Because of Page’s desperate assault on everything that is good about being a human being, the town of Groton now has stones that say ALL ARE WELCOME at every intersection leading into town.
That’s how we respond to violent extremism: By moving forward with good intentions and compassion for each other and ourselves. Whether the attacks come from white supremacists, far-right, far-left, or religious fundamentalists of whatever persuasion, we follow the universal truths of our common humanity to cultivate solutions defined by what we stand for—kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, courage, wisdom, love. We don’t let hate dictate the terms of engagement.
This is what five years of Chardi Kala looks like.
Comments from Students
Arno and Pardeep, your amazing stories about your life experiences and the inspiration to found Serve 2 Unite have changed many lives including mine. The stories from Serve 2 Unite have changed my view entirely on the world and the people in it. The lessons I have learned in this program have taught me peace and compassion beyond anything I have ever known.
—Kiva, 7th Grade
Arno and Pardeep’s stories, why they started Serve 2 Unite, were empowering and motivated me further than what I originally wanted. The love and respect Arno and Pardeep give you is enough to change anybody. This is why everyone should join Serve 2 Unite and make the world a better place.
—Logan, 8th Grade
The first day you walked into our classroom we were confused. Who are you? we wondered. Are they just going to give us another boring assignment that goes on our report card?
No, we were wrong.
That day two men came into our lives and told us inspirational stories of kindness and forgiving. We were inspired, and this inspiration was what drove us to create our projects.
I thank you for giving me and my friends this amazing opportunity.
See you next year!
—Aaron, 7th Grade
Through this experience I have learned a lot about myself and converting hate and negative energy into kindness and compassion for others. The end of the year project helped me boost my self-esteem and learn to speak in front of crowds with a better voice and attitude. The stories the adults and students have shared made me reflect on my actions and inspired me to reform myself in the future.
This project was a life-changing experience. The stories you told us about your past and to now is just amazing how someone could change so much.… I am really glad we got this opportunity at such a young age. Most kids don’t get to do things like this and they don’t get to speak. Thank you so much for doing this for us.
—Elana, 8th Grade
THIRTEEN
THE GIFT OF OUR WOUNDS
From Oneness came the many, and one day shall merge back into the One.
Guru Arjun Dev Ji
Pardeep
As I look back at that fateful day in August 2012, I do so free from disdain in my heart. For I bore witness to a great human family that refused to be defined by the hate that took seven lives and instead demonstrated the vast healing power of love. Bearing witness is “to be evidence or proof of.” As the Sikh community grieved, we witnessed the truth upon which our religion was founded. We call it Ek Onkar. It means we are one, from a single creator, and we share this divinity with all of creation. When our community felt the most victimized, the most vulnerable and hurt, we saw Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and Jews, people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, gather together outside our Gurudwara in the spirit of Oneness. Thousands of people, in a rainbow of colors, speaking different languages, stood together in kinship, engaging in communal prayer and helping each other to heal.
It was in this continuation of spirit and defiant love that we saw light in what had seemed like infinite darkness. Ours was a brotherhood of genuine honesty, compassion, understanding, gratitude, and joy. Together we were mindful of the truth that forgiveness is not forgetting, but rather forging a path to healing. It was not condoning the offense, but instead bridging individuals and communities—the ultimate vengeance against the cycles of suffering that will always challenge human existence. What I learned from that experience is that forgiveness is freedom.
The suffering caused by five hundred years of white supremacy has carved gaping wounds across our collective human psyche. We are bombarded with the misery of political and humanitarian crises around the world. It is important to remember that suffering happens not only because we are separated by constructs like race and nationality, but from ourselves. This split continues to breed blindness to the divinity that exists in every being on earth. Wholeness escapes us because we have overcommitted to the illusion of dichotomous ideologies dividing us, and undercommitted to the reality that in each person exists a good and evil spirit. Thus our identity is marked by the temporary roles we take on rather than the infinite truth of being part of the natural interdependence of the universal spirit.
To the world, it may seem that Arno and I met under the unlikeliest of circumstances. Our brotherhood may seem implausible, but to me it makes perfect sense: the spirit of intention was pushing us on a collision course. When I first met Arno, I immediately noticed that we both bore open wounds. Wounds that we could not heal on our own. It was clear that he could see mine, and I could see his. Peering into one another’s souls, we saw each other’s suffering and, uncomfortable as it was, found the courage to share our stories and our pain. It soon became clear that revealing was healing.
It is my greatest hope that by sharing who we are and what we have learned, we can inspire others to carry forward in Chardi Kala, the relentlessly optimistic spirit of compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and healing. That is the gift of our wounds.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
ARNO MICHAELIS is author of My Life After Hate and works with Serve 2 Unite. He has appeared on major media outlets including the BBC, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The View. You can sign up for email updates here.
PARDEEP SINGH KALEKA is co-founder of Serve 2 Unite and a trauma therapist, and has appeared on NBC, Fox, CNN, Democracy Now!, NPR, and Voices on Antisemitism. You can sign up for email updates here.
ROBIN GABY FISHER is a New York Times bestselling author of seven nonfiction books and a two-time finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in Feature Writing. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
DEDICATION
EPIGRAPHS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
PROLOGUE
ONE A MEETING
TWO EARLY LIVES
THREE TRANSITIONS
FOUR FORKS IN THE ROAD
FIVE A CALLING
SIX THE SHOOTING
SEVEN HATE CRIME
EIGHT THE INVESTIGATION
NINE BROTHERS
TEN JANESVILLE
ELEVEN FORGIVENESS
TWELVE SERVE 2 UNITE
THIRTEEN THE GIFT OF OUR WOUNDS
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
COPYRIGHT
THE GIFT OF OUR WOUNDS. Copyright © 2018 by Arno Michaelis and Pardeep Singh Kaleka. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Author’s note: Some names and identifying details have been changed.
Cover design by Jonathan Bush
Cover photographs: man © Teddy Sczudio/Getty Images; Sikhs © Darren Hauck/Stringer/Getty Images
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-10754-1 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-10755-8 (ebook)
eISBN 9781250107558
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at [email protected].
First Edition: April 2018
The Gift of Our Wounds Page 18
