“Terri, call neonatal,” my doctor says to the nurse with her eyes still on me.
Tristan’s dark eyes widen. I think maybe the panic has gotten to him, too, but my mom stands back, smiling at me.
“Are you two going to be here for the delivery?” the doctor asks, looking at my mom first, then Tristan.
Tristan doesn’t even have to reply back, but my mom nods.
“Great!” She smiles at them. “You two will come in handy.”
Every second that ticks by feels like an hour as nurses come and go these next few minutes. Tristan steps out of their way, watching me from behind them. My legs begin to shake. My nerves completely fucking shot, my body feels the intense burn again.
“Ah…” I whimper.
Roger was right; it does make you feel like you have to go to the bathroom. If the doctor’s hands aren’t down there in a few minutes, I’m pushing this baby out. Tristan’s hand rubs my back as I scoot to the edge of the bed.
The doctor wheels her chair over and another nurse I don’t know pushes in a large, clear incubator. Gawd, I hope my baby doesn’t have to go in there. Terri comes up beside my doctor. Standing on the other side of Tristan, she places a tray beside Millinger. I can’t see what’s on it, but judging by how far Tristan’s eyebrows shoot up, I don’t want to fucking know.
My mom walks over to the right side of me; the doctor looks up at Tristan, then her.
“Okay you two, time to be useful,” she grins. “Grab a foot.”
Oh, fuck. My legs tremble, my foot shaking lightly when my mom grips the bottom of it, wrapping her other arm around my knee so my leg is pushed out away from me. Tristan watches her for a moment and does the same thing. My geed is totally bared now. . I catch a glimpse with the doctor's mirror that sits on a wire stand beside her. Oh, fuck that.
Closing my eyes tight, I press my chin down to my chest.
“Do you really need the mirror?” I croak.
“You don’t want to see, Sophia?”
My mom asks me like I must be out of my mind. I shake my head no.
“Get that out of here,” I hear Tristan mumble.
I press my foot into his palm. He bends over me and holds my back up when the doctor gets in closer to me. That fucking burn consumes me again.
“All right, Sophia. I’m going to need you to push down as if you were making a bowel movement.”
I’m already on that. Pushing once scared me, but now it feels like a relief. Gritting my teeth hard, I bear down. Chaos may be going on around me, but the blood pumping in my ears drowns it all out. I don’t even hear them counting. Pushing ’til my body just can’t anymore, I fall back onto Tristan’s arm.
“Shit,” I breathe.
“Fuck, Sophia,” Tristan’s voice cracks and my eyes snap open.
Tears pool at the rims of his eyes, causing them to look bloodshot. Oh, my God. Everything evaporates when I stare at him for a moment, then the stabbing is back. It never really went away before, just dulled. Pulling my lips tightly into my mouth, I look back down and push, groaning when I feel a small burn down there. I hear the sound of metal clinking. The doctor must have just used something because Tristan’s body tenses beside mine.
“Okay. Again, Sophia.”
Fuck, I just got done! Sobs begin to choke me as my body tries to push.
“You’re doing good,” and “Almost there,” I hear in the background.
“Holy shit,” Tristan hisses and opening my eyes, I instantly notice what he meant.
All I can see is this little round dark head. My mom chokes on her own cry as she keeps gripping my foot.
“Are you ready to meet your baby?” the doctor asks when I feel her fingers pressing into me. “Push, Sophia.”
Biting my lip hard, my braid sticks to the back of my neck as I bear down with every last fucking ounce of me that I have. Something feeling like a whoosh leaves me and my body instantly relaxes. I blink my tired eyes open. I hear the sound of a faint gurgle followed by a whimper and tears flow down my cheeks.
“Here’s your baby girl.”
She rests the most beautiful thing I have ever seen onto me. Tristan falls to his knees and leans over us, tears streaking his handsome face and getting lost in his facial hair. My daughter’s tiny chest wails so good. Relief floods me that her little lungs are that powerful.
“Oh, my God,” my mom cries beside me. “She’s so perfect.”
The nurse comes over and grabs her from my chest.
“We need to clean this little one up and do vitals.”
My body feels shockingly cold when she is taken from me. Watching the nurses’ backs, I try to catch a glimpse of my baby girl. Tristan squeezes my hand and heads over, already being a protective dad. My heart aches in a good way as I watch him looking down at her. Being so tall, he can easily look over the nurses’ heads. His tears drying on his cheeks, he looks down in admiration.
“Five pounds, ten ounces. What a good little eater already,” the neonatal nurse coos.
Tristan tosses his head back with laughter shaking his chest before he glances over at me.
“What’s her name?” he asks, his eyes excited.
I smile at him for a moment, then I notice the nurse bringing me my baby girl.
“She’s perfect,” she smiles warmly at me.
My daughter’s whimpers shake her little body. Lowering the corner of my gown, I reach out and bring her to me. Her little mouth tries so hard at first, then finally latches on. The whimpers stop and I look up at Tristan, whose eyes light up when he looks down at me. He kisses my forehead, his thumb running circles across my scalp.
“I love you,” he says, his lips feathering across my skin.
When he pulls away, he gently lays his lips on her tiny head, the corners of his mouth smiling.
“She’s a little papoose,” my mom’s voice beams.
I can’t believe the thick, dark hair this little one has already. I admire her tiny features.
“What’s her name, darling?” Doctor Millinger asks me.
Smiling down at my baby, my insides burst with a name that fits this tiny soul so perfectly.
“Scarlet.”
Tristan
We’ve been back out in L.A. for almost a month now. Bitching about being tired before has nothing on how tired we are now. I feel helpless since Sophia decided to breast feed. I pretty much just change diapers. I don’t fucking care, though. I love watching my girls every day.
My girls. I love the fucking sound of that. Stretching out, I notice the empty space where Sophia should be. It’s still dark out and I turn over to check my phone for the time. Two a.m.
Climbing out of bed, I head for Scarlet’s room which is right next to ours. My eyes adjust to the dark. Her door is open but the lights are off as Sophia rocks our baby in front of the window, just the light of the night pouring in.
Goddamn, my heart stops. Sophia gently sings down to our daughter as she feeds. I watch, holding onto the doorframe. She’s singing The Rose as she smiles down at her, her other hand cupping the baby’s small head. She’s so fucking beautiful.
Letting go of the frame, I slowly stalk over to her. Breathing deeply, I drop to my knees. Sophia’s chin is still bent down over Scarlet’s head but her eyes are watching me.
“Marry me,” I whisper.
Sophia’s blue eyes search my face. It feels like my heart is about to explode when she finally whispers,
“Yes…”
Epilogue
Download.
Donington Park, Leicestershire, England
Two months later…
Rain crashes against the tent as Frankie tries to keep my hair in check.
“Damn rain,” Frankie mumbles as he applies a little more smoothing balm into my hair. At least it’s not hot. I would rather play in the rain and the temperature be in the sixties than sunny and hot as fuck.
“So, how are you doing being away from little miss Scarlet?” Frankie asks me.
My heart drops at the thought of her. This is my first time being away from her. Traveling with a newborn across the Atlantic just didn’t seem right to me, but my family jumped on the opportunity to watch her. Our next tour is starting in the fall and that’s when we’re taking her. Frankie’s duties just jumped up to not only stylist, but now, nanny too. He couldn’t be more excited. A smile tugs at my lips when I remember when Frankie first met his little partner in chic crime as he calls her.
“Oh, my sweet stars,” Frankie gasps. Bringing his hands up to cover his mouth, he bends over my shoulder and gazes down. Cradling Scarlet close to me, I look over at him.
“Wanna hold her?”
Frankie is speechless. Holy shit. The warmth I’m feeling right now inside brightens looking at my best friend’s face.
“Oh, my. Yes,” he coos at her, tears beginning to form in his eyes.
Looking back down at her sweet little face, I bring her tiny forehead up to my lips and lay a gentle kiss on her, breathing in her sweet newborn scent. I swear, it’s the sweetest perfume there ever was in this world.
Light, breathy coos come out of her tiny mouth as I bring her up to me.
“Ready?” I ask Frankie.
He raises one finger, then looks behind him and pulls the chair closer to my bedside. Turning back around, his smile wide, he holds his arms out toward me.
“Come see your tee tee, Frankie,” he coos back at her.
My fingertips brush against her small back as Frankie wraps his long arms around her, cradling her against his chest. Some strands of hair that were tucked behind his ear fall into his face as he gazes at my sweet baby girl. His eyes moisten again.
“What’s this beauty’s name?”
“Scarlet,” I smile at him.
He glances up at me and makes his duck lips.
“Ooh, beautiful!”
Frankie gently nudges her tiny fist with his index finger. Her little fingers wrap around his and that’s when Frankie loses it.
“Oh, my. How fucking precious.”
“Frankie!”
“I’m sorry, girl,” he whimpers as he runs his thumb over the baby’s hand curled around his finger. “It’s just that I can’t take the cuteness.”
I adjust the pillows behind me a little then lean back to watch Frankie rock her. He runs his fingertips over her head. Little pieces of thick, black hair twirl around as he continues to stroke her.
“Wow, she’s already got a great mane. I can’t wait to work with it.” He looks down into her face. “Tee tee Frankie is gonna show you a whole new world, my little grasshopper.”
Just then, the creak of the door has me looking up. Frankie doesn’t notice, he’s all in babyland right now. My heart flutters, yes, fucking flutters when Tristan walks through the door in dark gray jeans and a white t-shirt. He must have just showered at my parents’ house because his hair is still wet looking and pushed back off his face. I also noticed that he’s trimmed his facial hair, which now looks more like a five o’clock shadow.
I smile up at him and he gives me his crooked grin back as he walks toward the bed. Holy shit. How is it even possible to be turned on right now after I just had a baby twenty four hours ago? Then I move slightly and my ass reminds me to chill the fuck out on that. I wince just a little. It’s not as bad as what some made it out to be, but those damn contractions toward the end there were just brutal. That took the cake as far as being uncomfortable. Next time I have cramps, I will never bitch again.
Tristan comes up right beside Frankie. Folding his arms over his chest, he stares at Scarlet in Frankie’s arms.
“You’ve done good,” Frankie says to him, still grinning at Scarlet.
She squirms for just a moment.
“Shh,” Frankie says, gently swaying with her.
He glances over his shoulder at Tristan, then smiles. Tristan’s eyes are still on Scarlet as she begins to fuss softly. His large hands reach out for her and in a moment, Tristan has her securely in his strong arms.
The sight takes my breath away. Tristan, this huge man, dangerous sex god extraordinaire, cradling this tiny baby barely the size of his forearm. Watching them together, she already has him wrapped around her little finger. Who would have thought? Tristan has become a gentle giant.
The wind is beginning to pick up a little now, causing the walls of the tent flap. Smiling, I sit back and close my eyes, listening to New Year’s Day perform as this insane weather whips around. My boys are laughing, already partying, what’s new?, in the background. There’s no real privacy here for me to get ready in, but being here at Download and getting ready to go on stage with my boys is something we always wanted to do. Honestly, we thought it would take us a lot longer to get here than just a couple years.
“Hey, Jeff! Paint the British flag on my chest real quick,” Roger laughs.
Frankie makes a light gagging noise as he squats on his heels in front of me, lacing my boots up.
“What the fuck, dude? No one wants to see your gut,” Jared mumbles, cackling at Roger.
“Guy, it’s called paying fucking homage!”
“Whatever,” Jared waves him off. “Seeing you shirtless out there is more like disrespect.”
I shake my head, laughing out loud. These guys. Standing up, I turn my back to them again as Frankie steps in front of me wearing his tight leather pants and an off-the-shoulder, blood red t-shirt.
Crossing his arms, his eyes scan up and down me. Now, I know I just had a baby, but I still can’t help but feel a tad bit self-conscious. Frankie must sense that because he tsks at me and shakes his head.
“Don’t, girl! Whatever stupid thought is in your head right now, forget about it. You’re hot!”
“It’s just, maybe you should have picked something a little more…”
Shrugging my shoulders, I look down at my outfit- boots, shredded tights, and black jean shorts. My top is a strapless black corset with black lace filler pieces. My hair is wavy with thick curls, and as usual, Frankie has done dark smoky eyes. Only difference is my lips are a darker shade of nude.
“Honey, you’re hot! Look at them full fucking hips of yours.” He grabs a hold of my waist and wiggles me a little. “Pregnancy did the body good in your favor. You gained what, like twenty five pounds or something?”
“Yeah, in my nipple,” I smirk at him.
He just rolls his eyes at me.
“Yeah, whatever.”
Okay, maybe I did exaggerate. I’ve been on this stupid diet/workout routine for about four weeks now. Getting ready for Download with a newborn? Shit. I already feel exhausted, but I know I look fine. Just those stupid self-doubt voices trying to work their way in.
“I bet Mr. Scott is happy that he’s gotten the green light.”
Laughing at him, I can’t help my insides from clenching at his words. Yes, as a matter of fact, he is. I think. I thought Tristan had stamina before, but holy shit. If anything, it’s like having the baby has kicked up our… well, to just put it out there, our fucking.
Frankie teases me, saying I’m gonna be knocked up again by the end of the year. That’s a big NO. I love my little Scarlet, but she’s a lot of work and I’m not even ready to think about the possibility of having more yet. So, I’m back on birth control. Yeah, I know. It failed before, but I’m a big believer that everything happens for a reason.
Steve comes in, grinning at us.
“You guys ready to go?”
Frankie jumps up and down, clapping.
“Go get ’em, girl. Woo!”
Even he knows how awesome it is to be here right now. In the Rock and Metal world, it’s a fucking honor to play Download.
“Quick, someone paint me!”
Roger has his beer in one hand, and blue paint in the other. I walk over to him with my hand outstretched.
“Give it to me.”
Roger’s face lights up.
“Fuck, yeah!”
Even with the sea of thousands upon thousands of people, an
d the chaos going on around me, for some reason, everything sounds muted. I haven’t been able to run into Tristan yet, since Undead played earlier on a different stage. I’m nervous as fuck as I stare out at flags from all over Europe waving around in the mass of bodies.
The raindrops become fatter as they start falling heavier now. Whatever Frankie had tried to do to my hair is now a complete waste, but I don’t care. Watching my boys’ backs as they start to take the stage, panic rises in me.
Why am I freaking out all of a sudden? Is it because it’s Download? Yes, most definitely. But even after all the practicing this past month, this is still the first time since February that I’m going live again and that’s causing the massive freak out going on inside of me right now.
Fuck! Move legs! I yell at myself in my head.
All of a sudden, I feel Tristan’s presence behind me. It instantly softens me as he grips my shoulder. His face coming around the other side, he kisses right below my ear, his hot breath caressing my skin.
“So fucking beautiful.”
He reaches his long arms around me and pulls me in close, his fingers finding my new engagement ring which rests on my finger. He twists it from side to side.
Cradled in Tristan’s arms, I look up at the edge of the stage at the sea of people. I realize now that some of the places we played before should have been called lakes of people, because being here at Download... now that’s a fucking sea.
“Breathe, my girl.”
Tristan’s voice, low and deep, melts over me. It pulls me into “our” place and I already feel better. Crazy, huh? How did I go from freaking out about getting ready to go out in front of a massive audience, to wanting to have Tristan? Even though I’m distracted now, at least I’m more excited than nervous.
Tilting my head to the side, Tristan’s lips finds mine as he opens his mouth up. His tongue doesn’t search for long before mine meets his. His grip on my waist tightens as his other hand begins trailing up my stomach... until we hear someone clear their throat right beside us. Fucking Lux! My eyes go huge as Tristan still holds me from behind, grinning at Lux himself.
Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3) Page 24
