“Dad’s gone, too,” he whispered into Nate’s ear. Nate held on.
Sam and Daniel went to Michael as Jack and Nate clung to each other. When the men were ready, Jack put his arms around Sam and Daniel. They needed to go and see Mom. The nurse at the front desk attempted to tell them two visitors only, but one look at Jack’s face and the guns on their thighs kept her quiet. Jack ordered her to find his mother’s doctor; he wanted an update. They found Maggie attached to an IV and monitors, resting. Jack sat on the bed and took her hand, thankful to find it warm.
“Jonathan?” she whispered.
“I’m here, Mom.” He bent and kissed her. He put his face against her chest for a moment, and then sat up and took his cell phone out.
“This is O’Neill,” he said when the line was answered. “I want two security details at St. Vincent’s Hospital, Minneapolis. The first to ICU, room 308, Margaret O’Neill, my mother. The second is to go to the neonatal unit, Olivia Carmichael, my niece. Yes, the NICU.”
“Reporters,” Jack said, seeing the question on Michael’s face. “Danny, would you please call Davis and let him know what’s going on? I left without telling him I was leaving.” Daniel stepped out just as the doctor came in.
“I’m sorry for your loss, General O’Neill,” the doctor said. He looked at the guns strapped to both Jack and Sam, and, as the others, didn’t say anything.
“Will my mother be alright?” Jack asked.
“She collapsed from the shock,” the doctor said. “The IV is for her blood pressure and fluids; she’s a little shaky. She’s weak. That’s about it. Her willpower to continue will be up to her.” Daniel came back in, quietly standing in the back.
Jack nodded, swallowing hard. He looked around. “Close this room off,” he told the doctor. “I don’t want anyone in that second bed, make it a private room. Two Special Forces units are on their way, they will stay here in shifts until my mother is ready to leave. No unauthorized personnel is to enter this room, and if I find one word of information has been leaked to the press, I will track that person down myself even if I have to track them across the galaxy. Are we clear?”
The doctor acknowledged him and left to make the arrangements.
“I thought it was the first born that was supposed to have control issues?” his mother said faintly.
“Well, I guess you’ll have to stick around for a while longer and try to rehabilitate me,” Jack told her. “Mom, don’t you dare die on me, I need you. We need you.”
She lifted her hand and touched his cheek. “I’m tired, Jonathan,” she told him. “I love you so much, I’m so proud of you.”
Jack held out his hand and Nate came forward. He went to the other side of the bed and sat, taking Maggie’s other hand.
“I’m going to tell you the truth, Mom,” Jack told her, unable to continue without her hearing it. “Sam, would you watch the door? Michael, if you feel you won’t be able to keep this to yourself, you need to step outside. This is the most top-secret information in the world. Literally. If you stay, I’m holding you to confessional rules.” Michael nodded and stayed. “Mom…. Nate is my clone. He’s me, Mom, memories, feelings, everything. A rebel Asgard scientist did it a few years ago without my knowledge. You have three sons, Mom, and as selfish as this is, we all need you here.”
She looked from one to the other.
“I need you,” Nate said in her son’s voice. “I know you as my mother, I have all Jack’s memories of you as our mother. I need to remain your grandson, for all intents and purposes, but you are my mother and I love you. Please stay with me for a little while longer.”
She raised a hand and hesitantly touched him, pushing the long hair away from his face.
“A miracle,” she whispered, gazing at him.
“No, just a renegade scientist,” Jack said. “Mom, I miss Dad. I love him. Megan gone has left a hole in me. We have babies to raise, though, and you should stick around to see them married off.”
Maggie gave him a shaky nod and pulled herself together. Nate leaned down and kissed her cheek as Michael took the final blow to his spiritual heart.
After dinner that evening, most of the family forcing themselves to eat something, Jack left and came back twenty minutes later, walking slowly down the hall with a baby in his arms. He cooed softly to her. The kids were sitting with their grandmother, all of them white and teary. Jack put Olivia into Katie’s arms.
“She looks exactly like your mother when she was born,” Jack told the kids. They had run to him when Joey and Rita brought them to the hospital earlier in the evening. Jack and Michael took turns, the two brothers comforting each other as they held all three kids, crying with them. When they were calm enough to see their grandmother, Sam and Daniel stayed with them while Michael took Jack outside and handed him an envelope.
“Jack, Megan wrote this last month,” he said. “She wanted you to have it in case…. something happened. I hesitate to use the word premonition. I know what it says, she discussed it with me, and I have agreed to it.”
Jack opened the envelope and read the letter. He sat down and read it again. He nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes.
“Okay,” he said in finality. “Would you please send Sam and Daniel out here?”
Michael went back in. When his partners came out, Jack handed them the letter.
“Do the children know?” Sam asked, handing the letter back.
“I don’t know,” Jack said. “I need to do this.”
“Of course, you do,” Daniel said as Sam put her arms around Jack. “We’ll do this together.”
They went back into Maggie’s room. Davy was carefully holding the baby with Michael and Nate both watching over him. Michael was trying to be calm, but the knowledge of Nate’s existence was still screaming inside his head. Sometimes Nate slipped, speaking to Michael as though he were Jack.
“Can I hold her?” Sam asked the boy, giving his hair a stroke. Davy nodded and Sam took Olivia from him, cradling the tiny baby against her heart. Jack sat next to the kids and Katie took over his lap, huddling against him, sniffling. He held her close as Davy went to Daniel’s lap. The thumb went into the mouth.
“Kids, we need to talk about something,” Jack said. “You’re mom gave me custody of you. Do you understand what that means?”
“That she wants us to live with you,” Katie said against his chest.
“Right. If you have objections, I want to hear them. I would like to take you home with me, with us, but only if you want it, too. You’re old enough to be part of this decision. It’ll be a little crowded, you’ll need to share rooms. I know you want your mom, I know you miss her and Papa and you’re scared of being without them. It’s okay to feel those things. It’s okay to cry and feel angry and sad. We all feel these things in different ways, so life may be rough for a while, but I promise it’ll get better. You will always miss her but you won’t stop loving her, and you will feel better after a while. You are going to feel alone but I promise you’re not alone. You have me and your grandfather, Sam, Daniel, Nanna, and everyone else, and now you have a new baby sister. You are not alone.” The kids agreed after Michael assured them it was alright.
The funeral would be in five days. At Daniel’s suggestion, Jack and Michael took Katie and Matthew to help pick out coffins. Daniel told Jack that it was important to make the kids part of the death process, as well as the life process. They picked out clothes for their mother and grandfather, and went to the cemetery to see where their mom would be buried. A World War II vet, Tom would be taken to Arlington after Megan was buried.
Davy was in the worst of the shock, so the men left the boy with Sam and Daniel. Nate took Maggie home and helped her to begin getting affairs settled. She began going through Tom’s clothes and screamed, burying her face in a shirt.
Jack needed to call Paul and have him come up to deal with the press once wind reached them of the tragedy hitting General O’Neill’s family. Paul brought Jack’s new pe
rsonal guard with him, six ex-Special Ops men and SGC SF that had been cleared by Nick, Jack’s new head of security who had come with them to secure the scene.
Olivia slept through most of the events, waking up long enough for a bottle and to be changed and cuddled before sleeping again. Thankfully, she was completely healthy. Although two weeks premature, her lungs were fully developed and she was spared any injury from the crash. The hospital reluctantly allowed her to go home, once Jack had the custody issue resolved. It was a temporary resolution; despite the letter from Megan and her Will, the courts needed to track down Andrew and get paternal permission. Jack was frustrated on that end, arguing that Andrew had court orders to stay away from the children. Nick listened to the bitching, snapped his gum, and disappeared.
Sam and Daniel kept Davy occupied with his baby sister, teaching him how to care for her. They had a lot of help from Nate and great-grandma, since neither Sam nor Daniel had much experience with newborns. Daniel may have helped to bring a couple of babies into the world, but he didn’t have to take care of them. They fell into their off-world routine of shifts, and shared feeding duty through the night. Davy climbed into bed with Daniel and curled up at his side. Daniel got him to talk and tell him stories about mommy. Davy finally cried. Jack found them and was relieved to hear that Davy was verbalizing.
After discussing it with his partners, Jack called Sara and told her she’d be welcome, if she wanted to attend the funerals. She was thankful and he could hear it in her voice. Sara had loved his father and Megan, adored the children, and missed everyone. She was looking forward to holding Olivia. Jack made sure Sam understood that she was primary in the lives of the children, now, not Sara. Sam admitted to being a little unsure of her place.
“Your place is at my side,” Jack told her. “Sara may or may not stay in touch with the kids, I don’t know and I won’t argue with the kids if they want to visit with her. David probably won’t, he doesn’t really remember her, but Katie and Matthew may want to.”
Stacy came up with Paul, but wasn’t sure of what to do. Daniel told her to just be sensitive to everyone and don’t get upset if someone seems angry or starts crying; it was normal and it was okay. He caught her drawing one afternoon after Olivia had her bottle. Daniel was walking around with a sling across his chest, Olivia snug next to his heart.
“What’s that?” Daniel asked Stacy, looking over her shoulder at the boxes she drew on the paper.
“Our bedrooms,” she said. “You guys have one bedroom and use the second for your dressing room, I have one bedroom, and Jack uses a bedroom for his office. That leaves one bedroom left. Matthew and Davy can have that bedroom and Katie can share with me.”
Daniel was feeling guilty, having promised her a bedroom of her own. There was no way they could all have their clothes and dressers in their bedroom, and Jack really did need an office at home.
“Are you sure, honey?” he asked. “I know I said you didn’t have to share….”
“Daddy, it’s okay,” she assured him. “I’ve never had my own room before, I always share. It’s weird being alone.”
Daniel wasn’t sure which god he pleased, but someone sent him a true gift when he received Stacy.
After dinner, they sat the kids down and went over plans. Girls and boys would each share a room. The older kids weren’t happy about it, but there wasn’t much the adults could do. Jack was giving them a choice, though; how did they want to divide the bedrooms? A wall panel down the middle, bookcases, no divider at all? Stacy and Katie decided on bookcases. Matthew wanted a bookcase; Davy begged him not to, he wanted to be able to see his brother.
Daniel found a sketch of their house that Jack had been absently doodling into an engineering format. He and Sam looked it over and added their own two-cents.
Jack sat on the porch after feeding Olivia and rocking her to sleep. He put her back into her crib and sat outside with the baby monitor, listening to the nighttime. He could almost smell the tobacco his father used. He had suggested taking the kids home where they would have their own rooms, but they didn’t want to go there without their mother. Davy came out, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes, and climbed up onto Jack’s lap. He snuggled into Jack’s chest, the thumb going in.
“How are you, buddy?” Jack asked him, pressing his mouth to the top of the boy’s head. He got a shrug. “Davy, do you understand what’s going on?”
“Mommy and Papa died,” David said. “Are they in Heaven, Uncle Jack?”
“Yes, they are,” he told the boy, sure this wasn’t the time to go into a discussion on the afterlife. “They’re safe and they love you very much.”
“Does it hurt to die? When people die in movies, they look like it hurts.”
“No,” Jack told him. “Those are just movies, they aren’t real. If someone gets shot, it hurts, I know it does because I’ve been shot, but your mom and your grandpa didn’t hurt.”
“How come they had to die? I want mommy.”
Jack held him close. “Mommy will always be with you,” he said. “She’ll be in your heart. You can talk to her and she’ll always listen. She loves you very much and she was very proud of you. Everyone dies, son, it’s part of life, but we don’t have to be afraid of it. There is another life after this one, I know it for a fact, so you don’t need to be afraid.”
“Heaven is after this life?” Davy asked, looking up at his uncle.
“Some people call it Heaven,” Jack said. “Other people call it the afterlife, others call it by other names. You call it whatever you want to call it.”
Between custody and burial issues, Jack had more than he could handle on his plate, so Davis called in a lawyer to deal with the paperwork. With his general in capable hands, Davis went home and dealt with the daily happenings at HomeSec. Daniel and Sam went with Michael to help with Megan’s house; Michael said he had a couple of families in his parish who were in extreme need so he would have the families come over after the funeral and take what they needed. They packed up photos, jewelry, personal mementos, and the children’s rooms. Michael sat abruptly in the middle of the living room floor, a family picture in his hands. Daniel sat next to him.
“Full circle, Daniel,” Michael said, dusting the photo with a finger. He sniffed. “Her mother died in a car accident, too, bringing Megan prematurely. Makes me wonder if Megan was truly meant to be here at all.”
“Of course, she was,” Daniel said, touching Michael’s shoulder. “If she gave anyone one moment of joy, she was meant to be here.”
“I don’t think I can verbalize just how much it destroyed me when Olivia died. My wife. I loved her so much. I was so blinded by my grief that I couldn’t look at my daughter. I know my parents and Jack didn’t understand and I had no way of making them understand. By the time the clouds parted, Megan was already looking to Jack as her father. I was jealous but he earned the rights, not me. Jack walked her down the aisle when she was married, he held Katie when she was born, and the boys went to him before me. I was jealous. I made a few bitter comments about divorce, brought up some old doctrine that I was considering. I was speaking as an angry brother and father but my family heard the priest and Jack paid the price. I have made so many mistakes, Daniel; my pride will be my fall. When Megan talked with me about custody of the children, I didn’t argue with her; Jack has earned the right to them. I can only hope that their presence won’t be too much of a burden to you and Sam.”
Daniel shook his head. “We will stand by his side and love Megan’s children. A little remodeling on the house is in order, I think, but we’ll manage.”
Michael held the picture to his chest, silent for a moment. “Daniel, this ascension thing….”
Daniel shook his head again. “It has more to do with the frame of mind and the person’s will, than anything else,” he said. “I was assisted by one of the Ascended, I was given a choice; ascending or crossing over. I chose ascension. That Being actually broke the laws of the Ascended to help me, for reason
s of her own. I returned through the making of another choice. If Megan ascended, we won’t know about it unless we ascend ourselves. My own memory of it is sketchy at best, and a lot of what I know I was told by others. Mostly Jack. It seems I visited him a few times.” He didn’t tell Michael that her physical form was still present, therefore she didn’t Ascend.
“Do you think…. Jesus was one of these Ascended?” Michael asked, looking at the picture.
“Don’t see why not,” Daniel said with a shrug. “I’ll be honest, Michael, I’m not sure I believe he even existed, but if he did, everything he did can be attributed to things we’ve already seen in ourselves and in other races. I don’t mean to try and test your faith; I think, though, I’d prefer to believe in his message, rather than trying to believe in his miracles.”
Michael nodded slowly. “For the first time since I put this collar on, I’m considering taking it off,” he admitted. “Something happened recently that sent me a more powerful message than anything else that has happened. Do you know what that was?” Daniel shook his head. “That little one –T’Keet. A soulless creature doesn’t understand love, Daniel. T’Keet loves. There is an entire universe filled with beings that understand the concept of love and yet know nothing of God. I feel like a hypocrite with an entire life wasted.”
“Don’t, Michael,” Daniel said, putting a hand on the man’s arm. “Alter your beliefs, if you need to, but don’t give them up. The message Jesus gives is a beautiful one; it’s the apostles that started the crap, and pardon me for saying so, but the Church didn’t do anyone much good when it came down to forcing people to believe their way or die. It’s the individual who makes it happen, Michael. The New Testament is almost two thousand years old, it was written for a completely different culture and time; it needs to be reinterpreted for modern times, not kept in the past. If the Church is unable to change, you need to make a choice: do you want to stagnate with it, or step forward and listen for God’s voice within yourself?”
A couple more boxes were packed, and Sam brought down more from upstairs, placing them with the others.
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