My mother said she managed to give a low dose of sleeping pills for my father, who was concerned about the time, and was already thinking of calling my cell phone when the clock rang at 3 a.m. My mother, wise as she is, knew I was all right. She always knows things.
Then Matt came into the kitchen and I felt when he hugged me, kissing me on the neck. I was a little embarrassed about the situation, in front of my mother.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Felipa! - He said, still holding onto me.
- Good afternoon, my son! - She said, more than smiling. - But, stop calling me "Mrs."
- Sure, Felipa. - He said still holding me. He looked at me and continued - And you, how are you? - This time he lifted me from the chair and turned toward me - I came to take you for a walk.
- I'm fine. - I replied unable to deny my smile, soon after giving him a quick kiss, a peck more than a kiss actually.
- Eat something and I'll wait in the room, let's take a walk, you can’t be so lazy.
It would be good to get out for a little stroll. We could take Adolfo to exercise, he had been too lazy lately, only wanted to sleep and hadn’t the same joy as before. I think he was a little jealous of my outings with Mat all the time. And I couldn’t let my best friend aside.
I ate a sandwich, since I was not in the mood for lunch, I went up to my room, took off my pajamas, put on shorts and a shirt, grabbed my beautiful glasses and went down. I searched Adolfo for the whole house, but it was hard to find him. Jason found him hiding under my bed. Still too lazy.
We went out together to the park and lay there in the grass. Mat, I at the side with my head on his chest, and Adolfo beside me, with his head on my lap.
- Next week begins your vacation, isn’t it? - He asked.
- Yes, thank God I'll have a time to rest. Even though the school is only part time it ends up taking too much of my time. To prepare lesson, corrections, work. And the time my parents have to take to help me.
- And have you already decided what to do this holiday season?
- The usual – I said laughing - nothing. My parents didn’t have vacation now, so we’re not going to travel. I normally only enjoyed the holidays in January.
Mat just cleared his throat and gave a kiss on my forehead. We stood there for a while, until Adolfo jumped as couldn’t expect and ran. I thought about going after him, but I thought it was best to let him to exercise himself a bit. For sure he must have seen some of the other dogs and went to have some fun. I took the chance to enjoy Matt a little bit more.
We stayed about an hour there, but Adolfo didn’t come back. We searched a little around the park, but people couldn’t inform us if they had seen him or not. There were many animals alike, and he, as a legitimate Labrador resembled all other Labradors.
After much searching we decided to go home. Adolfo knew the way back home as anyone, he was my guide, since I was 14. He was smart, experienced, knew how to find his way home, and maybe he was already there. I was beginning to be sure that he was jealous of Mat, and I would have to fix that. They would have to be friends.
- I think you'll have to win another family member. - I said to Matt, as we walked hugging each other, leaving the park.
- Adolfo? - He asked, already knowing what I was talking about – Do you think he's jealous?
- How did you know I was talking about him? – Besides being a great boyfriend, was he also a mind reading?
- I have won over all your family, he is the only one with I still don’t have all that intimacy.
I had forgotten that he was, besides a great boyfriend, very convinced.
When we got home my mom told me that Adolfo had not returned, and that I shouldn’t worry because he would be back soon. Perhaps he had found himself a girlfriend.
I won Adolfo when I was 9. My parents were planning to have another child, and knowing that I would be very jealous, since I was an only child for all that time, they decided to buy me a puppy so I was getting used to a new job. So when the child arrived, I would not feel such a lack of their excessive attention as I had to worry about taking care of my new little friend. The Psychologist Association of Blind said it would be a good idea, not only in relation to the alleged jealousy that I could feel of my brother but also to help in my development. He said that some breeds can be great friends of the visually impaired, both as guide dogs as companions. They are faithful, loyal friends. It's almost therapeutic. That's how Adolfo came to our family. Mom was doing a treatment to get pregnant and knew it was close to happen. The following year came Jason, and how they imagined I adapted myself very well to the arrival of my new baby brother. My mother says I liked to say that Adolfo was my little baby, and I even gave him bottle. At least I think I did, because normally he ate all nozzles.
CHAPTER 10
Adolfo never disappeared for a long time, except for the time a girl took him home and decided to adopt him, even knowing he had an owner, the he had my name on his collar, address and telephone number. He went missing for six days, but managed to escape and return home afterwards. We discovered what had happened when we found the girl on the street, claiming we had stolen her dog.
It had been two days since Adolf didn’t show up and I was starting to get upset. He was not only my dog; he was my friend, my guide, my eyes. For many years he guided me through the streets, helping me to come and go through the city, contributing for me to be independent. He was my independence. Now he was out there, lost, needing me. Who knows what could have happened. Injured, hungry, thirsty, needing affection and care. My father went to the kennel, but there was no sign that he had been brought there. The neighbors also gave no hope of seeing him lately. We returned to the park in the hope that he could appear, but nothing happened.
Mat spent much time with me, helping me so much in searches as at home by the phone waiting for someone to decide to give some news.
- He is old now. - I told my mother. - Lately he was tired, around the corners. Wherever he has gone, he will return home. He’s no longer a child knowing a new world, he already knows this world. He knows that this is his home, he will return.
I could only think about the fact that he was old. Generally Labradors live an average of 13 to 15 years, and females tend to live longer than males. Then, at age 14, the estimated life of Adolfo was already at the limit. Every time I worried over not knowing what I could do to help him.
The day came to an end and night was even colder. It was winter, one of the coldest in recent years. As July approached, we noticed that the humidity was getting stronger, it was even difficult to breathe. As the way the weather had changed, it wouldn’t scare me if I received news that was already snowing here, so taking into account that the snow never fell in our city.
My mother gave me a tranquilizer without my noticing. A few drops of something bitter in a glass of orange juice. And Mat was her accomplice in this. For many people this might seem excessive unnecessary concern with a dog, but for me he was more than that. He was with me all these years, part of my history, my achievements, in sad and happy moments. He was not just a dog.
I don’t know how people can have such a cold heart and not realize things that are in front of them. A dog is a kind of angel that divine beings put on earth to help us. They complete a part of our hearts that after their arrival, overflow in love and happiness. No matter your color, if you are healthy or have some kind of disability, like me, to him everyone is equal. He sees how you are inside, he sees with the heart. He doesn’t care for beauty, intelligence, for money. He just wants to learn to give and receive love. He is patient, knows how to wait, is always present and knows to share. He is more than an animal, he is part of you, part of your life, and I refused to accept that part of my life was about to leave me, no matter what the reason was.
I fell asleep on Mat’s shoulder in the room. I woke up in my bed the next morning. Mat was there, sitting on my bed, his hands stroking my hair. He kissed me gently on the face when he realized I was waking up.
I was scared. Truly frightened.
- But you need to prepare for the worst, Ems. I know he is more than a pet for you, so here I am. We know that he has already an advanced age, that lately he has been down, tired, without much enthusiasm. We don’t know what might have happened, I prayed for him to be good, but I can’t lie to you. We have to be prepared for anything that may happen.
At that moment I burst into tears. I knew exactly what Matt meant. Everything was very clear, I just didn’t want to see. Lately I was not going out much with Adolfo, but it was not because of laziness or lack of time, but he was no longer with that energy as before. He now lurked, avoided going to the street. Only slept, rested. Mat was right, I needed to prepare myself for the worst, a part of me could be getting prepared for him to leave me, but that lack of news made me anxious. Not knowing what was happening, where he was, whether he was well or not, it all made me more anxious.
The question is what corrodes us as much as certainty. It is a pain that we don’t know whence it comes or we have no idea when it will go way. It doesn’t get lighter, or quieter, it is restless. The pain of loss is the worst pain you can feel. Larger than physical pain.
Mathew spent all morning in bed hugging me. I just felt his sweet perfume while holding me with his eyes closed, praying that Adolfo back safe and sound. I was like a child who had lost something he loved most. To many it might seem drama, and I understand the ignorance. But for me it was something I could never explain.
At exactly 11:40 someone knocked on my door. Mat came down to answer and returned in a few seconds. I heard her footsteps on the stairs faster than ever, coming in my direction.
- He was found – he said, speaking fast, almost losing the breath.
I got out of bed without bothering about the pajamas I was wearing and ran to the door, where I grabbed his hand and, moved, walked down the stairs embracing the love of my life.
Jason spoke so fast I almost couldn’t understand anything he said.
- ... And that's when Suzan and I found him. - He said, as if I had understood what he had said earlier.
- Thank you - I said excitedly, bending to pet Adolfo, who was lying on my feet, with dirty fur, some leaves stuck on him, and apparently an injured paw.
- I am Mat’s sister - Said the girl with a sweet voice that I hadn’t heard before – I am Suzan.
- Thank you, Suzan - I said, following her voice and giving her a tight hug.
Mat helped me to give Adolfo a bath, which needed to relax and get some rest. These days gone must have been very difficult for him. I can’t explain the joy that overflowed in my heart. That soft fur, even dirty, that long snout, that curly tongue past my face. The way he bounced and wet all of us while we bath him. Everything was good, everything was beautiful. Everything at that moment was joy.
Sometimes I felt him grunt when I touched some parts of his body like his back paw. There was a small wound on the right side, which should have bled because there was a crust where it seemed that the blood had coagulated. Suzan gone then, having Jason to escort her to the door. Poor girl, she didn’t even imagined that from that moment on she would be the new crush of my brother, who insisted to fall for older girls. Adolfo ate a huge plate of food, drank a huge amount of water and slept a lot. Deeply, so deeply that I just heard the noise of his strong, very strong breath.
Once my father came, I put him in charge of taking Adolfo to the vet. I needed to know if he was alright, had some serious hurt, and how was his health. He deserved care, his advanced age proved that.
At the end of the day my father returned with Adolfo from the vet. I wanted to go along, but Matt insisted that I needed to rest, and practically forced me to go to the room and get some sleep. I woke up with Adolfo running his tongue on my face, and Mat touching my feet. He was all right.
- It was just a scare. - Said my father, at the bedroom door - Dr. Henry said he's a little tired, that must have made some new friend and decided to disappear for a few days to "de-stress".
- This fool wanted to fool us. - Mat said, this time closer to me, stroking the head of Adolfo who continued to sniff and lick me.
- You never do that again, do you hear me? - I recriminated, but I was unable to hide the smile of happiness that covered my face - You are my friend, and friends do not abandon each other like that, leaving without saying goodbye. If you were going to find a girlfriend, you could at least introduce her before running away with her.
- That's right - Mat said – don’t do that anymore, kid.
That rest of afternoon was all about joy; we played, smiled, and I didn’t move away from Adolfo not for a moment. Mat appeared at night. He brought one of his rock CDs, saying it was one of the classics that I should know. We stayed in the room, he, Adolfo and me, sitting on a carpet, eating popcorn and listening to music.
- This is one of my favorites - so he said as a very familiar sound began to ring – It’s called Carry On My Wayward Son, and is from a band called...
- Kansas - I interrupted him, showing that I knew what he was talking about.
Adolfo hit his head on the huge paper bag and dropped popcorn on top of me, then eating them.
- I didn’t know you were into this kind of music. I thought you liked something lighter.
- This is one of the theme songs of a show that my brother loves, about two brothers who hunt supernatural things...
- Supernatural - he said, interrupting me this time - showing the life of the brothers Winchesters.
- I didn’t know you liked that style of series. - I said, trying to repeat his speech and goofy a little. - I thought you liked something more about cops, more scientific and humanoid.
- Are you kidding? - He spoke excitedly, this time without Adolfo hitting the bag of popcorn to knock them over me again. - I love this series, Jared and Jesen are simply awesome. You know that these are their names, right? Sam and Dean?
- Yes, I know. - I replied smiling. - I watched a few episodes along with Jason and they really are great. Sam's voice is highly sexy and Dean, with that way so relaxed and manly, wow, I start to sweat just thinking about him.
- Hey Ems - he said with a laugh with his mouth full of popcorn - what is it? Do you think they are sexier than me? Look my voice exuding sensuality - and he tried to do something like the voice of Dean, and then changing to the calm Sam.
- Your voice is sexy Mat - I said, moving my hand on his face - but I can’t deny, those two are the pinnacle of
- Sexyality? - He spit the popcorn that was in the mouth with a laugh that made Adolf stood up. Surely he does not like to be spit. - Where did you get that word from?
- Oh, Matt. They are so sexy that they deserve a word invented just for them. But regardless, they are great actors. Did you know that in real life, they are the opposite of the characters?
- What are you talking about, Ems? - He said, again with a mouthful of popcorn. My God, this popcorn does not end? I think inside that bag must have a truckload of popcorn! – Do you mean they don’t hunt things, supernatural beings? I don’t believe it! They have an average life, as we have? - He made fun of me, laughing. I hoped he choked on popcorn, jus to laugh at him.
- No, genius. I'm talking about the profiles. Dean is all outgoing, without being ashamed of things he does or says, since Jensen is shy, opposite to the character. And Sam is all centered, shy, is the inverse of Jared, a real joker.
- For someone who doesn’t follow the series you know a lot about them, huh! - He spoke jealous.
- I said I like them, and I admire and think that they are extremely sexy and great professionals. Of course, they are not only beautiful, I believe they are beautiful, but they are, in my opinion, two of the best actors of this generation. Also, I've heard them in other movies, I know a little, and as Jason is a big fan of the series I end up liking it too.
Finally, the popcorn ended, and as it was ex
pected, Adolfo ran away from the room. Dr. Henry told to control his alimentation, mainly due to the age, not letting him eat crap, but that day he deserved a discount. Having him there with us, eating popcorn was good, it was a family moment, the three of us. After he left Mat grabbed me and threw me to the ground. Well, we were already on the ground, only sitting. Now we lay with him over me, kissing me on the neck.
- So you are saying that they are sexier than me? Jared and Jensen? - I think he wanted to hear some kind of compliment, and I would not give that taste to him, not so easy.
- Shut up and kiss me - I said, repeating a phrase that I had already been tired of hearing around, but never had a chance to use.
CHAPTER 11
I woke up to another day at the school after the fun night I had with Matt and Adolfo My two loves. I went to bed around midnight, after we talked for hours and he explain me that had recruited all the children of the neighborhood to find Adolfo, having the supervision of his sister, who would win an award for the work. He explained that they found him nearby, in a wasteland next to an abandoned house, two streets from my house.
Just two more days of school and I would be on vacation. I would have fifteen days to rest, could sleep late, since in public schools, different from private schools, we have only half the month to rest.
In class, my students asked me what had happened, claimed to have missed me and complained about the intern who had been in my place. They called the poor girl annoying and impolite. Literally, they only had eyes for me.
At home, I found Adolfo in the hallway next to my room. I realized his presence as soon as I heard his breathing. I already followed the direction to lie, clinging to him. It would not take much to my mother scream at us to go to lunch, but I think I still had thirty minutes of rest.
Mat didn’t show up that day at lunch. In recent days, or he would pick me up at school on his motorcycle, or appeared as soon as I got home to give me a kiss. What a sticky boy! But I liked that, I missed him when he was not around.
Shooting Stars Don't Say Goodbye Page 11
