She glanced at Sep and wondered if he might be one of those who found a better use for his time when he grew up. She’d like to think he would. Maybe Joel’s example would influence Sep for the better.
“I’m going to have to leave this house and talk to Doctor Adams at some point.” Joel’s attention went to Sep. “And I hope you don’t feel the need to keep a gun on hand whenever I’m about to leave the house.”
Sep shrugged. “If you run off, I’ll get Tom or Rick to bring you back.”
“I’m not going to run off. A man is only as good as his word, and if there’s one thing I aim to be, it’s a man who honors his word.”
April hoped Joel meant that. In silence, they finished the rest of their meal.
***
After April put Nora down to bed, she changed into her nightgown. Usually, she stayed up for another hour or two after Nora went to sleep, but the day left her exhausted and all she wanted to do was have it end. She didn’t know whether she was relieved or disappointed when Joel headed out to the barn to do some more repairs. Sep went with him, probably to make sure he really was going to stay.
April wondered how Sep and Joel worked together in the barn. She knew Sep didn’t think Joel treated him very well, but she suspected part of it stemmed from Sep being used to taking on so much of the adult man’s role around the place. Joel slipped into the role now, and that meant Sep had to move aside and let Joel lead. It had to be hard for Sep. He grew up much too fast.
She went over to the dresser and brushed her hair, looking at her reflection in the mirror. The dim light of the kerosene lamp created a soothing glow to the room, something which relaxed her each evening as she got ready for bed. Once she finished working through the tangles, she put her brush down and pulled her hair back to get ready to wrap it into a bun to keep it as tangle-free as possible.
To her surprise, Joel opened the door. Her hands grew still as she turned in his direction. “What are you doing here?” she asked, immediately chastising herself for asking such a ridiculous thing. She’d been married before. She knew what men expected on their wedding night, and to think he wouldn’t expect it when he opposed the marriage was foolish of her.
Joel sat on the bed and pulled off his shoes. “I’m not going to spend one more night on that sorry excuse for a bed your pa used to sleep on. There’s a spring that keeps poking my back, and I can’t get comfortable. If I’m married—” he rolled his eyes—“then I might as well get a good night’s sleep.”
Gulping, she nodded and turned back to the mirror. Who could blame him? Men had needs that had to be satisfied. As his wife, it was her duty to make sure she pleased him. Even so, her hands trembled as she pulled her hair back into a bun. She tried to ignore him as he took off his pants and shirt but he was built better than Harvey. Harvey had been thick and tall. He towered over her and Sep. And while Joel didn’t necessarily have more muscles than Harvey had, he was shorter and had a lighter frame. He wasn’t imposing when he came into the room.
Granted, he had a way of sighing and whining that grated on her nerves at times, but she’d rather be annoyed than scared. If she didn’t already dread the marital bed, she wouldn’t be trembling right now. She glanced at him again and saw that he pulled back the covers and settled into what had been Harvey’s side of the bed.
He sighed, this time in relief and closed his eyes. “Finally. Nothing is poking me.”
Reluctant, she turned down the lamp knob until it was dark in the room and checked on Nora who was sound asleep. Unable to delay the inevitable any longer, she reached the bed and joined Joel under the covers. Her heart pounded and a cold sweat broke out across her forehead. It would be over soon. Within minutes, really. She just needed to close her eyes and think of something else, like what she’d be making for tomorrow’s meals.
Mentally prepared, she waited for Joel to make his move, but he stayed on his side of the bed. Opening her eyes, she looked at him. In the moonlight that filtered through the worn curtains, she saw that he was staring at the ceiling. Was he waiting for her permission? Harvey hadn’t but if Joel had no experience with women, perhaps he didn’t know it was standard for the man to just get started.
As she opened her mouth to speak, he asked, “What’s in the locked bedroom?”
She shut her mouth. She wondered when he was going to ask about that room but didn’t think he’d be thinking of anything besides sex while in bed with her.
“Are you going to tell me?”
Licking her lips, she said, “I’m surprised you’d bring it up when…” She struggled to think of the best way to word things but couldn’t seem to come up with anything.
“Nora can’t sleep in here forever,” he replied after a tense moment of silence passed between them. “It’s fine when she’s a baby, but she’ll be old enough for her own room soon. She can’t be in the same room with Sep. It’d be different if she was a boy, but since she’s a girl, she needs a separate room. I want to put her in the third bedroom.”
Gripping the blanket in her hands, she shook her head. “No. She’ll be fine in here.”
“No, she won’t. Not forever. And let’s be realistic. Sooner or later, she’ll have brothers and sisters. Do you want all of them in here?”
Her face grew warm and it wasn’t necessarily because of the locked bedroom. “Then let’s worry about it when she has brothers and sisters. For the time being, she’s just fine.”
Turning to face her, he softly asked, “Why do you lock the door? What’s in there that’s so horrible you refuse to open it?”
She tried to blink her tears away, but one slid down her cheek.
His gaze went to her trembling lips and then to her cheek where another tear fell. Sighing, he rolled onto his side so that his back was to her. “Alright. We’ll let the matter drop for tonight.”
She brushed away another tear and forced her mind off of the memories of the screaming and yelling that used to come from within that room. It was all in the past. There was nothing to fear anymore. Well, there was Lou, but Joel was here to take care of him and she had no doubt he would if Lou dared to show up on the property again.
Taking a deep breath, she shoved the unwanted memories back to the recesses of her mind where she didn’t have to deal with them. Nothing could change what happened. Reliving it was pointless. What she needed to do was let that part of her life die with Harvey.
In the next few minutes, her swirling emotions calmed and she was able to fully come back to the present. She took in the details around her that she often missed. The shadows that danced on the ceiling as the wind blew the tree branches outside the window. The gentle breathing from Nora. The wisp of stray hair that tickled her neck. The warmth from Joel’s body which was barely touching hers.
When he started snoring, she frowned and sat up so she could peer over his shoulder and see whether or not he was pretending to be asleep. But why would he pretend to snore? Baffled, she settled back into the bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin. Why didn’t he initiate lovemaking? Wasn’t he interested in it? Shrugging, she turned onto her side, facing away from him, and snuggled into the pillow and mattress. Who cared why he decided not to pursue the physical side of their relationship? It meant she was off the hook, at least for tonight. Relieved, she closed her eyes. Oddly enough, for the first time since she married Harvey, she was able to sleep straight through the night.
Chapter Eleven
As Rick promised, he and Sally arrived with Joel’s belongings the next day. April experienced a wave of apprehension as they walked through the front door, followed by their son who inherited his father’s dark hair. Sally, however, had the same blond hair that Tom and Joel did. She wondered if the children she and Joel would have would have brown or blond hair.
She turned her attention back to the people walking into her house. Nora waddled over to her and held her hands up. Picking her up, April rubbed her back and whispered, “It’s alright, honey. These are your aunt and uncle.” She might as
well get used to thinking of them as her new family.
While Rick set the trunk on the parlor floor, Sally squealed and ran over to hug her, careful not to squeeze too much because of Nora. “I’m so excited to meet you!” Sally patted Nora’s head and added, “And you, too. April, your daughter is the cutest little thing!”
“Thank you,” April replied, surprised by the woman’s friendliness.
Sally motioned to Rick and her son. “You’ve already met my husband, and that’s our son, Greg. He’s eight.” With a sigh, she added, “It wasn’t too long ago he was as small as your daughter. What’s her name?”
“Nora.”
“What a pretty name. If I ever have a girl, I think I’ll name her Laura.” She giggled and nudged April in the side. “Laura rhymes with Nora.”
From where he stood next to Rick and Sep, Joel rolled his eyes. “Everything amuses you, Sally.” He pointed to the trunk. “Is that everything I own?”
Rick nodded. “We cleared everything out from the boarding house.”
“What did Doctor Adams say when you told him I was forced into getting married?” Joel asked as he lifted the trunk.
April bit her lower lip so she wouldn’t spout off that it wasn’t exactly a good deal for her either. How long was he going to keep harping on the forced marriage thing? One would think the groaning and sighing he did all through the ceremony would be enough. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that he hadn’t been so bad during supper or in bed. It was actually better than she thought it would be. He wouldn’t be running around, gambling and visiting prostitutes, and he was good to Nora. Maybe it wasn’t ideal, but it was certainly bearable.
“Doctor Adams says he understands,” Rick said. “He agrees it was the best course of action, given the circumstances.”
Though a slight grimace crossed his face, Joel replied, “At least I haven’t lost my job. Well, I suppose I better unpack.”
Sally shook her head and placed one of her hands on her hips. “You needn’t mope, Joel. Your life didn’t come to an end. In fact, a man’s life doesn’t really begin until he settles down with a good woman.”
“That’s a matter of opinion,” Joel muttered, not bothering to look back as he sauntered out of the room.
“I should help him,” Rick said before he followed him.
When the two men reached the stairs, Sally asked April, “Has he been acting like this the whole time he’s been out here?”
April would be lying if she said no, so she nodded.
“I’m sorry,” Sally replied. “Joel’s not so bad once he understands something is good for him.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She shrugged. “I probably wouldn’t be happy either if the same thing happened to me. Would you like to come to the kitchen? I can get us something to eat and drink.”
Sep went to the window and pushed aside the curtains. “I could take care of the horse,” he told Sally. “That is, if you plan to stay for a while.”
“I’m sure Rick would appreciate it,” Sally replied.
“Can I go?” Greg asked.
Letting go of the curtains, Sep shrugged. “It’s fine with me.”
April shifted Nora to her other arm. “We’ll have something warm for you to drink when you come back.” The boys nodded, so April offered a smile to Sally. “Would you like to come to the kitchen?”
Sally nodded, put her coat on the coat tree by the front door, and joined her as she strolled down the hallway to the kitchen. “You know, we heard Joel went missing and feared the worst. With the blizzard and all, we thought he might’ve gotten stranded out in the snow and froze to death. We were so relieved when Tom told us what happened. Marriage is just the thing Joel needs. Really, every man needs a wife. A wife gives a man stability and a place to call home.”
As they entered the kitchen, April couldn’t help but grin at Sally’s cheerfulness. It was such a strange contrast to Joel’s sour mood. “Are you sure you and Joel are related?”
“Oh, Joel was such an odd boy. He didn’t seem to have a sense of purpose while we were growing up. He spent most of his time hiding to avoid any kind of work, and when we did catch him, he’d be staring off into the distance. We worried he’d go around drifting from one thing to another, unable to commit to anything. Of all the men I’ve known, he needs a wife the most. At least now he has someone to pull him back to Earth.”
Unable to hide a sly grin, April said, “Sep caught him staring at nothing in particular yesterday in the hallway upstairs.”
With a groan, she rubbed her forehead and shook her head. “You see how much he needs a wife? No one was meant to have their head in the clouds their entire life.” April pulled out the highchair to put Nora in, but Sally asked, “Can I hold her?”
“Sure.”
Sally took Nora into her arms and gave the baby a slight tickle. Nora laughed and snuggled into her embrace. “I miss holding Greg when he was a baby. Lately, he’s been telling me he’s not a baby anymore. He wants to spend more time with his pa or cousins. The only time he comes running to me is if he’s hurt or wants something to eat.”
“I think motherhood is something people take for granted.”
“You’re telling me!” Sally sat down and smiled at Nora. “It’d be nice to have another one, though. This time I’d like a girl. You know, someone I can cook and sew with, someone I can take to the mercantile to look at pretty things like ribbons. You and Nora will get to have wonderful adventures together.”
April hadn’t thought about doing things like that with Nora, but she supposed Sally was right. Her pa and brother became closer as Sep grew older. She had hoped Harvey might be like a second father to Sep. Things hadn’t turned out as she hoped, but she had believed Harvey would be a good husband, too. Sometimes a woman just couldn’t tell if she was marrying the right man or not when she said her vows.
With a tentative look at Sally, April grabbed the bucket of well water Sep retrieved for her that morning and poured some water into the coffee pot. “Your brother is a good man, isn’t he?”
With a laugh, Sally clapped Nora’s hands together, and Nora giggled. Looking up at April, she said, “Joel’s a good man. You don’t have to worry about him.”
April relaxed and got the coffee ready to boil on the cook stove. She thought so, but it was nice to have the reassurance. As she retrieved some cookies from her container on one of the shelves, she noted Sally’s enthusiasm for holding a baby. “You really want another one, don’t you?” She motioned to Nora.
“I always thought I’d have more than one child.” She shrugged. “I assumed sooner or later, it was bound to happen, but it’s been eight years since Greg was born. It could still happen. Not everyone has children right away.”
Though Sally tried to appear nonchalant about the issue, April sensed the frustration and sorrow beneath the surface. Not sure of what to say, especially since she didn’t know Sally well enough to be her confidante, she chose to be quiet. April could spout off some trite words people used to try to make others feel better, but she knew it wouldn’t fit. So she kept silent while she got the hot chocolate ready for the children.
Joel and Rick came down the stairs as Sep and Greg came in through the kitchen door, stomping their boots as they did so. Rick removed his coat and hung it next to Greg’s and Sep’s by the kitchen door before he sat next to Sally at the table.
“Joel’s all settled in now,” he told Sally who was bouncing a giggling Nora on her leg.
Joel sat next to Rick, sighed, stretched his legs under the table and crossed his arms. “Yes, I’m all settled in.”
Once again, he was doing the dreadful sighing. April hoped he’d moved beyond the dramatic suffering, but she guessed he did it for Sally and Rick’s benefit rather than hers.
“Are those cookies?” Greg asked as he plopped into the seat next to Sep which happened to be across from his parents.
“Yes, they are,” April replied and set the plate of cookies in the cent
er of the table before she gave everyone their drinks.
“Joel was telling me he’s been fixing the place up,” Rick said as he picked up a cookie and handed it to Sally who split it in half and offered it to Nora.
“Really?” Sally’s eyes widened in interest.
“I was bored,” Joel said.
Rick leaned closer to Sally and softly said, “Or so he claims.”
Joel rolled his eyes and drank his coffee.
Greg and Sep grabbed a couple of cookies, and Greg said, “Sep let me take the bridles off the horses!”
April’s lips turned up at Greg’s enthusiasm. It reminded her of the day Sep figured out how to put a bridle on and off a horse by himself. Their pa had been proud of him, which added to his excitement.
“Christmas is coming up next week,” Sally began after she swallowed her part of the cookie. “We’d love it if you came out.”
“That’s what this trip is really about,” Joel muttered to no one in particular. “Sally can’t resist the temptation to introduce the new person to everyone in the family.”
Holding Nora against her chest, Sally leaned forward and glared at Joel. “I hope you do a better job of minding your manners when I’m not around.”
He didn’t bother looking in her direction. Instead, he stared at the shelves lining the wall in front of him and sipped more of his coffee.
“I see you’re being a delight at all times,” Sally quipped before she settled back in the chair. “April and Sep, I hope you don’t think the rest of us are like him. Some of us can be quite pleasant.”
“That’s a matter of opinion,” Joel mumbled.
“You know, when Joel was seventeen, our brother David got married, and all Joel could talk about was—”
“For goodness’ sakes.” Joel straightened in his seat. “I’ll stop, alright Sally?”
Pleased, she nodded and turned the conversation back to Christmas.
April almost wished Sally had finished the sentence. Whatever it was she was going to say embarrassed Joel to no end, if his red face was an indicator of his feelings. April glanced at Sep, but he and Greg were whispering about the horses out in the barn. Returning her attention to Sally, she spent the next half hour listening to Sally tell her all about her brothers, sisters, and their children.
Shotgun Groom Page 9
