my back, and throws open the door. Smoke from the weed billows around us.
“Fuck,” Tristan hisses, gently shoving me to the side. “Stay fucking back here and open that fucking window up.” He nods to the one directly behind me.
Tristan steps through the door and slides it shut with a little more force than necessary. I know he’s just trying to look out for the baby, but he better not take this shit out on my boys. They have no fucking clue.
Spinning on my heel, I take the few steps over to the foot of the bed and crawl across, almost losing my balance as it feels like the bus must be taking an exit ramp. Reaching the window, I slide the glass plate open as far as it will go. I sink against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.
I’m trying to listen, but it doesn’t sound like he’s saying anything to them yet. Just laughing about something. Tristan must be getting high. Fucking jerk. Well, he'd better enjoy it, because it’s gonna be the last time he enjoys pot for awhile. If I have to change, then so does he, damn it.
I mean, it’s not fair that I have to go through so much alone, right? Damn it, it’s probably my hormones setting this shit off again. I heard from Susan and she said that Lux has set it up for me to get some blood work and an ultrasound done while we’re in Milwaukee tonight. How fucking crazy is that? I thought for sure I would have to wait a couple more weeks ’til I got back to L.A. to make an appointment and find anything out.
It’s not a full-blown first baby appointment anyways, just trying to find out how far along I am and if certain levels of something are normal. I don’t really remember what Susan was saying, I was just shocked that I was going to be seeing my static little fuzz of a baby.
I wait back here in silence for about another fifteen minutes scrolling through some messages on my phone, when the door slides open. Tristan’s eyes look to be clear, but I’m not quite sure.
Tristan stands by the open door and waits, just staring at me. I quirk my eyebrow up at him, then stare back down at my phone screen.
“All clear, sir?” I look back up at him and smirk.
He doesn’t smirk back this time, but turns around and fades into the dark aisle of the bus. Ah, shit. Here we go.
I toss my phone down on the mattress, where it bounces lightly. Standing up beside the bed, I run my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans, my fingers getting tangled in the old, weathered material. There’s not even rips anymore, but massive shreds. Dragging my feet up to the door, I catch my reflection in the full mirror by it. My eyes widen when I notice the tops of my breasts popping out of my tank top. Hurrying up, so Tristan doesn’t come back here again, I yank up the material, trying to cover my freaking boobs better. I swear, they must have gotten almost a cup size bigger already
. That shit is scary. I’ve been well-endowed in that department since sixteen, but this is just ridiculous.
After fixing my top, I run both hands through my hair on the sides of my head, pulling it away from my face. I exhale a long breath I must’ve been holding in. All right, time to get this shit over with.
Coming out of the aisle and into the living area, I smile when I see Tristan hanging with my boys. He takes up most of the couch with his massive body. Roger is sitting on the coffee table with his back facing me, playing one of those games I was talking about with Jeff. Matt and Jared are sitting in the booth, turning their heads my way when I approach.
“Hey.”
Matt tips his chin up and Jared quietly nods, smirking at me before looking back down at his phone.
“I can’t figure out what the fuck that was called.” He goes back to saying something to Matt. My eyes go from them and find Tristan’s, which already have found mine.
“Come here, my girl,” he mouths to me.
My eyes scan the room real quick to see if anyone caught that. Nope, they’re all into their own shit, just hanging out like we normally would do.
I start to step over Jeff’s long legs to make my way to Tristan, but Jeff moves them over to the side so I can get by better.
“Sorry, Sophia,” he mumbles, totally involved with the game right now.
“See that? That’s what I was fucking talking about. Shit, I’m gonna die,” Roger says more to himself than anyone else, really.
When I finally step in front of Tristan, he takes my elbow gently and turns me around so that my back is facing him and guides me down onto his lap. Taking a seat, Roger just so happens to glance over.
“Oh, that’s fucking cute,” he chuckles, then goes back to his game.
Smiling at his back, I roll my eyes at him. The gruff, couple days out whiskers on Tristan’s cheek brush against the side of my face.
“Okay, baby,” is all he says before he clears his throat loudly to get everyone’s attention.
“Hey.”
Oh, shit! Tristan grips my waist more firmly as I try to scoot off of him. I don’t really want to be sitting on his lap when we tell everyone. I mean, if we were together for a while longer and the circumstances were different, then maybe. But this is still a kind of fucked up situation to be in.
“Yeah, man?” Jeff asks, his eyes still on the screen, but Matt stops and Jared is staring right at us.
“Ah…” Tristan mumbles and this surprises me.
Quickly turning my head, I glance up at Tristan and a slow smile starts to split my face. He kind of looks nervous now. See, not so fucking easy, is it? I’m savoring the fact that Tristan is uncomfortable.
“What’s up, Soph?” Roger’s voice brings me back.
Snapping my head in his direction, I notice that they actually paused the game and both he and Jeff are now staring at us. Panic starts to make my blood race. I feel Tristan's body tense as we scan each one of the guys’ faces. And they…well, they’re looking at Tristan and me as if we’ve grown a third fucking eye or something.
Biting my lip hard, I pinch my eyes tight, pretending I’m the only one here.
“I’m pregnant.”
The words just fall off my lips. Tristan’s body relaxes slightly, and I slowly open my eyes. The first thing I notice is Jeff smirking with his hat tipped over his eyes. My eyes scan slowly to the left. Roger’s face kind of reminds me of how I must have looked when I first found out. All color has drained from his face and his mouth drops open. Not giving him time to say anything, I glance over at the booth. Matt’s and Jared’s eyes are both wide like Roger’s. Jared looks quickly from me, to Tristan, and back to me while Matt just kind of shakes his head in disbelief, chuckling.
“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Just. Say?” asks Roger in a low, shocked voice.
Bringing my eyes back to his, I feel a deep rumble from Tristan’s chest behind me as he sits up more, answering Roger.
“Sophia’s pregnant,” Tristan says matter-of-factly, his confidence clearly coming back.
I’m starting to shit myself on the inside as I take in Roger’s still confused face. Pinching his eyebrows together, he looks up like he has to think about it.
“Well, congrats, you two,” Jeff pipes up in the background.
“Um…” Jared taps on the table with his finger. Tristan and I both crank our necks back to see what he has to say.
Jared keeps his eyes down, still tapping the table.
“Like with a baby?” he asks slowly, like he’s trying to make sense of it. Aw my.
“No, dumbass, with a fucking chicken,” Roger says over his shoulder, shaking his head.
A chuckle breaks through Tristan’s throat at Roger’s remark that slowly has the other guys starting to laugh out loud, too.
I stand up.
“So, yeah. Anyways…” I say to them, making my way out of there.
“What’s up?” Tristan asks from behind me.
Spinning around to face him, I gesture with my thumb over my shoulder.
“Gotta, um…use the bathroom.”
“Oh, Christ. It’s already starting,” Roger jokes.
Tristan grins at me, his dark eyes moving from mine to Roger’s.
“Holy fucking shit.” Matt shakes his head, running his hand down his face.
Giving him a small smile, I turn back around. I’m not really trying to hide from the situation anymore, but I really have to go pee.
Sliding the bathroom door closed, I hear Tristan speak up.
“Only we and Lux know about this right now. We’d like to keep it that way, hopefully ’til the fucking tour is over.”
“Yeah, man. Definitely,” someone says back, but I really can't make it out now with all the other noise of “no ways” and “that’s kind of awesomes” going on in the background.
Just then, another warm swell washes over me. I realize that I was freaking out for nothing. I mean, yeah, it’s scary as fuck and I have no clue. Another thing, I’m nervous about what my parents may think, but the band knows. Thank God, because I hated having to keep this from them. And Tristan knows now, too. Not only that, he actually fucking wants it. Is this really happening? Will he change his mind when the tour ends or I get bigger? What if we don’t work out and separate when the kid is older or something? My heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
Shut the fuck up with that now, I think to myself.
For once I actually fully agree with the bitch voice that likes to speak up in my head sometimes. Tristan’s mine, and he loves me. My friends know now and soon Tristan’s band will, too. And, in a matter of a couple hours, I will be seeing our child for the first time.
Tears pool in my eyes as the smile on my face breaks them free when my cheekbones rise. Placing my hands up to my mouth, I close my eyes and breathe in, feeling so wonderful. Something inside me just glows.
Blinking my eyes open, a few more tears leak out when I place my hands over my lower abdomen. I’ve been doing this a lot lately; pretending that I’m actually able to hold my baby in some way. Gliding my thumbs over the thin material of my shirt, I smile down at my kind of puffy abdomen and whisper...
“I love you.”
Chapter Eleven
Tristan
We’re staying in some old hotel right by the club we’re playing at tonight. Sophia just loves it. I grin down at her when we step into the elevator that is probably damn near a hundred years old.
Sliding the gate closed, I press the button for our floor, then crossing my arms, I lean my side up against the wall and stare down at her. She’s wearing one of my hoodies, with her arms wrapped around her middle. She looks like she’s swimming in the damn thing, but it’s still sexy to me.
Sophia is grinning up at me while biting the corner of her bottom lip, her blue eyes sparkling. I can already feel and see a difference in my girl. She’s finally free from hiding.
“It’s like Casablanca style here,” she says, in awe over every
little detail.
“Casa-what?”
“It’s an old movie, baby,” she laughs.
Fuck! I love it when she calls me that. My dick is already hardening and I can’t do a damn thing about it… at least ’til the doctor leaves.
“Ah-huh.”
I watch her smile fade. My eyes roam down her body. It doesn’t matter that she has on my hoodie; her fucking rack is still showing. As I scan further down, I notice that she is pressing her thighs together. Goddamn. She wants it, too.
Growling down at her, I reach out and cup her right breast. She holds her breath in, thinking I’m going to squeeze it or something. Damn, how I want to, but I know that would hurt her and I’m almost fucked up enough to get off on it.
Her breathing picks up. With my hand still on her, I graze my thumb back and forth over the curve of her luscious flesh.
“Getting wet, my girl?” I whisper gruffly.
The elevator comes to a stop. Sophia reaches up and gives my cheek a quick pinch.
“I guess you’ll never know.”
She sidesteps around me, trying to slide the gate open. With a chuckle, I reach past her.
“Let me get it.”
The iron gate effortlessly slides open. Security is already on the floor. I notice one of them right when we step off the elevator. Good. That makes me feel a little better for the safety of my girl, and my baby.
Sophia pulls the key cards out of her pocket, and I curl my arm around her, pulling her in close to me. Kissing the top of her head, I lead her down the hall.
“Are you ready?” I ask her.
Sophia wraps her arms around my middle, breathing into my chest.
“Ready for what? To see the baby?” She pulls her face from my chest and looks up at me.
“Yeah.”
I almost lose my voice. My chest burns in the right way when I think how fucking much I love this woman.
Stopping, I bend down to her. I bring my other hand up to her soft face, using my thumb and finger to lift her chin up. Kissing her tenderly at first, the feel of her soft, moist lips against mine causes a moan to rattle through me.
Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3) Page 10
