by Sam Dogra
We circled around the smouldering twigs, before Ryan eased me onto a moss-covered log. Once I sat down, he removed his arm. My heart rate settled, and I sighed. Distance was good—it would stop the Binding from feeding my desires. I dabbed at the cut on my cheek, wincing.
“Hope you didn’t miss me, Cielo.” Ryan walked up and grabbed a handful of mane. “I’ve brought a guest.”
Cielo snorted. He twisted his neck round and nuzzled my shoulder, almost pushing me off the log.
“Whoa!” I struggled to keep my balance, trying not to put pressure on my ankle. Ryan came to my side in an instant, and helped me shuffle sideways so Cielo couldn’t reach. Again his touch left my skin tingling. I held onto the log for dear life, determined not to give in. Cielo gave his master a forlorn gaze, as if he’d been cheated of a new friend.
“Hey, he won’t hurt you,” Ryan said, noting my stiff posture. If only he knew it wasn’t Cielo I was afraid of. He turned to the horse with a scolding look. “Calm down, Cielo. Eliza’s a little fragile right now, so behave yourself.”
Cielo shook his forelock, almost in defiance, then turned to sniff at the grass. Ryan smiled, and rubbed the horse’s flank.
“Don’t mind him, Eliza. He gets excited easily.”
Cielo’s ears twitched, as if he knew he was being talked about. Despite his rather abrupt method of introducing himself, I laughed. At least he had some personality, unlike those emotionless drones in the village stables.
The thought of home brought a lump to my throat. I’d never walk through the simple streets of Velwall again. Never help Father in his clinics, or fetch vegetables for Mother, nor chat with our Councillor, Serena. And after so long apart, I wouldn’t even see Adam one last time.
By the Goddess, why had this happened?
“So,” Ryan said, sitting beside me. He had a long stick and was playing with the ash in the fire pit. I kept my gaze on the embers, determined to stop the curse from stirring more reactions. “You’ve got a choice. Do you want to sleep, or would you rather we head off now?”
I took a slow breath. Surrendering to sleep would be utter bliss, but if we hung around until dawn, we would still be close to my village. Too close, as once I was discovered missing they’d raise the alarm and comb the Galgiza faster than I could say ‘Binding’. Rescue was the last thing I wanted, because then I’d have to tell everyone the truth. I couldn’t face that, not when I knew it would break my parents’ hearts. And not when I’d yet to come to terms with it myself. There had to be a way out. It was probably the denial speaking, but I wouldn’t give up until I knew for sure there wasn’t any way to break a Binding.
Ryan looked at me with his now-familiar expectant expression, so I cleared my throat.
“I’m not that tired,” I lied. “I’d like to be a little further away from my village, so we should get going. We can rest later.”
Ryan nodded. He stoked the embers some more, before he discarded his stick and stood up.
“If that’s what you want. I’ll pack my stuff.”
He marched to his tent. As he disappeared inside, I sighed, holding my head in my hands. A night without sleep, along with the loss of adrenaline, plus my struggle to keep tabs on my feelings, had worn me out. My eyes closed, and I didn’t want to open them again. At least without Ryan on top of me, I had a moment to breathe. It was frightening. I’d no idea a Binding was so powerful.
And I’d seen one first-hand.
It had affected my sister, Fiona, almost five years ago. The memory remained vivid. Back then, she’d been with a farmhand from Bane, Errol. Everyday she’d come prancing home, wearing flowers he’d picked for her, or showing off the wooden charms he’d carved for her. I had to admit, I was a little envious she’d found such a charming boyfriend. However, like Mother, she was affected by the Binding, too. Her times were more erratic, coming between four and ten weeks apart, but lasting only a few hours.
When it was her ‘time’, she kept away from Errol, as she didn’t want to force anything until they’d been together for several months. Then finally, she plucked up her courage and proposed to him. Errol accepted, and they made their vows to enter a Binding.
In all honesty, I was reluctant with her decision. I knew Mother was Bound to Father, and whilst they were happy together, part of me felt sad because neither had experienced love on their own terms before their Binding day. The spell might have guaranteed a lifelong bond, but it wasn’t fair that in the end it would always control who you were meant to be with.
But before Errol and Fiona’s promised day arrived, something terrible happened. A nobleman had an accident on the way to Terent, a town fifteen miles east of us. He’d broken his leg, but my uncle Allen and Adam’s father chanced upon him and brought him back to Velwall. Father and Mother were away in Bane, so Fiona and I had taken care of him. I helped splint his leg and gave him some pethirine—a potent pain-killer—before I headed out with Adam to fetch some extra clothes.
Had I stayed, I would’ve seen the man open his eye and whisper, ‘Thank you’. Not an amazing event in itself, but in that precise moment, he entered his Binding time. And Fiona accepted his thanks, sealing herself to him forever.
Her one act of kindness threw my world upside down. I couldn’t believe it. A Binding could have granted my sister a lifetime of happiness, yet instead it had snatched everything away from her. Even her personality. Her cheery smiles vanished, replaced by sombre stares and silent tears. She wouldn’t go out, wouldn’t speak, wouldn’t eat…
All her dreams lay in pieces before the Binding. And though the nobleman, Lord Ozier, seemed most understanding, even willing to marry her and not lock her away as most of his rank would do to an unwanted Bound partner, I hated him for taking my sister away.
Yet I hated Fiona more, because of how passively she accepted her fate. Errol was going crazy, riding around the towns and seeking any information to help free her, but Fiona, she just sat there every day, feeling sorry for herself. Errol’s effort may have been futile, but at least he tried, fighting to the very end.
Fiona was lost to the dogs.
Once Lord Ozier’s leg healed, they went back to his estate in Estovan. Wearing her favourite lilac dress, Fiona had been escorted to his carriage, looking as if she were walking to her grave. That day, I made a vow. I would choose who I’d love, not this ancient sorcery that could destroy an entire life in the blink of an eye.
So, as the seasons passed, I kept careful watch, in case the curse would come to me. Nobody had yet come up with a way of predicting whom it struck. It didn’t seem to be contagious or inherited, though family clusters were common. Also, the symptoms it stirred varied between people—mine was a short bout of stomach cramps. But the ‘instigation’, or the very first sign, was the same for everyone. A crushing sensation in the chest, like being held in a vice. By all rights it shouldn’t have come to me, as statistically speaking, I should have been safe. Of course, my fifteenth birthday ruined that. Yet I was sure I could keep my promise. And for the last two years, I’d managed fine.
Except tonight, when I’d thrown it all away. Fiona had been the victim of another’s curse, whereas I was only a victim of my own stupidity. A moment of madness had left me with a life debt to a stranger, trapping us together for the rest of our days.
I sighed. Eventually I’d have to betray Ryan’s kindness and tell him we were Bound. It might be easier to confess now and get it out the way, but I couldn’t. I was too scared what I might provoke. I knew he couldn’t kill me—that would cause a backlash and we’d both end up dead. He couldn’t run from me, either, as we’d end up Unbound; empty husks stripped of mind and senses, no better than animated corpses to be locked in an asylum.
What terrified me most, though, was if Ryan would accept our Binding. To barely know another person and yet realise such a level of intimacy shook me to the core. Sure, he seemed friendly enough, but I’d never found it easy to trust others. And there was something about him that made me wa
ry. I still wasn’t happy with his excuse for being in the Galgiza, and his expensive crossbow and fine steed added to the mystery.
He was hiding something...
Cielo snorted. I glanced up at him. He wasn’t so boisterous now. His ears pricked up, and he stared into the trees. A chill crept over me, and I clutched my jacket closer. Something was out there, and this time, I was fairly certain it wasn’t a hungry bear.
“Ryan?” My voice echoed in the quiet. For a long while, he didn’t answer. Rustling caught my ear, and Cielo began to shuffle on his hooves. I braced myself against the log, about to hobble over to the tent, when the flap burst open and Ryan scrambled out, hauling a heavy pack.
“We have to get out of here,” he said.
I blinked.
“Wasn’t that what we decided? You said you’d pack and…”
“I mean we have to go, now!” Without waiting for my reply, he crouched in front of the fire. “Climb on.”
I shrank back. Touching him again would stir all that lust right back up. Plus with my increasing fatigue, I wasn’t sure I could keep it in check. Who knew what would happen if I had to cling to him on horseback as we cantered through the wilderness.
“Eliza, please. We have to hurry,” Ryan said. “Don’t worry about your ankle. I bound it tight. Once we’re on Cielo, it won’t be a problem. Come on!”
As he finished, the crunch of a twig caught my ears. That chill feeling came again, and I swallowed. I didn’t have the luxury to sit and complain. If whatever was out there had Ryan in such a state, it was probably not a good idea to ignore it.
Grimacing—and so glad Ryan couldn’t see—I leant forward on my good leg, then half-fell, half-leapt onto his back. My arms wrapped round his shoulders, and he stood up, gripping my legs against his hips. For someone of such a lithe build, he was stronger than he looked. I couldn’t think on it for long, though, as the Binding flooded me, and my head began to swim. His scent, the one I couldn’t place, was so stimulating I had to hold my breath. My pulse thudded in my ears, and I swallowed. I just had to ignore it.
“Hold tight,” Ryan instructed. Adjusting his grip, he dashed to Cielo’s side. He ripped off the blanket and unfastened the ties, revealing a slender saddle. I raised an eyebrow. It seemed he’d been prepared for a fast getaway.
Cielo trotted backwards, so he was level with the log. With a briskness that could only have come from hours of practice, Ryan slung his pack over the saddle horn and side-stepped onto the horse.
My leg caught on Cielo’s rump, jarring my ankle. My senses were too muddled to acknowledge the pain. All I could take in was the movement of Ryan’s ribs, the tension in his muscles as he took the reins, and the whisper of his hair rubbing against my cheek. He was wonderfully warm, too.
Cielo set off at a rapid trot, jolting my position. The Binding’s grip lessened, and I shook my head, able to think again.
“What about the tent?”
“I can buy a new one.” Ryan’s voice hardened. “Keep your head down. They’ll be following right behind.”
“They?”
“Bandits.”
I opened my mouth to question further, when a shout broke out behind us. Ryan tensed, and Cielo raced into a gallop. Fear took over, and I buried my face in Ryan’s neck. The Binding’s urges hit me like waves on a ragged cliff, and I gave a hoarse whimper. No, don’t push yourself into him! I began to take deep breaths, counting them out in my head. One, two, three…
By the time I reached sixteen, I’d settled into a quiet rhythm. I didn’t dare think about anything else, for a second’s lapse would throw me back there. Counting gave me something to focus on. I couldn’t let anything break my concentration.
Thirty-six breaths on and cold splashed my legs, breaking my concentration. We were crossing water. Oh no! Frantically I tried to get back to breathing, but the moment was gone. I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my cheek against Ryan’s. His stubble tickled my skin, and my lips trembled. Argh, stop this! I jerked my head away, banging my jaw against his shoulder. My teeth clipped my tongue, and I hissed.
Soon the coldness around my ankles vanished, and Cielo stumbled onto the bank. His hooves squelched in the mud, then ruffled the grass as we returned to the forest. The chasing cries had died, leaving us in an array of skeletal trees.
“We should be alright now,” Ryan said, slowing Cielo to a walk. I nodded, finding the strength to push myself upright. My fingers were laced in his shirt, seeking warmth from the breeze. I hoped he wouldn’t read much into it.
Craning my neck over his shoulder, I glimpsed the blue moon again. I hadn’t seen it in a while. Now, it was no longer comforting. Instead, its eerie light tainted the woodland, and my stomach knotted. This part of the Galgiza seemed so dead. Leaves were stripped off the trees, the bushes were thinning like an old man’s pate, and nothing stirred in the branches, not even an owl.
I almost huddled closer to Ryan, until I caught myself and managed to lean back. Not that it did much to help, as Cielo’s steps kept propelling me forwards. Ugh, this was so pathetic.
To keep my mind occupied, I focused on the moon. As the bluish haze filtered through the boughs, my thoughts went back to our pursuers. They certainly had been easy to shake off. Then again, I hadn’t been paying much attention to the distance we’d covered. We could’ve passed Bane for all I knew. More interestingly, it seemed Ryan had done this before. Everything had been too slick to suggest otherwise.
“Hey Ryan,” I said. “Nice job losing them. But why were they after you?”
Ryan didn’t answer. He guided Cielo through the trees, following a dark trail. I frowned at his silence, but decided not to press the issue. He’d saved my life again, and I really wasn’t in any position to start throwing questions at him.
Not for now, anyway.
Fighting back the weight of my eyelids, I squinted into the distance. The blue moon was starting to sink; the night was coming to a close. As we trekked onwards, the branches parted, and we arrived at the top of a ridge.
Cielo stopped. I looked into the valley, and gasped. There, surrounded by steep mud banks, stretched the biggest flower field I’d ever seen. The colours were muted by darkness, but I could imagine what the meadow looked like in the sun. How such beauty could lie hidden within the most hostile part the Galgiza was staggering. Every blossom imaginable must’ve grown here, from daisies and crocuses to snowdrops and roses. I inhaled deeply, the flowers’ fragrances washing out the curse’s hunger that had gripped me during our ride.
“We can rest here.” Ryan’s voice was back to its soft-spoken tone. “We’ll be safe.”
He took my arms and placed them round his neck. My heart trembled, so I counted my breaths again. I had to take a particularly sharp one when he leant back to swing his legs over Cielo. I followed his movement, taking care not to hit my ankle, and together we dropped to the ground. Securing my leg with his left hand, he used his right to grip Cielo’s bridle and start a slow walk into the field.
Four…five…six…
At twelve breaths, we stopped at a patch of flattened grass. Ryan released Cielo, who shook his head and trotted out a short way. Gently, he eased me onto the ground. Once again when my body left Ryan’s, it was like a door slammed down, shutting off the volatile emotions. It was enough to make my head spin.
As Ryan wandered to Cielo to remove the pack, I rubbed my neck. I seemed to have crossed a tiredness threshold, and found myself oddly awake. Though it might simply have been the curse wanting to prolong my moment with my Bound partner.
“I managed to pack most of my things,” Ryan said, dumping his pack beside me and rummaging inside. The poor boy was exhausted. His blinks were longer than normal, and were there proper light I was sure I’d see bags under his eyes. “Only one sleeping bag, but you can have that. I’ll use the blanket.”
Slowly, his words got through to me, and I frowned. He still hadn’t answered my question as to who had chased us. Call me petty, but I wa
sn’t going to put up with this. Not when I’d be his travelling companion for the time-being.
“Are you going to tell me who was after us?” I asked.
Ryan looked away.
“Is it that important for you to know?” He started picking at his pack straps.
“Well,” I said, folding my arms, “if I’m going to be travelling with you, I think I should at least have an idea.” Ah, this was more like it. No more fawning around like a lovesick puppy. This was the Eliza I’d missed since leaving the clearing.
Ryan stopped plucking the straps. For a moment his face fell, before he sighed. My gaze softened. What was going through his head?
“It’s nothing really,” he muttered at last. “A while ago, when I passed through Terent, I upset a bandit leader and he took it personally. Ever since then he and his men have been chasing me for revenge.”
I had to stop myself snorting. Did you really just come up with that, Ryan? The fire pit at his camp could’ve come up with a more creative excuse.
“Wow,” I said, feigning surprise. I was getting good at it now. “Talk about holding a grudge.”
Ryan flashed a hesitant smile. He wasn’t sure if what he said sounded plausible; the telltale sign of an honest soul forced to lie. Even without that, I wasn’t dumb enough to believe him. Bandits didn’t understand honour. They only cared about the next victim who’d fill their pockets. Besides, Terent was a massive trade hub. No thug would chase a single man, custom-built crossbow and thoroughbred horse or not, when he’d have the pick of the purse elsewhere.
So why did Ryan feel he had to lie? He didn’t know me, and I was hardly what you’d call a threat. Fair enough if he didn’t trust me, but if that was so, why had he accepted my plea to travel alongside him?
Hmm…
“You must’ve really gotten up his nose,” I said, gauging his reaction. “What did you do, spit in his drink?”
“Something like that,” Ryan said. His eyes were uncertain. Yup, he was definitely hiding something. That should have put me on edge, but in truth, it only heightened my curiosity. Without the Binding interfering, Ryan was starting to intrigue me. Suddenly I wanted to know everything about him, and find out why our paths had crossed this night.
