by Haley Monroe
“Yeah, I’d love to.” Her nose wrinkles the way mine does when I’m not sure what to say. “Since I started working for Mr. Hoff, my interest in the kinky side of things has spiked. I’ve never been able to try things out, so to speak.” She lifts her latte and we both just wait in the silence that falls between us. “You help me, I’ll help you. It’s a win/win.”
“For real?” I feel my eyes widen and my body is bouncing up and down. “Like for real, for real?”
“Yes!” She laughs loudly again and the people around us turn our way. My cheeks flush again as I look down at her hands and imagine them on my body. “I’ll do it.”
Chapter Two
Steph and I discussed a few details about how Saturday would go down. Then she said she had to get back to the castle or she’d be there all night catching up on things. To say I’m nervous about what we’re getting into is an understatement.
I’m taking Steph’s warnings very seriously. I would hate to put myself out there, trying to surprise him only for it to turn sour and ruin the night. He’s supposed to leave Arizona, Saturday morning around eight and land here just after five. We agreed I should come to the castle early and we could figure out which room we’d want to “host” our party in when I get there.
I sit in the coffee shop a little bit longer, not ready to give up the feelings that this place brings to me. I still have no messages from Jacob and the need to hear his voice is too much for me to bear. I dial his number and that twitch in my foot starts up again.
“Kitten,” he answers after the fourth ring. A shiver races down my spine.
“Hi, Daddy.” I whisper, trying to play it cool. “I miss you.”
“You know I miss you as well. What are you up to?” I feel guilty, like he knows I’m plotting something a little too naughty. I exhale loudly and lean back in the booth.
“Oh, just enjoying a coffee at the shop.”
“Mmm,” he hums. “I can picture you there. What’s covering your delicious body?”
“Just a work blouse and slacks. Nothing fancy.” I lower my voice even more as I tell him the next bit. “I’m sitting right where I sat the first time we met, in the back booth.”
“Does that spot make your panties wet, kitten? Are you remembering how hard it was to keep your orgasm silent so no one would notice what a naughty little girl you are?”
“Yes,” I pant. His words working my libido into a frenzy. “I wish you were here with me.”
Jacob huffs and I hear the rustle of papers from his end of the line. “I do too, kitten.” He doesn’t often sound frustrated and the ache between my thighs dulls as I become worried about him.
“Are you okay, Daddy?”
“It’s been a rough trip, baby, that’s all. I’m fine.” My finger trace shapes in the condensation running down my cup, pulling the drops of water to the table and smearing it around. “The closing isn’t going as smoothly as I had assumed it would and the seller is acting like a child.” He vents quickly. I hate that he sounds so stressed. “I only signed up for taking care of one adult child and this twit isn’t you.”
His last comment makes me smile. “How can I help?”
“I’m afraid there isn’t much for either of us to do at this point, kitten. Just knowing you’re home, waiting on me to get back, is help enough.”
“Are we still on for Kitten Saturday or would you rather rest when you get home? Maybe I could just come over Sunday instead?” My teeth nibble at my lower lip. I don’t really want to wait till Sunday, but if he needs time to recoup from the trip, it’s only fair that I let him do that without being a whiny brat.
“No, no, no, kitten. That isn’t going to work for me. I need to put my arms around you as soon as possible. Just let me go home first and shower, then I can come pick you up and take you to dinner?” My feet kick happily under the table. Now that I know he’s going home right from the airport, my plan may just work.
“That sounds perfect, Daddy.”
“Good. I’m glad that’s settled. I need to go over these terms again before I meet with the seller in an hour. I want you to think about where you’d like to go to dinner, okay?”
“Yes, Sir. I miss you.” I hate letting him go, I want to keep him on the phone until I can kiss him again.
“I miss you more, sweet girl. Daddy loves you, behave.” My heart skips a beat and I hold my hand to my chest.
“I love you too, Jacob.” I try to push as much sincerity into my words as possible. “I’ll be good.” The words feel like a lie, but I tell myself my plans are made with good intentions and everything will be just fine. He’ll come home, find Steph and I together and we’ll give him a birthday like he’s never had before.
“Bye now.” After he ends the call, I push my phone into my purse and carry what’s left of my coffee to my car parked outside. The sun is high in the sky and it seems like winter has retreated for now. Fall is in full effect as Halloween draws near. Maine weather is always like this, one day you think winter will come early and freeze the whole world. Then a week passes and everything smells of pumpkin spice and the early snow that fell has melted into the dead leaves that litter the ground.
I drive around town for a little while, having nowhere I need to be and nowhere I need to go. I think about my life, my relationship with Jacob and even the friendship I have with Miranda. There aren’t a lot of people in my life, not because they don’t want to be, but because I’ve built up walls that keep people out. My anxiety used to make it hard to keep friendships. I was always worried if they were being truthful or even if they liked me. After high school, I shut everyone but Miranda out.
My relationship with my parents isn’t bad, but it’s not great either. I actually can’t remember the last time I spoke with my mom and that makes me feel like maybe our relationship is worse than I thought. We all live in the same small town, working the same jobs we’ve always worked and yet I never see her or my dad. There’s a pang in my heart over the realization that maybe I’ve been a bad daughter.
I pull the car off to the side of the country road I’ve been traveling on and pick up my phone to call my mom. She doesn’t answer and I don’t leave a message, I wouldn’t really know what to say anyhow. I look past my windshield, over the ancient, crumbling stonewall at the cows scattered across the meadow lined by the colorful trees. It looks picturesque.
Almost all of Maine can be summed up by this hillside and I feel lucky to live here. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been anywhere else or maybe it’s just because this is my home, but I love it here. I love the bi-polar weather and the gossiping town’s folk.
I flip down the visor in front of me and look at myself in the small mirror. “Where have you been?” I ask the blue eyed girl looking back at me. She’s someone I haven’t seen in so long and I’m so thankful to Jacob for helping me find her. My smile is genuine as I gaze at myself and I feel it. I feel the lightness of what my life has become in the past few weeks.
I feel better about my body, I feel less anxious about things. I’m still a work in progress, obviously, with a long way to go, but every step forward makes a big difference. I reached out to a practical stranger, asking her to join me in a surprise threesome with my boyfriend! I mean that’s crazy! The scared, anxious girl I was two and a half months ago never would have had the balls to take that chance. I think about the possible ways Steph could have reacted and the rejection could have been devastating to who I used to be.
I see myself, Hannah Moore. The girl before I let ridiculous body image issues grab ahold of me, the girl who laughed easily and loved people with everything she had. It’s funny, I can’t even remember when I first lost myself. How long have I been a shell of myself and didn’t even know it? Ugh, tears prick at the back of my eyes. Are they happy tears or tears of sadness? I don’t know.
I watch the tears well up in my eyes and trickle over my eyelids when I blink. They make an inky trail of eyeliner as they fall. My lip wobbles and my nose flares as I
pull in a shaky breath. Who have I been for the last five, six, even seven years of my life? Because I definitely have been me, the real me.
What started as a slow and easy cry has turned into suffocated gasps of sobs. My whole body shakes as I lean forward against the steering wheel and cry. I cry, long and hard. Until I have no more tears to cry and my nose is all stuffy. I cry until I feel like the intruder who’s invaded my body for so long has been washed away.
When I get brave enough to look back into the mirror, I laugh. The kind of crazy person laugh that feels so refreshing to let go of. Whoever I was, whoever I am, it doesn’t matter. Not really, not anymore. I have a man who loves me and wants me to love myself. That’s the only thing in the whole fucking world that matters and maybe I do love myself, maybe I can love myself the way he does.
I pull my phone back out of my purse and text Jacob.
Thank you for helping me find myself again. It’s not perfect, but it’s better.
I don’t wait for a reply or fiddle with my phone. Instead, I pull the car back on to the road and find my way home. Feeling like I must have been on autopilot when I drove up here, I have to wrack my brain to figure out which roads to take to get back home. That’s another bonus to living somewhere your whole life. It makes it hard to really get lost. After a few U-turns, things become recognizable and I’m on the right track again. It’s been a long emotional day and I’m ready for a bubble bath and a nap.
My little blue house comes into view and for the first time in a long time, I don’t see a rundown shack in the shittiest part of town. I see a two bedroom home that I pay for myself. I see a small lawn covered in fallen leaves that I’ll rake up, on my own, when the time is right. I feel pride for the place I’ve taken care of by myself for the last two years since I moved out of my parent’s home.
It isn’t a castle like Jacob’s mansion, but it is my castle and I’m its queen. I kick at the leaves when I get out of the car and can’t fight the desire to lay out on the dead grass. The leaves are thickest under the oak trees at the corner of the lot, almost making a natural pile just right for jumping in. I leave my coffee and purse on the hood of my car and skip across the yellow grass to the tree line where I throw myself into the foliage.
The leaves catch my fall with a crispy sigh that makes me laugh. They smell of the earth and of new things to come. I pretend I’m making a snow angle in the leaves and then close my eyes to throw the leaves above my head. They rain down on me, fluttering back to the ground on a breeze that’s come out of nowhere. Life is good.
“Are you okay?” A raspy male voice calls to me from the side of the road where the mailboxes for my house and the four around me stand. I sit up, startled by the sound.
“Um, yup.” I push my hair back from my face and look toward the voice. Its owner is a man I’ve never seen before. He’s tall with soft blonde hair and big eyes. I can’t tell their color from here but his lashes make thick, dark lines around his eyes. I climb up onto my feet and brush the dead leaves from my shoulders and pants. “Just, you know.” I shrug feeling silly. “Playing in the leaves.”
“Do you want company?” He asks suggestively and something in my belly feels wrong. I shake my head and smooth my hands over my hair again as he places a cigarette between his lips and cups it with one hand. He’s staring me down when the lighter flicks to life and burns the end of his smoke. I watch his nose flare as he inhales.
“No, no thanks. I was just finishing up anyways.” My thumb hitches towards the house. “I have things to get to inside.”
“Awh, a shame.” He jokes while walking to meet me half way across the lawn with his hand outstretched. “I’m Samuel, I just moved into the brown house.” One of his hands grips mine and the other points to the house two doors door. The smell of burning tobacco and all of the chemicals he’s currently inhaling, assault my senses. My nose wrinkles up and I shake my head a bit trying to get rid of the stench I know won’t go away until he does.
“Welcome to the neighborhood.” I shake his hand and try to let go, but he holds on to me tightly. “I’m Hannah,” I look from his face down to our hands and pull away a little be harder. He chuckles before he lets go of my fingers and pulls the cigarette from his lips.
“Hannah. What a beautiful name. Do you have dinner plans, Hannah? You could come over and share a pizza with me on top of moving boxes.” He steps even closer and I back up. He’s pretty, but feels dangerous. Samuel has sharp cheekbones and a wicked jawline. Baby blue. His eyes are an intense baby blue, but nowhere near as intense as Jacob’s. I can always feel kindness in Jacob’s eyes. No matter his mood, but this stranger is different. I can’t see any kindness behind his eyes even if his offer appears to be kind.
“Oh, thanks for the offer, but I can’t.” I stumble back a few more steps, trying to get closer to my car to grab my things then dash into my house and away from this man. Yet, every step I take, he follows.
“Why?” His head tilts and I notice a smattering of freckles over his nose and cheeks. I search for a reason. Why does he even need a reason? I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me. It’d be weird for me to just go over to a stranger’s house.
“I have plans with a friend, sorry.” I lie.
“I see,” he lifts his chin and eyes me suspiciously. “Another time then.” It doesn’t sound like a question, sounds more of a statement or a demand.
“See you around.” I give a half wave and hurry over to my car to grab my things then dart for the house. I unlock the door and shut it quickly, locking it back up. When I pull the sheer white curtain to the side, peeking out of the window like a scared little girl, he’s still standing in my yard. Looking right at me! I drop the curtain and plop down to the floor. Fucking creepy.
Chapter Three
Thursday and Friday, I really put an effort into being present at work. I plaster a smile on my face that actually feels genuine and don’t complain when my boss asks me to go over inventory. Instead, I scan each tag with gusto, not missing a single article of clothing. My attitude adjustment seems to effect the clients too. They are easier to deal with and I find it kind of fun to help them find the perfect outfit.
Being involved instead of moping around really helps the hours at work pass rather quickly. I’m so exhausted when I get home that sleep finds me easily and lasts all night. I haven’t seen any more of my creepy new neighbor and for that I’m super thankful. Something about him just felt so off, so weird and ugh, straight up gives me the heebie jeebies
I’m still in bed on Saturday morning when my phone signals an incoming video call. I roll on my side and check the caller before answering. My heart races when I read Jacob’s name blinking across the shattered screen. I ruffle a hand through my messy hair, trying to fluff it up or make it at least look sexy not sloppy and accept the call.
Jacob’s sexy face appears in my hand and I thank God I live in a time where this is possible. His has a bit of a beard, not much really just more scruff than I’ve seen on his jaw before. It makes him look darker, rougher somehow and my insides get all tangled up. “There’s my girl.” He smiles into the camera and I feel my cheek flush.
“Good morning, Daddy.” I lick my dry lips and hope I’m pulling off some kind of ‘just woke up/beautiful with no makeup’ look and not some ‘God, girl go take a shower you look hideous’ thing.
“How’s Daddy’s princess this morning?”
“Ready for you to be home.”
“Me too. I’m headed towards the airport now.”
“You aren’t driving are you?” I try to identify his surroundings to figure out where he is in the car.
“No, kitten. I’m trying to tie up some last minute details. I got a driver.” Knowing he’s not behind the wheel and there’s no danger of me causing a distraction that would lead to a crash has me leaning back into the pillows behind me and purposely letting the comforter slip below my chest. His eyes narrow and I blink innocently at him like I hadn’t noticed my exposed breasts.<
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“What time do you land again?” I ask as my free hand moves up over the edge of the comforter to cup my left tit. I squeeze my breast until my back arches and my eye lids flutter from the feeling. My pale, pink nipples harden under my touch and Jacob clears his throat.
“Not soon enough. Hold the phone, higher. I want to see more of you.” I pull the phone back, lifting it further away from me and watch the small square at the top, right hand corner. It shows me what Jacob’s seeing and I turn my upper body slightly to make my waist appear thinner.
My fingers pinch and pluck at the hardened nub that’s my nipple, each tug makes heat stir in my pussy. I gaze up at the phone with what I hope is a ‘fuck me’ expression and push my tit up while lowering my chin. My tongue lolls out and the wet tip teases around my nipple while he watches.
“Suck it.” His voice is lower, huskier and I love it. I stretch my neck to suck my nipple into my mouth. “Hard. Don’t stop till there is a pretty, purple, fucking hickie covering that sweet little peak.” I grin and tilt my head.
“Can’t the driver hear you?” His eyebrow lifts and he mimics my head position.
“Do you think I give a flying fuck who hears me, kitten? Come on now. You know me better than that, don’t you?”
“Well, I guess but.”
“Nope. No more talking.” He shakes his head and points at me through the screen. “Do it. Now.” My lips open to surround my nipple. I suck my tender flesh as he demands and it makes my clit tighten like there’s a string connecting the two points, my nipple and my clit. “Good. Use your tongue. If it’s not dark purple when you’re finished, I’ll spank your pretty ass before I show you how to do it properly.”
My cheeks hollow out as I suck on my skin. My tongue flicks across the tip of my nipple and it’s becoming hard to hold the phone above me. My arm shakes a little and I look up at the screen with wide eyes. Jacob’s gaze is hot, his eyes focused only on me and the task he’s given me. “Times up. Let me see how you’ve done.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and I imagine how hard he must be, sitting in the back of a strangers car, directing me to suck on my tit.
